How do you deal with being liked by a lesbian?

[Robert F.]

Are you guys comfortable with it? Ok with it? Or do you think of it as an insult? There's this girl in my art class, and I think she might like me, but she's a lesbian. I'm not sure whether to be happy she likes me or upset that she potentially sees me as a girl.

[Elijah3291]

if a lesbian, or a straight guy had a crush on me, I would be offended.

if they are bi, pansexual, or a gay guy, thats fine

hell, im even upset that my ex boyfriend told me a few weeks ago that he thinks he likes masculine girls.. that really got me pissed. like, "was that what i was to you when we dated?"

theres my 2 cents

[Nygeel]

So long as they respected me and treated me as a guy I really wouldn't care. Most of the lesbian identified women that have been attracted to me ended up dating cisgender men after (two ended up married to men and have children with them).

[Liam K]

I'm currently dating a woman who identifies as a lesbian.  While mostly I don't mind that fact, I'd be lying if I said it doesn't make me feel kind of insecure sometimes.  Like, if I were a cisgender guy, I highly doubt she'd be into having a relationship with me.  But she always uses the correct pronouns, calls me her boyfriend, and seems to generally think of me as a guy, which helps.  In the end, as long as someone is willing to accept and respect my identity, I'm willing to accept and respect theirs, and as a queer person, I try not to let labels restrict and confine me so much.

[Noah G.]

If a lesbian liked me because she thought I was a lesbian or a bisexual, uhm, woman, then I'd generally disregard the interest. I've done it before in life, actually, both with a lesbian and a straight guy (who saw me as a girl).

If, however, she was a lesbian who was making an exception and saw me as a guy and treated me as such then I would make an exception as well and, if things seemed mutual, would see where things went. If she still wanted to identify as a lesbian then fine by me, so long as she did not think of the relationship as a lesbian one.

I've actually even had problems in a past relationship related to being seen and treated and referred to as FTM opposed to just M, I'm just not comfortable with it; I know I'm FTM, but I identify as a guy and want to be treated as such. So I'm definitely not going to be comfortable being seen, treated, and referred to as a woman.

[tekla]

Most of the ex-lesbian identified women that have been attracted to me ended up dating cisgender men after (two ended up married to men and have children with them).

When I was teaching we called them LUGs - Lesbian Until Graduation.  The most militant Lesbian on the campus when I was the LGBTXYZ faculty advisor (my only request when they asked me to do it was to ask them never to ask me to do anything) sent me a wedding invitation not a year out of school.

[xander]

I'm with Elijah.
I'd be offended.


My ex girlfriend came out as being a lesbian while we were dating.
That really riled me up. Especially when she'd talk about the things she dislikes about men.
I'd be hesitant dating a lesbian again, there's a reason they're lesbian and not bi. There's something about males they're not attracted to, personality or physicality whatever.

But don't get me wrong,  there are some exceptions to this..

[Nygeel]

Most of the ex-lesbian identified women that have been attracted to me ended up dating cisgender men after (two ended up married to men and have children with them).

When I was teaching we called them LUGs - Lesbian Until Graduation.  The most militant Lesbian on the campus when I was the LGBTXYZ faculty advisor (my only request when they asked me to do it was to ask them never to ask me to do anything) sent me a wedding invitation not a year out of school.

D'awww but they were lesbians after graduation, too!

[xander]

get her to clarify her feelings about you and your gender before you decide if you should be offended or not.

[tekla]

Yeah, the were lesbians right up to the moment when they mounted that guy and rode his bone pony into Orgasm City screaming "oh my god, oh my god' and getting that bun in the oven.  Sounds like they were cured.

[Alexmakenoise]

I can't imagine being offended by the fact that someone likes me.  I've been hit on by people of all genders and apparent sexual orientations.  I'm sure some were genuinely attracted, and others were just being friendly.  Either way, it's a compliment as long as the person's not being a creep.

How can you tell whether another person is gay or straight or bisexual?  And what gives you the right to know?  Personally, I think it's none of your business what anyone else's sexual orientation is, or what they think of you.  So if someone goes out of their way to let me know they like me, I'm flattered, and appreciative, no matter who they are.

[Noah G.]

Yeah, the were lesbians right up to the moment when they mounted that guy and rode his bone pony into Orgasm City screaming "oh my god, oh my god' and getting that bun in the oven.  Sounds like they were cured.

I am so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that! That is hilarious.

[Nygeel]

Yeah, the were lesbians right up to the moment when they mounted that guy and rode his bone pony into Orgasm City screaming "oh my god, oh my god' and getting that bun in the oven.  Sounds like they were cured.

I WAS THAT GUY! Minus the bun in the oven.

I am the gateway to heterosexuality. Sleep with me and I will cure you of your lesbianism!

[Michael Joseph]

Im with elijah too 100%. Its funny though. The last 3 people to tell me they had a crush on me were 2 "straight" girls and a "gay" guy, all who know I was born in a girls body and they all admitted theyve never had a crush on a girl before. Well maybe its because im NOT a girl. I thought that was funny/odd/really cool.

[Sharky]

I'd take it as a compliment.

[Alyssa M.]

There's a ton of pressure to be straight. I never quite realized how strong it was, but it's amazing how, as a woman, it's expected that I be into guys. There's another way of looking at it, too: society gives me a lot of room to be into guys. So, yeah, I have never been the slightest bit interested in dating a man, but I can't say I haven't had a few little crushes. I'm far more confident in my sexuality than most self-identified lesbians I know, so I don't mind admitting that. But the flip side of Tekla's LUG stereotype is that there aren't a lot of Gold Stars out there. The most butch Harley-riding dyke you'll meet probably dated one or two guys in college.

In other words, accept it as a compliment -- as long as she's not being creepy and fetishizing you (unlikely) or mis-gendering you (more likely). You won't be the first guy that a lesbian was ever into.

[Brent123]

I'm dating a girl that used to consider herself a lesbian. We've dated for a year and took a break. Now we've been dating for about 3 months. I used that time to figure out who I was. I told her I'm FTM and she's fine with it. She doesn't do anything I'm uncomfortable with and even calls me her boyfriend. There are times when she doesn't but she always feels guilty after. She's trying really hard and I know this is a difficult thing to consider. But I really couldn't ask for a better girl.

[GnomeKid]

At this point i'd be quite content with it... I'm rather to male to be liked by a  true lesbian though [after 1.5 years on T] so if one liked me she'd have to be the type who bends back to "straight" every once in a while aka bi but doesn't identify directly as such. 

I think I'd feel more comfortable with a lesbian [or bi- leaning towards lesbian] partner because I wouldn't feel embarassed over the lack of penis situation.  I wouldn't fear the thought [or even have to bare] the thought of how pathetically I [physically] measure up to her past lovers and all of that. 

i was in a relationship [as a lesbian] when i came out to my [bi] girlfriend.  Our relationship didn't really change for it, and I was transitioned by the time we broke up [though she remained my best friend] so the concept doesn't offend me at all. 

[Robert F.]

I can't imagine being offended by the fact that someone likes me.  I've been hit on by people of all genders and apparent sexual orientations.  I'm sure some were genuinely attracted, and others were just being friendly.  Either way, it's a compliment as long as the person's not being a creep.

How can you tell whether another person is gay or straight or bisexual?  And what gives you the right to know?  Personally, I think it's none of your business what anyone else's sexual orientation is, or what they think of you.  So if someone goes out of their way to let me know they like me, I'm flattered, and appreciative, no matter who they are.

I wasn't speculating on her sexual orientation. She sits across from me and I hear her and her friend talking about the girls they like, and girls who've recently come out, etc, and I hear them talking about being lesbians in high school. Also, I see your point. I guess I'm not really offended, I'm just kind of upset that I'm not passing.

[FebruaryFalls]

At this point in my transition, no...I just probably wouldn't be able to date one, I never have, the only girls I've dated were Bi leaning to the straight side...I like to think they dated me because I was like a guy in essentially every way but I could cater to their emotional side better

I do get offended when guys have a crush on me though...and frequently point out that they're attracted to a guy