Agreed 100% Sad Panda. I had trouble passing as male in detransition and even though my hair was short it was because of those dernn bangs, everybody thought i was a lezzie. But femininity is apart of me, just like you. I think part of the reason I'm in transition now was because I was pushing myself too hard to be male by the end just so I could pass...ending up with a crew, dressing ways I didn't like to dress, and losing myself in it, ya know? So I had a dysphoria crash because I was trying too hard to look a certain part, that I was denying another part of myself.
It's not so much about 'passing' as one gender or the other..it's about BEING the gender you are but expressing yourself however is most comfortable.
I feel male some days tbh. I've cme to the conclusion I really am just bigender/genderfluid. And you know, I don't pass as one anymore...not that I couldn't if I tried by cutting my hair (id rather die) and stopping hormones, but I don't want to try and I shouldn't have to try. I should be able to keep taking hormones and growing my hair and STILL be able to think of myself as a boy when I want to, even if I look very very feminine.
And, yeah, lately I dress in boys clothes and refer to myself as one sometimes...and no, I don't pass as one, and I've been told that multiple times (even by a random neighbor), but I dont care. My family accepts me, and the people I love accept me...wheter I wanna be a boy, girl, or both. What's more is *I* am starting to accept me, and am okay looking like an elf boy, at best, haha.
But yeah, that's how I see it. You shouldn't sacrifice apart of your identity for another part. You can be feminine and be a boy, masculine and be a girl, etc etc, whatever you want. You can mix and match.
