Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi all,

So basically I'm feeling like I'm all over the board right now. I have my HRT appointment coming up this Thursday (Aug 1st). Blood has been drawn and labs are being done. If all goes well, I will start HRT this week.

Emotionally I feel like I'm bouncing around a bit. For the most part, it's a mix of being emotionally brain dead meh mixed with anxiety. In periods where I'm not feeling emotionally dead, I feel dysphoria and look forward to starting HRT. But when I'm in that emotional brain dead phase, my dysphoria is lessened. I have been diagnosed with Dysthymia which I think might be affecting some of the dysphoria. I am on Escitalopram for that.

I'm also worrying about being able to pass later on in time. During the emotional meh phases, I don't feel much emotion either positive or negative. Basically feels like I'm there but not completely. Like my emotions and happiness are locked up in a vault. I do feel better about myself in the periods between meh when I'm feeling more feminine. Also feels like my locked up emotions are located in my chest/middle back area between my shoulder blades if that makes any sense.

I suppose I'm rambling on a bit here. Has anyone else felt this way or similar before starting HRT? I'm not entirely sure what to expect since YMMV and all that. I'm hoping HRT will unlock that vault, bring peace of mind and more mind body connection as I bring my body into line with my mental gender. Starting HRT is a big unknown and that does scare me a little. Not knowing if it will work for me or not. I feel it will and my therapist does as well. But I do have that worry about what if it doesn't.

Any advice, support, uplifting stories, etc will help.

Thank you,

~Kamyu

Forward is truly a unknown.

Its more what you make of it that shapes the future.

Emotions are always high just before a milestone.

Try and do something you enjoy doing to help calm your mind.

Music,movie,good book or a game.

I wish you the best this week. Then you will start thinking of the next great milestone on the path

Hugs

Quote from: Kamyu on July 27, 2014, 12:38:55 PM
Hi all,

So basically I'm feeling like I'm all over the board right now. I have my HRT appointment coming up this Thursday (Aug 1st). Blood has been drawn and labs are being done. If all goes well, I will start HRT this week.

Emotionally I feel like I'm bouncing around a bit. For the most part, it's a mix of being emotionally brain dead meh mixed with anxiety. In periods where I'm not feeling emotionally dead, I feel dysphoria and look forward to starting HRT. But when I'm in that emotional brain dead phase, my dysphoria is lessened. I have been diagnosed with Dysthymia which I think might be affecting some of the dysphoria. I am on Escitalopram for that.

I'm also worrying about being able to pass later on in time. During the emotional meh phases, I don't feel much emotion either positive or negative. Basically feels like I'm there but not completely. Like my emotions and happiness are locked up in a vault. I do feel better about myself in the periods between meh when I'm feeling more feminine. Also feels like my locked up emotions are located in my chest/middle back area between my shoulder blades if that makes any sense.

I suppose I'm rambling on a bit here. Has anyone else felt this way or similar before starting HRT? I'm not entirely sure what to expect since YMMV and all that. I'm hoping HRT will unlock that vault, bring peace of mind and more mind body connection as I bring my body into line with my mental gender. Starting HRT is a big unknown and that does scare me a little. Not knowing if it will work for me or not. I feel it will and my therapist does as well. But I do have that worry about what if it doesn't.

Any advice, support, uplifting stories, etc will help.

Thank you,

~Kamyu

  Hi   

  Congratulations for starting HRT next week
  As Izzy said , please try and be calm . 
  I was nervous too , before starting and when I took the first pills , then I went thru some various emotions as my results seemed non to correspond to some other people' s  .
  It is a much smoother ride if you just relax and enjoy it , trying not to worry so much or verifying your progress every 5 minutes .
  I have OCD and depression , so I know that dysphoria can interfere with other conditions and the result could be an unpleasant living sometime .
  HRT will work , don't worry , but consider it as a small part of your life , a treatment for a condition we have , try and live life as much and as happy as you can . Physical results will take some time and even the mental ones could be altered by other things in your life . Focus on your life , on the big picture , and let HRT help bring you there .
   
  I wish you good luck   :)

Good advise from Claudia. Just relax & go about your life. Enjoy being more feminine each day. In due time you will feel better & your body will start improving.