"Hey Lady"

[Da Monkey]

So funny story...

I'm stealth in my current city and at work. This girl came up to me and was like "hey lady" and laughed jokingly. I probably gave her the crapping-my-pants-look and I said "why are you calling me lady?" I always fear that people somehow know about me but what would be the odds. And this other girl who was there said "because you're really a girl". I was like "...hahah" and they just laughed and said they were joking around with me.

Obviously being called that brings back so many bad memories. Even when I lived as a woman I hated being called that. Though I feel weird expressing anger to it now when people don't know about me because then think it will make me look like one of those insecure guys. I'm sure you know what I mean by that.

I guess made that face for a long time because a while after we were working she comes back to me and asks "you're not mad at me are you?"

I wasn't mad at her it was just really odd. She still says it to me so I think I am gonna start saying 'hey dude'. Just as jokes.

Anyone else have something like this happen?

[xAndrewx]

Yikes I just don't get the joke I guess. Not the same but My friend who knows about me and is transgender calls me girl. Like "you know what I'm saying girl" or "hey girl hey". While I know she isn't trying to upset me it still hurts. She thought I should understand because she says it to everyone but it still hurts when she does it

[matt]

Are you absolutely sure that they don't know about your past? If it happened to me I guess I would be very paranoid....

I would be wondering e.g. May be some guy saw me using the stalls in the mens room and blabbed about it 

Hope it was just a one off.... but it is a bit suspicious, especially when they kept saying it afterwards....

also... I don't think "hey dude" to a cis-girl has the same effect... weird, not sure why...

[Da Monkey]

Yeah I know it's strange. But she's told me she says it to her husband afterwards. It's just coincidental.

I don't know how people would know, and despite using a stall guys don't talk about that kind of thing. I've been seen at a urinal anyway. Even if they did see me in a stall it is noisy as hell in the washrooms since it's in a factory so no one could hear me going. Plus rumors spread so fast if people actually knew I know it would be different and I would actually be getting harassed by everyone. She doesn't call me she or anything that harsh, and always says stuff like 'well you're a guy' type deal so I know it was just a comment. And the other girl who called me 'really a girl' thinks I'm a gay guy anyway.

I'm hours away from my home town and the people here only know trans people to be "men in dresses".

[Da Monkey]

From the girl who said I'm 'really a girl' yeah she's really insecure about herself so I try not to let her comments bother me. But from the one who called me lady she's really nice to me otherwise. so coming from her threw me off a bit but she is a bit strange anyway.

[Squirrel698]

If I were you I would just wait until the next time she does it.  When she does I would just tell her that I don't like being called that.  It's not cute and it's not funny.  I find it offensive so please cut it out.  It doesn't matter if her husband likes it.  This is how I feel and my feelings are valid.

Standing up for yourself certainly does not make you a girl.  Even saying that you don't want to be called a girl does not make you one.  You deserve to feel confident and comfortable and treated with respect. 

The one time someone called me a girl I shut it down so fast he's terrified of me now ... So don't be to rude but do make your feelings known.

[Ratchet]

In my opinion, it sounds more like the girl is trying to test the waters. Like there is a inkling that you are a girl, and that was a comment thrown out there to see how you would react. To find out if it was true, basically. I've seen it done before. When people do it to me, I just look at them blankly and go "I'm a boy/guy". And they just shut up. If you react weirdly in some situations, rumors will start, people will assume things, right or wrong, and then you have to deal with that. Hopefully, it's as innocent as she tried to make it seem. But to be honest, it doesn't seem like it to me.

[~RoadToTrista~]

That reminds me of this girl at school. She always tells her friends "Hey gurllllllllllllll" regardless of what gender they are.

[Wraith]

Uh, just a thought that hit me: as an FTM it would be totally weird to have someone latching on to you and theorizing about things like: "maybe you're an MTF?".
I think I'd be lost for words.. It would mean you pass as born male, but I can actually see it happen with the way some people have to be nosy. That's the way many people treat gays anyway.

From her it may just be jargon/attitude(whatever you call it) though, and nothing to do with real suspicion.

[Da Monkey]

Last week I left early because I was really sick and told one of the team leaders and he joked and said "that time of the month". I even joked back and said "yeah, my ovaries". I find that joking about it back is what a cis male would do instead of getting defensive, which is what an FTM would do now matter how hard it can be.

The point is that we read WAY too much into it when really, they mean no harm at all. It is just funny because I am getting these comments because they read me as a cisgendered male and not because they know that I am FTM trans.

[FebruaryFalls]

I say that to my friends as a joke, but, like the Beastie Boys say it..you know "Hey Ladies!!", in a gangsta voice. But it's weird for someone who doesn't know you well to say it..

[N.Chaos]

I've got a friend, I've bitched about him on here a bunch of times, that'll say crap like that occasionally. It's annoying as hell, but half the time I realize it's like some of you mentioned, he does it to EVERYONE. He calls EVERYONE lesbian. It just irks me because 1: I'm not a damn girl, and 2: I'm not even INTO girls.

He's one of those people, it seems, where however you are when he meets you, that's how you will be forever and ever amen in his weird little mind.