The Official "You Look....Alright" Thread

[sad panda]

Thanks guys <3

Yeah Abby. I think we're like.. connected by some wicked fate. I mean there are other people who struggle like us, but with us, it's in legit weird territory, ahah.

It is just this crazy world. It's nice to not be the only one who feels this way though. I feel like, one day, we won't have to feel this, but who knows when that will be.

Y'know I think it's cuz we're ENFJ. I love type stuff and I think it's the extroverted part that makes it so hard. We get feelings and vibes about ourself and what we should be from the external world, which is really gender-difficult. I'm trying to let myself have a little of that I guess more introverted self-acceptance... but hey, it ain't easy.

Oh well. We totally gotta hang out sometime XD

@Emily

Yah I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too but like... sometimes I choke. lol. Heck yah there is indecisiveness. It's just hard when you have this self-image that is always conflicting with your reality, no matter what reality you choose, y'know?

@Jen

It's great that the system actually does benefit you, I mean, in not the most ideal way, but in the sense that you can accept what you do get from it...

But, a lot of people take that and just say, okay, I'm done. I got what I wanted, I'm not gonna try to understand why it could be wrong for other people.

And, you don't do that. You really care. That means so much... if more people could care about problems that don't necessarily affect them, then there would probably be a lot less unnecessary suffering in the world. :S

But yeah, it isn't just me and abby either. I hear this sentiment a lot in various places... this pushback against a bad gender system. Actually, I also hear it from gay guys who feel like they should have been a girl but have no inclination to be trans either.

[Adam (birkin)]

Yeah, Abby and sad panda, you've given me stuff to think about too. I remember you saying, Abby, that when you went on a dating site as a guy, people were asking you either why you were looking for gay guys (cause they thought you were a girl) or if you were FTM. It makes me think of all the stories I've read of people who are FTM and go on dating sites and people make a bunch of assumptions about them and about their bodies. I imagine people were making similar assumptions about your proclivities and your body, but in reality, they had no idea what they were talking about.

In the case of sad panda, I was thinking about what you said about how it's hurtful when people say your boy mode isn't a boy mode, or something along those lines. I can remember before I started treatment, I looked female, no question about it. If I told people I wasn't a girl, or that I was a guy, they either were extremely confused or they knew enough about FTMs to go on and tell me how I should feel about being a girl and so on and so forth. It was very frustrating to have people make those assumptions about me, and using my appearance as an excuse to not take who I am seriously. I imagine it's harder in your case, because at least from your presentation, you seem to enjoy things that society considers to be more "feminine" but you don't want to give them up just because you're a guy. Which is totally understandable! Why should you have to compromise who you are and what you like?

And I can't blame the people who made those assumptions about me way back when...because up until I saw you two, and read your stories, I probably would have thought the same if I saw someone who looked as female as myself saying they were a guy. I'd think "ok, trans guy, dude you've got to start T already."

I obviously can't claim to understand the processes either of you are going through (since you're both taking slightly different approaches to yourselves too), but it's definitely encouraged me to think more about my own assumptions that I make. Which is saying a lot, because I really thought I was past the point of making assumptions about others' feelings and about their bodies, based on their appearance. I guess I wasn't fully there yet.

[BunnyBee]

Love you two .   And Birkin I always feel like you say things I connect with .

[ethereal-ineffability]

Yah I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too but like... sometimes I choke. lol. Heck yah there is indecisiveness. It's just hard when you have this self-image that is always conflicting with your reality, no matter what reality you choose, y'know?

I read this and my immediate thought was "I've finally found people who understand"

it's a great feeling can we just make another topic where we can talk about this more

[sad panda]

I read this and my immediate thought was "I've finally found people who understand"

it's a great feeling can we just make another topic where we can talk about this more

Sure if you want to make it. I'm actually about to go to sleep lol, my head is fuzzy. But I would love to talk about it more later.

Oh and awww... love ya jen! *big hugzzz*

[jussmoi4nao]

On a side note, Jens such a sweet and good person..

But Ethereal, yeah we should! I feel like there's a loot more people like us out there but there aren't many spaces for us to sort of...find whats right for us. And we end up getting shooed into what seems like the closest fit.

[Shantel]

A grumpy old person checking in! 

[ethereal-ineffability]

A grumpy old person checking in! 

shantel you are perfect keep doing your thing bc you're doing it well

I feel like we need a term on the level of "fabulous" that is distinctly non-gendered for everybody posting in this thread because "alright" sounds a bit patronizing lol

[Shantel]

shantel you are perfect keep doing your thing bc you're doing it well

I feel like we need a term on the level of "fabulous" that is distinctly non-gendered for everybody posting in this thread because "alright" sounds a bit patronizing lol

Gee that's kind of you, thanks! After 20 years on HRT I seem to be getting this matronly looking body (ugh)

You are so right on your second comment though.

[ashrock]

Been getting varied gendering responses from people and wondering, do I look androgynous?

[Shantel]

Been getting varied gendering responses from people and wondering, do I look androgynous?

Yes very much so at this point! I like your super curly hair.

[ativan]

I haven't posted in this thread for awhile. It was getting to much like the 'You Look Fabulous' threads that leave those who aren't behind.
It seems to have gotten back on track, although there was some drifting there, which is a normal thing around here at times. Used to be all the time.
But I do want to mention that this isn't a contest here as much as it is support for those who wish to ask how they're doing.
The title is a Pica classic of tongue in cheek answer to the you look fabulous threads.
I don't think there is a way of doing that without coming off all wrong for quite a few people.
There isn't as much of a need to be the best looking as there is to being able to look your own personal best.
Everyone being equal, as there isn't a way of saying you look more androgynous or even more non-binary than the next person.
You're all fabulous. You're all,... alright.
I just looked at the beginning of this and it was just under three years ago that this thread was started.
You are looking, all of you,... Alright. 
Ativan

[barbie]

Been getting varied gendering responses from people and wondering, do I look androgynous?

Yes!

barbie~~

[barbie]

I am participating in an open forum.



barbie~~

[ashrock]

I highly agree, beautiful! All I see is a woman though, darn I hope one day to be as pretty, Barbie...

[Lara the Lover and the Fighter]

I am participating in an open forum.



barbie~~

You look so cool Barbie!  Like a Congress Woman or something.

[barbie]

You look so cool Barbie!  Like a Congress Woman or something.

Thanks, kate, Ashrock and Lala. Yes. It was a memorial forum to remember the victims of the ferry accident, and to initiate organizing a local civil network to contribute to preventing such an absurd tragedy in the future. I had to wear a kind of formal dress, but it was the best I could choose.

barbie~~

[ethereal-ineffability]

Dunno if this picture will actually work and even if it does it's probably sideways but I dunno how to fix that

But yeah this is me actually trying for once, and with somewhat of a hangover to boot so I think I did decent? But today is one of those days where I would really like to be seen as a dude, at least from a ways away... For future reference is there anything I could maybe improve (even though this is a pretty bad selfie)?

[ethereal-ineffability]

Hard to tell with the photo at rotated as it is. You look good. Only thing i would say would be the neck chain, it looks somewhat effeminate. Leather straps instead of gold/silver chains i feel give off a more masculine edge. I've got a piece made from thread wrapped around a precious stone, black turmeline, looks like a long black shard and has some great properties.

Yeah, sad thing is it was upright on my phone so I thought for a second that it had worked.

the necklace is actually leather (or some kind of imitation or other animal skin stuff, idk) with a bear charm at the end, I got it in the Canada section of Epcot and kind of accidentally/coincidentally started wearing it to express my gender since I'd originally bought it as an accessory for a male character I play and started to steal his look (since I don't know the first thing about dressing myself as any gender). Looking at the picture now though, I can easily see how it looks like a gold chain. It's actually some kind of tan, fuzzy something and supposedly native-made. The one you've got sounds cool though

[Pica Pica]

Not very androgynous but this is how I look most days.