Hi Chantal
I know it's scary, I started transition 30 years ago and I had to tell sooner or later, I thought maybe later was the best because I was affraid of the reactions, so I know what you're dealing with.
The point is, when you don't tell, you can't make any progress, than you stand still.
At least this was my thought about it.
One day I came to a point of no return, I had no other option, beside suicide, than transition.
My fears where very right, friends family were not too happy whit my news about belonging to the opposite gender.
There was some judgement about it, it was not right what I wanted, but it has gone too far for me, there was no way back.
After all, and this has taken some time, things worked out the good way and we did have contact again.
When you are suffering long enough for being in the wrong gender and always have to play a role, you can't take it any longer and you have to tell.
Most family members are shocked, but when you drive your car full speed to a tree, they are also shocked.
So, the choice is two bad things and than you have to choose the less worsed.
Maybe you can tell things in small pieces, you could start by saying you're not happy with your life as it is right now but you need some time to think what's wrong.
So piece by piece you tell more, for you it's easier to tell the true about you at last and people get used by the idea that there is something wrong.
When you tell that you're not quite happy, you can go to a therapist to help you, that could be a gendertherapist.
So, by not telling the whole story, you still make progress.
And a therapist can help you with your fear of telling.
It's easy to say but you did nothing wrong, you can't help it that you were born with it.
You don't commit a crime or something, you only want to be who you are and not playing the role of man because others will see you that way.
You don't have to please others by hiding yourself.
Good luck honey, go for it, you only got one life, make the best of it.
Many hugs
Annette
