But you were so pretty!

[Heath]

But I have gotten the .. (while touching my face) 'Oh please don't grow a beard! Your face is REALLY SOFT"

I absolutely ABHOR when this happens to me! Usually total strangers too (men have a tendency to be more TOUCHY towards my body).  They'll go for my face or caress my shoulders.  It's ->-bleeped-<-ing gross and creepy; what makes them think they have the right to DO that?  Eventually I just got so sick of it and my mom noticed how depressed I was and so when I told her what was up, she taught me some self-defense moves I can use the next time some man takes it upon himself to put his hands anywhere on my body while "complimenting" me.

Women aren't necessarily excused here either....while I've yet to have ANY woman touch me while making comments, I still get those comments. Mainly from straight and bisexual women....lesbians I've noticed tend to either leave me alone or curiously ask me questions, which I'm totally cool with.

I had a friend tell me that maybe people say things like that to me because they think in some way they're just trying to be nice or compliment me.  While that's a possibility, I highly doubt it because it seems (from my perspective) as though they're horrified I'll no longer be a "->-bleeped-<-able" woman who is "attractive" and they have to end up questioning their own sexuality.  So, as a result of their insecurities they end up thinking they can actually change my mind.

I got so sick of it that as an April Fools Day joke this month I posted a status update on facebook saying the following:

"After being told for the 200th time how much of a beautiful woman I am I decided that I'm actually a female after all. Testosterone be damned! Someone hand me a dress..."

Luckily for me, most of my friends caught on to the fact it was a prank.  Because that exemplifies just how LUDICROUS it is to me!

[asher]

@ Asher; Do you have a link to that test?

Haha, yep! http://apps.atamagroup.com/face/ It's pretty fun to do

[420NEKO]

Haha, yep! http://apps.atamagroup.com/face/ It's pretty fun to do

Awesome! Thank you!

[Staci3336]

Sorry for posting here,, but I had to chime in.. When I came out to my friends and family all I kept hearing was "But your such a good looking young man!" or "its always the good looking ones that are gay" and I was not gay from a gentic standpoint, or the best one was "What a Waste"
Made me feel great yeah rite!

[Espenoah]

I haven't gotten the, "You're such a pretty girl," yet, but I have gotten, "Your hair was so pretty long!" Uhm, no. I looked like a mix between a junkie and a bird's nest. I've also had, "I'll put some makeup on you for you!" and "We can go shopping for cute clothes!" which is equally ridiculous. This is by people who have known me since elementary school. They should know by now that "cute" and "girly" is NOT my style.

It comes across to me as if they pity me. Like they assume that since I don't dress feminine enough that I have low self esteem. Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but my self esteem is high enough to be classified as egotistical. Please leave me alone.

[N.Chaos]

Huh...I'm a friggin' weirdo, lol. Once again, I've got the opposite. Back when I was still trying to be girlie, I had a lot of people tell me "Well yeah, you technically look okay in a dress, but you'd make a much better man". In high school even, there was a rash of "straight" girls that developed these creepy crush/obsessions on me for no discernible reason. Actually, always kinda made me happy though.

The ONLY person who's ever given me anything along the "you'd be pretty" lines is a friend of mine who went on a "it's wrong to get your chest fixed because boobs are awesome" rant which was promptly, and loudly, ended.

[nicks]

I'll have you know, I'm the sexiest 27 year old man who looks like a 16 year old boy you've ever met.  So there.

GOLD!!! 

I think a lot of us can certainly relate to this post. I remember my Dad (who is not a man of many words) telling my mother (whom both dislike each other immensly) that I was the weed of the family who had blossumed into a beautiful flower. By weed he was referring to the fact that I had aways been a daggy tom boy, and all of a sudden I was becoming a lady. I was around 16-17 when I tried to conform with society and try the whole make up and dresses bullcrap, going to the high school formal etc. Once I came out my sister used to tell me I was going to be an ugly boy because I was such a beautiful girl, hahaha. I just look back and we all laugh together. I have a very supportive family (even if it may not sound like it haha), I am very lucky.

Now I am just a scrawny young bloke with really pretty eyes   

[onep1ece7]

there is a thread on the "just for us" section that showcases how many of us were good looking before transition, also shows that we all look really good after transition too

[Squirrel698]

I use to get this line all the time as well. 

It was said in the assumption that I was transitioning in a effort to get more people to sleep with me?  I think or whatever nonsense is going through people's head which I can not attest too.   

Transitioning had nothing to do with making myself more attractive one way or another.  It is all about feeling more comfortable in my own skin, which I am completely entitled too. 

I was surprised really recently I was up at a gay pride function and I was talking to a guy and mentioned that I was trans and he said "Are you sure? You're gorgeous; maybe you just want to get with pretty gay guys." I was so infuriated and hurt.

I'm really sorry this happened to you.  This isn't really what this thread is about but one thing you should understand is how cruel gay men can be.  Most especially with anyone they consider a threat.  Which clearly he did in this case.  If you are going to be in that world you need to toughen up and learn to give it back just as hard as it is dealt. 

Yeah I may be generalizing a bit but I've hung out with both gay men and straight men.  The straight guys tease each other a bit but that's it.  The gay men rip each other to shreds with their claws.  It's not personal, it's just the pecking order. 

In the situation you outlined above a good come back would have been, "It seems that leaves you out then.  If you need me I'll be over there with all guys that don't even notice you.  Okay, bye bye."  Delivery of course is also vitally important.  Say it more like you are teasing than you are actually angry.  Throwing in a few off handed gestures wouldn't hurt either.

[Elijah3291]

I actually havent had anyone tell me that yet, luckily cause I know it would piss me off, I was a pretty average, not attractive, but not ugly girl, but I feel like an average, slightly attractive guy.

[asher]

I use to get this line all the time as well. 

It was said in the assumption that I was transitioning in a effort to get more people to sleep with me?  I think or whatever nonsense is going through people's head which I can not attest too.   

Transitioning had nothing to do with making myself more attractive one way or another.  It is all about feeling more comfortable in my own skin, which I am completely entitled too. 

I'm really sorry this happened to you.  This isn't really what this thread is about but one thing you should understand is how cruel gay men can be.  Most especially with anyone they consider a threat.  Which clearly he did in this case.  If you are going to be in that world you need to toughen up and learn to give it back just as hard as it is dealt. 

Yeah I may be generalizing a bit but I've hung out with both gay men and straight men.  The straight guys tease each other a bit but that's it.  The gay men rip each other to shreds with their claws.  It's not personal, it's just the pecking order. 

In the situation you outlined above a good come back would have been, "It seems that leaves you out then.  If you need me I'll be over there with all guys that don't even notice you.  Okay, bye bye."  Delivery of course is also vitally important.  Say it more like you are teasing than you are actually angry.  Throwing in a few off handed gestures wouldn't hurt either.

This is not related to the thread but I had to reply to this because...
Wow, I have a lot of really close guy friends, and all of them are gay. I don't mean a couple, I have, and have had, many. I've had a lot of straight guy friends too over the years and I have yet to see an example of what you just said. Every single gay guy I know is extremely nice and friendly and has reacted to my coming out amazingly well. Granted there are some bitchy guys but the straight guys I know are the ones who rip each other to shreds... is this a generational thing or something? Or maybe regional... every gender and orientation has their jerks and nice people though of course but this statement kind of surprised me. And I don't know... this kind of seems more like it would be related to specific social circles than gender and orientation...

[Squirrel698]

This is not related to the thread but I had to reply to this because...
Wow, I have a lot of really close guy friends, and all of them are gay. I don't mean a couple, I have, and have had, many. I've had a lot of straight guy friends too over the years and I have yet to see an example of what you just said. Every single gay guy I know is extremely nice and friendly and has reacted to my coming out amazingly well. Granted there are some bitchy guys but the straight guys I know are the ones who rip each other to shreds... is this a generational thing or something? Or maybe regional... every gender and orientation has their jerks and nice people though of course but this statement kind of surprised me. And I don't know... this kind of seems more like it would be related to specific social circles than gender and orientation...

Asher, do you watch Modern Family?  There was a recent episode called 'Boys Night' where the gay couple went out with friends and spent the evening just insulting and laughing at each other.  That's what I mean when I talk about 'claws'.  I could have chosen words better because I didn't want to say 'mean spirited'.  Only just a lot of pecking at and teasing each other.  In a sort of 'cock of the walk' way. 

Also you have to consider if the gay guys you are referring to think of you as one of them or not.  They will behave differently depending on how they view you.  However you are right in the end it has more to do with the people involved than it does in their orientation.  I've just observed more 'one upping' with gay men than others but that is just my experience and my experience alone.

[meh]

I also got ID'd at the mall a couple weeks ago ... to make sure I was over 18 and allowed to be there during those hours.  Really?  REALLY? ... I have 4 visible face piercings ... and visible tattoos ... I know high schoolers are getting piercings and such now but DAMN ... seriously.  Ugh.

LOL same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I'm 28 btw.

[sneakersjay]

Three years into transition and this is now my mother's favorite line.

Just because I looked pretty and feminine she thinks I could not (should not) be trans.  Well I was a good actor, playing a part I didn't want to play, because I thought I had no choice.

This is the REAL ME, who I always was, hidden behind a phony facade.  Deal with it.

And I'm a better looking man IMO.


Jay

[Danacee]

One lesson of this thread (and my own life); family is going to see what it wants and it's not likely to have any relevance to reality. My entire experience before transition around non family was that of the tall girl who wore boys clothing; I couldn't even go into public bathrooms without risking being chased out as a troublemaker by old men. Yet even into my 20s I was so handsome to my mother and grandparents. 

[Arch]

They imply that I'm not going to be attractive if I transition.

Having seen your picture, I can only say that you are a very attractive boy and will likely be a damned attractive man. But then, you're smart and articulate. That makes people even more good-looking to me.

[Logan]

I absolutely ABHOR when this happens to me! Usually total strangers too (men have a tendency to be more TOUCHY towards my body).  They'll go for my face or caress my shoulders.  It's ->-bleeped-<-ing gross and creepy; what makes them think they have the right to DO that?  Eventually I just got so sick of it and my mom noticed how depressed I was and so when I told her what was up, she taught me some self-defense moves I can use the next time some man takes it upon himself to put his hands anywhere on my body while "complimenting" me.

Women aren't necessarily excused here either....while I've yet to have ANY woman touch me while making comments, I still get those comments. Mainly from straight and bisexual women....lesbians I've noticed tend to either leave me alone or curiously ask me questions, which I'm totally cool with.

I had a friend tell me that maybe people say things like that to me because they think in some way they're just trying to be nice or compliment me.  While that's a possibility, I highly doubt it because it seems (from my perspective) as though they're horrified I'll no longer be a "->-bleeped-<-able" woman who is "attractive" and they have to end up questioning their own sexuality.  So, as a result of their insecurities they end up thinking they can actually change my mind.

I got so sick of it that as an April Fools Day joke this month I posted a status update on facebook saying the following:

"After being told for the 200th time how much of a beautiful woman I am I decided that I'm actually a female after all. Testosterone be damned! Someone hand me a dress..."

Luckily for me, most of my friends caught on to the fact it was a prank.  Because that exemplifies just how LUDICROUS it is to me!

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  The ONLY guys that touch me are my friends.  I apparently give off the 'don't touch me or I'll break your face' vibe very well.  And ... I'm still unsure if they were using the excuse of not wanting me to grow a beard as an excuse to just touch my face.  Whatever.  They weren't ugly girls.  One was rather hot.  Hahaha.

And actually, the majority of men that touch me, are gay men.  And it's usually an 'OMFGIHAVENTSEENYOUINFOREVER' hug.

[nico_nico]

I get this reaction so much from my mom since my coming out to her. "You are such a pretty girl why would you want to change that?" Well for one I don't feel 'pretty' because I am a girl and instead feel self-conscious out of my mind. I understand now that she's trying her hardest to keep her 'little girl' but frankly I'm getting quite frustrated about it.

[jmaxley]

I had some idiotic woman a few months ago loudly tell a friend of hers, "Such a pretty face.  And she wants to mess that up by becoming a man."  I almost busted out laughing...I've never been in danger of being what could be called pretty and I think that's the first and only time anyone's ever accused me of being pretty.  Though I think I make a decent-looking guy.

[Megan Joanne]

I got that too, "but why would you want to change yourself like that, you're such a handsome young man." "Uh, I don't care, nor do I think so, and well, once I start going through the changes I'll make an even prettier young lady." I hated myself then, and being called handsome was the last thing I wanted to hear.