Okay, here's my dilemma

Fyrstar · January 11, 2007, 04:50:34 PM

Okay, it's been 24 hours since I joined, so now I can share my heartfelt question:

I'm on HRT (as some of you know:) I received so many pm's about my HRT topic being deleted, I felt like a celebrity!!!!:)

), and have been for 3 months. I am 34 years young, and have developed an AA cup. I don't really know the size, I'm afraid to ask.

Now, here's the question....

At what point can I truly call myself a female? I feel female mentally, but physically I am definitely still male. I don't show breasts that can be noticed with my shirt on, and, of course, I'm still cursed with the male genitalia. I know that I could call myself female now, but I guess the real question is when do I ask others to NOT call me MR. X or a guy?

Sarah Louise · January 11, 2007, 05:01:44 PM

That isn't a question that can really be answered with the information you have shared so far.

But, it would be hard to ask anyone not to call you a guy or Mr. X, if you have not transitioned.

I think you need a therapist to discuss this with and go from there.

Sarah L.

LynnER · January 11, 2007, 05:41:06 PM

Everyone is diffrent, it sometimes takes a while for changes to occour.... Age, weight, health, genetics, smokeing, drinking, all that has an effect on how well HRT works....
Some people have noticeable changes at 3 months, some 6 some longer... but for the most part Id say it starts getting hard to hide right around the 6month area....

If you mentaly feel female allready, then your on the right path and set... your body will catch up eventualy... Just make sure you kill off any facial fuzz you may have and keep steady on your perscribed regimen and youll do fine

Melissa · January 11, 2007, 06:12:16 PM

Quote from: Fyrstar on January 11, 2007, 04:50:34 PM
At what point can I truly call myself a female?

When you feel you are one. I haven't had surgery, but I feel I am one.

Melissa

cindianna_jones · January 11, 2007, 06:40:15 PM

You can ask anytime you feel like it. Really. Whether they respect your wishes largely depends on you. If you are prepared, many will easily make the transition for you. If you are not prepared, they will feel very uncomfortable. It's a mental thing too. If you feel comfortable in your new role, chances are better if you'll pull it off.

I'm glad that you feel like a celebrity! Every once in a while, something pops up and all the moderators go after it at the same time. I'm glad you didn't go away!

Cindi

Fyrstar · January 11, 2007, 07:00:12 PM

Hehehe, thanks Cindi=)

Ask for a therapist, I wont go that route. Cant afford them AND HRT, and I feel that people going through these experiences can offer better advice than a person that hasn't. It would be akin to talking to a fisherman about how to launch a satellite into space. Sure, some fisherman might get lucky and answer one question, but how often does it happen that they get more than one question right? I'd rather ask NASA, who has experience in launching them.

I'm not saying they work for some people, but I don't need to pay someone to listen to me when I have people on the forums that can assist=D

Hugs to all!

LynnER · January 11, 2007, 07:20:21 PM

Unfortunatly a theripist is a necicary facilitator in transition.... its a leagality if not a personal necesity... I spend 100/session with my theripist... I see her so infrequently its become more of a technicality rather than actual theripy.....

(After the initial icebreaking period with my theripist)
Hi, howve you been, your looking great... so whats new... okay... anything on your mind, or do you need to get anything off your chest... allright... I'll see you some other time... your doing great... good luck with the next step of your journey....

Im not going to say thats standard, but she is a necicary part of my transition... I NEEDED her letters so I could start HRT, and she has to write my GRS letter for me so.... yeah, expensive at times but well worth it in the long run...

Melissa · January 12, 2007, 12:17:00 AM

Quote from: LynnER on January 11, 2007, 07:20:21 PM
Unfortunatly a theripist is a necicary facilitator in transition.... its a leagality if not a personal necesity... I spend 100/session with my theripist... I see her so infrequently its become more of a technicality rather than actual theripy.....

LOL same here, except it's only $60/session. I've only seen him twice. Back in June I had him write me a carry letter and a letter to change the gender marker on my license and last night I asked him to write my first SRS letter, which he's mailing to me now.

My previous one I had only seen 4 times prior to getting a hormone letter and the one before that twice (work switched insurance to a non-HMO and had to start over).

Melissa

cindianna_jones · January 12, 2007, 12:39:40 AM

Shoot... I just talk to Squirrel! She's free!

Cindi

Fyrstar · January 12, 2007, 03:31:09 PM

LOL!!! I didn't need a letter to start HRT, and I'm planning on going overseas to get the final stage surgery.

Melissa · January 12, 2007, 03:32:55 PM

Quote from: Fyrstar on January 12, 2007, 03:31:09 PM
LOL!!! I didn't need a letter to start HRT, and I'm planning on going overseas to get the final stage surgery.

So am I. A letter (actually 2 of them) is still required by any reputable surgeon.

Melissa

Kimberly · January 12, 2007, 06:26:34 PM

I do not mean to grump. But, let me just point out that most people are SO not familiar with the inner workings of their body. Taking someone's inexperienced results and basing off of best guesses is... foolish. At best. Trust me if I thought it was a good Idea I would have self medicated. I didn't, perhaps that is a subtle enough hint? I can say the same about the therapist actually. I know my mind better than he does, BUT he has been a large help to me nonetheless.

That said, it is your life and you should do with it as you please, but PLEASE make sure you are actually thinking.

As a side note, I trust my genetic male (and happy) therapist TONS more than my friend's TS therapist. So um, yeah. "Been there and done that" is not necessarily a measure of competence.

Meh.

Do be careful Fyrstar, please...

Ricki · January 12, 2007, 07:06:10 PM

what Melissa said and what Kimberly said...
You will know or will know when and how in a lot fo cases, do not expect or wait for others to take the lead in this scenario it will not happen the way you want it to...
hugs
Ricki

Fyrstar · January 13, 2007, 10:18:06 AM

I greatly appreciate all of your input!

Kate · January 13, 2007, 07:38:18 PM

Quote from: Fyrstar on January 11, 2007, 04:50:34 PM
I guess the real question is when do I ask others to NOT call me MR. X or a guy?

A TS friend of mine has always told me, "let the world tell you when you're female."

She wasn't speaking in terms of how you FEEL, but rather that once you find strangers consistently referring to you as a "her," regardless of your clothing, then you've transitioned.

It's a bit different of course with people you know, as it's apparently difficult to overcome the inertia of years and years of thinking of you as a male. And yet, at least two people I work with are *demanding* that they be allowed to call me "her" and "Kate" NOW... and I'm not full-time yet. On the other hand, my wife avoids pronouns entirely, as well as using ANY name. But asking for it somehow ruins it for me... I want my *presence* to demand it, if possible.

Kate

Ricki · January 14, 2007, 07:36:41 PM

Kate i'm impressed that was very good-what you wrote above!!

hunny says you get a bunch of woof's!
Ricki

Melissa · January 14, 2007, 07:56:29 PM

Quote from: Ricki on January 14, 2007, 07:36:41 PM
hunny says you get a bunch of woof's!

I am assuming Hunny is your dog that you have in your avatar. She is a REALLY cute dog.

Melissa

Ricki · January 14, 2007, 08:01:01 PM

Thanks Melissa she is 7 months old a boxer! A whole bundle of energy, poop, pee and love all at once! I am gonna put a pic back of me maybe tomorrow i think she is just too cute though not to share!
Thanks'
Ricki

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