The other side of weight problems

[JungianZoe]

Me too. I'm back down to 130 after 3 days of not eating properly, and though at least it didn't come off my hips, my waist is down to 26" and my ribs are visible through my skin again. I hate my body so very, very much.

  You can do it!  The key is loving your body and nurturing your body.  And the beautiful thing about tough days is that you always get more days to sort it out and get back on track.  If you're alive in this moment, it's never too late for anything.

My brain still screams at me for what I've done, but I drown that out by rubbing my finger on my arm and repeating that I love myself.  Not in a narcissistic way, just that I love myself enough to remain healthy.  Sometimes I even give myself a hug or hold one of my stuffed animals from when I was a kid, back when I still had baby fat on my body.  I tell myself that this is good, my body needs it, and I want to live a long life as my true self.

Took some new pictures last night now that I'm at my target weight... I got all teary when I looked at the before and after.  (I know I posted two of these before, but seeing them together shows the real difference).

EDIT: I never mentioned this previously, but my height is 5'11", so that should give you a better idea of height/weight proportions.


Left: 3 weeks before HRT, 120 pounds.  Right: 1.5 months HRT, 120 pounds.

 


Now: 4.5 months HRT, 145 pounds.

 

[Joelene9]

Zoe,
  You're getting there.  The two left panels show a more honest change in your appearance.  Your outline has softened some.  The side of your face has lost the hollow, that's good.  I got the much older, rounder face with the growing jawline fo my age.  Not too good, but that is softening. 
  Joelene

[BunnyBee]

Congrats on the weight gain, Zoe!  You're looking good .

People used to call me anorexic and I would just scoff at the notion, but after reading through this thread, I think I may have come closer to having an eating disorder than I thought.

A lot of themes in here that I am familiar with.  Obsessive calorie counting and weighing myself, seeing a tummy in the mirror even though I had bones sticking out everywhere. I was on a strict 1000 calorie diet to lose weight though, not 400 omg! and I stopped losing once I got down almost to the underweight range, so I don't think I was exactly anorexic.  The lowest I got was 154 lbs but that was only for about a week, I am about 6'2" and was probably closer to 6'3" back then.

Anyway, now I almost have the reverse problem.  Need to lose a bit!

[Michelle.]

I'm 5'11" and about 140lbs soaking wet. No matter how much I eat. I can't gain weight. Though I also avoid junk food like the plague. Odd thing is I don't think I have ever fallen below 124 lbs in the past 20 years. The low end was after a bout of flu.

This is really going to be a problem when it comes "T&A" development.

Twinkie, scratch that. Little Debbie Swiss cakes here I come.