Hi,
I am looking to start therapy to help with my gender identity. I have looked on numerous websites, but I can't seem to find a therapist in my area. There are a lot of regular therapists, but I can't seem to find any that specialize in transgender issues. I currently live in the Lehigh Valley (Allentown, Bethlehem, Easton) area in Pennsylvania. The area is about 1 1/2 hours North of Philadelphia. My schedule won't allow trips all the way to Philly, so that is out of the question. Do any of you girls have any recommendations? I prefer to see a female therapist, as I would feel more comfortable with them. As far as therapists, what should I expect? What type of questions would they ask? I really have no idea what to expect.
I guess I should provide a little background of myself. I am currently 24 years old. I believe my gender issues started when I was about 12 years old. I can remember the changes through puberty and I wasn't really happy about having body hair in all the male places. I looked at the girls and was so jealous of their soft and smooth skin. I also was jealous of all their clothing (jeans, skirts, camis, dresses, etc). Deep down, I dreamed I could be one of them. These feeling persisted for a few years before I actually started doing anything about them. At around age 18, I started wearing girls jeans sometimes, along with removing most of my body hair. I started shaving my legs (not in the summer - out of fear), shaving my chest, underams, etc). I also tried to mimic a girl's period by using pads for a few days out of each month. At around age 20, I started getting my legs waxed, because I hated having the hair. It just felt much more comfortable to have smooth legs.
At the age of 23, I started to develop a strong urge to develop breasts. I really can't come up with a reason why this is the case. All I know, is that I want to be more feminine and have breasts just like a girl. I want to wear bras and it just seems right. I don't know if this is normal or not. Due to this urge, I have tried using some herbs to develop the breasts. I have had some noticeable results, considering I started flat as a board. They are still AAA cups, but they seem to be growing slightly.
At this point, I feel I should seek some form of counseling. I don't quite know what I should be asking for. In a nutshell, I just want to be more feminine. I want to have a female body (breasts, no body hair, rounder hips, etc), but I don't believe I could transition. Although I dream of being a woman, I could never see myself transitioning. I really don't think my parents could handle that, and I believe that would be going a step too far. However, I don't know the best steps to accomplish my goals of becoming more feminine. Would HRT offer some form of satisfaction to me?
Thanks.
Christin
