Why must it be?

[Sharky]

I'm paranoid that people are watching the fatty attempting hard labor and laughing at my awkwardness.

Look you said yourself, your paranoid. You paranoia really seems to be crippling you. Have you considered getting help for this? And maybe a goal setting group?

I was horribly uncoordinated all around as a kid, and the ability to walk without falling finally set in at about 14, and at maybe around age 26, I've been able to move my fingers independently much better, but still not fast enough to play guitar, but I have hope that my coordination will continue to develop.  (And yes that means I once wasn't able to flip someone off.) 

If you literally can't raise a finger that is way beyond being uncoordinated. I hope me saying this is redundant, but you are seeing a doctor about this, right? That sounds like something is seriously wrong. Wrong enough to make you a candidate for going on disability pay? Maybe?

My aunt had a friend who worked at Teletech, which claims you don't need any experience to work there. So her friend begged, begged and pleased with the HR person there to hire me and that person said they can't have "people like me" work for them

I know you think this is about your weight, but I think it's at least because you had someone begging them to hire you. That sets a very wrong impression. I would never hire someone that has someone begging me to hire them like that, helicoptering for them. That's definitely not the type of person I would want working for me.

The only other factors I could think of would be that I don't come from money and can't get designer name clothes or show up in a Mercedes or a Lexus or something, ya know? Or it could just be me, because in this area, I've been known since kindergarten as the town joke. I've always been considered the ugliest person in the world. People around here think I'm outrageously, unbelievably, so far beyond hideous like nothing they've ever seen before. People really have extreme reactions to my face here. 

Most people don't come from money. You don't need designer name clothes, you just need to look good. I got hired in a suit form Kmart. No one is going to be checking the label.  Most people don't have luxury cars either. I don't even own any type of car. It is you. It's not because your ugly, which I don't even think you are. It's not because you don't deserve to be part of the world, because you do. It's not because you are worthless, because you're not. There was a time where everyone wasn't good enough for a job they now have. You just have to make yourself good enough. Does everyone in your town actually know you?

If I didn't have any pets to worry about, I'd have been gone years ago. But with pets, and without money, there's no way out.

Be sure not to get anymore pets. You can't put an animal's life before yours forever. I don't know the life span of the pets you have, but if they still got a long life ahead of them, maybe you should rehome, or find a way to take them with you.

That's what I'm trying to do, but I guess some people think it's hopeless since I didn't start out in life thin, good looking and appearing to be from an upper class family. I'm doing the best I can. So they don't hire fat people for anything. I'm trying to lose weight. And being male will take off the HUGE burden of having to be beautiful to get a job.

About half of America isn't thin or even that good looking. Most people aren't from an upper class family. If you think this is the best you can do, you're  underestimating your abilities. Fat people do get hired, unattractive women do get hired. I hope your main reasons  for transitioning aren't just because you don't think you make a pretty girl.


Do you even have a resume?

[sascraps]

Just to clarify, I'm not retarded or disabled. I have a 137 IQ. I was SERIOUSLY uncoordinated growing up, and I'm still not a sculptor or anything, but my coordination has way improved.

[tekla]

No one is saying you're worthless, they are just trying to give you realistic help because often failure is not the result of failing as much as its the product of unrealistic expectations.

You don't need designer clothes (really they impress no one important), but you do need clothes that are appropriate to what you are going to do, that fit you right, that are clean and cared for.  No one cares what kind of car you show up in unless it's some sort of car job.

Life is not much kinder to heavily overweight men.  And other areas of the country are much less restrained about overt discrimination.

I actually have experience doing concerts. But that's another story
I don't know, it's my story.  I've been doing that kind of work since I was 16 and gave up a tenured teaching job at a university because in the end I just loved doing the shows more (That it paid better was just a bonus).  I make (take-home) about $500+ a show but that's for a 12-16 hour day.  It's not consistent, so you have to pace and budget yourself, still...  And on days when were really in production, well I've had weeks where I have not left that building for five days straight, I just sleep in my office, get up and do it again.  Which makes it hard to have pets.

And, while we're on the subject, are they really that important?  Wouldn't you rather have a better life without pets, or continue the one your in with your pets?  Some choices are hard.

[Cindy]

Just to step in on the interview area.

I conduct a lot of job interviews. In my are a of work it can be for  a newbie or someone with heaps of experience. But the rules are much the same.

Resume. Tell the truth, use dot points so that I can see the information. If you have long periods of being unemployed or difficulty getting employed tell me what you were doing. If you are having problems getting a job what have you been doing. Sitting on my arse worrying about it doesn't count.  Acting as a volunteer for a worthwhile cause does. Unpaid employment also counts. Etc. Make it short and snappy. I will be looking at 50 plus of these and I don't have time to extract the information, you need to present it.

Covering letter. Address the job specifications. Tell me why you can do the job. Make damn sure the spelling is correct. Make sure you spell the names of people correctly. I once culled 90% of applications because they got the names of the two people wanting to employ a person wrong. They had common names but unusual spelling of them, if  an applicant doesn't have the attention to spell my name correctly, they are useless for my line of work. I need people who are attentive to detail.

Interview. Be clean. Don't smell. Clean your teeth. Dress in a neutral manner. For woman slacks and blouse, or a skirt or whatever, don't turn up looking like a hooker, unless that is the job.  For guys again slacks and a clean shirt. I don't care if the clothes are the latest fashion, or are old. As long as you present as a person who cares about themselves. This might be sexist. If you are wearing a blouse, I really don't need to see the puppies, dress conservatively. If a guy, don't wear really tight trousers I'm not interested in the size of the bulge (and yes I have had both, including a young lady who made sure that she leaned forward far enough so we knew the colour of her bra. Didn't impress me, and the guys on the panel didn't seem interested either.).  Think carefully about tats etc. General labour type jobs can look like anything. Consumer care or (sexist again) working in a 'female environment, Aggressive tattoos are a no no.  I know I have said this before but I did interview a young man who seemed very pleasant, except he had very visible Nazi tatoos and his knuckles had love hate tats, and he had very short hair and he looked like a skin head. No way would I take a risk and employ him in a position that meant working mainly female staff. Yes it was discrimination and it is practiced all the time. It is also known as risk management.

During the interview be enthusiastic, without going over the top. Make sure you have done your research. You have to know what the company does etc. It's all available on the Internet. Have some question for the panel, and not how much will I get paid etc.

Answer the questions clearly and precisely. Don't waffle, and don't give one word answers unless it is obvious that is what is required.

Be prepared to put in the extra. People want team players who can think for themselves. Be prepared for such questions. You can Google interview questions, practice answers
to them depending upon the job you are applying for.

How to not get a job at interview. Smell. Look like a slob. Don't communicate. Don't be aware of what the job is. Present yourself as a person who will not get along with co-workers, be disinterested.

Things that don't matter a damn and you worry about. Physical appearance, unless there is a particular job specification.  Quality of clothing, just be neat.  Being nervous. 

Things you have to do. Be on time.  Be polite. Be responsive. Sell your qualities. Be honest.

Cindy

[asher]

Commenting on the original losing weight issue here

Just wanted to let you know there is a site called loseit.com that I use, where you put in the food you eat during the day and it keeps a record for you of food you ate and exercise you did.

Reason I'm mentioning though, someone talked about your metabolic rate slowing down if you drop calorie intake too quickly, and that is very true. What loseit does that is unique is it gives you a limit (depending on age, weight, height, sex and how quickly you want to lose, limit is 2 lbs a week) and starts you off slow, as you lose more weight the limit drops to accommodate, keeping your body from going into hyper starvation mode and also giving you a smooth and easy decline in calorie intake, so you get used to it more easily.
I have never stayed on a diet so long before, eating less feels very natural now, I get full easier, I never have felt like I was starving doing it either. I've been on it since november and lost about 25 lbs so far, so it's a little slow going, but that's the kind you want to keep the weight off, as that is the kind that becomes a lifestyle changer rather than just a fad diet

By the way, you can also share your progress on facebook and twitter through it. Not sure about the pronouns issue though as I've never done it :/