help, advice & moral support needed

[Jayne]

Thank you for having me on your forum.

Firstly a brief bit about me: I've known since I was about 7 that I wanted to be a woman but have kept this hidden for almost 30 years due to a very narrowminded father making me afraid to ever discuss this, I would dress as a woman & it's the only time I feel truly comfortable with myself. About 9 years ago I was preparing to tell my family & friends but for reasons unknown to me I pursued a relationship with a woman & ended up living with her for 8 yrs, I always had intimacy problems with her & would often cry myself to sleep after being intimate.

Just after christmas I could not take this any longer & began to feel that I would rather my life was over than continue with this lie so I ended the relationship, a few weeks after this I confided in a female friend & she has been a rock in the storm for me, she has supported me emotionaly through this period & was the first person to see me dressed as a woman, I mean it with all my heart when I say I owe her a debt I may never truly be able to repay as I feel as if she saved my life. I am extremely fortunate that I have many friends, all of whom have been very understanding  i've not lost one single friend.

I've spoken to my doctor & am now nervously waiting for an appointment for pshycological evaluation, I have many questions so will just start with a few basic ones.

1: Are there any help groups for my family & ex girlfriend who are struggling to come to terms with this?

2: What can I expect from the evaluation?

3: This is one very important to me, I was turned down by a private medical group for laser hair removal to have my facial hair removed due to having exzema, what are my alternatives & what can I do about a very prominent five o'clock shadow?
I'm very self concious about this & can't go out in public as a woman until I find an answer so would appreciate any advise.

Thank you for taking the time to read this

[spacial]

Hi Jane.

Great news that you've found some support and are starting to get your life together.

We don't know where you live. We don't want the address, but some idea of the general locale. Country, N/S for most, perhaps the state for the US or Australia.

As for the exzema. You may not know this by that is one of the psychosomatic conditions. What that means is that the cause is gentic and physical, as are all diseases, but also emotional. As your situation inproves, that may clear up.

In the mean time, don't use any chemicals. Try to use simple soap. You might also think of investing in a decent electric shaver. I find the plug in kind are much more powerful.

Welcome to Susans'. I can promise you one thing here, a load of support.

[annette]

Hi Jane

Very welcome to the forum dear.
maybe it makes sense to go to a dermatologist to treat the eczema before the laser hair removal.
Sometimes a creme with cortisol can do wonders for your skin.
Spacial is also right, much of eczema is psychosomatic, maybe your skin is improving now you've found more inner peace.
She is also right about the support, coz there are a lot of supporting people here.

I hope you will have a wonderfull time here

hugs
annette

[Jayne]

Thanks for the advice, since I got this out in the open my skin has improved, the rashes & open sores have been healing wonderfully fast but regular shaving is drying it out so my 10 minute moisturising sessions after my daily soak in special bath oils has now become a half hour or more but things are looking better.

The support i've recieved has been overwelming, I announced my news on a forum for an organisation i'm involved in because so many people over the country know me by sight & forum username but aside from when we gather I have no way of letting people know about my circumstances & wanted to avoid them feeling awkward whenever we next meet, in the space of 2 days I had 128 replies from about 50 people & only 3 were negative, by the end of the first day I was in tears because of the amount of support I recieved.

Spacial, sorry I forgot to mention which country I live in, it's England, due to my high cost of living & less than impressive wage i'm at the mercy of the NHS, i've heard good & bad about going through this on the NHS so i'm just praying for the best outcome. If I moved to cheaper accomodation I could possibly scrape enough together to go private but this is the cheapest place I could rent that would let me have my dog, whilst I can't imagine continuing life as a man I also couldn't imagine life without my ever faithfull dog, so i'll go the hard way just to keep him by my side

[spacial]

Thank you Jane.

You're right about your dog.

I hope you can pick up some simple soap and an electric rasor. Skin dryness is a real nusance. If you're bothered by open sores and itchyness, I can recommend some effective treatments that can be bought at a chemist.

The NHS is pretty much a huge lumbering beast, overloaded with so many hangers on and such. It will get you there, but may take a while.

The best advice I can give on using the NHS is to keep very calm, show everyone the respect they think they deserve and show suitable gratitude.

It's really great to have you join us here. Hope you can join in some of the discussions.

[annette]

Hi Jane

Sometimes it will help for your skin when you get hrt.
But it's good news that your skin is improving already.

I'm in another country but I hear a lot of good things about the NHS in England.
At least they have a lot of expirience.
I will cross my fingers for you for a good outcome

hugd
annette