You have it easy?

[Korlee]

As of late a great many peeps in the transgender community have come into my life as friends and they have been amazing friends.  These people have offered me support, gotten me a job, gotten me into social events, and more.  Which all of this is great but.... there seems to be an annoying theme resurfacing all the time... =/

The

"You pass easy after less then a year of being monitored by a doctor.  So therefore you have no right to complain about any of your faults."

and it is really starting to effing piss me off.  Now I know some of us have a rough time and will likely never pass but that doesn't make my issues any stinking less relevant or anyone like me.  I still have to deal with much of the same BS but in different ways.  Most namely the god damn thing between my legs and the fact most laws don't protect me either. 

So knowing there are some of those peeps on this forum.  I'd like some insight into your damn annoying stinking brain.  Why the <not allowed> are you like this?  Why the hell can you be so nice and amazing then turn around 'n' try to snub my damn nose in the dirt with that kinda comment? -.-

[girl_ashley]

My entire transition has been pretty easy and smooth compared to most.  But I still know it's a much harder fight to fight for others.  I do not have any guilt over it, nor do I let someone guilt trip me either.  What one has to remember is that while yes it has been easy for me, but this is the way it should be for all of us.  This is why I am a strong advocate and activist for trans rights.  I think there needs to be more positive stories out there to let those transitioning that yes, sometimes people do come out great despite everything.

[Korlee]

Well on the looks front if everyone is to be believed I do indeed have it easy and are as they have put it -hot- .  However that doesn't change the others things I have to deal with, will deal with, or have dealt with on my transition.

[Kay]

I'm glad things are going well for you Korlee. 
.
Envy and Jealousy are never pretty to see...and it appears that some in your life are having difficulty counting their own blessings instead of focusing on yours.  Just keep on being you, and expressing your concerns about your life.  (while also remembering to smile about your own blessings sometimes) You'll eventually find friends worth having...friends that respect your feelings, and your right to express them.

[Korlee]

Well aside from the one thing they are really awesome peeps.  It is just they remind me of it all the time if I speak about things that annoy me about going out or the facial hair left.  They don't do it out of malice like peeps I have seen do here or in other places.  They just end up saying it and referencing themselves as someone that has a harder time passing. =/

I guess I am a lil biased as well because I think she looks just fine.  Ya, she isn't a knock out babe but she looks just fine to me.

[Karynm8621]

I've had a very easy time moving into being passable. I too see my faults and yes it does frustrate people who have it harder. I honsetly don't think it's much different than having GID, sitting in a mall watching women and being jealous of them. To some degree we all do it but I do understand how it feels.

Having been someone who has transitioned and kept my entire family and all my friends it is hard for me to relate and understand what it's like to lose everything. My heart breaks for those that do.

And the biggie, I kept my marriage intact and strong. I get told in no uncertain terms by trans people how luck I am and how I heed to be aware of it. I get told they are jealous or envious of it. And I get told by non trans people how lucky I am. Both my spouse and I at times have found this to be quite annoying because it makes it sound like I bring nothing to my marriage to make it that strong.

I totally get it and I try to show that this can be done in a positive way so other people don't ave to suffer

[rejennyrated]

Ladies - just a little courtesy visit from your local friendly beat officer. So far you are fine but I am a little uneasy about the potential future direction of travel of this thread.

Please be aware that personal attacks are not permitted - and even if you dont name a person it may become possible for others to intuit their identity. That would put you in conflict with site terms of service - so please take care how you develop the thread...

This is not a warning - just a little friendly reminder.

Thanks a lot. Y'all take care now

[Korlee]

I would never say a name, location, or anything else.  These people have been fantastic to me and done wonderful things for me.  I just needed a small rant as they are not the only ones to do it.  There have been peeps at the support group, noticed it a lil hear, and other such things.  I was just getting a lil fed up with it.

After all I have issues to work out as well.  Just because my looks turned out great so far anyways doesn't mean other problems are not there for me or others like me.  We still have the same bloody goal as them and like them many things such as parts of our families have not taken it well.

[Miss_Anthropic]

I agree totally with what has been said in this thread. I guess fortunately for me, I came into "passing" fairly easily and that seems to be a point of contention with some in the community. I feel like I sound totally full of myself and vain saying any of this, but here goes...

It doesn't seem to matter that I've had so many struggles in the rest of my life, the fact that I've been able to pass pre-hrt somehow negates the rest of my reality....... it's almost as if I'm sometimes treated like I haven't *earned my transness*..... it's really very frustrating.

This isn't a Susans thing, just a nature of the beast that is the trans community I suppose. It happens everywhere and frankly I just don't get it, just have to get used to it I guess....here is a quote of something I posted on Susans back on January 7th 2011, sums up how I feel about it most of the time.....

...........I don't buy into the "walk a mile in my shoes" philosophy either, I hope everyones transition goes smoothly, their parents are accepting and they get past this and blend in great. Why would you want someone else to go thru the wringer just because you had to? That seems incredibily petty to me. If transition isn't a constant struggle, have you not earned it?  Does not compute.....

~Sara (Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! :p j/k )

[Korlee]

~Sara (Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! :p j/k )

Sass is where it is at.. or tease! ;3
http://sharkrobot.com/t-shirts/quit-looking-at-my-boos
http://sharkrobot.com/t-shirts/i-want-you-inside-me-pink-guys

<3 that site.

[missjanealice]

I get a lot of this in just about all aspects of my life as I am very fortunate, but people always seem to forget that all pain/ struggle is relative. I went through hell to get here and I suffer with dysphoria all the darn time but I don't feel that my struggle is more or less valid then anyone else's. Personally I can't stand the "it could be worse" people... yeah it could be, but it could also be better!

[Tamaki]

Everyones journey is different but there are common themes that run through them. I don't believe that anyone is in a position to judge anothers pain, suffering and hardships. They did not live your life they lived theirs. It's much more useful to accept that when someone says they suffered that they suffered and have compassion for them. It's not a contest.

I'm sorry your friends are being difficult. It's too bad that they get caught up in their jealousy and that it hurts you and your friendship. Perhaps trying to have compassion for their difficulty in accepting your suffering will help.

[pretty]

Misery loves company. People do this kind of thing in all facets of life... "you don't know what it's like to have (insert disorder or situation/misfortune here)" etc. It is just because people like to feel like a victim. They tell themselves that everyone and everything is just out to get them so they never have to take any blame for their problems. It is just selfish "poor, poor me."

It's really ironic because they are trying to say that they have things objectively bad which gives you no right to complain, but objectively, they are some of the luckier people in the world to be born where they were.

[Jenna_Nicole105]

I'm hoping I don't end up like your friends as I approach my own transition, this is the sort of situation that's going to be difficult for anyone who partakes in it.

There's a reason so many people don't even try to transition and more or less give up in various ways (whether it be hopefully.... just learning to like, or at least accept who they are on the outside to some degree.. or in much more tragic cases suicide)

I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to be trans, now that's there's anything wrong with it... just because it is so difficult.. even in the most ideal of circumstances.

Having said all that, I do tend to get jealous.....envious, however one chooses to put it from time to time... thus the reason for stating that I hopefully don't end up like your friends.

It's an unhealthy and honestly quite ugly trait, but my current envy is directed at those who have been lucky enough to start HRT... but that's mainly just because I want it so badly for myself and I keep having to jump through hoop after hoop, in spite of having a letter.

It's something I need to work on and I need to keep that in mind when I start to transition, count the blessings that I do have. I haven't lost my family, heck haven't even lost any friends... and pretty much everyone knows by now.

That's not to say that I won't lose family and friends once I get closer to something resembling an actual transition, but I honestly don't foresee that  being the case.

We all tend to be our own worst enemies in a lot of cases and I would venture to guess that at least some of the people who claim to be having so much trouble passing, likely aren't having as much trouble as they think.

I know in my own case I've gotten a lot of positive feedback in terms of pictures I've shared with people, especially post makeover pics from when a friend helped me out... but when I look at myself in the mirror, most of the time I don't think I will pass, though I do in the interest of full disclosure have fleeting moments of thinking I will.

I've been way too long winded, really bad about that.. sorry... but in the end we are all in this together.