appointment with guidance counselor tomorrow

[sortofyes]

(I'm in high school, fyi)

I made an appointment to talk to my counselor about dropping Spanish for next year, because there's just something about Spanish class that gnaws away at my soul, and I figured while I'm there we could get this pesky transgender issue sorted out.  I want to see if she can help with notifying my teachers next year and work out things like gym locker rooms and restrooms (I have two days of sophomore year left and I did not go into the school bathrooms once in this school because I'm not sure which one to use).  Problem is that I am very, very nervous.  I think I might chicken out.  I saw in her office that she has one of those "safe place" signs but I'm not sure if she means it or it's just for show. 

How do I bring up the subject?  What kind of questions might she ask afterwards?  If my parents know? (my mom does)  If I've told my classmates? (that's a no) I'm not even out to most of my friends.  Would she help with that? I feel this insecurity like I'm not out enough to be telling her.  It's not like we're buddy-buddy-- the only things I've really had to discuss with her throughout my high school "career" so far is course selection-- and this seems like a really personal matter to be telling her about but I also think that another year being called female pronouns and not using the bathrooms will do more damage to me (and my bladder) than Spanish class would... not that Spanish does any damage to my bladder at all.  Awkward wording.

Help please.

[Adio]

Hey there.  I can't remember if I came out to my guidance counselor or not, but I told some other teachers in high school.  In college I had to disclose multiple times, so I can give you some advice based on those experiences.

After talking to her about your Spanish class, tell her you'd like to talk about something more personal.  If the door isn't already shut, ask if you can shut it.  Not only does this give you privacy, but I've noticed I was taken more seriously when I offered to do this.

As for what to say next...You can ask whether she has any experience with LGBT issues.  If yes, you can say "I'm transgender" or however you want to say it.  If she says no, you can ask "Do you know what transgender means?"  From there, talk about what that means for you.  For example, a couple years ago I told my dorm supervisor that I was transgender, meaning that I was born with a female body but mentally I am male.  After that, we talked about dorm arrangements, roommates, and privacy.

So after explaining what being transgender (or however you explain your situation) means for you, segue into the restroom and gym situation.  Bring up pronouns and coming out when it feels right in the conversation.

I'm not sure what questions she might ask.  Probably something about your parents because you're still in high school.  I can elaborate on any of this if you want.  I just don't want to overwhelm you with a huge wall of text.

[Adio]

So how did it go?

[sortofyes]

Oh, not well.  Thank you so much for the advice, though.  I went into her office dead-set on doing the door thing and getting business taken care of but I was so nervous I felt like I was going to throw up.  I dropped Spanish (in fact, I was never signed up for it in the first place; my teacher lied to me) but then she just asked to sign my hall pass for my return to class.  Not a "Is there something else you need to talk about?" or anything of that sort. Just "Let me see your pass."

Face-to-face confrontation has never been my strong suit, and she didn't seem very inviting toward the concept of further conversation, so I left.  And spent the rest of study hall with my head on the desk, sulking over my cowardice. 

I have one more day of finals but I don't think the counselor's offices are open anymore.  I guess I should just write a letter and send it in over the summer.