Honestly, I see machismo and shows of stereotypical masculinity as just that; a stereotype that has little to do with what I think matters when it comes to being a man. Crying, to me, is not a sign of weakness nearly so much as other things like lying, bigotry, sexism, bullying, and otherwise not standing up for those who need it or trying to be controlling in all situations when it isn't warranted. Personally, I think men that try to control women or are threatened by a woman working or earning more than them are usually insecure and compensating. 'Traditional values' are harmful to men and women, on principle they create inequality and resentment. The human condition is to be scared, but I've always viewed the true cowards as those who spend so much time posturing and trying to convince others (and themselves) that they are not, and criticizing those who don't meet certain arbitrary standards for masculinity. That's not being a man, that's being a fake.
I don't care about being perceived as tough, I know I can handle myself if the situation calls for it and all peaceful mediation fails. I also don't care about being thought of/seen as 'a ->-bleeped-<-', again, that's an archaic notion that gay men by default aren't masculine. I'm a strong person, in many ways, but I don't care if that's not obvious to those who don't know me well; to most, I'm a well meaning goof who's always cracking jokes. I've got a fairly dominant personality, but above all I believe in fairness. I love strong women, and I love working along side them and under them. I know when I'm beaten in leadership ability and experience, and I'd never try to one-up or overtake anyone who's earned their position over me.
Masculinity is very much YMMV of course, but I grew up with a father who had some very traditional notions of masculinity, so I abhor them. He was an abusive alcoholic, and was entirely dependent on my mother for guidance and emotional security. When she was young she wanted to be a housewife, but once her kids were in school it wasn't enough and she needed to do something for her; to have her own life and career, (as women should be encouraged to believe they deserve and are entitled to). My dad, however, couldn't handle that, became increasingly emotionally abusive to her, all while being the sole bread winner and resenting the hell out of everyone for it.
My dad is still homophobic, racist, slightly sexist, and angry at the world. Because I was living as a heterosexual female with a boyfriend for 6 years, I will forever be just 'a ->-bleeped-<-' to him, but I'm positive that as I am now I am already more of a man than he'll ever be. I take responsibility for my actions, and I blame no one else for my failings. So, no, my masculinity doesn't involve subjugating women to make me feel better about myself or the lack of control in my life( I'm speaking about my experiences with men like this, not you Wolf Man).
I do not feel that women need to be 'taken care of', many young women today are a lot more educated and independent than young men, which I find remarkable when the media does everything it can to convince women their worth is mostly or solely based on their appearance. I'm still a feminist, as much as a guy can be, anyways. I suppose I could be viewed as weak or unmanly for that, luckily it wouldn't bother me, manhood is what you make of it. *shrugs*
