Hey all, I'm Wes and this is my first post here. I'm a 21 year old genderqueer FTM. I've been going to a therapist for about 3 months now and probably will get approval to start T soon (hopefully this week!). I attend a private university at a liberal city and unless I overload in terms of classes and get rid of my social life and/or don't sleep, I'll be graduating in 2 years. I'm also currently unemployed. I've been out to my queer family and friends for a while now and every single person has been extremely accepting and supporting (calling me male pronouns and by my chosen name, etc). I couldn't be happier.
Some background info on my parents:
Both of my parents are fairly liberal people. I was out to my mom as a lesbian/queer dyke-y person and she didn't question nor cared all that much about it. My dad has little (or perhaps none) experience with anyone from the LGB spectrum, but is accepting/tolerant of it. My dad also works in a high managerial position for a large international company. (More on how this relates later) My parents, along with all of my extended family, live over 2000 miles away from me.
Almost 3 weeks ago I came out to my parents as a trans man. They weren't understanding in the least. For example, my mom was yelling at my therapist claiming I am delusional to think I could ever be a man. Thankfully they didn't cut my tuition or disowned me, but they are not respecting my identity and somewhat trying to play it off as a phase, even though I clearly stated that I've known I'm FTM for 9+ years. They're also say that I'm not mature enough to make decision to start T and won't be until after I graduate, which is absurd considering most folks I know would likely call me one of the most mature and thoughtful people they know. I've been wanting to start T since age 15, so I'm pretty damn determined and need to start it asap for my own sanity.
The issue arises that my mother informed me yesterday that they'd basically disown me or at the very least cut off any financial support if either started T, came out to any more of my family, including my brother who is 19, or didn't keep my trans identity private. They have been quite threatening to me, claiming that my dad would get blackmailed or lose his job if anyone in his company were to find out I'm trans because it'd be too controversial for someone of his position. (This is despite the fact that both the countries in where my parents reside and where the company HQs are located have anti-discrimination policies for trans* persons, which I have pointed out to them.)
Give that, I feel like I have a few options:
a) Start T (with or without telling my parents) and risk disownment and/or lose financial support
b) Suck it up, hope for them to change their stance, follow my current graduation tracksuit and wait to start T until I'm financially independent
c) Overload and attempt to graduate asap. Given my past and my workload-heavy major, this would likely make me break.
Basically between those things, I'm at a loss... I feel like I'm being forced between choosing my own sanity and health and my education and family. I want to make them understand that I NEED to start T and that transitioning during college likely would be easier than while I'm working a job and paying for all my living expenses on my own. I have no idea how to go about making them understand though, or even what course of action I should take. I would really appreciate any advice you guys have to give, because this guy is really damn confused. :/
