My mom was trying to tell me how I feel.

[Devyn]

This bothered me. I decided to talk to her about my gender problems today, because I wanted to help her understand.

I  said that, when I was really young, I knew that I was physically a girl, and because of this, I didn't try to be a boy. I had the mentality of: why try. But then my feelings got worse as I got older.

I didn't tell her about trying to cut my boobs off when I was in middle school, or anything like that. I just tried explaining that I felt wrong and when I was younger and what not.

She told me that I never felt this way (she gave the example of when I started my period. I was calm about it and didn't freak out about it like "people in my situation would"). She said there were no signs, and that I'm too feminine-looking to be trans because she believes that male-to-females already look feminine and female-to-males already look masculine.

She said understands it if, for example, a female-to-male has always dressed masculine and tried looking like a guy, and was a lesbian and lived like a man. I think she's getting trans and gay confused.

Maybe I should tell her all of the things that I tried to do. I guess she doesn't remember that time I cried and screamed that I hated my boobs and wanted them gone, and I was crying because she acknowledged them.

Ugh. It's just...I'll tell her tomorrow when she's driving me to my therapy session. I'm just frustrated.

[Corey]

Maybe you should simply tell her that she's wrong and that you know how you feel. It seems to be the easiest way and requires little explanation. She can't argue that, unless she starts saying it's just a stage or that you're confused. Even then, if you keep fighting towards it, she will eventually realize that you're truly a transsexual and there's nothing she can do about it.

[Anon]

I agree with Corey, just straight up tell her she's wrong. Showing her/quoting a lot of proven medical facts about transsexualism whenever she argues might also help, if she's not the fanatic religious type. My mom went through this phase as well, parents sometimes think they know 100% everything about their kid. She got over it eventually as I continued to transition and be myself without paying her doubts any attention.

[Amy1177]

There are only two people in all the Universe that know how you feel.  That is you and God.

[nico_nico]

I'm not quite sure what advice I can add but I feel like our situations are so similar. I too told my mother my feelings and at once she denied it saying I never showed any signs of being 'a male'. Again I'm not sure what I can say since I talked to my mother about it, told her of my past experiences, broke down the 'science' of it all, and even have the support of my therapist and friends.
All I can really say, I guess, is that it takes time. For me that's a hard thing to grasp because I'm so impatient but yeah, keep fighting for it like bring it up casually and not let it start into an argument. I've found that once I she starts yelling, I start yelling, and no one listens.

[PandaValentine]

I wish that part were true about us already looking masculine, but definitely was never my case, unfortunately.

Your mum seems to be trying to put things in neat little boxes so she doesn't have to open her mind. Look how many biological guys look feminine and don't want to be women, or how many women look masculine but don't want to be men. Some mtfs even have to get facial surgery to feminize their appearance. We all look gender neutral as children (unless we are very feminine/masculine acting) but when hormones hit we don't all stay that way.

I don't think you need to tell her your darkest times to understand because who knows, she may think your just making it up. That's why with my mum I try to keep things sweet and simple. I've given her the chance to read books from the library on transgender people but she's never done it. Some people just don't want to learn. Some people don't want to face reality, and pretend.

It's unfortunate but the main exposure right now that trans people get in media is usually trans children, who quite obviously HATE their gender. We just were never as OUT as they were. They are real brave kids though!

It's like gays portrayed in the media, made out to have a limp wrist, talk with a lisp and be very feminine but we all know that's not all that's out there. There's no guide for parents to read about how to identify if your child was trans. Also there are feminine boys out there which everyone seems to forget about.

We're all different, you can try and help your mum understand or just hope she gets it with time.  I know it can be frustrating though. My mum still doesn't get it, it's been two years. But I still hope that later in my transition she can see it's not some phase. Even though I've been on T almost a year. :|

[Joelene9]

Devyn,
  Your mom is being a mom.  My mom had those thoughts as well. Be she did know the difference between Christine Jorgenson and a gay person.  Give her time.
  Joelene.

[justmeinoz]

Maybe it's time to tell her you tried a DIY mastectomy after all. 

[lauren3]

Keep trying hun. It'll take time. Every parent is different and will react differently.

As someone said before - parents often like to feel like they know their child best.

Is this the first time you've approached your Mum about your gender issues? I can imagine how frustrating it would be to be told you're not who you know you are!