Transsexual vs transgender...well, people use these terms differently. I know some people who are transsexual by the usual definition--that is, they identify as male but were designated female at birth, and they have started transition and live as men--but they prefer to call themselves transgender. They may have concerns that are very similar to yours, but they use a different label for themselves.
For years, I used "transgender" as a way of distancing myself from my transsexuality. I'm sure that other people do this.
Yes, it's hard being in the transsexual minority, and some consider us lunatic extremists because we change our bodies. But public perceptions are slowly changing. I think that if you do more reading on several forums here and if you do more reading generally, you will start understanding better. Give yourself some time. Or not--maybe you don't need to understand, as long as you support other people's right to self-definition.