Embarrased when trying to be of support...

[wannalivethetruth]

So im sitting in the car. my friend, who happens to be a 40 mtf..minus hrt, decideds to dress up in public. Me, i dress andro right now. Im embarassed of what people think of me being with her. Were in the town i live in, but im not ready to come out like that. I hate attention. is it wrong of me to feel this way? Its nothing towards her..just so happens shes moving so fast witheverthing, when ive been outsince 09. She hasnt at all. I feel sort of outted in a way as if, im exploited. Which im really a nice person..but i just want to live a normall life..without all that attention..

[Corey]

It's perfectly normal for you to feel uncomfortable around someone like that, especially if they're not passable. However I can't give you much advice on the situation.

[spacial]

I can understand your situation Ros. But I'm asking myself why your friend has done this, if they know it makes you uncomfortable.

[wannalivethetruth]

Well their not even on hormones nd certainly no passable.. Its so awkawrd...

[MarinaM]

Everyone moves at their own pace. You can't really knock someone for trying (she is at least trying, right?).

I understand your concern, but I wouldn't care- come as you are. We may have our own hang ups about certain presentation related things, but if a sister wants to just dive right in, more power to her.

[missjanealice]

Personally I don't care if I pass or not, I am who I am don't like me there is the door. But I also try not to make my loved ones uncomfortable. I dress more androgynous at family events as I know they are coming to grips with this at a much slower pace then I am.

My only advice is to be honest and have a chat with her, any friend worth having can work through this.

[wannalivethetruth]

Im not trying to down her or anything. i feel what shes doing is so brave! She is far from passing at this point and many people gave a lot of looks...but she still was her. Thats why i didnt say nothing. Shes amazing person for that..thats why i tried to keep distant from make her feel unvomfty just because i was.

[Amy1177]

Hi Rose,

Always keep in mind that you don't have to go out with her if you are really not ready to.  The universe has no desire for us to be perpetually unhappy.  Though singular events such as yours are great to learn from don't continually sacrifice yourself to excessive stress for someone  else.  There is nothing to gain from that. 

But if you do want to go out with remember that uncomfortable feeling that you have now will not last forever.  After you got home the uncomfortable situation was over.  Vent to yourself for a couple of minutes and just get it the aggrivation out and focus your energy on more positive things.  Then next time you go out with her it may not bother you as much and if it still does consider if you are going out with her for you or for her.