Do random things trigger your dysphoria?

[Alex201]

My dysphoria is triggerered over the most random things....a certain song...a conversation......its weird...I was just listening to a song and I ended up in tears because it triggererd my dysphoria...

I cant listen to songs about sex because it reminds me of what I'll never have and how my body is wrong....and the mechanics of it are all wrong.

I cant watch certain porn because it triggers my dysphoria and I end up in frustrated tears.

Anyone relate?

[GentlemanRDP]

Same here. I definitely know how you feel.

For me, it's usually nothing too random, it's usually just things related to gender.

Seeing guys hanging out together in groups at bars or clubs particularly bothers me, because I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'll never be treated like a 'normal' guy. I end up feeling very insecure in what little masculinity I have because I'm really damned flamboyant for a straight guy.

Of course, whenever I do cry, it only makes my dysphoria that much worse.

[FebruaryFalls]

Lately it's been this girl I go to university with. I think she's unbelievably gorgeous but all I can think about is that I'd never have a chance with her because I'm not biologically male and it really bums me out. -_-

[Devin87]

Well besides the usually being treated like a girl and called one of the girls and stuff like that, lately certain scenes in TV shows, movies, books, etc have really been triggering it.  Seeing other people just acting like guys and realizing I'll probably never be able to do that just sucks.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Everything triggers my dysphoria.

I thought I was the only one who was triggered by porn, but I see not.

Pretty much anything, random things, can remind me of what I'll never have, causing me to go into a depressive/semi suicidal state at the drop of a hat.

Today, it got to the point that my boss asked what was wrong and I said, "I want to kill myself." TO MY BOSS. And he asked why, and I said, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." (I'm stealth there)

It's a good thing he's told me stories of trying to off himself to me and is a generally all around cool person. Any normal boss would've freaked out at this.

[ty.to.the.man]

yeah a lot of things trigger my dysphoria. all so random. my brother triggers my dysphoria a lot also.

[Devyn]

Everything triggers my dysphoria.

I thought I was the only one who was triggered by porn, but I see not.

Pretty much anything, random things, can remind me of what I'll never have, causing me to go into a depressive/semi suicidal state at the drop of a hat

Same.

[Espenoah]

Lately one of the biggest triggering things is playing games online with friends. Like, multiplayer online games. I can play them alone just fine, but as soon as real life friends join, I get paranoid that they're going to ruin my whole identity by saying the wrong pronoun. Once a real life friend says a wrong pronoun, everyone online knows the truth.

And it's not that I even care what the other players see me as. It just gets me paranoid that my whole identity is invalid, that I'm fake. And then it leads me to being depressed that I couldn't just be male in the first place...

Maybe that's why I like Susan's so much. None of the friends who would say the wrong thing are around and everyone knows what to call me.

[Michael Joseph]

yea its usually just random things. but almost every morning when i wake up, before i get my binder on, that triggers it. id sleep in my binders if that wouldnt ware them out faster

[tekla]

I'm having trouble seeing porn as being random, as porn is focused on genitals pretty much 100%.

[Squirrel698]

Not all porn is one in the same.  Some people could consider an erotic story 'porn' for example.  Then there  are the drawings of shōnen-ai or yaoi where the genitals are often blurred out.  People have different turn ons to different types of things.

For the most part I don't have much disphoria on a day to day basis.  Recently when I've come to this message board I've had a bit.  Just because I am so set into my life as a male that I'm almost to the point I can forget.  Then I stop by here and remember that it really isn't that simple at all. 

My worst moments are when I have to deal with my prosthetic.  Taking it off, cleaning it, reapplying the glue, putting it back on, letting it all dry.  Though that is hardly random as it is directly related to the ways my body is not quite right.

     

[N.Chaos]

Thinking about summer.
Realizing that I probably won't be able to go swimming anytime soon, unless one of my friends wins the lottery and buys their own pool. Or unless that ftm swimsuit is some kind of miracle.

Not exactly random, but being in the shower with B. Seeing his chest and all the rest, and then realizing that if I'm shirtless I can't drop my arms because I'm too busy covering my chest, even with someone I trust with everything, pisses me off and depresses the living hell out of me.

And kids. Knowing I'll never have my own kid. I want a son so bad, ever since I met my girlfriend's nephew 8 years ago and practically helped raise the kid, I've wanted a son and it kills me to know I'll probably never have one, and they'll never really be "my" kid.