wife of a transexual

[paralegal305]

my spouse and I have been together married for 10 years. In the beginning it was tough and a rough road weve been thru job termination, discriminatioan the whole gammit. But I wouldnt change anything. we are happy we have our moments but I wouldnt trade it for the world. We both learned to compromise and and it works. Sure I miss my husband but he comes out during football., when hes mad or fixing something. I do miss walking hand and hand in public and kissing. and slow dancing but I would rather have her happy then in mental torment pretending to be something he is not. And all those wifes who dont know where to turn and are totally in denial think first before you make a hasty mistake. This was the person who you fell in love with I hope it was for that persons heart not their gender.

[Bob]

Very well stated !
thank you for your input !
...
Bob..

[Gill]

Hi There:

Yes very well said.

I too miss the holding of hands, kissing and just the male companionship.  This road we travel is full of twists and turns, ups and downs. 

Though I understand when you say:

And all those wifes who dont know where to turn and are totally in denial think first before you make a hasty mistake. This was the person who you fell in love with I hope it was for that persons heart not their gender.

But I also understand when an SO just wants to head for the hills.    That was me 5-10 years ago.  I just couldn't stand all the pressure, the hassles, the family.  I just wanted to run away from it all and be by myself.  I just didn't want to face the world.  Who knew I would be in this place today, both emotionally and mentally  I would not have believed anyone who would have told me that.  If I had left 5-10 years ago Steph and I would not be friends today rather I am sure we would have ended up as enemies.

It's hard to give advice knowing what I know now.  All I can say is this is what worked for me and this is what didn't work.  Yup this is a hard line to tow.

Yes it is better to be with a person who is at peace with themselves and with the world.  But getting there together surely is a test of patience (at times). 

Thank you for posting this.  Sharing "our side" is so important as it truly helps everyone.

Gill

[HelenW]

Just being able to know and maybe even meet couples who have endured transition and remained together is valuable for those of us who are still in the middle of the journey.

Thnx!

helen

[Peggiann]

Thank you Para for sharing with us,

I have been going through the journey with my partner, my beloved spouse for 25 and 1/2 years, just around 2 years.  I have only know her desire for the last 7 years. She/We are just in the first two years of transition and will go through the SRS as well when timing is more right as she feels it.

Tears came to my eyes as I read your post. How special it is to know it is possible. I have cherrished Gill's posts as well they are straight from the heart, no fancy coloring, just how it is. Now we have another here to share with.

I hope you understand just how special I think you are. You see for the first 4 years we knew no one that knew what we were going through. Then we found another couple. We didn't have a whole lot in common and they were very "to themselves and we felt they didn't really want to share and just be able to visit about things with out any fronts being put on.

It's been a little over a year since we found Susan's. Not many of us S.O.'s here. So I'm delighted to see your post and hope to see more.

I too miss the hand holding in public and having the husband that used to help me deside on an outfit shopping with me. Can't say as I miss the slow dancing as... sore toes no one would ever really miss them. But I understand what your saying and I agree. It's amazing the peace and harmony in the home now verses before the journey began.


Smiles,
Peggiann

[togetherwecan]

my spouse and I have been together married for 10 years. In the beginning it was tough and a rough road weve been thru job termination, discriminatioan the whole gammit. But I wouldnt change anything. we are happy we have our moments but I wouldnt trade it for the world. We both learned to compromise and and it works. Sure I miss my husband but he comes out during football., when hes mad or fixing something. I do miss walking hand and hand in public and kissing. and slow dancing but I would rather have her happy then in mental torment pretending to be something he is not. And all those wifes who dont know where to turn and are totally in denial think first before you make a hasty mistake. This was the person who you fell in love with I hope it was for that persons heart not their gender.

This post made me join this board. I am going to start a new thread and introduce myself and tell you my story...as best I can.
Thank you for posting this and thank you to the Admin for having a SO forum here. I am really glad I found it.

[Susan]

You are welcome

[Gill]

Hello togetherwecan:

I look forward to reading your intro.

Gill