Susan's Place Transgender Resources

and change/fix one thing in the past , what would it be  ???

I would have stood up for myself when I was outed in high school instead of letting it scare me back into the closet.

I would go back to the very beginning and change a single amino acid on my X chromosome, causing my androgen receptors to not be able to process androgens.  I may still have that Y chromosome, but without the ability to process androgens like testosterone, I'll be born and grow physically a cisfemale.  Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome ftw.

Everything else would fall into place from that...

Nothing.
Unless there was something that could make me a cis guy. Then I'd do that.

I would make sure I wasn't the winning sperm.  I would have stopped at the egg and then let the other sperms duke it out for the chance to be a zygote.

I Have no regrets. Although i do feel a slight envy of erly transitioners with wow hips. Even if I could change to be X chromasomed I wouldnt.

My life no matter how miserable has brought me to an understanding of how difficult life is for so many people. Id never loose that hope to help create a more andro and acepting society. I as I am now have a greater dream then I ever would of had born normal.

Id just slap my 12 years old self in the face

Not sure I'd change anything because what has happened has happened and, butterfly effect being what it is, who knows if any change would have been for the better anyway. But I would like to give 24 year old me (Julie) a hug on that night I cried myself to sleep, and tell myself everything will be OK.

Besides being born as a cis female (of all the sperm this one had to be the fastest). I would beat some sense into my younger self and then drag my sorry self to the school counciler. It might not of done any good but it would of been a start

Other than fundamental issues from before I was conscious, I would go back and stand up for myself more. I would be more vicious and loud. I never had enough ferocity or noise to keep safe or protect other people enough.

I'd stay in middle school :|

Beat the teacher with a metallic baseball bat. Also, college instead of trade school, and anything but IT. Wish I had had my head clear in regards to that years ago, instead of now studying to get my updated IT certifications... to find a job and pay university.

I won't mention "transitioning earlier" or whatever. We all know we would do that if we could.

I could give myself some winning lottery numbers instead of the ones I picked?

i'd beat my 13 year old self with a wooden spoon than make drag her to a therapist to get help

I'd walk out of that jail, and then keep walking instead of going back.

So much as I like to change things for what I think may be for the better, who knows, I may end up making things worst. My life, no matter how crappy it has been for me, well, its my life and has made me who I am as a person.

Going back to change things at an earlier age would be really wonderful, perhaps in my early teens instead of in my 20s. But see, I simply wasn't ready then yet, I had to let time plant the courage in me to do it, come out to family, start dressing as a young lady not only in my own privacy, but going out there and being me no matter how many stares, muttering or giggling I got my way.

I've been through a lot over the years, not just my trans-disposition, family falling apart, mom and I homeless more than once, failing with almost everything I do. Someone has been watching out for me (and my mom) because seriously, regardless of how much has gone wrong, we are still here alive and kickin' (don't know what the @#$% for). Many people's lives suck, some far worst than ours, each to our own, handling it the best we can, some of us (and I'm talking people in general not just those of us with gender issues) can get hit and keep going, others break and their journey is cut short.

If I changed things as drastically as lets say, going back into my mother's womb and somehow coming out a girl instead, what kind of person would I be now? What would my life be like? Would I follow in my mom's footsteps, or go my sister's route, or other? What I be nice or a bitch? Would it really be better? Maybe. But, I bet you I'd still hate much about my life. Though the whole gender thing at least wouldn't be there as an unnecessary complication. Would it? Hell, if I were born a girl I'd probably be suffering the same problem, but wanting to be a guy instead. That'd be a hell of a curse, go back to change my sex and grow up having same issue. Noooooo!

Since my life has happened the way it has, the way I take it now...it was supposed to be this way. Why? I dunno. An understanding. Shrugs. Not something I'm meant to know just yet apparently.

Okay, away from the whole born in the wrong sex body thing, anything else I'd like to change? Again, while I would really like to, such as not getting frustrated and quitting this job or that which I think heavily contributed to the trials my whole family went through, it was necessary. Or how about staying in school instead of dropping out? Ah heck, I got my GED, school didn't do anything for me. Moving on. How about saving money instead of always spending it on one thing or another which none I no longer have so nothing to show for all my hard work? That would certainly give me the money to give me the operation I want more than anything, but having nothing to do with my time for all those years (since I'm not social or a going out type person) I'd been pretty miserable. Besides, something always came up where we needed to use whatever money we tried to save, though I could have saved in secrecy. Oh, there are so many things that I could have changed it'd be crazy to list them all, but what would I have learned? I'm still not sure if I really learned a damn thing at all, what, to fall and pick myself back up again?

One thing that I am glad that I have that if things didn't happen a certain way, I wouldn't have my doggie Snickers. She is a very important part of my life. If I hadn't met her or known her, of coarse I wouldn't know it, having not known her, but maybe she would have had a terrible life. Maybe I would have destroyed myself if she didn't come into my life. One time a couple years ago we (my mom, myself and Snickers) were out walking and a big dog ran up to and attacked her intent to kill, I beat this dog off of her (talk about scary). That day I also made a promise to her, that I'd protect her with my life. I look out for her, she I know would be ever a faithful friend. Hell, when given a choice, a place to live but without her, or homelessness with her, I, as well as mom chose what we knew was right. Other people thought we were crazy, its only a dog! My thoughts on that, well, I'm only a human, what the hell makes me so damn special.

Also, any events changed not only change things for you, but everyone you ever come in contact with. I'm sure in my life I have made some choices that have had a bad impact on another's life, but I also hope that being who I am, and the choices I have made, that I have done some good for someone else too, even if something small.

I've done all sorts of stupid things I wish I didn't, but undoing those would also get rid of any important lessons I learned.

I guess I would have been smarter with my finances throughout the past five years if I had the chance.

That aside, I don't dwell in the past.

Quote from: Kimberley Beauregard on May 13, 2014, 04:39:40 PM
I've done all sorts of stupid things I wish I didn't, but undoing those would also get rid of any important lessons I learned.

I guess I would have been smarter with my finances throughout the past five years if I had the chance.

That aside, I don't dwell in the past.

^THIS^ All of it, except I'd probably have to go back to about 1985 with the finances.  *le sigh*

I probably would have asked a couple people out that I didn't.

I would try and convince my past self there was a world of caring people out there and that I shouldn't be scared into denial of who I am. Wasted a lot of time trying to convince myself I could 'beat' this, never coming any closer to actually doing so.

Whenever I see this thread's title, I get a Rocky Horror Picture Show song stuck in my head.

If I could turn back time.....

I would stop Cher from writing that horrible song.

:D

I would go back to April of 2011 and say "screw the medical bills" for a few weeks and go out of town to see AC on what was their final tour ever. I REALLY regret not doing that.

I chose not to go with gender stuff because...what's the point? What's done is done.

There's two many interconnected F ups, I couldn't fix just one. And even if I did, my lifewould still probably suck. Because by default it doesn't have to suck. I'm lucky in enough ways. But it does. So it always prolly would.

So ya know...this poisons as good as any other. So I'll pass on the time warp.

Thanks, now I can't get Cher out of my head. ;)

I wouldn't waste so many years with that ridiculous homophobic, transphobic, cishet loser I married. Sure, he's a nice guy in many ways, but most of those ways were directed outside of our home. He's kind, chivalrous and generous... but only to friends and strangers; excellent at DIY... as long as it's to improve his parents' house; helpful, supportive and co-operative... but only to his parents; hard-working, dedicated and trustworthy... but only to his parents and his employers.

But to us, his immediate family? Sod us, we've always been at the bottom of his priority list. We made the sacrifices that gave him the time to be such a 'great guy' to everyone else.

So I would've - and should've - divorced him whilst my kids were little. My life would be far more on track now, and my kids would probably find it easier to cope with my transition if I'd done it when they were little.

I would stop my mum taking a wrong turn early one morning that cost us 5 minutes.
An hour later she was dead and I was critical and in intensive care fighting for life after a head on.

She would have left my dad when we were old enough.
She knew my secret and would have helped.
So many things would have been for the better but...

I so miss her she was only 39.

Things went bad and to the worst afterwards.
Horrible.

Quote from: Jenny07 on May 14, 2014, 06:13:12 AM
An hour later she was dead and I was critical and in intensive care fighting for life after a head on.
...
I so miss her she was only 39.

I'm sorry for your loss. Mine also went far too early.

*Hugs*

Quote from: Edge on May 14, 2014, 12:03:09 AM
Whenever I see this thread's title, I get a Rocky Horror Picture Show song stuck in my head.

Its just a jump to the left...

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on May 14, 2014, 12:17:17 AM
If I could turn back time.....

I would stop Cher from writing that horrible song.

:D

I can't agree more

Right now I would have made pizza dough last night so I could make a goat cheese and sundried tomato pie with pesto and pine nuts for myself tonight.  *sigh*

Now I have to get an inferior one delivered.

I would have given all my allowance, christmas and birthday money to my parents and tell them to invest it in Microsoft and Apple stock.

Quote from: Jess42 on May 14, 2014, 12:22:00 PM
I would have given all my allowance, christmas and birthday money to my parents and tell them to invest it in Microsoft and Apple stock.

Oh crap, I want to change my answer XD

If I could go back, and make myself come out of mom as a girl, I would not have ended up in the career I'm in.  I'm not saying Mom/Dad would not have let me do what I am doing, they might have.. me being the oldest of my sibs..  I would have had a different relationship with my sister (youngest), I probably would have been better in school, but I would not have, ever, met my wife, had my two kids, and the joy that my family has brought to my life (barring my issues).  But then, I also, would not have hurt them now.

Honestly, if just one thing.. one single thing, one utterance I could have said...