Susan's Place Transgender Resources

 Ok I'm about 10 months in to my transition, I'm very happy so far, I'm losing my muscle, I have my voice or I found it rather; I still have muscle to lose but most people don't seem to notice. I recently discovered boys.... and there's been two thatvteally got me. One fromwyoming and one from Oklahoma City. I am at the transgender weekend at okc, at the habana. Mostly cds I think I seen one other transsexual here. So I meet this guy who says he is not gay or a ->-bleeped-<- at one of the many clubs here, from what I understand straight people come here also to the clubs. He was definitely curious but I was honest with who I was with him up front, and he didn't run away. He was older than me I'm 33 he is 39, he was definitely cute and sexy, but I would have went home with him, but he was the perfect gentleman, he held doors for me and wouldn't take advantage of me bc I was a little drunk, even tho he could have had what ever he wanted from me and I prob would have let him. He had me from the start, this is the first time I really liked a guy😖, I've like one other but not like this. He is coming back tonight to see me, wtf do I do? I don't have srs yet,
I'm still drunk but he has me spun bad. I used to be solely attracted to just girls, but he had me all over him by the end of the night, i am curious did hrt turn any of you more straight ? As into guys bc I am going straight and it kinda scares me but I kinda like it. And know I was never ever ever into guys. I never wanted to be. And yet here I am several months into hrt and I was puddy in his hands. And he was slick to, the kinda guy who could probably get any girl. I'm like wtf me on top of everything else.. some one help my heads is all screwed up from tonight. Thanks

I'm still on my early stages of transition to state about any orientation change.
But if it only depends on me and no biochemistry influences my tastes, I'd totally stick to girls.
Guys scare me, make me feel uncomfortable and most of the time they've got an unpleasant smell...  :icon_no:

He smelled really nice, lol. I was scared of guys also, didn't like them bc they all think with there little soldiers first and foremost. I am just wondering who else had there orientation change? Bc I definitely did. Is it normal??? I seem to like guys all of a sudden and I seem to be liking them more than females in some aspect, he drove me to my hotel and walked me to my room and I wanted him to come in, he knows he could have, but he didn't. It kinda turned into a date bc we talked about everything. Ugh these hormones have me girlish as hell. Lol,

I have been on hrt for about 8 months and have definitely noticed a shift in sexual orientation. I was really caught off guard when I met this guy at my new job. He was handsome and had a great personality, unfortunately he was already engaged. I got past it, but I'm still blown away by the attraction itself when I was completely into other women before. It's amazing the changes hormones can cause.

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It can happen, because it happen to me, absolutely no interest in men before transition, then the new attention, felt weird at first, then holding hands with my new boyfriend, it felt so different and strange, then that first kiss, it was like OMG I'm kissing a man, I just went with my new orientation, I did eventually married a man, he is still my husband now for over 7 years, married longer than some of my friends

I fooled around with a guy for the first time (in my adult life) in January. The thought of it never grossed me out, I just felt indifferent to the idea. I was happy to explore it but I ultimately I wasn't into it. I've been on HRT for 18 months now and yesterday I fantasized about Jordan Barrett. So, yes?

Yes I am finding my self more attracted to males, their smell, personality, looks, attitude definitely turn me on. I want to try to go on a date with a male but I have been total scared. I now picture myself marrying a male which I never thought of that before. 

I cannot honestly or completely say mine has changed. For almost forever about the only way could orgasm during sex was to get deep into my fantasy of being the woman with a guy. Yet, I was never physically attracted to guys. Back in my 20's during my transition experiments, the reality of being with a guy was not at all like the fantasy.

Today, some 8 years in on HRT, guys are totally cute, even sexy looking. I don't know how many dreams I've had with me in a relationship with a guy. Even scarier is being sexually aroused by it. Something that hasn't really worked in a while. One of my wife's big fears is as I learn more and more just who the real me is, is that I would dump her for a guy.

She did warn me that hormones will mess with your head  :o

I'm just beginning exploring transition. Since I was little, I have been attracted at times to some of my friends and a couple of hot guys I saw on the street. It hasn't happened much, maybe 5 times in my life. Also, I was in a movie theater once at about 10 y.o. I remember seeing a girl give this guy a BJ when they thought it was dark where they were. I remember wanting to be her, not just giving him a BJ, but being her doing it. Those kind of feelings have never left me though women turn me on more and I'm married with kids. I think I could switch over if I transitioned. I think my gender identity also includes "straight woman".

    I am nearly 5 months on HRT and this is a question that has been on my mind I am not sure how things will go as at this time I have absolutely no sexual interest in any gender I have no idea where this road will take me but I must accept what will be


   bobbisue :)

The more I think about it the more I feel that I do want to try to date a male and see if I could be happy yes I am very curious to see what it is like.

Well, I thought I would be oriented solely towards women, that is, transition would have me becoming a simple lesbian.

This... turns out not to be the case.  I find that I am also attracted to some other trans and queer folks, not identifying as women.  There was one person I met several weeks ago, with a lovely red beard and red-orange hair on their legs that keeps popping back into my fantasies.

I may be a bit more open than I thought I would be.  A nice or kindly individual is more attractive than someone who is purely a good looking woman.

This may get interesting over time.


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I was mainly straight as a guy but had flings with men. It's more 50/50 now, I have rice I want noodles next time! I'm probably more comfortable being bi though it's a long time since I was in a relationship (12 years).

I've known I was bi for quite a while, but I've yet to actually get together with any men. I just could never imagine myself being with a man, as a man. Then again I wasn't really comfortable with women as a man, either. I still know I'm bi, and would like to explore both sides of that now that I've accepted being a woman.
I also realized that I'm actually attracted to one of my male friends. Many things I did make me wonder why I didn't realize it before - I'd stick close to him in stores while other friends wander off. If he wasn't available to hang out or whatever, I usually wouldn't bother contacting anyone else either. I usually got him better birthday & christmas presents than my other friends, etc...

I see people mentioning guy's smell. I haven't noticed it yet. Then again, I've worked in a public library for the last 12 years & learned quickly not to smell people.  :eusa_sick:

Well my experience so far is yes the hormones can help shift your feelings on the other gender. Before transition, I as well did not like sausages. As time has gone by though I am finding an attraction to guys as well. I have specific tastes in them and it probably comes from my own gd to an extent. Like I don't like hairy men at all, big turn off. So I think the hormones do affect your brain chemistry to be attracted to the opposite gender. This is not 100% the case with everyone though. So don't feel too turned around and confused, you can always feel out a first date with someone.

Maybe being yourself has awaken the dormant sexual interest you've always had for men?
Ive always liked men with a few girl crushes along the way. But im more of a straight woman i think

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So, did the guy come back? What happened?

Quote from: Sarah_P on November 17, 2017, 11:18:41 PM
I see people mentioning guy's smell. I haven't noticed it yet. Then again, I've worked in a public library for the last 12 years & learned quickly not to smell people.  :eusa_sick:

Some men smell stronger than others, if you get close to a man you will definitely notice a sweaty smell, when I'm close to hubby in bed I get a sweaty odour, but it's not unpleasant, it's just the smell of man, he sometimes uses a deodorant for men to mask it and that smells nice too.
Somebody else mention hairy men, most men are hairy, some more hairy than others, doesn't bother me ether way, hubby has a forest of hair on his chest, I sometimes run my hand thru it lol, hairy or not hairy, it's not important, a caring unstanding man who knows how to treat a woman is most important of all.

Yes, people do notice a change in sexual preference during transition, it's not unusual.. But please refrain from pointing the finger at hormones specifically, as there is no science to support that claim - and some that says it doesn't happen..

So if you want to claim hormones changed your sexual preference, the challenge is to provide scientific evidence to support the claim..

Quote from: dist123 on November 18, 2017, 06:19:10 AM
Maybe being yourself has awaken the dormant sexual interest you've always had for men?
Ive always liked men with a few girl crushes along the way. But im more of a straight woman i think

It's almost certainly a latent or repressed interest that existed pre transition..

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 18, 2017, 10:41:40 PM
It's almost certainly a latent or repressed interest that existed pre transition..

I know for my part that just by going through this and categorizing my feelings more, I've started to see gender (of others) as less relevant. Sort of like the experience of being(rather, recognizing I am) trans has shifted me to a bit more pansexual approach. But then I always was a bit confused on the issue to begin with (when I was in male mindset, I rationalized I was attracted to femininity and that I could be attracted to feminine guys). ;D

Also, the idea of masculine on masculine grosses me out. That may be part of it too. Perhaps it's something like that as we (for MTF, not meaning to exclude the guys here  :-X) become more physically feminine, it opens up that room to allow for attraction to the masculine. I hated the thought of being a guy with a (masculine) guy, but being a girl with a masculine guy is my dream.

Though one argument for the hormone thing, sort of: Increased sensitivity to smell may mean increased sensitivity for whatever passed for human pheromones. May not be literally "hormones = attracted to men", but they may actually be a physical trigger that allows for that attraction to be realized. (In other words, it may not be that estrogen makes you like men, but that you wouldn't like men without estrogen simply because you lacked the means to find out. Does that make sense?)

I sort of bristle at the idea that there is something latent or repressed about it in all cases. There is really nothing scientific to point to that either. I understand the issue it creates with the larger issue of sexual preference but i have seen so many people recount a change that i sure would like to see it studied.

I've always been proudly bisexual but i went from probably a 65-35 orientation toward women, to perhaps 80-20 toward men and that change was dramatic. Not a feeling, not something that i finally felt ok with because i felt more than ok with it before. It is definitely evident in many facets of my life. Hormones? I have no idea, maybe a combination of hormones, socialization, the fact that men are interested in me and other factors such as a change in smell.

Quote from: RobynD on November 18, 2017, 11:59:02 PM
I sort of bristle at the idea that there is something latent or repressed about it in all cases. There is really nothing scientific to point to that either. I understand the issue it creates with the larger issue of sexual preference but i have seen so many people recount a change that i sure would like to see it studied.

Take a look at history, take a look at what the Brit's forced upon Alan Turing and many other gay men. Many attempts were made to change sexual preference using sex hormones - it didn't work, only seemed to cause something not entirely unlike dysphoria.

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 19, 2017, 12:15:13 AM
Take a look at history, take a look at what the Brit's forced upon Alan Turing and many other gay men. Many attempts were made to change sexual preference using sex hormones - it didn't work, only seemed to cause something not entirely unlike dysphoria.

I can totally see that yes, i imagine they tried to spike up T levels. However, transition is a fairly complex thing that and hormones are only a part of that.

Quote from: RobynD on November 19, 2017, 12:42:29 AM
I can totally see that yes, i imagine they tried to spike up T levels. However, transition is a fairly complex thing that and hormones are only a part of that.

Actually, cross sex hormones were also tried in addition to T - note that giving a male exogenous T long term will result in that male ceasing to produce much of their own T. Gotta love a self-regulating system.

Transition is only really complicated from a psychological POV. The science behind hormonal reassignment is fairly well established and understood, if only doctors in practice would bother to learn. The surgical side of things is even more straight-forward.

I wonder if it could also have something to do with the long-term introjection of binary notions and the idea that men and women complete each other. Given this reason, the sexual orientation shift could be a subconscious attempt to validate one's experience as a woman.

Other factor could be what RobynD mentioned about having men interested in you (very good contribution). We all like having people interested in us, to feel desired and attractive. It feels really good.
So maybe the shift towards men could also happen because men normally give much more this stimulation to girls' ego than women. This way, girls who have never felt this kind of attention before, start to feel really good about men, around men and with men.

What do you think?  :)

Quote from: Annushka on November 19, 2017, 02:21:12 PM
I wonder if it could also have something to do with the long-term introjection of binary notions and the idea that men and women complete each other. Given this reason, the sexual orientation shift could be a subconscious attempt to validate one's experience as a woman.

Other factor could be what RobynD mentioned about having men interested in you (very good contribution). We all like having people interested in us, to feel desired and attractive. It feels really good.
So maybe the shift towards men could also happen because men normally give much more this stimulation to girls' ego than women. This way, girls who have never felt this kind of attention before, start to feel really good about men, around men and with men.

What do you think?  :)

Some very good points, a man being very attentive and protective and insisting on paying for everything on the 1st date, being desired and making me feel attractive and special, it does have an effect, I remember a former boyfriend many years ago taking me out to dinner and paying for everything on that 1st date, it's only right a guy pays for everything on the 1st date, when we came out of the restuarant it was raining, he insisted on me waiting in the lounge in case I got wet and walking a distance in heels, he drove the car up to the door, the attention is very flattering and does feel good, validation as a woman from a man, you'll never get that from another woman.

Quote from: pretty pauline on November 25, 2017, 06:41:35 PM
Some very good points, a man being very attentive and protective and insisting on paying for everything on the 1st date, being desired and making me feel attractive and special, it does have an effect, I remember a former boyfriend many years ago taking me out to dinner and paying for everything on that 1st date, it's only right a guy pays for everything on the 1st date, when we came out of the restuarant it was raining, he insisted on me waiting in the lounge in case I got wet and walking a distance in heels, he drove the car up to the door, the attention is very flattering and does feel good, validation as a woman from a man, you'll never get that from another woman.

I don't need external validation, from a man or woman.. And why should he pay?

That said, this is a very hetero-normative comment.. Perhaps allowing for the fact some do get the validation they require from other women?

I don't know Kelley, what you say is logical perhaps, but it doesn't cover the emotional side. After all, all the M to F folks here could wear nuns habits or ladies Quaker outfits for example. They are definitely women's clothes. It validates us emotionally to wear nice things. A dress, a sexy bathing suit, whatever. There is no shame in that just as there is no shame in emotionally enjoying the special attention from a guy that was  previously out of bounds  for us. I like attention from other people. It's just that attention from woman is not a new thing to me. Being treated differently, hetero normatively by a guy is different from my previous experience. It is validating because it is proof that things are different for me. As for who pays, that is up to the individuals.
Moni

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 25, 2017, 06:52:23 PM
I don't need external validation, from a man or woman.. And why should he pay?

Forget validation, I just want a free meal. ;D

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 25, 2017, 06:52:23 PM
I don't need external validation, from a man or woman.. And why should he pay?

That said, this is a very hetero-normative comment.. Perhaps allowing for the fact some do get the validation they require from other women?

We know what we are ourselves, but sometimes external validation is a real boost for self confidence, it was for mine, men giving me male attention and making me feel feminine gave me self confidence as a woman.
Why should he pay, I don't know the norms in the US, but where I come from it's traditional and always has been the norm, the guy always pays for everything on the 1st date, it's a guy's invitation to a woman, then the woman accepts or declines, then if dating continues well it should be 50/50.
As I said when on a first date with my boyfriend he paid for everything, if I offered to pay some, he would feel insulted, a woman paying on a 1st date is definitely no, all a woman is expected to do is make an effort, dress up, glam up, and try and look dazzlingly gorgeous and that's expensive, that's all a guy wants.
It's a great feeling, it's not just about a free meal or free cocktails, but being treated, respected and accepted as a woman by a man, but I never expected to actually married a man, but that's what happened, I never saw that coming.

Quote from: pretty pauline on November 26, 2017, 01:52:30 PM
We know what we are ourselves, but sometimes external validation is a real boost for self confidence, it was for mine, men giving me male attention and making me feel feminine gave me self confidence as a woman.
Why should he pay, I don't know the norms in the US, but where I come from it's traditional and always has been the norm, the guy always pays for everything on the 1st date, it's a guy's invitation to a woman, then the woman accepts or declines, then if dating continues well it should be 50/50.
As I said when on a first date with my boyfriend he paid for everything, if I offered to pay some, he would feel insulted, a woman paying on a 1st date is definitely no, all a woman is expected to do is make an effort, dress up, glam up, and try and look dazzlingly gorgeous and that's expensive, that's all a guy wants.
It's a great feeling, it's not just about a free meal or free cocktails, but being treated, respected and accepted as a woman by a man, but I never expected to actually married a man, but that's what happened, I never saw that coming.

Thank you for putting feminism back 20 years.. And for dating men that let you.

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 26, 2017, 02:14:15 PM
Thank you for putting feminism back 20 years.. And for dating men that let you.

Thats very harsh and judgmental,

/thanks for that/end sarcasm

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 26, 2017, 02:14:15 PM
Thank you for putting feminism back 20 years.. And for dating men that let you.

Part of feminism is for everyone to be able to make their own choices, even if they aren't based on modern politically correct sensibilities. If having someone's dinner paid for while they look pretty is how they chose to embrace their femininity, then that is their right. Expectations to conform to modern political correctness are no less restrictive than expectations to conform to tradition.

Quote from: pretty pauline on November 18, 2017, 09:04:49 PM
Some men smell stronger than others,

My son is smelly but I tell him to put his shoes back on and the smell goes away. Strange how that happens.

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 25, 2017, 06:52:23 PM
I don't need external validation, from a man or woman.. And why should he pay?

That said, this is a very hetero-normative comment.. Perhaps allowing for the fact some do get the validation they require from other women?

Hey Kelly. You were right on your comments.
It is indeed an hetero-normative comment; but so what? You have your opinion, she has hers and everybody is happy just the way it is. Trying to impose one's view against hetero-normatives has the same value as doing the opposite.

And you are right again. Most of us get some degree of validation from women, but unless it is a women completely out of social and cultural behaviors, she won't give the same kind of attention than men normally do.
I am totally into girls, but I can assure you that.

By the way, YOU don't need external validation. Most of people do. Others don't really need, but enjoy it.

Quote from: kelly_aus on November 26, 2017, 02:14:15 PM
Thank you for putting feminism back 20 years.. And for dating men that let you.

Feminism as I understand (and somebody please counter me if you think I am wrong) is not about rejecting all established cultural traits, but rejecting paternalism oppression.
What if the wants to pay not because he feels she is weak, but because he does it to to be nice, the same way as he could do it for a male friend? And of course it feels great!! I love when my friends (male, female, queer or whatever) pay me stuff. And I also love to pay then when I feel like.

I am totally against machism, but in my opinion a kind gesture like that, by itself, doesn't qualify as a sexist behavior. May be a blink of a yellow sign perhaps, but nothing more...

Quote from: Roll on November 26, 2017, 02:31:43 PM
Part of feminism is for everyone to be able to make their own choices, even if they aren't based on modern politically correct sensibilities. If having someone's dinner paid for while they look pretty is how they chose to embrace their femininity, then that is their right. Expectations to conform to modern political correctness are no less restrictive than expectations to conform to tradition.

That's the spirit!! Way to go girl!!  :eusa_clap:

Maybe I'm grumpy tonight cause I feel like crap. This is the second chat I've read today were people are taking the low road. There is nothing wrong with just saying, "I disagree, respectfully." Then, "Have a nice day."
Moni
Have a nice day.

I'm a feminist and in my view it is plain and simple advocation of equality in all areas. Having said that, we all need validations and they vary by individual. I wouldn't let a 1st date pay for a meal but that is for my own reasons. Holding doors and car doors and other politeness, i sort of like.

The key is the motivation of the other party. Does your date share your same values or does he see you as someone weaker. Are the doing it because they like you or are they doing it because they feel obligated or they are trying to manipulate you. You'll find out soon enough. He should be asking himself the same sort of questions about me.

I'm sort of the intimate initiator much of the time with my boyfriend and even more so when we first started. Consent was extremely important to me, so i'd ask to kiss him or touch him in more intimate places. Many people would recoil at this perhaps and feel the person is "not really into you" etc. But he let me know early on that he preferred that. Now as we have become closer, that all has become more casual. The key is everyone has different preferences, different levels of attraction, likes and deal breakers and sexual preference is a spectrum itself.

My orientation didn't change.  I was into males only before transition and I still am. I don't I don't share many feminist views. My boyfriend has always paid for everything when we go out. I have my own money but if he prefers to pay then what's wrong with that? And he prefers to drive when we go somewhere because he thinks it's weird for a woman to drive a man around unless he's like sick or something
Fine with me. I totally hate traffic and usually get a sore throat from yelling at people who are too stupid to walk, much less drive a car. And I am sure I will get flamed for saying this, but I do need validation from men. It's important to me to be attractive to men. Sorry if that makes me like weird or something.

My sexuality hasnt changed. I'm in a monogamous relationship with another woman who I love and she still loves me. She does worry one day I'll spring another surprise on her in that she believes me to be bisexual or, worse still, hetero and in the closet..

Le sigh

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I apologize as I am not writing this to offend but the change in sexuality narrative idea really bothers me. 

This is because if attraction changes along with hormone replacement, that would mean that attraction and sexuality is a fluid construct (the idea of gay people choosing their sexuality) and would give conversion therapy credence, such as giving testosterone to gay men or estrogen to lesbians would turn them straight.  (I know this isn't a perfect example of what I am trying to convey)

I understand it is common to question your sexuality when starting a transition due to all the new experiences and confusion that comes with it along with a host of other feelings and whatnot.  I questioned it myself for a brief period early in my transition but realized that it seemed more like "If I was attracted to men, it would give me more validity and credence to my own transition" and I realized I am still not attracted to men. 

I guess my thing is this, if you are now truly attracted to "x" gender, maybe you always were but never gave yourself permission to do so. 

Quote from: Justarandomname on December 01, 2017, 10:08:00 AM
I guess my thing is this, if you are now truly attracted to "x" gender, maybe you always were but never gave yourself permission to do so.

I don't think it's the same with transgender people as with repressed gays. If I am trans, really a woman, and I am suppressing my attraction to men, am I not suppressing part of my female identity?

Quote from: amandam on December 01, 2017, 12:20:02 PM
I don't think it's the same with transgender people as with repressed gays. If I am trans, really a woman, and I am suppressing my attraction to men, am I not suppressing part of my female identity?

See, that's the problem though.  Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual orientation.  I mean I totally understand that sexual orientation might change (who am I to tell anyone who they are attracted to) but it just seems like when people conflate the two, they are undermining the identities of cis lesbians and mtf lesbians because it subtly implies that they are not really women.

Yeah equating the two is problematic and maybe one of the biggest things the world at large, does not get about us. One option on sexual preference other than giving it a label as a construct (which we know is false) is that it is actually a continuum and that continuum has a slider on it. We sometimes move that slider based on changing desires, chemicals, circumstances, age or other things i am not thinking of right now.

How is that different? I see it as more representative of a wide swath of humanity and it means that there are a lot of pansexual, bisexual, etc people out there. Sometimes we choose to move that slider around a bit, but there are some for whom that is a totally fixed thing. My therapist once talked about how some people for instance only interested in men their entire life, suddenly meet a woman and fall in love. They say i normally don't like women but i really like that woman.

The slippery slope and ramifications about conversion and religious doctrine etc, need not be recognized as part of that because ultimately forcing someone, coercing them, or guilting them into moving their slider or not moving their slider is morally wrong. 

I think that we are running into another issue in differentiating between sexual orientation as a ascribed/innate attribute and sexual orientation as a self proclaimed identity.

For instance, someone can be innately bisexual in the sense that they have the ability at least on some level to be attracted to both genders, but only identify as straight or gay, and that is perfectly valid. Then suppose that person undergoes hormone therapy, and they modify their personal identification (in the sense of gender of attraction) because of changes in their life. Perhaps they just really like the binary dynamic and that is what drives them along their own range of sexual attraction, so going from a straight male (attracted to women) to straight female (attracted to men) makes perfect sense.

In such a case, you have two "different" definitions of sexual orientation at play. Their identity changed based on circumstances and life changes. Their innate orientation most likely did not change and they always had the ability to be attracted to both me and women, and thus the concept of sexual orientation changing due to HRT invalidates the "genetic" predisposition to innate sexual orientation.

My point is -
If an mtf transgender has always been transgender, then s/he could never have been a gay man, even while in a male body. S/he has always been a straight woman. But, she could be a lesbian pre and post-op.

Great topic and I thought I might be alone on this. I was really stuck on women initially but, have shifted in my attraction. I am feeling more bi-sexual than on the lesbian side of the attraction. It makes sense to me that there would be a shift since the hormones affect brain chemistry. Of course this does not mean it affects everyone the same but, it affect us to some extent. I saw this shift, now for me I don't go for the men that are like super buff, or hairy. More of the pretty boys or even some rugged qualities. Sexual orientation is as complicated as gender. Great question though!!!!!!!!

Tl;Dr I'm pansexual so my thoughts may be a bit moot on orientation, but strongly lean lesbian so who knows, maybe useful.

For better or worse I've thought a lot about this as well as listened to my feelings.

There is little question that initial attraction is olfactory and there have been some pretty cool findings about biological / selection advantages conferred thereby. It's also known that women rely more on scent than men in the flirting / pairing dance and also that as transexual women, hrt enhances up our sense of smell significantly (as well as changes our own scents.

So it's not unreasonable to think that as we transition, we're going to begin to feel more open to men and certainly that's reported here, if not yet in any literature.

For me, I remain pretty selective about men I'm interested in, essentially I'm socially only in men who have a pretty strong feminine aspect. I've never paired off with a male in anything but casual / exploring / fwb contexts and I don't feel that changing.

That said, I've had my share of oral sex with guys (giving, never wanted receiving) and I have a pretty strong semen / body fluids fetish and I was open to the option of receptive penetration before surgery but mostly after so many good things had happened due to hrt that many if my negatives about males had eased due to feeling more positive about ME.

And now post op while I'm seeking out women by preference, I expect the odds of hookups are better with men and in some very real sense I just do want to get laid more often.

And a *big* barrier has been lifted, while I'm still open to anal play, vaginal has always been what I hankered for and so I'm far more interested in PIV (with women or with men) than I was in PIA pre-op.

So yes my bias point has been shifted but then I was fundamentally bisexual/pansexual already. And then again my consideration of exploring bisexuality originated after my realization I was trans.

Yes, more attracted to males. Very picky about what I find attractive. The change orientation is not upsetting to me at all. Seems rather natural.

Denise

Yeah I definitely like men more now.  Still like females sure. but certain guys OMG....

Quote from: SadieBlake on December 02, 2017, 10:47:25 AM

There is little question that initial attraction is olfactory and there have been some pretty cool findings about biological / selection advantages conferred thereby. It's also known that women rely more on scent than men in the flirting / pairing dance and also that as transexual women, hrt enhances up our sense of smell significantly (as well as changes our own scents.

This has always been interesting and a change for me as well. The other day i was sitting with my boyfriend in a movie and as his kids were with, was not being particularly affectionate, but i was sort of nuzzled against him. He was not wearing any fragrance but his own and i have no idea if he showered before the night out or not, but his smell was literally distracting me from the movie in a good way  ;D. I remember thinking "i just want to stay here another hour and smell him"...lol pretty funny but true

i told him about this later and he thought it was funny. He notices fragrances on me like vanilla and others, but it seems as women, we are more in tune with pheromones or natural fragrance or the like.

Quote from: amandam on November 18, 2017, 12:03:19 PM
So, did the guy come back? What happened?

He did, sorry it's been a while, busy with electro and work schedules and Christmas. He did come back, I am married so I only let him hang out and I told him from the get go nothing more than friends. Well he kissed me that night and it honestly took me a minute to push him off. It was my first experience with a man.... well I kinda melted in his arms, I liked it. What scared me is I was only and I mean only women oriented before, this hit me like a ton of bricks, I was caught off guard by this attraction for sure. I told my wife about it and she basically told me good job for pushing him off and getting away(he was warned ahead of time) and welcome to being a girl. So yes I'm full on bisexual now. I would probably only date men if I were single though. I'm completely happy with who I'm with though. So yes I learned more about myself and my sexuality.