My online name here is Andro, and i would like to introduce myself

I identify as androgynous with a body identity as more male and a mental identity as middle of the road female lesbian (not really butch or fem), if that makes any sense lol.
my story, and im sticking to it, is that of confusion brought on by what i assume is my age and pre-menopausal. I have always fantasized of being male, but have also always been pretty much comfortable as female. I have been a lesbian since turning 21 and having my first sexual encounter by choice, i did date and have relations with a man (i thought maybe i was confused or having attractions to females was a faze) , but found my true attraction after finding out that wasnt for me. As i have aged, my confusion has started...i find thinking about a relation with the right type of man not so scary and also wondering if i have repressed my mental identity of wanting to be male. And just where do i fit in now. I am past mid 40's and really unsure of why i am questioning all of this. I have had a lifetime depression problem, undiagnosed, but definitely there. Past that, i am a wonderfully kind and loving person, artistic, poetic and a deep thinker. My view of the world is hopeful for a day when gender is not an issue and gender fluidity and transition is viewed with support and love.
with that confusing paragraph typed, Hello all! *waves* I look forward to being part of the community