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FTM and Mental Disorders

Started by PandaValentine, April 06, 2011, 11:04:22 PM

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Tad

#20
Just saying - you should tell your docs about sh** - just so they can help you deal with your problems and know the whole story before they sign you up for T. There were times when I was hallucinating, scared the f@ck out of my wits paranoid that the world was out to get me. This didn't slow down my transition process at all or my getting T. Rather, docs knew about this, they helped me get control of the other stuff with some meds and lots of therapy.. and when I made the switch to living as male deciding to accept myself.. all the problems went away.. but you know what.. totally glad I disclosed the sh** that was going on in my head - and it didn't stop me from getting T, or slow down my getting T process at all. If anything I'm pretty sure it helped me get T faster - because I was able to point and say look - since I've transitioned to full time living, my symptoms of illness have gone away. I'm not paranoid anymore,  I'm not severely depressed and suicidal, I'm not socially terrified,  I'm not hearing things.. and they were like yeah.. all good signs that this is the right switch.. and the stability stayed on being good.. and now I'm off meds.. Transitioning, and then getting T was enough to stabilize me to return me to being more then healthy (my current scores for mental health/issues in life are much better then the average person off the street now). If I hadn't taken the time to disclose other things.. I doubt I would have gotten T or transitioned by now. It built a good groundwork for myself to self acceptance and getting other issues out of the way, and also let the doctors/therapists/psychs trust me and feel good about giving me T and being comfortable with my decision.

Yeah know, I guess it depends on your doctors..
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skakid

#21
I've been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and ADD.  I was on a whole ton of meds for years and they worked ok up until recently when they just stopped working.  I'm now med-free for the first time in years, but I find myself relying on other stuff to get by.  Meds aren't for everyone, but for some people they work just fine.  As for the whole "ADD/ADHD is bullsh**" argument, I can asure you it's real.  I didn't get diagnosed until a couple years ago and I always wondered why I was never good in lecture-type classes.  Once I got some meds for it in my system, I started being able to do stuff again.  Before it was really hard for me to stick with things once I started them, but now at least I understand why I can't.
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Mr.Rainey

Quote from: tekla on April 07, 2011, 07:39:49 AM
1 in 100 men have anxiety disorders so I think that is fairly normal.

That's 1%, I don't see that as approaching 'normal' by any standard statical definitions.

In my school there about 2000 students. Lets assume that half are males (probly more since it is a tech school) so that means at least 10 guys have it. Yes, I know that is a small amount but its nice to know that there are at least 9 other guys like me.

I am perfectly normal. Just because I unfortunately suffer from panic attacks does not make me different.

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sascraps

You know what would be good? To just have a straight up directory listing doctors, hospitals, clinics, therapists, counselors, surgeons, etc. who are trans-friendly and don't give you a total hassle to get stuff done.  :-\

I've been in and out of therapy since I was about 7. Back then it was to "make me normal". But since being an adult, I've been in and out for my own depression. They have some weird ideas about diagnoses here. I've never been diagnosed as depressed, because the people at the top of the totem pole all stick together and they just don't want me to have any proof on record qualifying me for SSI. Yet they have diagnosed me every time I've gone in (and we only have one place here where you can get free counseling) as schizotypal for being an atheist, as they consider that a delusion and unusual belief here. No lie. So that's the only thing I've ever been diagnosed with. 

I've actually been wanting to go back, in some vague hope of being diagnosed GID. But since my religious views have changed (pagan) and so has my perception of myself, I can almost imagine that they would involuntarily commit me. And they do do that here for people like me who are really off from the conservative Christian norm.  ::)

Personally though, I think I could be low on the bipolar spectrum. I do have bouts of severe depression as well as hyper craziness, but not so often and not nearly as bad as true bipolars. I definitely have social anxiety and am often nervous around people or outdoors in general, when there's potential that someone could be watching me and thinking nasty, derogatory things about me. 
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Jeh

I agree with Tad. I've been diagnosed Bipolar I, and if I hadn't told my doctors about it I would have been ok for a while, but in the long term I'd be much worse off. When I knew I wanted to transition, I was completely honest about my bipolar - where I'd been, and how much better I'd been doing lately, because I was in contact with a doctor who helped me bring it under control. It didn't affect the endo's decision to put me on T, because I was being honest and responsible about how I was doing.

I've read accounts of T really messing with non-bipolar people's moods. I would not want to go on T without the support of a doctor who knew I was bipolar.
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Sharky

Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on April 07, 2011, 05:52:44 AM
I was hospitalized as a 12 yr old for wearing womens clothes. I was also using drugs at that time and was the middle child of 7 and had a dad who drank heavy and a mom who worked to support us. I was put back in for another 4 months a yr later and then ran away from home but that was the hippy generation so it was safe and i went to the redwood forest in N Calif where its still hippies but many sell pot and do hard drugs. The point i am getting at is that for me after puberty life became a living hell. I knew cities would be bad for me so i went to rural areas. The one thing that did help me and still helps me is working hard. It wears me out and allows me to get a good sleep. However, i was never good at working for a company so i did lots of volunteer work for a place to stay on farms etc. To this day that is my therapy. However after joining the military and making it 7 months and then not having a job for 30 yrs the Veteran administration gave me a pension and declared me BiPolar. I tried meds but they made me eat and get more depressed. Oh yea i did have GRS mtf which got rid of testosterone and helped me think clearer because i no longer had that sex drive. I can't say what T does to FTM's or what your sex drive was before or will be after or if that is even an issue with you but it was with me. Mine was so bad it helped me mentally to decide i was TS and to get GRS. Anyway life has improved much after GRS and the only thing that helps me have any bit or normality is working hard. I have done this in the past when i opened up trans homes for both FTMs and MTFs in minn and NY. These days i do it myself as either a volunteer at different intentional communities and today i started my own intentional community as i am trying to help veterans but so far i am the only one here. i think the world out there knows i am mental and so people don't want to come here. I am thinking of switching to Trans people and espcially those with problems dealing with society and the public since i am out here in rural central Pa with lots of farms and amish and state forest. Anyway hard work that makes me sweat and makes me tired helps me to pass the days. Have any of you ever tried some form of hard work? Oh as a teen i use to dig underground forts and make treehouses by myself which was doing my own thing and it was hard work and it kept me sane but when regular kids came by they always messed it up for me as i tried to fit in with them but they took over and made my life hell. Have any of you ever tried some form of hard work as therapy for your mental issues???

Ever think about writing a book? Seriously, sounds like you've lead an interesting life and would have some good and inspirational stories to tell. Years ago my mom signed me up for this summer program where you go and work at a horse stable. It was a great distraction from my problems. Now I work and I am a full time student. I try to distract myself and set hard to reach goals, like getting straight A's.  I used to dig holes when I was a kid too. I would just try to dig the deepest hole I could until night.  My grandparents always made me fill it in before night fall. In case someone fell in, which would be very unlikely. I would always be climbing trees too.
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Amazon D

Quote from: Sharky on April 07, 2011, 07:51:03 PM
Ever think about writing a book? Seriously, sounds like you've lead an interesting life and would have some good and inspirational stories to tell. Years ago my mom signed me up for this summer program where you go and work at a horse stable. It was a great distraction from my problems. Now I work and I am a full time student. I try to distract myself and set hard to reach goals, like getting straight A's.  I used to dig holes when I was a kid too. I would just try to dig the deepest hole I could until night.  My grandparents always made me fill it in before night fall. In case someone fell in, which would be very unlikely. I would always be climbing trees too.

Many people have told me i should write a book of my life, but i am too busy living it. I hope one day before i get too old someone shares my surroundings and lets me tell them the many many stories and they write the book. it sure would be a best seller and have so many variations from making the oxygen president Nixon would breathe to creating a few communes in 60's and 70's  to building and running recovery homes for addicts for 13 yrs to going to college after only finishing 8th grade and getting a 3.72 gpa and acceptence into medical school which then my eyes went bad plus at least 8 stints in mental hospitals from 12 yrs old in 60's to 2000 in a VA hospital to hitchhiking the USA for many yrs and driving a RV for many yrs to shooting crossbows across the rio grande and hanging wires across it bring pot across in 74 to going to woodstock and watkinsglen alman brothers grateful dead and band and 600,000 people and hog farm from vermont to strawberry fields fest to taking over 2000 hits of LSD by age 12 to building 6 green homes and 6 green apartment buildings in Phila burbs = super energy efficient to devoloping and buying and preserving a 200 acre farm in virginia to getting married and divorced 20 days later to have two sons one i haven't seen since he was 7 and the other first as Danielle and then as Danie to living with different religous communities to being a caregiver to two 80 plus yr old women one who is my mom where we are at now living at and restoring an old 1820's home with no plumbing in central pa with 6 acres. Yes all winter we have used a chamber pot. soon i start rebuilding an old log house.
PS: I am not sharing the interesting stuff here either  :-X  thats for the book.
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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