Therapy

[Brent123]

Well, I finally got the courage to call a therapist near me. She accepts my insurance so I figured I'd give her a shot. Unfortunately, I had to leave a message because she wasn't in or whatever. Not really sure on the specifics there. So I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens when she calls back. Still not sure how to ask about transgender issues though or if she's worked with one before. Oh well, its a step for me as I see it. Hopefully it will work out.

Also, sorry if this is in the wrong place. Wasn't really sure where to put it.

[lancem27]

Good luck with it, Brent.

I will say though, tread carefully if she doesn't know much about trans issues. I brought it up with a therapist at the urgent care ward, I was there because of abuse...and I got:

"So is this emotional distress related you being a homosexual?"

[Brent123]

Yeah I was going to. I was thinking about asking her before I schedule an appointment. I feel like it would work out better that way.

[Robert Scott]

Personally I was completely honest with the therapist ... I didn't want to waste time and money talking around things.  I told her when i set up the appointment that I was looking for a therapist who could write me the letter for surgery and hrt.  I also said I didn't want one who stuck to the WPATH standards strictly ... I wanted to work together through the transition and not have to follow someone else's set standard of doing things.

My therapist has noever been the primary letter writer for surgery & hrt but she said she wasn't afraid to do it and felt comfortable enough doing it.  I had my 1st apt and loved her - she was open and honest and got right to the point. 

Your paying for a service so don't be afraid to ask for what you want.  I did an intake interview with her before our first appointment - we did it over the phone - she asked questions and I asked questions - I wanted to make sure we could work together.

[Brent123]

She called me back. I blanked. It really should be that hard to say. I'm having issues with gender identity. I have no idea why I couldn't say it. I have an appointment with her tomorrow to sort of test the waters. I have to tell her then.

Maybe it will be easier to tell her in person then it is over the phone. Those are helpful guidelines though Rob. Maybe I'll say something to that effect.

[spacial]

Really feel for you Brent. When you just can't get th words out it leaves you feeling so frustrated.

Can you write it down and show her?

If she's any good at all, she will understand that.

[Robert Scott]

She called me back. I blanked. It really should be that hard to say. I'm having issues with gender identity. I have no idea why I couldn't say it. I have an appointment with her tomorrow to sort of test the waters. I have to tell her then.

Maybe it will be easier to tell her in person then it is over the phone. Those are helpful guidelines though Rob. Maybe I'll say something to that effect.

Don't sweat it ... you will do the intake with her when you have her first apt.  It's all good.  Making the call was the hardest part .. the therapist should make you feel at ease when you start talking.  It will be ok

[lancem27]

Yeah, don't worry. Sorry if my post psyched you out. She'll ask you about all of this when you first meet her, chances are she's a nice, caring person even if she doesn't quite understand or know exactly how to help you.

[Brent123]

Thanks for the replies guys. I tend to be really hard on myself most times. I try not too, but it happens anyways.

spacial: If I have too I could always give her the letter I meant to give my parents but never did. She did ask what I wanted from the session and if it was my idea or not. I said something along the lines of "I wanted to tell my mom something but couldn't so she suggested I talk to somebody." So I think giving her the letter would work out if I couldn't say it out loud. I'll have to print off a copy just in case.

Rob: I know. I'm just stressing about everything. I've been feeling super down recently so I tend to overreact in certain situations. I'm sure it will be fine.

Caleb: I wasn't really psyched out by your post. Its just a fear of mine that she won't be as professional as she should be. I don't want somebody transphobic or even homophobic. I know she probably won't be. Its just a fear that's in the back of my mind.

So I'm crossing my fingers that I get to see her tomorrow. I have to get a referral from my doctor before I can do anything. If I don't get it, I have to wait for the end of the month to see her because she's going on vacation. I'd rather not wait that long.

[Lee]

I can understand why you're nervous.  I was pretty iffy about going before my first appointment too, but it's great having someone to talk to now.  Am I right in understanding that you need a referral from a doctor before seeing her?  Why is that?

[Brent123]

Lee, they need a referral so the place can charge my insurance. Otherwise I would have to pay full price.

[Brent123]

Well so much for that. Everything fell through. My doctor won't give me a referral.
too good to be true.

[Lee]

  Great, why won't he give one?  Also, I've forgotten if you're a student or not.  If so, the campus therapists are a very inexpensive way to see someone.  There are also people who work on a sliding scale.

[Brent123]

I go to community college. If my place has resources like that, then they are hard to find. The only counselors I know about are the ones that help you with classes.

But they won't give me one because they want me to go to the therapists under their label. Since there aren't any near me (or at least I don't think there are) I'd have to go to Maryland which is a one to two hour trip depending on traffic. I don't understand the point of the therapist taking the insurance if I can't use it outside of the actual provider.

She said that I could make an appointment to get a referral but it would take a couple days. They way she described it was pretty confusing.

Also, what is a sliding scale? I've heard of it but I'm not too sure what that means.

[Robert Scott]

I go to community college. If my place has resources like that, then they are hard to find. The only counselors I know about are the ones that help you with classes.

But they won't give me one because they want me to go to the therapists under their label. Since there aren't any near me (or at least I don't think there are) I'd have to go to Maryland which is a one to two hour trip depending on traffic. I don't understand the point of the therapist taking the insurance if I can't use it outside of the actual provider.

She said that I could make an appointment to get a referral but it would take a couple days. They way she described it was pretty confusing.

Also, what is a sliding scale? I've heard of it but I'm not too sure what that means.

Slidding scale is based on income ... good way to go as a college student...the less money you have the less you have to pay

[Brent123]

Rob, what does that mean if I don't have a job or source of income?

[Robert Scott]

Then most likely your payment will be like $5 or nothing .. depends on the place

[Brent123]

Oh that rocks. How do you know if a place works like that?
Sorry for all the questions by the way. I feel like this is all news to me.

[Robert Scott]

Just call and talk to who ever answers the phone ... it's a tax break for some places ... another good place to start is to call your local LGBT organization ... they usually have the connections to places like that. 

[Brent123]

Thanks Rob.
I might call the LGBT center in DC because it's the closest to me. Hopefully they can help.
Thanks for answering my questions. I feel a little bit better now.