Good work so far, I have many friends who have a voice much like the one you started with. I think you may have some cultural influence involved in the halting patterns of your speech, which will take some hard work to smooth out. Maia is a voice guru, so take her advice and run with it.
My own terrible advice: Abandon your male voice altogether. Your female voice won't get you looked at strange in guy mode at this point, but it is on the edge, where it can't be easily gendered if you slow it down and throw some music into it.