do you think it's harder to be male or female, why?

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

changing ones sex gives me alot of time to think about these kinds of things. i used to think it was harder to be a male when i had to live as one, but i really only thought it was easier to live as female because i knew that's what i was. now that i'm living as female, i'm starting to see it's not that easy. i'm starting to think it might be just as hard as living as a male, if not harder.

[spacial]

I've thought about this as well.

In  the early 80s, I spent about 3 months wandering around parts of Europe, living out of a tent and taking jobs where I could find them. I met girls doing the same, but they were always in pairs or more. I did think that I might have some problems if I were a girl, alone, wandeing around. But that could happen anyway really.

I suppose it depends upon how preoccupied you are with passing. Seems to me, if I were to be continually trying to think like a girl, I'd probably find all sorts of problems. But If I just think like me and take others for what they are, I hope I can forget what I was.

I've been hit upon by men a few times. Needless to say, I wasn't interested. But I would imagine that a girl, on her own, might be hit upon a bit more often.

What sort of situations are you thinking of SpaceyGirl?

[Yakshini]

This sort of question is impossible to answer because everyone has baggage regarding difficulties and their gender or sex.
I could say it's harder to be female because in the united states, they are still only paid $.70 for every dollar a male is paid. In some ways, they are still treated below males.
But at the same time, I could say it is more difficult to be a man simply because often women are given things that they want/need because they are women (reverse sexism), and men must work for everything they want.

These are both generalizations. Just like any answer to this question would be.

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

I've thought about this as well.

In  the early 80s, I spent about 3 months wandering around parts of Europe, living out of a tent and taking jobs where I could find them. I met girls doing the same, but they were always in pairs or more. I did think that I might have some problems if I were a girl, alone, wandeing around. But that could happen anyway really.

I suppose it depends upon how preoccupied you are with passing. Seems to me, if I were to be continually trying to think like a girl, I'd probably find all sorts of problems. But If I just think like me and take others for what they are, I hope I can forget what I was.

I've been hit upon by men a few times. Needless to say, I wasn't interested. But I would imagine that a girl, on her own, might be hit upon a bit more often.

What sort of situations are you thinking of SpaceyGirl?

i'm thinking of things like appearance, amount of respect, and then alot of social expectations. expectations like " a real woman should be married by now." "what kind of woman are you if you don't give birth?"

[ToriJo]

(my opinion as an outsider only)

I think research is fairly clear on male privilege existing in western cultures.  Of course it probably depends on the exact thing you are interested in doing - it's probably easier to be an elementary school teacher or nurse as a woman, for instance, although I'd bet you have less chance of job advancement and get paid less if you are a woman.

Of course TG people will lack the privilege of a cis-male in many cases, and often lack the privilege of even a cis-female, regardless of their gender.

But I suspect the hardest place to be is where you have to pretend to be something you aren't.

[kyril]

i'm thinking of things like appearance, amount of respect, and then alot of social expectations. expectations like " a real woman should be married by now." "what kind of woman are you if you don't give birth?"

Well, men have our share of social expectations too:

"Real men don't cry" (crying is only prohibited for women in a professional context)
"Real men drink beer" (women are encouraged to have their own tastes in food/drink, but men are expected to like "manly" things)
"A man should be able to fix (insert mechanical device)" (women aren't expected to be experts at building/fixing everything)
It's also expected that we be able to lift heavy things, kill insects and vermin on demand, protect our families physically, provide for them economically, and a whole long list of other stuff. We're supposed to be emotionless automata who can kill a deer with our bare hands, clean it, bring it home for dinner, and then shift gears right into changing diapers and singing silly cartoon theme songs with our 2.3 kids.

Then if you're a gay man, you get a lot of the same expectations that women have to live with: stay young-looking, stay thin, stay fit and healthy-looking, wear stylish/creative clothing, shave in strange places, wear makeup as appropriate, style your hair, appear nonthreatening (especially to children), show emotion...but do all of those things so well and so subtly that you can still pass as straight. Oh, and don't forget all of your male-gender-specific duties, like having a good job, being strong and muscular, protecting the women around you, eating as dictated by the Man Code when in public, fixing stuff, killing small creatures, and all that. And you'd better study up on your sports trivia/vocabulary, even if you hate watching sports, because it's your ticket to male bonding if you can't talk convincingly about women.

I'm not trying to diminish the things that are expected of women, but men have sexist expectations we have to deal with as well.

[LordKAT]

I think it is harder to be the gender you are not. The  people born into the right gender seem to have a lot less issues in general and actually like being that way.

Those of us  with bodies that just aren't right tend to think that the gender we are/were 'forced' to live as is the hardest.

[Rock_chick]

Generally i think it's hard just being human most days.

[Cindy]

It is easier being yourself. The rest is history.

Cindy

[LordKAT]

It is easier being yourself. The rest is history.

Cindy

There you go putting my whole 2 paragraphs into one sentence.

[tekla]

It is easier being yourself. The rest is history.

See, I'd say just the opposite.  The hardest thing to be is true to yourself, but once you make it there, the rest doesn't matter at all.

[LordKAT]

It may be hard to start with but like many things, it is easier with time and feels right. The hard thing has more to do with worry about how others see you I think.

[Cindy]

It is easier being yourself. The rest is history.

See, I'd say just the opposite.  The hardest thing to be is true to yourself, but once you make it there, the rest doesn't matter at all.

Isn't that what I said?

[regan]

Like Kyril said, its matters what social expectations you buy into.  At the end of the day if you add up all the positives and negatives, males and females probably come out about even.

If its hard being a male, becuase you're not, you're on the right track.  I wouldn't worry about the rest of it.

[Ashleyjadeism]

I think it's harder to be neither and just be me... Although I think it'd be easier to be female than male...

[Nygeel]

My answer is "no." Sure, the expected answer is "it's harder to be...." or about how both have different but similar/equal struggles. It's easy to be one or the other, it's hard to be both or neither.

[Debra]

I tell people that there are rewards and challenges for both sexes.

So it's really more subjective of a question. For me it was harder to try to be a man because I'm a woman.

[pretty pauline]

I tell people that there are rewards and challenges for both sexes.

So it's really more subjective of a question. For me it was harder to try to be a man because I'm a woman.

Well said, I think its harder to live as somebody you are not, when you finally live in your right gender, its liberating and life a lot easier.
Its definitely a lot more expensive living as a woman, the list is endless, grooming,  hair, makeup, nails, clothes, bags, purses and shoes, a woman can never never have too many shoes, its much cheaper being a guy, but getting more and more expensive being a woman, Im not complaining, thats what I signed up to, now theres a good excuse to go shopping, yet again!
Pauline

[regan]

Well said, I think its harder to live as somebody you are not, when you finally live in your right gender, its liberating and life a lot easier.
Its definitely a lot more expensive living as a woman, the list is endless, grooming,  hair, makeup, nails, clothes, bags, purses and shoes, a woman can never never have too many shoes, its much cheaper being a guy, but getting more and more expensive being a woman, Im not complaining, thats what I signed up to, now theres a good excuse to go shopping, yet again!
Pauline

But, there is no law (other then social expectations) that requires women to invest in "grooming,  hair, makeup, nails, clothes, bags, purses and shoes". 

[tekla]

Yeah, that one bothered me too, it seems (well a lot of stuff in here does really) like all of this is just one more commodity that can be bought and sold.