But you were so pretty!

[Muddy]

I'm sure there are multiple threads with this general sentiment already, but meh.

This pisses me off to no end.  I got it when I first started coming out and when I first started transitioning.  The "but you're such a pretty girl, why would you want to change that" crap.  As infuriating as it was then, I find it even more aggravating almost a year into transitioning.

Not only does it incorrectly assume that I was ever female [umm, nope, never was, thanks], but it also implies that being attractive should be a huge priority for someone, AND that I'm somehow unattractive now.

I'll have you know, I'm the sexiest 27 year old man who looks like a 16 year old boy you've ever met.  So there.

Also infuriating?  People who continue to include me in those stupid Facebook "change your status to this secret girl messages".  Umm, hi? 

I'm done whining now.

[Logan]

Hahaha. I've only gotten that from ONE friend.  But I have gotten the .. (while touching my face) 'Oh please don't grow a beard! Your face is REALLY SOFT" ... uh ... yeah ... it's soft ... because I shaved right before I came to the bar .. (so no it's not a thick dark beard ... but I grow a crazy thick and long amount of peach fuzz, so I shave, at least weekly, if not more) aaaand because I know about moisturizer.  Ha.  I'm 26 ... and last summer I went with my little sisters school to a water park (she's 12 now) ... some one asked her if I was her older brother ... and then some kids asked me if I went to there school (which granted is 6-12th in the same building).  I also got ID'd at the mall a couple weeks ago ... to make sure I was over 18 and allowed to be there during those hours.  Really?  REALLY? ... I have 4 visible face piercings ... and visible tattoos ... I know high schoolers are getting piercings and such now but DAMN ... seriously.  Ugh.

[Devin87]

I'm not really out yet, so I haven't gotten that, but I did recently change my name on Facebook and I've gotten several people telling me they like my girl name better.  Uggh.  And I do hate getting those "post this secret girl message" things on Facebook even though I shouldn't complain about it because I'm not out.  I probably hate it because they always seem to word those things in a way that would have made me sick to my stomach even when I thought I was perfectly happy being female (I've always hated being called "ladies" and talking about putting one over on men).  Plus I've always thought chain letters were stupid and this is just a new version of a chain letter...

[owl]

I hate being told "you were so pretty!" i get that alot and i want to slap them! 
its like, NO ONE ASKED YOU!!

[onep1ece7]

well I plan to say but I will be a handsome guy too....I haven't transitioned yet and I get the ur a pretty girl thing quite a bit....u guys all look so handsome...looks arent everything but in my mind im thinking, pretty as a "girl" means that those looks will translate to handsome as a guy once the T kicks in....

[Logan]

My theory on that one is ... .. well ... just look at some of the famous 'GORGEOUS' actors out there ... Johnny Depp ... Orlando Bloom ... they all look pretty frickin feminine to me ... and everyone pretty well swoons over them ... I'm set.  LOL

[onep1ece7]

yeah where do you think the term "pretty boy" came from...i plan to be a pretty boy too some day

[FinnBear]

I'm pre-everything but out to all my friends and family and I get this all the time. They act like I could have chosen my genetics of something and therefore I chose to look "pretty" and then decided to change it up again. It really infuriates me. Not to mention they're always trying to give me make overs or get me to go to the mall. I was surprised really recently I was up at a gay pride function and I was talking to a guy and mentioned that I was trans and he said "Are you sure? You're gorgeous; maybe you just want to get with pretty gay guys." I was so infuriated and hurt.

[Alex201]

I feel you...my mom was going through a bunch of old photos the other day...saying things like "you were so pretty" and begging me to come and look at them...hoping it would change my mind. Yeah, no thanks, mom.

[Kohitsu]

My dad once told me that I look so pretty as a girl and that he didn't understand why I'd want to be a man. Are you kidding me?! I'm an ugly girl, I look so much more handsome as a man! (In hindsight, I think what someone deems "attractive" is from their own perspective. What one person thinks is attractive, the other can think it's unattractive just as easily).

[quinn]

I'm pre-everything, and my friend keeps asking me why I want to transition, he says stuff like "but you're a hot girl, why don't you like your body?" I think the next time he says that I'll say "Even though I don't look like it right now, I'm a guy. If you're attracted to me, you must be gay." Maybe that will shut him up! 

[Silver]

Ah, I remember that. I still have my mother's comments about how disappointed she is that I'll grow facial hair because she doesn't like facial hair or whatever.

They imply that I'm not going to be attractive if I transition. There's no significant reason why I wouldn't be lol. Also, they imply that how pretty I am should matter more than whatever internal conflicts I am facing. It makes me feel slighted to hear it.

People are just really weird about stuff like this. They can't put themselves in our shoes, I guess so they just blindly stab for negative things to say.

I'll have you know, I'm the sexiest 27 year old man who looks like a 16 year old boy you've ever met.  So there.

Lol.

[Fate]

imo you guys look cute
there are lots of us out there that prefer younger men 

but you guys got the best of both, cant ask for more
smarter, calmer, and more life experience factor; but with all the zest and that adorable baby face
just want to give them lots of hugs

[asher]

My dad once told me that I look so pretty as a girl and that he didn't understand why I'd want to be a man. Are you kidding me?! I'm an ugly girl, I look so much more handsome as a man! (In hindsight, I think what someone deems "attractive" is from their own perspective. What one person thinks is attractive, the other can think it's unattractive just as easily).

I actually took this 'facial attractiveness' test where you put certain points on your face to determine proportions and the machine analyzes it for you, and it said I was a better looking dude, hahahaha.

I haven't come out to any family who would say this yet, but I KNOW it will probably be the first thing most of them say, since it has been the first thing out of all their mouths since I've been cutting my hair short (every time, 'but you look SO pretty with long hair and girly!') lol. Mkay, they are all SERIOUSLY shallow if that is what they think would 'change your mind'.

[Michael Joseph]

Ive gotten that "but your so pretty as a girl" by so many people. no, i was never a girl, and why does it matter. makes me angry too.

[420NEKO]

When I came out to my mom, that's the first thing she said. =/ "You're so pretty! You'll be an ugly boy!"

I've always thought I was ugly, and just recently started to see myself as attractive, but now I'm thinking that I will be an ugly guy... Of course, it still doesn't change my mind. =p

Ah, and my brother kept telling me all these comments that guys would say about me when I wasn't there, but he quit when I made it clear that I was serious about transitioning.


@ Asher; Do you have a link to that test?

[Shaun]

man, i just don't respond to that anymore. a friend tried to convince me not to transition, saying i was such a pretty girl and if i were a boy, i'd be ugly.
well what do you know, several months into my social transitioning and people think i'm a cute guy. :V

[Anon]

I hate that.. as if we should all be so shallow to give up our comfort and mental well-being simply for the sake of being physically pleasing to another person.

In my experience, hot girls make damn sexy boys.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Lol for me I'd take it as a compliment if it was reversed but I guess it's different for other people, especially a guy XP

[Tad]

Lol, my dad told me he thought I was a sexy female (bartering when I came out I think)... anyhow I looked like an man in a dress. Def not sexy, though I make a decent looking guy.. haha. Still not cool words to hear.