I totally screwed my back up and got sent home on comp today. The throes of painkiller sprees tend to cause the biggest leaps forward in my life, (a bike wreck and a ton of Oxycontin caused me to begin my transition - best thing that ever happened to me) so naturally I decided to compose my coming out letter to HR this evening. Opinions, praise, and criticism all very welcome. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and respond. :-)
To Whom It May Concern:
After over a decade of soul searching, I've finally made a very difficult decision. Luckily, the decision was made much easier by the hard-earned success of several prominent individuals who have also made the same leap including Senior Technical Advisor to the Department of Commerce Amanda Simpson, Houston municipal court judge Phyllis Frye, co-creator of The Matrix trilogy Lana Wachowski, police officers in the cities of Richardson, Dallas, and Fort Worth, and at least one employee of Dallas Area Rapid Transit just to name a few.
My earliest memory of feeling different came about at the age of seven. It's taken quite some time to come to terms with myself and my condition, but I'm finally prepared to make it right. In the pursuit of transitioning from male to female, I've attended a multitude of sessions with a gender therapist to confirm the legitimacy of my feelings, I've spent quite a bit of money on permanent beard removal, and I have been on cross-gender hormone therapy since April of 2010. I'll be having my first round of surgery in December of this year, after which it'll likely be impossible to pass myself off as Patrick anymore, thus necessitating this "coming out" correspondence. Since September of 2010, I've been known as Jessica, Jess, or Jessie to my friends and loved ones, only assuming the role of Patrick in the scope of my employment. I've begun the process of legally changing my name as of April 25th.
In support of my transition, I'd like to mention the observation of Traffic/Transportation Supervisor Robby Ortiz. We had a lengthy discussion about my dramatically improved attitude and general wellbeing during my last performance evaluation he oversaw in October of 2010 before his retirement. (As an aside, my lifelong battle with suicidal depression suddenly ended when I began this process.) Granted, Robby was unaware of the specific reason behind my newfound exuberance with life, but it was clearly palpable. The physical changes initiated by hormone therapy were a concern initially, but I've managed to maintain and even improve my job performance in spite of an overall reduction in muscle mass through a "work smarter, not harder" methodology. My co-workers will surely vouch for my reliability and dependability as an employee of the city. I arrive early every day, minimize my off time, and gladly accept every opportunity to work overtime. If anything, my gender transition has been a positive influence on my employment with the municipality so far.
In my personal life, my relationship with my girlfriend of five years is flourishing. My brother replied to the news with the comical question, "So that's what's been wrong with you all this time?" He asserts that I'm a much more pleasant person than I used to be. I've been graciously accepted by my friends, including more than a few rough and tumble bikers, much to my surprise. Socializing is much easier and feels far more natural than it ever has before.
I'm very open about my experience with one person on my crew and another has managed to deduce what I'm doing, but for the most part, I believe the remainder of the people I work with on a daily basis simply think I'm gay. I'm treated with the same degree of respect as anyone else in my department and it hasn't presented an issue at all. My hope is that this remains the case after my condition and the associated treatment become common knowledge at work. I hope to enlist the assistance of human resources in streamlining my on-the-job transition and resolving any issues or conflicts that may arise.
I require very little in terms of clerical adjustments. A new employee ID will need to be issued. My name will need to be changed and the gender marker updated in my employment records and on associated documents. TMRS will need to be notified, and my beneficiaries should probably be updated.
My primary concern is appropriate bathroom usage. The building that houses our operations has one community restroom and no single-use restroom that I'm aware of. The community restroom is frequented almost exclusively by men and one of our sign fabricators took it upon himself to post "MEN'S BATHROOM" on the only access from our side of the building last year. In my opinion, the restroom's configuration provides more than adequate privacy for usage by anyone, but the proper solution to this issue would most likely weigh the feelings of other employees who use this restroom as well. What I'm doing is bound to challenge some people's sensibilities, so it's very important to me to avoid making anyone more uncomfortable than necessary.
Outside of that, existing policies adequately cover any interpersonal difficulties that may arise on the job. Respect is a hallmark of the leadership model and existing harassment prevention training is broad enough to imply protection of gender identity. I enjoy being a productive member of the city's workforce and desire nothing more than to continue to do so without the burden of portraying myself as something I'm not. I would be thrilled to assist human resources in any way with ensuring this process happens as smoothly as possible, and I'll be extremely grateful for their assistance in doing so.
Thank You,
Me!
