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I guess?

Started by Darrin Scott, June 04, 2011, 10:04:18 PM

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Darrin Scott

Hello all,

At the request of Sevan I am posting on the Androgyne forum. I am biologically female and have had no surgeries or hormones. I have only recently even begun questioning things like gender. I never did like being female all that much even as a kid. Wearing women's clothing/make-up makes me feel disgusting and it's like an out-of-body experience. I just want to crawl into a hole and die when I wear that stuff, but at the same time I don't think FTM is right for me at this point in my life. I don't want a penis. I find them repulsive. (No offense to any of the dudes here, it's just me), but I have thought about top surgery and T, but I just don't think full transition is right for me. I don't know if Andro is a right label for me, either because I don't consider myself having any female characteristics other than whats biological. So I don't know....I think genderqueer is my best bet, but I do use a female name and pronouns. I just don't know if using male names and pronouns is right for me, either. I might fit in here better than on the FTM forums, but I do envy the guys who look so good on T and sometimes want that for myself. Gender is crazy! Just thought I'd drop in here and get some feedback or something.....





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Sevan

Welcome to our little section of the forums! You don't have to be androgyn identified to be here! Genderqueer, third gender, 2 spirit, nutrious and anything else I haven't mentioned!
Gender is crazy and well worth exploring :)
I'm also the spouse to the fabulous Mrs. Cynthialee.


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ativan

There are many well worn paths in the Unicorn Forest. I hope you find the right ones for you!
Ativan
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Pica Pica

I use a male name, male pronouns - I don't even keep my hair that long anymore because I can't keep it nice, anyone looking at me would tend to assume me male. But that doesn't mean I am not androgyne because I know that were I female with a female name and pronouns I'd feel pretty similar.

Now, sometimes I wish I were female, but I've noticed that I only ever want to be a pretty girl, or more often that not, a little girl - it reveals to me that I appreciate the ideas of pretty and cute, and those are the elements I'd like for myself, not so much the femaleness. Similarly, I sometimes get irritated with my male genitals, but mainly because they spoil the smooth line or cut of some clothes.

It's an odd place to be by some, but when you explore the realms and wander through them, they can become home. I remember that when I was growing up I often felt like 'half a person' or as you said 'an out-of-body experience'. After nearly 5 years exploring this stuff I now feel like a whole person, and that is a good thing.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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Jaimey

Androgyne doesn't necessarily mean both male and female...it just means not exclusively one of the two.  :D  Welcome to the Unicorn Forest!

If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
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LightlyLuke

I'm an androgynous woman. No one would call me womanly, except in which restroom I chose. No one would call me manly, except when my chores put grease under my fingernails or something.

I'm just me.
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Darrin Scott

Thanks guys. I guess Angrogyne means something different for everyone? My therapist said it was between a man and a woman, but I don't feel that way. Sometimes I don't feel like either. Although, I more identify with FTM's.





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LightlyLuke

Quote from: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy on June 05, 2011, 09:54:20 AM
Angrogyne means something different for everyone?

Labels are slippery that way.
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Jaimey

Quote from: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy on June 05, 2011, 09:54:20 AM
Thanks guys. I guess Angrogyne means something different for everyone?

Pretty much.  Some people prefer genderqueer as the umbrella term, some androgyne.  It's all about what feels best to you.  This is kind of uncharted territory, so we just have to make it up as we go.  :)
If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
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LordKAT

Quote from: Jaimey on June 06, 2011, 02:21:15 AM
  This is kind of uncharted territory, so we just have to make it up as we go.  :)



Sorry to butt in. This statement sounds like life to me. We are born, we explore the world around us and how we fit in (making it up as we go), we die.
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Darrin Scott

Quote from: Jaimey on June 06, 2011, 02:21:15 AM
Pretty much.  Some people prefer genderqueer as the umbrella term, some androgyne.  It's all about what feels best to you.  This is kind of uncharted territory, so we just have to make it up as we go.  :)

See that's interesting because a lot of androgyne people here seem to feel like they have both characteristics of male and female and I really don't feel that way. I mean, I am biologically female and therefore have all the bio stuff that goes along with that, but apart from all that stuff it's pretty much male. I don't want a penis, but sometimes think about hormones and surgery. I don't want to quite make the jump to FTM because I don't think that suits me, either.





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LilDoberman

Welcome aboard.  I tried to reach out a bit to you on the FTM forum because something in your posts led me to think you might decide to wander over here.
If it helps at all, I could have pretty much written your post.  Being unique doesn't make you alone.
--Deanne  :P
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Jaimey

Quote from: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy on June 06, 2011, 09:35:04 AM
See that's interesting because a lot of androgyne people here seem to feel like they have both characteristics of male and female

...I'm not sure I've had the same experience with people on here, but it may just be different interpretations.  There are definitely several people who have mentioned going between or having aspects of both, but I think there are just as many who don't and we do seem to have a million terms to choose from.  It's just a difficult thing to understand.  And labels are just that: labels.  :)
If curiosity really killed the cat, I'd already be dead. :laugh:

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." GWC
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Darrin Scott

Quote from: LilDoberman on June 06, 2011, 05:42:39 PM
Welcome aboard.  I tried to reach out a bit to you on the FTM forum because something in your posts led me to think you might decide to wander over here.
If it helps at all, I could have pretty much written your post.  Being unique doesn't make you alone.

Thanks. You were quite helpful with binders.





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Eva Marie

Quote from: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy on June 06, 2011, 09:35:04 AM
See that's interesting because a lot of androgyne people here seem to feel like they have both characteristics of male and female and I really don't feel that way. I mean, I am biologically female and therefore have all the bio stuff that goes along with that, but apart from all that stuff it's pretty much male. I don't want a penis, but sometimes think about hormones and surgery. I don't want to quite make the jump to FTM because I don't think that suits me, either.

That's one of the things that makes this corner of the unicorn forest interesting - although we share a similar journey none of us is exactly the same, and none of us will ever tell you that you are doing it wrong. We welcome all that want to come visit our little group, and hope that some find a home here. The only requirement for you to belong here is for you to feel like you belong here.
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Darrin Scott

Quote from: riven1 on June 09, 2011, 05:41:44 PM
That's one of the things that makes this corner of the unicorn forest interesting - although we share a similar journey none of us is exactly the same, and none of us will ever tell you that you are doing it wrong. We welcome all that want to come visit our little group, and hope that some find a home here. The only requirement for you to belong here is for you to feel like you belong here.

Why thank you! I think it's an interesting journey for sure. I can't wait to see what happens!

Today I got a call from the hospital that would be doing my reduction. They still need my Dr.'s referral. My Dr.'s office said they sent it, but the hospital said they never got it. Typical. I'm thinking I might get the reduction first. I'm not sure if I should bring up the idea of a chest reconstruction with the surgeon if I'm not 100% sure I want to do that. I do want to know it won't cause any issues if I decide to do it in the future. I'm also concerned it might put him/her off of surgery or might mess with my insurance. Any ideas?





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tekla

Gender is crazy!

And beyond that, the people who think it's somehow 'important' tend to be insane.  So think of us as the gender dropouts. 

Most of those people are 'staunch defenders of the gender binary' to which all I can say is:  "Hey I can count past two, watch me... One, Two, Three!  Want me to go further?  I can."
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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ativan

I refuse to think of us as the gender dropouts.

We are a part of the future were this insane concern about gender will subside.

We are the 'Gold Standard' so to speak of the future.

If the population was truthful to themselves, there would be far more Androgyn (as the umbrella term) than any thing else.

We are the 'Genderplex', that people will make all comparisons to. They will wonder if they are even in the top ten, with us being #1.

I refuse to be looked at as a dropout of any kind. Let the binaries be their own staunch defenders of an archaic philosophy.

We are the beginning of what the gender world is going to be.
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tekla

Tune in, turn on, drop out.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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espo

I don't want to be genderplex or gender fluid, I want to be one or the other. I want to be male or female not both or neither.
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