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Started by Sabriel Facrin, June 01, 2011, 09:32:13 PM

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Sabriel Facrin

June 01, 2011, 09:32:13 PM
and so in the box step~ we step out that way~ We step out that way~ Then we step back to where we started! ^.^ Isn't it...FUN?!
This feeling of that I might go absolutely insane or somehow die by a nonpainful sensation is EXHILIRATING.  I never felt more alive in DYING!

....
*Sigh*

Yeah.  I'm upset.

I had five pages to give to my parents about what I felt about their decision for absolute restriction of me dealing with my ->-bleeped-<-, but my printer's clearly possessed by mother chaos and doesn't want to print the most random assortment of pages: On three attempts, the 2nd page turned into a total ink dump: It was WET with blank ink covering it!  What a waste!
Butyeah...A while ago, Sunday I think?  ....Well, on that night, I went through hours of intense disharmony towards my body.  I felt like I was going to die, as unrealistic as that is...I didn't want to drop it, but it was hard to bring it up to my parents...But that stupid printer malfunction kept me from being able to send it to my parents AND I got to work 10 minutes late.  Ugh!
Then throughout work I was disoriented, and later found that I had strong aggrivation stirring from my feelings stirring again.  I don't know what's going to get me killed first.  A panic attack or something stupid I do?
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Sephirah

#1
June 01, 2011, 10:08:32 PM
Honey, if you can't tell them... don't print it. Write it. In your own hand.

Handrwitten will always have more impact than a sterile printed page. Maybe this is an opportunity. :)

*hug*
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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Sabriel Facrin

#2
June 01, 2011, 10:26:25 PM
That's true...it'd be such a personal level...
...

...I'm going to need subtitles, though.  My handwriting might as well be a military code.
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Sephirah

#3
June 01, 2011, 10:30:17 PM
Well, then you can say that if there's anything they can't read, or have trouble understanding, you'd be willing to talk it over with them. Who knows, it may end up being the catalyst you need. :)

Give it a shot. You have nothing to lose. *hug*
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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spacial

#4
June 02, 2011, 01:31:09 AM
My hand writing is also really bad. Sadly, I wasn't the first to use that excuse either.

But anyway, as someone once said to me, in a not dissimlar situation, where I had to write something out by hand, do it slowly.
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Cindy

#5
June 02, 2011, 04:17:00 AM
I would definitely hand write it. No matter how bad the writing. It then comes from the soul. And not from Bill Gates' soul .

Cindy
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Renate

#6
June 02, 2011, 04:24:07 AM
You could always print it at your local library or
take it to one of those copy places and print it on fancy paper.
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Sabriel Facrin

#7
June 02, 2011, 01:03:30 PM
Things just got...more awkward.  My mom became pretty offended at one of my friends because he has a 'gross out' type of sense of humor, where he tends to try to make awkward moments and such.  My mom took a comment he said wrong, and thought he was trying to make passes at me.
She got really upset that I didn't stand up for myself on it (It just was joking with bad taste D: ) and during her rant, she mentioned roughly, about that she although she doesn't really like it, she is trying to accept me (Despite its importance, I don't remember if she used the word 'choice...') and that I intend to go through with it eventually.

This...just makes it hard to deal with, suddenly again.  I reworked it and had 10 pages that I felt were much clearer about what I'm going through...But now I feel like the nature of the paper is just a huge kick at her for not accepting me fast enough, after hearing that.
At this point I'm a little disoriented about what I should and could do...I still don't feel I can back down, but at the same time I don't know how I'm supposed to approach the subject anymore, because it's not like she's refusing to deal with it.  I don't want to stress her out too much into a breaking point where any number of nasty responses can happen and I don't want myself to broken in a nasty breaking point either.  Maybe it's just time to move away, again?  I'm thinking of just repurposing my paper into it.

As for the continued handwriting suggestions... XD There are literally about two-to-four people in the world besides me who can read any words I write, and one of them needs extensive decoding time.  No offense...maybe....fancy paper or something like that can do better to give a touching, personal feel.
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