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Anyone on here (besides me) who absolutely cannot stand this stuff? I don't need responses from people who are just gonna say the opposite and be like, "Oh, I absolutely love the holidays! :P" Cause that pisses me off and is irrelevant to my question.

Its so annoying how people I am forced to communicate with, will walk up to me, assume I want to actually speak to them and ask me, "So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Knowing full and well that I ain't the sociable type. Why would they ask that then? So they can get me to give them the typical, "Nothing", I-am-just-a-loser-anyways response so they can reciprocate what wonderfully fantastic things they are going to do with their families and junk. Like, I really don't give a monkey's behind what they gonna do. I just want to be dialysized so I don't die too much of a miserable death, leave, come home and be lonely and miserable cause no one I know personally, in real life, up close will ever understand me. The Holidays make me feel so exclusive for so many reasons. Screw the Holidays.

Heh.  My PhD defense is on Monday, so I get to skip Thanksgiving this year!  w00t!

I don't do "THE Holidays" a.k.a. Christmas / Hannukah / Kwanzaa / Festival of Crass Commercialism.  I don't accept the notion that "all religions have a major celebration in December.  Mine doesn't.  My wife and I pretty much ignore it.

If someone comes up to me and wishes me a Merry Christmas, I don't get bent out of shape about it.  They generally mean well and are trying to be nice.  That calls for a nice response: "Oh, thanks.  Same to you."  If they ask what I'm doing, I'll tell them the truth: "We don't do much of anything."

Thanksgiving is one that I do observe.  Even though large areas of my life suck, I know that I still have a lot to be thankful for.  I live n Canada, so we don't have the "pilgrims and indians" legend.  It's about being thankful.

Quote from: KathyLauren on November 25, 2015, 05:45:50 PMIt's about being thankful.

It should be and I do agree with you, tremendously. But in reality, its just one, big commercial to reel in all the green from the sheeple suckers out there.

By definition, a "forum" is not the best place to avoid dissenting views.

Quote from: Juliett on November 26, 2015, 01:36:15 AM
By definition, a "forum" is not the best place to avoid dissenting views.

Yeah, I'll shut up now. I'm starting to become too honest again. I'm sorry for being honest.

Post away!

I decide what is and isn't appropriate!

I think it is important that people who are having a bad time post about how you are feeling :-*

I apologize for my earlier response sounding assinine. It's late, I meant to be playful and sarcastic. :)

Thanks Cindy. Thanks Juliett. But yeah, I should shut up. I can get so carried away with my bluntness, that I offend people by mistake. I don't even know when it happens until its too late. That's why I don't like bein' around people sometimes or why I would be frightened to meet another trans person. I don't wanna insult them by mistake somehow. So I keep alot to myself. I don't mind if this topic is removed by any of the moderators if its found to be incredibly offensive. Sorry. I guess I'm pretty down cause sounds like everyone I am forced to socialize with, like at dialysis, are doing things with their families and what not and I am just sitting alone in my room. Ah, oh well. Happy Thanksgiving anyways. I got stuff to be thankful for even if it doesn't mean a cent of nothin' to average people. >:-)

No probs Juliett!

King, we all struggle and life gets bad for all of us sometimes.

Just hang in there!

I hate it too :). Especially as you said people like to brag about how great their Christmas is going to be and how many presents they got. Apart from the money given to me by relatives it's  the same as any other day. Should be interesting thus year though as I've recently come out to my relatives so I'm curious as to the name they'll write in the cards  ::). Happy non holiday to  you too  ;)

Thanks Cindy. Its always a pleasure to read what you have to say. You're the type of person I'd have to shut up and listen to when you start to talk. You always got something interesting to say. Thanks alot.




Hey, Elis, you're much braver than I could ever be. I only came out to three of my family members, two of which fell on deaf ears and the other is only a little supportive but far more than any of the other family members who probably know because I was outted behind my back probably by my own father. I hope your fam ain't like that. I hope nobody's fam is like mine. Every fam got its shortcomings but mine's is just plain spiteful seems like.

My dad wrote my assigned name at birth in the funeral card for the recent passing of my Great Grandmom. Even after coming out to him as transgender, he pretends I am still his daughter. Truth be told, I was never his daughter to begin with, but always his son.

I've always had a small Christmas - my parents don't get on with/ live far away from extended family so I don't have to deal with a lot of relatives... but i do feel the pressure to have a good time every year and feel like I'm failing. Especially with new years - I've never been to a new years eve party.

The commercial aspects get me down as well. Not that I object to people wanting to give me things! ;)

Hey Phoenix- I'm not brave at all. I rarely see or speak to them and only came out just in case they make an unexpected visit. They probably won't accept it bcos they're quite conservative. Only one aunt had gotten back to me about it and is fine with it but she's the hippy type and I have no idea how her husband (my uncle by marriage) is taking it.
And my dad's an A hole too. After constantly being misgendered I finally texted him saying how hurtful it was and now he doesn't call me anything or mention me being trans. Which is better than emotional abuse but still. And my brother who I also live with still misgender me. You're lucky to be close to your brother :)

Peep- I've never been to a new year's party as well and every year I feel like I'm missing out. Maybe next year it'll be different. On the plus side I get money for Xmas  ;D

Yeah I'm starting to think that the Great New Years Party is a myth made up for movies :P

I don't care either way about the holidays, I live so far away from family and most friends right now visiting or being dragged into things with anyone would be impossible, and I really got into the 'quiet Christmas' thing. Not making a big deal, just having a nice quiet pleasant day with me and my best bud, not feeling the pressure to have a "great time" and then dealing with the alcoholic fallout from dozens of relatives who are obviously not having a great time and don't get on with each other anyway and decide to drink themselves into a stupor.

But I do dislike the Christmas hype and its effect on people. I think it makes most people depressed - this image of a perfect family celebration or this amazing day we get shown in the media or in films doesn't seem to exist in my experience, and almost everyone I know secretly hates Christmas because its a massive build up to some kind of anti-climax for them. People put so much effort and expectation in and the reality never quite seems to meet the fairytale image. Maybe that's why I don't mind it so much, because I just don't get hyped up and I keep it low-key. It's pretty much just another day for me, but one where I know I can chill out, watch a movie or two, grab a drink and relax. I'm not even a Christian but one time when I was alone on a trip I went to a midnight mass in a church just to see what it was like. I would much rather do that than all that eating and gifting and getting ->-bleeped-<-faced drunk that my family used to do. That's what it's supposed to be about anyway, right...?

It seems like everyone I know including my own immediate family "hate" Christmas for their own reasons. My mother hates it because her mother died close to it. So she always gets depressed every Christmas which then kinda ruined most of our holidays as kids. The fact I enjoy it like a grumpy old dude now is probably because it was always super charged with tension and anger around relatives... at least now I live away from that it's lost most of its unpleasant aspects. I don't exactly feel qualified to say what Christmas/holidays should or shouldn't be about but I don't think it should be about people freaking out because they don't have the money to buy their kids x toy or y toy, or trying to keep up appearances or trying to have a cooler day than someone else because they got way more gifts or Xmas lights on their house or whatever.

Quote from: T.K.G.W. on November 26, 2015, 04:05:57 PM
I don't care either way about the holidays, I live so far away from family and most friends right now visiting or being dragged into things with anyone would be impossible, and I really got into the 'quiet Christmas' thing. Not making a big deal, just having a nice quiet pleasant day with me and my best bud, not feeling the pressure to have a "great time" and then dealing with the alcoholic fallout from dozens of relatives who are obviously not having a great time and don't get on with each other anyway and decide to drink themselves into a stupor.

But I do dislike the Christmas hype and its effect on people. I think it makes most people depressed - this image of a perfect family celebration or this amazing day we get shown in the media or in films doesn't seem to exist in my experience, and almost everyone I know secretly hates Christmas because its a massive build up to some kind of anti-climax for them. People put so much effort and expectation in and the reality never quite seems to meet the fairytale image. Maybe that's why I don't mind it so much, because I just don't get hyped up and I keep it low-key. It's pretty much just another day for me, but one where I know I can chill out, watch a movie or two, grab a drink and relax. I'm not even a Christian but one time when I was alone on a trip I went to a midnight mass in a church just to see what it was like. I would much rather do that than all that eating and gifting and getting ->-bleeped-<-faced drunk that my family used to do. That's what it's supposed to be about anyway, right...?

It seems like everyone I know including my own immediate family "hate" Christmas for their own reasons. My mother hates it because her mother died close to it. So she always gets depressed every Christmas which then kinda ruined most of our holidays as kids. The fact I enjoy it like a grumpy old dude now is probably because it was always super charged with tension and anger around relatives... at least now I live away from that it's lost most of its unpleasant aspects.

Dude, nearly a mirror image of how I feel about it. That's probably the main reason I cannot stand the stuff; family. I mean, people, especially in the media, make this stuff seem so mandatory, special, important and all perfect. I wonder if such a family even exists. I remember how as a teen, living with my mom who at the time loved family get-togethers like this, would force me and my cis bro along with her. We hated every moment of it, but for some reason I felt like he could deal with it much better than I could for obvious reasons. We were called more names by our family than by most strangers on the street. Seriously....

Even now, at age 26, about 10 years later, I am still carrying the hurt from their verbal punching and kicking. It won't be until I receive sincere apologies from each and every one of them that I forgive. Until that happens
(and it probably won't) I will take my grudges along with me to the grave when its my time.  ;D

I am even sick of my cis bro, who seemed to be at least a little supportive. You know what he told me today? He said he was too busy, even on a holiday like this, to text me. I can get him saying that on a regular day. And he does, constantly. But today...of all days? Really? Imma cut em all off. Only family I wish hard to see is my mama. But one day, she ain't even gonna remember who I am anymore from dementia induced by a lifetime of alcoholism.

Regardless of all this, like you, I find the "simple good" in these sorta days. Yeah, I slept all day in bed. Most people probably think that is the most depressing thing in the world. But, man, you know what I'd say to that? 'Least I gotta bed to even sleep in, unlike homeless people who have to sleep on the cold, hard concrete floors underneath highways. And my family and other families are prolly out there right now just havin' themselves a ball of a time without considering such things even once. Its all good anyhow. Cause they lives don't mean a thing to me. My family's that is.

I just woke up from a 3 to 4 hour nap. And might turn around and go right to bed. Only grub I got all day was a bowl of oatmeal and a can of soup. I would have at least baked some chicken for some chicken fajita if it hadn't spoiled thanks to my dad not ever allowing me to cook while he is away....

I suppose its alot of bad and at least some good to this holiday charade. :P

Mark me down as one who hates the holidays.  The traffic, the crappy moods from over-stressed shoppers, the obsession with perfect meals, the drunk drivers, the suicides, what's not to like?   

Quote from: Colleen M on November 26, 2015, 05:04:50 PM
Mark me down as one who hates the holidays.  The traffic, the crappy moods from over-stressed shoppers, the obsession with perfect meals, the drunk drivers, the suicides, what's not to like?

This is reality and my point exactly.

I'm very selective about who I spend my holidays with and what I do on them. I don't get a lot of time off from work during the year, so when I do get built-in days off like Thanksgiving/Black Friday, Christmas Eve/Christmas, NYD, etc., I'm not going to squander them on making other people happy because it's expected. Especially since I have to save up all my vacation time for surgery.

Yesterday I went to two family dinners and then went home to go hiking with my dog and do laundry. Rounded out the night by watching movies over Skype with my girlfriend while she visits her folks on the other coast. Not how most people envision spending "the holidays", but it was pretty ideal for me. I don't participate in any of the commercial crap, and I think it has a lot to do with the depression that a lot of people experience at this time of year in addition to feeling alone or alienated from family/friends.

The holiday season of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years always raises some people's  spirits, while also putting some in the gutter. Let me tell you something. You don't need to have relatives to enjoy the holiday season (or any other season).

You know that feeling that you get when you are shunned by someone else? That feeling you get when everyone else is smiling and having a good time, but you just want to close up in a box? There's a way to make that feeling go away.

Go down to your local soup kitchen and help out. Volunteer at a retirement home and sit with the elderly whose families have abandoned them. Or, volunteer your time at an orphanage or boys and girls club. You don't have to buy anyone anything. Just being there for others in need is a wonderful thing. It gives you a feeling that can't be explained. Seeing a little kid's eyes light up when you walk in because they know you are going to read them a book...

What I'm saying is, you don't have to be a holiday season victim.

And please don't take offense at any of this. I'm only suggesting a way to make yourself and others feel better.

Quote from: Nema on November 27, 2015, 06:13:04 PM
The holiday season of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years always raises some people's  spirits, while also putting some in the gutter. Let me tell you something. You don't need to have relatives to enjoy the holiday season (or any other season).

You know that feeling that you get when you are shunned by someone else? That feeling you get when everyone else is smiling and having a good time, but you just want to close up in a box? There's a way to make that feeling go away.

Go down to your local soup kitchen and help out. Volunteer at a retirement home and sit with the elderly whose families have abandoned them. Or, volunteer your time at an orphanage or boys and girls club. You don't have to buy anyone anything. Just being there for others in need is a wonderful thing. It gives you a feeling that can't be explained. Seeing a little kid's eyes light up when you walk in because they know you are going to read them a book...

What I'm saying is, you don't have to be a holiday season victim.

And please don't take offense at any of this. I'm only suggesting a way to make yourself and others feel better.

That's not a bad idea actually. Just would have to punch my severe social anxiety in the face and pretend not to have any if I did any of that I guess. Trust me, its easier to understand if you have anxiety like that so bad that you'd wait in your house until there are no people in sight outside your window. >.> But I am about to volunteer at a hospital to help with my resume for work. So that's not too bad either.

And no, I did not take offense to this. Its a great idea that most people never consider cause they too busy with their own lives, right? Makes me sick is what it does.