Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Thank you for taking part in this poll and sharing your personal experience! :icon_biggrin:
If you would like to post a response below, please let us know your gender identification - CD, FtM, MtF, Bi-gendered, Neutrois, Androgyne, etc.

-Emerald  :icon_mrgreen:

QuoteAcute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation. - 1 (50%)

I pondered the "Substantial GID" option but I honestly can not say I have chosen this path by "opting" for surgery. ^*shrug* I am afraid I am one of the "do or die" types.

I am, however, at ease most of the time as I am rather good at dealing with unpleasant situations it would seem.

But uh, yeah. SRS is in my future, oh well.

Gender Identification: MtF
I suppose that is easier than girl -> boy mask -> removal of boy mask -> girl...
;)

Resolved with transition and surgery.  MTF

Cindi

I am refusing to Catergories myself these days. I am on a just Al (Alan & Alice). I do not know where I will end up - I am still hoping that I will not need HRT ETC.

Al

Good one Alice.
The choice was difficult. I hesitated a lot between 2 and 10.
Thanks to Susan's place, with the acceptance and support from my SOs, children, friends and a lot of others who are aware of my nature, over the last few years I have eventually reached a stage where I think I know who I am and am happy with and even proud of  my transgender identity. For these reasons I had to eliminate all references to dysphoria or disfunctions and voted No2.
For the moment I have found my own way to integrate and express my bi-gender identity. My male and female sides are not in conflict anymore but complement and support each others.  I do not like labels but CDism, TVism or Androginy with some She-male leaning might be the closest way to describe how its expression might best look from the outside.

HLLL&R

Maebh

Very Interesting Maebh,

You are where I want to end up Maebh. I have always identified and been a happy male - I just need to know how well I can control my depression.

Alice

Quote from: Alice on May 05, 2007, 06:30:15 AM
Very Interesting Maebh,

You are where I want to end up Maebh. I have always identified and been a happy male - I just need to know how well I can control my depression.

Alice

Go raibh maith agat Alice Thanks a  :icon_bunch: Alice.

Believe me depression and me go back a long way.  But I have learned a few things along the way and we are old pals now. I don't know if you can relate to them but I will share them anyway.

1. I came to realise that in my case depression was due to the lack of energy left because I used so much of it to control my anger and frustration.

2. But when I let my anger rip at the most unaproprate moment and against totaly innocent recipients, afterwards I even felt worst and guilty. I ended up hating myself for hurting the ones closer to me. So I turned it inward and felt even more depressed.

3. I then realised that even in the grip of the blackest despair this was only a transcient phase and that if I rided it I would eventualy come out at the other end. So I learned to be patient with myself and to live with it. (Bipolar?)

4. From my prison experiences I instinctively knew that the lack of light, exercise and fresh air had a huge bearing on my state of mind. So now when I feel it coming I take myself out into nature, forests, fields, mountains, rivers, sea, away from a man made world with its pressures, noises and polutions. Walking barefeet, letting the wind play with my hair, the sun, the rain or the water caressing my skin I reconnect with and fulfill a deep atavistic need . (SAD?)

5. One day, after getting in an other fight at my brother's funeral, I realised that due to my Male Corsican upbringing I could not allow myself to feel grief. Of course this was the cause of a lot of frustration and anger (Vendetta). So now I have learned to give myself permission to cry and sob when I need to. In doing so I free myself of old feelings that I had held back for so long. Also instead of denying my feelings  at least I first acknowledge them which ease the pressure a lot and if needed I can also find ways to express them in a natural and physical way. 

6. Everyday in my spiritual practice I make a point to appreciate my blessings and celebrate my achievements.

7. I don't allow others to drag me down into negativity anymore. Instead I use my wild and untamed humour to escape and lighten-up the drama.

8. I am getting better at not isolating myself. I am learning to trust and share with others, creating mutually supportive and respectful relationships and networks.

Yes, writing all of this I realise how far I have come. Still I know that it will always be a struggle. But of course I am an old (and hopefully wiser) Warrior.  Anyway, believe me there is still some quicks left in the old beast! :icon_2gun:  Life is full of challenges and never boring.

I hope some of this can be helpful. Don't give up and more importantly enjoy the journey. Go n-éirí do bhóthar leat You too will find your own way.

Hope, Light, Laughter, Love and Respect

Maebh

Good Poll Emerald, great Contribution. :)

In a month I will turn 70 and be 7 years postop.  GID flew out the window on my 63rd birthday.

Emerald, it is sooooo good to 'see' you here again.  You have been missed by many.

Hugs.

Robyn
fka reikirobyn

Hi Emerald,

It took me a lifetime to face my issues.  Actually I though no one would have issues similar to me and no one could ever get married and have these issues.  My issues seem severe with untreatable depression for over 30 years.  However since I have not been able to talk face-to-face with people I will pick 5.

Gender Variant/Gender Dysphoria/Mild GID - I have gender related issues to be resolved with non-SRS surgical procedures.

Currently these issues are unresolved and I am withdrawing into myself.  It is more like unknown, unaccepted,  and untreated.  However I am trying to get to the last option of solving these issues with friends I will never meet.

Thanks.
W

Intergendered Androgyne (with slight Fluidity)

Moderate Gender Dysphoria - I have gender dysphoria which can be resolved by non-surgical medical means.

I Answered this. The only surgery I would consider is if my breast size isnt large enough for me, which so far hasnt been an issue, but may eventually change.

KK

Quote from: Maebh on May 05, 2007, 12:49:46 PM

Quote from: Alice on May 05, 2007, 06:30:15 AM
Very Interesting Maebh,

You are where I want to end up Maebh. I have always identified and been a happy male - I just need to know how well I can control my depression.

Alice

Go raibh maith agat Alice Thanks a  :icon_bunch: Alice.

Believe me depression and me go back a long way.  But I have learned a few things along the way and we are old pals now. I don't know if you can relate to them but I will share them anyway.

.
.
.

I hope some of this can be helpful. Don't give up and more importantly enjoy the journey. Go n-éirí do bhóthar leat You too will find your own way.

Hope, Light, Laughter, Love and Respect

Maebh

Maebh,

I is always helpful to know what & where others have come from. This is certainly a Journey that I am on. Thankyou for your post.

Alice

Things are continually changing so I have not voted. I only know that my gender issues are real.
Jillieann

Quote from: Wendy on May 05, 2007, 03:17:06 PM
It took me a lifetime to face my issues.  Actually I though no one would have issues similar to me and no one could ever get married and have these issues.  My issues seem severe with untreatable depression for over 30 years.  However since I have not been able to talk face-to-face with people I will pick 5.

Gender Variant/Gender Dysphoria/Mild GID - I have gender related issues to be resolved with non-SRS surgical procedures.

Currently these issues are unresolved and I am withdrawing into myself.  It is more like unknown, unaccepted,  and untreated.  However I am trying to get to the last option of solving these issues with friends I will never meet.

I echo a lot of this, and chose the same option.  For those of us still on the road to self-discovery, it would have been good to put a choice for being in flux.

Interesting poll.  Thanks.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Acute. I'll never stop. I have 42 lost years of girlhood to reclaim, and I'll never again compromise my needs.

~Kate~

QuoteGender Variant/Gender Dysphoria/Mild GID - I have gender related issues to be resolved with non-SRS surgical procedures.

   This comes closest to me right now. I think I would have liked to have seen the same option but with an indication that there may be a change in the future.

   I believe that I am MTF because sometimes it hurts when I see other women and I know I am not like them. I don't think of myself as an androgyne or any of the other choices in the message you left with the poll. I never am male.

Acute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation.

I see GRS as my only solution to be free of GID.

I entered 'Mild GID.'
Why? Because.. Ehm.. Well, I sometimes feel very odd being a male. I'm kind of bi-gendered... And that sometimes feels a bit eldritch. That, and I often long to be fully female. But as it is now, it's not as if it's a 'get fixed or die' situation.

QuoteMedically Resolved GID - I received medical/surgical attention for my gender issues, I no longer have gender dysphoria

And by medically, in my case, it means SRS, HRT, and therapy.

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Kate on May 05, 2007, 09:27:36 PM
Acute. I'll never stop. I have 42 lost years of girlhood to reclaim, and I'll never again compromise my needs.

Just to clarify a bit, even though I picked "SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation..." it's not that I'm focused on SRS to solve my GID, but rather that it's a critical piece of a larger puzzle. I could as easily say, "HRT is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation..." as well; in fact, HRT is more important to me. Still, in the end, I need, and will have, both.

~Kate~

I picked #4 Mild gender. I have felt uncomfortable as male and have longed to be fully female someday. But I don't really know what the future holds fo rme as for a full transition. Half of me wants to be female while the other half needs to stay male for the time being. It's been a tug of war for me.

Linda Ann

Love being female :angel:

For me it was:

Acute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation.

Foregoing surgery is NOT an option for me.  I still feel dysphoria on a daily basis even though I've been fulltime for a while and it is almost all directly related to my genitals.

I selected Gender Variant/No Dysphoria.

I am female-born but live more toward the middle of the female/male continuum. Society is not harsh about the way I bend and I'm happy where I am.

-- Sue

I have survire GID and Gender Disforia but at present are not taking HRT or requiring surgery. This may well change in the futor so I am not taking part in this poll as of yet

I know that I have GID, however I'm not sure to what extent. I know I am a woman inside and I need to transition, as for SRS i'm not sure at this point. I wish there was a way to see the future..........

Quote from: Kimberly on May 05, 2007, 01:06:10 AM

QuoteAcute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation. - 1 (50%)

I pondered the "Substantial GID" option but I honestly can not say I have chosen this path by "opting" for surgery. ^*shrug* I am afraid I am one of the "do or die" types.

I am, however, at ease most of the time as I am rather good at dealing with unpleasant situations it would seem.

But uh, yeah. SRS is in my future, oh well.

Gender Identification: MtF

Kimberley's words describe how I feel about it. Call it substantial GID verging upon acute.

By now I am very clear in my mind that I want the surgery, I just don't know yet how it will become feasible, or when. Waiting, hoping... in the meantime I've done my best to make peace with my current situation. And that is getting more difficult as I feel the increase of pressure from within to complete my transition. The intensity of it has kept increasing relentlessly for some years now and shows no sign of abating. Hmm, maybe I'm over into "Acute GID" territory already. Started out mild, and when it became substantial, I started therapy, and then hormones. But the pressure from within keeps increasing, and now I'm starting to feel desperate to go all the way.

I noticed no one has selected "medically unresolved" or "self-resolved" - this confirms that medical intervention is the solution, that it won't just go away. Often we hear advice to just learn to be comfortable in our originally-assigned gender. This illustrates how that is impossible for GID.

Quote from: Hypatia on May 19, 2007, 11:10:56 PM
I noticed no one has selected "medically unresolved" or "self-resolved" - this confirms that medical intervention is the solution, that it won't just go away. Often we hear advice to just learn to be comfortable in our originally-assigned gender. This illustrates how that is impossible for GID.

As I said in my post when I answered I hesitated between:

- I have some gender dysphoria, but it does not require a medical solution.  2 (4.7%)
and
-Self-resolved Gender Dysphoria - I had gender dysphoria and found a non-medical resolution for my gender issues

Eventually I chose the first one over the the last.

Why? Because of the past tense in the last choice. I do not have a "problem" and so far I have found a way to express both my masculine and feminine sides as complementary instead as opposites. But in the predominant social climate this expression can still be deemed as dysfunctional or not fitting some current culturally imposed norm.

In the light of the debate about >-bleeped-<s, could it be that the lack of answers to this choice might have nothing to do with surgical solution but more so with sociological and cultural attitudes?

I wonder; did anybody else consider that answer and if so why did you decide not to choose it?

HLLL&R

Maebh

I understand, Maebh. I lived as you described for the first few months after I came out, but then it became impossible for me. I've really gone over the cliff. That interval when I had alternating gender presentations was when my fingers were gripping the edge of the cliff. Well, there's no going back now. I'm in this for all I got, it's go for broke. By the end of my first year coming out, I was fulltime woman presentation - sometimes with greater femme intensity, sometimes with less. That's my gender range now.

What's it like going back and forth? All I know is, maleness gives me anxiety attacks. I'm a rape survivor.

Acute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation.

QuoteGender Variant/Gender Dysphoria/Mild GID - I have gender related issues to be resolved with non-SRS surgical procedures.

I need my uterus gone.

Androgyne.

QuoteAcute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation.

Quote from: Hypatia on May 21, 2007, 06:18:08 AM
I understand, Maebh. I lived as you described for the first few months after I came out, but then it became impossible for me. I've really gone over the cliff. That interval when I had alternating gender presentations was when my fingers were gripping the edge of the cliff. Well, there's no going back now. I'm in this for all I got, it's go for broke. By the end of my first year coming out, I was fulltime woman presentation - sometimes with greater femme intensity, sometimes with less. That's my gender range now.

Hypatia I'm so glad you found the way that suits you. I don't feel I am gripping any edge, I'm just gliding following the thermals and diving and soaring again. But who knows? life is a journey so I'll never say never.

Quote
What's it like going back and forth? All I know is, maleness gives me anxiety attacks. I'm a rape survivor.

Fine, I really enjoy my freedom to BE the way I feel without label or restriction. For exemple tonight the friend who was comming for a session was expecting Maebh, but I wasn't in the mood so Yves was there for her and it was fine too.
And yes I am a rape and abuse and torture survivor too. In hell's fire I was inured! which gives me a great sense of strenght and security. Apart from killing me there isn't a lot anybody can do to me that I didn't encounter and survived before.
Of course it gives me a great sense of empathy too.

Hope, Hugs, Light, Laughter, Love and Respect.

Maebh

Where's the going out of my mind option ?  :)

Unquestionably, #7 - Acute and unrelenting  >:( :'(

Utterly MERCILESS driving and I bitterly resented this, for quite a while.

It has driven me to do things which I never conceived that I would do and I have pretty much astounded the local medical community, in so doing.

It has been a cast iron BITCH. >:( >:( >:( :'( :'( :'(

-->Medically Resolved GID - I received medical/surgical attention for my gender issues, I no longer have gender dysphoria.

That's me, happy, female, finally living a life that makes sense to me.

Dawn

I wasn't quite sure if this was the case, but back a few months ago when I thought that SRS was very far out of my reach, I went into a bit of a depression...I had a hard time motivating myself to do things, and I didn't want to be around anyone.  So I'm going to go with "Acute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation."  I just wish that raising the money to do so was easier.

Quote from: Kate on May 06, 2007, 10:42:03 PM

Quote from: Kate on May 05, 2007, 09:27:36 PM
Acute. I'll never stop. I have 42 lost years of girlhood to reclaim, and I'll never again compromise my needs.

Just to clarify a bit, even though I picked "SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation..." it's not that I'm focused on SRS to solve my GID, but rather that it's a critical piece of a larger puzzle. I could as easily say, "HRT is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation..." as well; in fact, HRT is more important to me. Still, in the end, I need, and will have, both.

~Kate~

Exactly how I feel. I did choose Gender Variant/Gender Dysphoria/Mild GID - I have gender related issues to be resolved with non-SRS surgical procedures. because it was the closest one to me. HRT and FFS are what I must have to resolve my issues.

Quote from: Maebh on May 22, 2007, 06:18:29 PMdon't feel I am gripping any edge, I'm just gliding following the thermals and diving and soaring again. But who knows?

I'm happy for you that you can get it to work for you this way. My existence is unrelenting torment.

QuoteAnd yes I am a rape and abuse and torture survivor too. In hell's fire I was inured! which gives me a great sense of strenght and security. Apart from killing me there isn't a lot anybody can do to me that I didn't encounter and survived before.

That's a good perspective. I'd like to borrow it. :)

QuoteOf course it gives me a great sense of empathy too.

You're right, that is the best thing one can say about it.

The problem I find with this kind of poll is that it is itself prescriptive.  Like the DSM-IV, the list itself determines the range of possible outcomes.  The whole idea of a continuum from "slight GID, I can handle it" to "I gotta have surgery" is suspect.  The world is not nearly so simple as that.

Quote from: Lisbeth on May 25, 2007, 01:16:17 PM
The problem I find with this kind of poll is that it is itself prescriptive.  Like the DSM-IV, the list itself determines the range of possible outcomes.  The whole idea of a continuum from "slight GID, I can handle it" to "I gotta have surgery" is suspect.  The world is not nearly so simple as that.

i couldn't have said it better, lisbeth.  i'd like to know the "secret" to handle it.   ::) It'd prevent lots of transsexuals from blowing their brains out. tsk tsk tsk

Quote from: Hypatia on May 25, 2007, 12:22:13 PM

Quote from: Maebh on May 22, 2007, 06:18:29 PM
And yes I am a rape and abuse and torture survivor too. In hell's fire I was inured! which gives me a great sense of strenght and security. Apart from killing me there isn't a lot anybody can do to me that I didn't encounter and survived before.

That's a good perspective. I'd like to borrow it. :)

You're more than very welcome to it.
Having reached this truly powerfull and liberating position has set me free. The abuses and abusers have lost any power or control they ever had on my feelings, thoughts or behaviour. It means that I can never be a victim again. And the empathy means that I love sharing this message of hope and achievement with other who might find it helpfull in their struggle and recovery.


HLLL&R

Maebh

Quote from: Katia on May 25, 2007, 05:20:36 PM

Quote from: Lisbeth on May 25, 2007, 01:16:17 PM
The problem I find with this kind of poll is that it is itself prescriptive.  Like the DSM-IV, the list itself determines the range of possible outcomes.  The whole idea of a continuum from "slight GID, I can handle it" to "I gotta have surgery" is suspect.  The world is not nearly so simple as that.

i couldn't have said it better, lisbeth.  i'd like to know the "secret" to handle it.   ::) It'd prevent lots of transsexuals from blowing their brains out. tsk tsk tsk

    Something else to note is that One's place in the 'continuum' isn't absolute. Some people do a lot of sliding on that scale from one state to another before finally finding where they belong.
   
    I think the "secret" to handling it is not having to hide it. Whether you are a TS or TG, it would be a lot easier if it wasn't such a terrible burden to be carried alone and in fear. Maybe we'll know more in a few years when the younger people here can let us know how they've fared.
   I'm not necessarily saying that it wouldn't still be painful, just maybe not as bad as it's been in the past. This is based on the assumption that the social trend I've been seeing is towards acceptance of us. Better treatment and greater social acceptance.


Just my opinion,

Rebecca

Acute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation.

Quote from: Katia on May 25, 2007, 05:20:36 PMi'd like to know the "secret" to handle it.   ::) It'd prevent lots of transsexuals from blowing their brains out. tsk tsk tsk

Simple: Deny. Just keep telling yourself it isn't that bad. Keep stuffing it down again every time it comes back up. Keep telling yourself there's nothing you can do about it anyway, might as well forget about it.

Not!

That made it get a lot worse over the years. I think Rebecca has the right idea.

Quote from: Pia on May 26, 2007, 12:44:41 AM
Acute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation.

I know, baby.   :'(

And that is one of the reasons why I found myself looking down the barrel of an automatic, so many times...I just wanted it to stop....stop harassing me...stop driving me.

[looking down at her left breast, caressing it thoughtfully...]

And I would make a major step transitionally, hoping and praying...ultimately in futility, that relief and solace would become the ensuing permanent condition, only to realize in horror shortly thereafter that "IT" was only in temporary abeyance and cruelly reasserted itself into my life and mind,

Torturing and harassing me ceaselessly...

"For you to have survived for so many years at this level of TS, is nothing short of miraculous."

Indeed... :'( :'( :'( :'(

Acute GID - I have unrelenting GID, obtaining SRS is an absolutely necessity to resolve my situation. :(

Very soon that will change.

Medically Resolved GID - I received medical/surgical attention for my gender issues, I no longer have gender dysphoria.

I had GRS two years ago and I'm free at last