Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: -JR- on April 03, 2012, 12:23:57 PM Return to Full Version

Title: when to get a job?
Post by: -JR- on April 03, 2012, 12:23:57 PM
(removed)
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Adio on April 03, 2012, 02:07:17 PM
It's really up to you which route you choose.  How badly do you need the money?  Personally, I have enough that even though I'm underemployed, I'm not hurting at the moment.  But that's not true for everyone.  You have look at your situation and see if you could hold off for a couple months.

Name changes could take a couple weeks to a couple months.  Is "a few months" the average time for you area?  Or just the average time that you've heard from all over?  It could be different in your case.

Also, some jobs will allow you to have your chosen/preferred non-legal name on name tags.  If you can be choosey, try to find a company that will allow you to do that.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Hikari on April 03, 2012, 02:28:24 PM
My advice in that situation is to try and get a job at one of the companies that don't discriminate such as target or best buy. I am not sure what skills you have but they are.pretty easy to get into.

When I worked at Target I got them to put a gender neutral name on my nametag, despite not having that name legally. The he people were just like "sure if that's what you wanna be called" it was a non issue. While their pay was Crappy Target did everything they could to insure good morale. The management teams at some stores might not be as open as mine was, but company policy would still be on your side.

I think having a job is always better than not, I know being financially idependant from my spouse is the best thing i have ever done to put myself in a posistion where i cqn actually afford to transition. Though, you won't make enough to do too much at a place like best buy or target, I am sure you would appreciate the independence.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: King Malachite on April 03, 2012, 03:13:20 PM
Maybe you could get a temporary job with your birth name and after you change it you can find another job and then present your new legal name then?

If it was me personally I would just wait because I don't want to go through all that red tape of explaining.  That may or may not work for you though.  However like Hikari said having a job is always better than not.  Perhap you can do freelance stuff for money and cut back while waiting?

It's really about how you feel though and what ranks higher on your principles though.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Robert Scott on April 03, 2012, 03:27:55 PM
Are you sure it takes a couple months to get your name changed?  I filed my paperwork and had a court appearance within 3 weeks. 

Have a male name w/o T isn't really an issue -- employers will have to call you by your legal name.

I personally started going by my male name a year before I got on T or my name change ---- I am going tomorrow to court to legally become Robert -- it is what it is.

I did have a talk with my HR department b/c I am changing my gender on my driver's license but want to leave my gender f until by hysto so since i get my insurance through my company i had to explain that -- they could care less. 

I also said I didn't want it to be a big deal and everyone be told -- and if they have someone question to just send them to me.  They were like no problem.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Nygeel on April 03, 2012, 03:33:52 PM
Right now I haven't changed my name, but have been presenting as male for a number of years. I'm on the job hunt and having a lot of troubles finding places. Currently my resume and how I'm applying is first initial of my preferred name, and my last name. Not the best idea, but it's all I could think of. Try to get a job and be you now, but if you're unable to find a place you're comfortable with then don't work until you have your name legally changed.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Felix on April 04, 2012, 02:09:33 AM
You should be able to put whatever you want on your name tag. Your T shouldn't cost more than ten or twenty dollars a month. My name change took a couple months and I was told that was really quick where I live. You won't be stealth with your boss even after a name change, most likely, so I'd focus more on the attitude of your employer than what the actual papers say.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Zerro on April 04, 2012, 12:23:20 PM
I work at an optometrist's office as a tech and salesman, no name tags needed. Look into an office job, maybe? Most places of business like that tend not to put name tags on their employees. Unless you're working in a hospital as a nurse or tech, I suppose? D:
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Felix on April 05, 2012, 01:17:50 AM
Quote from: -JR- on April 04, 2012, 09:33:52 AM
thanks guys, I'm not hurting for money yet but I'm going to have to have an income shortly after I start T because my husband is going to be a lot less willing to pay for anything for me. All I'm going on right now is what ive read online regarding name changes in my state, I guess ill go and see what the proceedings here are like and how long it usually takes for a name change and go from there.

Felix $10-20? that's good to know I was expecting T to be a bit more expensive for some reason but aren't there initial tests that have to be done before you can even start T? I very much doubt anything regarding this will be covered under my insurance so ill have to pay for those too.
I can't think of any insurance company who will ever deny the basic blood counts and liver panels required to make sure you're okay for T, as those same tests are used for so many patients in so many circumstances. It's about $200 a pop for the labwork if you're uninsured where I live, though. The main problem with insurance as far as this goes is that some companies will get you on their radar when you start having the same bloodwork more than a couple times a year.

And the T price does depend on dose. We aren't allowed to discuss specific dosages on this site, but I paid $52 for a bottle that lasts me 5 months. It's hard to pay for all at once like that, but overall it's not costly. I got my needles free. I paid $8 for a sharps bin, which I think I won't do next time. Check your local regulations regarding sharps.

If you want gel or implants or something you'll pay a lot more. If you want to monitor your actual T levels - which I don't put much faith in, as they vary so much and the effects on your body are a better indicator - that will be hard to get most insurance to cover.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Ayden on April 05, 2012, 02:22:05 AM
Quote from: Felix on April 05, 2012, 01:17:50 AM
I paid $52 for a bottle that lasts me 5 months. It's hard to pay for all at once like that, but overall it's not costly.

My T cost me about 12 dollars for 5 months, and that was including the needles. If you do injections, from my understanding, it isn't as expensive.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Nygeel on April 05, 2012, 07:05:26 AM
Quote from: Ayden on April 05, 2012, 02:22:05 AM
My T cost me about 12 dollars for 5 months, and that was including the needles. If you do injections, from my understanding, it isn't as expensive.
I do injections and paid anywhere from $35-$120 for about 5 months of T.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Robert Scott on April 05, 2012, 10:48:04 AM
My T & Needles & Syringes cost me $4 everytime I pick it up --- usually it's every 2 months ---- however, my insurance covers most of it --- if I had to pay straight out for it at my pharmancy it would cost $65
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Jayr on April 05, 2012, 10:58:03 AM
Here's an idea. Shut up and put up.
It's not the end of the world to have your birth name on a name tag.
Does it suck? Hell yes. But sometimes you just have to shut up and deal with it.
Unless you want to be broke of course.

Once you got all your cash for everything(name change, Testosterone..)
Come out to your boss or find a new job.

Personally I'd rather find a job now, as a ''chick'', deal with it, make money, transition and later explain.
Than sit around doing nothing. My opinion.


Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: GentlemanRDP on April 05, 2012, 11:27:35 AM
I definitely know how you feel, I've been in your position too.
I avoided getting a new job for a while, but I've started putting in applications again.
Now, when I do resumes, I put underneath my birthname "Preferred name," And then I enter my chosen name.
Most employers are very understanding of this.
Some applications even have a section for preferred names like Starbucks.

But of course, if you've got a very feminine name and are trying to go stealth, this might caught some problems.
My birth name is fairly androgynous so even when I go by it, people still call me a 'he' without changing their opinion.

Good luck!


Also

Quote from: Jayr on April 05, 2012, 10:58:03 AM
Here's an idea. Shut up and put up.
It's not the end of the world to have your birth name on a name tag.

To some of us, depending on level of dysphoria, being addressed as your birth name is the end of the world, or worse.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Jayr on April 05, 2012, 11:36:33 AM
Trust me I know.

But guess what; no money, you keep that name and no t for you.
Suffer a bit and it'll be all better much faster.

That's what I'm doing, and yes I hate it.
But I keep in mind I'll be able to transition thanks to that.




Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 12:05:28 PM
I'm actually in the same situation. I would put up with it if I wasn't on T, but I am. I have been for 5 months and I pass as male 100 percent of the time. It would be awkward as hell having to put my legal name on my name tag. I am hurting for money though. I'm a broke college student, who has just depleted the last of his funds for the summer. My dad switched jobs a few months ago, so I had to go without insurance for that time. Testosterone costs, blood work, etc caused a HUGE hole in my pocket. Not to mention the amount of school books I needed this semester, and used were still almost 200 dollars - even online.

I have barely been able to afford food, let alone eat healthily and that in itself is causing a huge health issue for me.

I need money. I do not have enough for rent next month, and will have around 10 dollars left after I pay bills next week.

The problem I have, is finding an employee that will not allow me to present as male at work, and because I live in a small college town, a lot of people that I know will see. I'm stealth. This is a huge problem for me. Not to mention the fact that this small town is also located in one of the most bigoted states in the nation; which also presents a safety issue.

However, I can only do what I can do, and there's really no choice to merely hold off.

I wanted to legally change my name before pursuing a job, but at this time that is not possible. I have been selling stuff on ebay just to stay afloat for the past month. I will, however, use my preferred first name on all of my resumes and explain that it is the name that I go by and the name that I will legally be changing to.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Jayr on April 05, 2012, 12:17:31 PM
Awwh! I'm sorry man! And yeah being on t makes it different.
Which is why I want save money for both t and name change before doing anything.
So I'm not stuck in an awkward phase.

I wish I could help, but my ass is poor too D:
Hope things get better for you.



Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Nygeel on April 05, 2012, 12:31:44 PM
My situation is that I've been on T for a year and four months, haven't had my name changed yet, and living as male as much as I could for a few years (although I don't pass). Trying to find a job in this situation bites.

I feel like the options are (if you feel you absolutely need to work as you identify) that you should either apply as female and come out on the interview, or apply as female and come out when you're offered the job. Waiting until you have the right documents would be way easier.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Robert Scott on April 05, 2012, 02:47:31 PM
Quote from: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 12:05:28 PM
I'm actually in the same situation. I would put up with it if I wasn't on T, but I am. I have been for 5 months and I pass as male 100 percent of the time. It would be awkward as hell having to put my legal name on my name tag.
I need money. I do not have enough for rent next month, and will have around 10 dollars left after I pay bills next week.

The problem I have, is finding an employee that will not allow me to present as male at work, and because I live in a small college town, a lot of people that I know will see. I'm stealth. This is a huge problem for me. Not to mention the fact that this small town is also located in one of the most bigoted states in the nation; which also presents a safety issue.

However, I can only do what I can do, and there's really no choice to merely hold off.

I wanted to legally change my name before pursuing a job, but at this time that is not possible. I have been selling stuff on ebay just to stay afloat for the past month. I will, however, use my preferred first name on all of my resumes and explain that it is the name that I go by and the name that I will legally be changing to.

All states have a process for waiving the court cost --- I do it all the time for my clients here in Minnesota.  I have helped several guys here located the paperwork for their state.  Money should not be the issue for you not getting your name changed.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 04:03:02 PM
Quote from: Robert Scott on April 05, 2012, 02:47:31 PM
All states have a process for waiving the court cost --- I do it all the time for my clients here in Minnesota.  I have helped several guys here located the paperwork for their state.  Money should not be the issue for you not getting your name changed.

What process? I am not aware of any processes in TN to do this. None of the support groups from TN have ever mentioned it; the only thing that I have ever been told is regarding free paperwork, but I had already bought the paperwork by then(cost me 50, I believe). I have all the name change papers, I just haven't filed them because it costs 150 dollars for filing fees; and that's 150 dollars that I do not have.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Epi on April 05, 2012, 05:23:49 PM
Quote from: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 04:03:02 PM
What process? I am not aware of any processes in TN to do this. None of the support groups from TN have ever mentioned it; the only thing that I have ever been told is regarding free paperwork, but I had already bought the paperwork by then(cost me 50, I believe). I have all the name change papers, I just haven't filed them because it costs 150 dollars for filing fees; and that's 150 dollars that I do not have.

In addition to filing your paperwork with the court you would also fill out a fee waiver with that.  Any documents filed under that docket number the fees for filing are waived.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 09:49:30 PM
I don't really see how someone who is voluntarily changing their name can be eligible for a fee waiver though... I don't see it happening in my county. I can try, but I just don't see it happening due to the nature in which I am changing my name.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Adio on April 05, 2012, 10:05:51 PM
Quote from: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 09:49:30 PM
I don't really see how someone who is voluntarily changing their name can be eligible for a fee waiver though... I don't see it happening in my county. I can try, but I just don't see it happening due to the nature in which I am changing my name.

It's getting late here, but I can't figure out a situation where a name change wouldn't be voluntary?  Maybe if it's for an unwilling/opposing minor, I suppose.  So it's worth a shot to try the waiver.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 10:48:02 PM
Quote from: Adio on April 05, 2012, 10:05:51 PM
It's getting late here, but I can't figure out a situation where a name change wouldn't be voluntary?  Maybe if it's for an unwilling/opposing minor, I suppose.  So it's worth a shot to try the waiver.

I meant all voluntary first name changes. I just don't see how they would waive the fee. I'm not very educated on legal matters, so idk.. but it just seems odd to me. I'm also a dependent on my father for school and government purposes, so wouldn't that play into it as well? T_T I really don't know.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: lexical on April 05, 2012, 11:20:59 PM
Quote from: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 10:48:02 PM
I meant all voluntary first name changes. I just don't see how they would waive the fee. I'm not very educated on legal matters, so idk.. but it just seems odd to me. I'm also a dependent on my father for school and government purposes, so wouldn't that play into it as well? T_T I really don't know.

It is possible to get filing fees waived for name changes in the US, it's called filing as an indigent. I think the process for applying for indigent status varies by state, so you'll want to look into that. They look at your assets, how much you make, and how much you spend on living necessities each month... basically they're looking to see if you fall below the federal poverty guidelines. However since you're dependent on a parent for gov't purposes, you may not qualify even if you yourself meet the requirements. Not sure though. Either way it's something worth looking into.
Title: Re: when to get a job?
Post by: Robert Scott on April 06, 2012, 02:19:39 PM
Quote from: Hayzer12 on April 05, 2012, 09:49:30 PM
I don't really see how someone who is voluntarily changing their name can be eligible for a fee waiver though... I don't see it happening in my county. I can try, but I just don't see it happening due to the nature in which I am changing my name.

It's not a matter of voluntary change or what not --- it's that you can't change your name without a court process in the USA -- and no one should be denied the ability to change their name simply because they can't afford the court cost -- it's an infringement on your liberty.  The same holds true for divorces, marriages and assortment of other things