Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I know this may sound strange, but, I'll continue. Surely I'm not the only person to confront this.
At this time, transitioning would be impossible in my life. Even if it were possible, bottom surgery, which is something I have thought long and hard about is very expensive as well. So, my problem? The bathroom.

When I was a child, one of the first things about being a girl I noticed was the way they urinate.
At age 3, I wanted to be a girl and was forced to hide it right away by my mother. That's another story.
My first encounter with a vagina was a young cousin around d my age. We were 3 and showing ourselves.
I immediately wanted to be like her. I liked hers a lot better than mine. I also really liked the girls cloths, but, never got to wear any. My second encounter was with a neighbor's daughter when she and her brother were taking a bath. I told her I wanted a "personal" like hers, and she said, " why?"  I didn't answer, I was too embarrassed. Then, I would have to go in small, public restrooms with my
Mom and noticed her sitting down to urinate. Incidentally, they potty trained me sitting as most boys are and then trained me to stand. I resisted standing. I hated it. They made me do it though at least, as long as they were watching. I sat every chance I got when unattended. I also pushed myself back as most trans children do. One thing I hated more than anything was having to hold myself while I peed. I wanted to land in the toilet directly instead of possibly getting on the seat the way it would when I was little if I didn't hold myself. When I was little, I wanted to hear it splash, because, that was the way it was supposed to work in my mind. I know that sounds silly. However, you girls know exactly what I'm talking about I'm sure. I didn't like having to hold myself to urinate and I still don't. It didn't feel natural and still doesn't now. I hate having to hold myself down. Sitting and relieving yourself with a penis isn't that difficult, but, it doesn't seem right. I want things to operate differently than they do. It's as if my brain is screaming that something isn't right and it doesn't want to do it that way. I had an odd obsession with that as a child. I see now that it's a normal part of dysphoria. It's still something that bothers me.

A question here. I'm sure everyone has seen this question many times. Since I'm not transitioning, but, need to deal with dysphoria, is a urethral reroute a good option?  Will the therapist or psychiatrist refer you to urologist if you meet the criteria? I know my days of avoiding nasty public toilet seats would be over, however, I think it would ease a burden. I also understand the increase UTI risk. However, having a vagina go es you about the same.e amount of risk. Thoughts?

I know this has been long and strange, but, surely I'm not the only one. Dealing with the dysphoria is not easy as we all very well know. Any other ideas to ease the pain?

I went through much of what you did although I don't recall consciously knowing that I was really a girl. I'm missing large portions of my childhood. My therapist believed that I articulated it at a young age and got a response that scared me.

Anyway, getting a letter for a re-route might be even harder than getting a letter for GCS. It would probably cost nearly as much as well. Unfortunately they make use jump through hoops to prove we're serious.

I suppose I shouldn't post this since it's speculation, but I'm gonna anyway.

The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.

Odd it would cost that much. There really isn't anything to the reroute surgery from what I've heard. Why do get put us through such hoops? Wait... What am I asking?

Uretral reroutes are done all the time usually for medical reasons. You do be aware of a much higher risk of urinary tract infections. I have a retracted penis that gives me A very short urethra and so I'm prone to infection. I just finished my third round of antibiotics over the last 60 days and had a scope Done last week to check for damage. Well the scope has started the infection up again. It can be done but please be aware of the risks

One thing to consider is if you would have GCS if you could. Having any work done down there might reduce your list of surgeons. Some surgeons prefer to work with virgin material and have been known to reject patients who have had work done in that area.

Another consideration is the money you spend on this surgery could be a start on GCS. It might be far off right now but it's possible that you could gain an insurance policy that would pay much of the surgery. What you spend for this could cover what the insurance doesn't.

so I'm in a similar position because I currently can barely afford my estrogen, and am unable to pay for surgery. however, if you can get decent insurance like I do(I'm on my mothers insurance til I am 25) you can easily get the cost reduced by a massive amount. I only have to save up around 6k for all the surgery and copays for the hospital visits. I have around 9 months to go before I have my second referral letter for surgery(I could only get one at a time due to monetary restrictions) so once I have that I am hoping I have the money to afford my part of the surgery. :)

forgot to mention, but I have been dressing full time since I got on estrogen, and was dressing 90% of the time since 2015.

Welcome to Susan's Place Lilly G. Actually insurance is a bit different than that. The law only requires that the insurance children cover to a certain age. The truth is many policies will now carry children beyond that age. My niece has aged out on her policy as far as the law goes but we discovered that the insurance company would be happy to continue covering her under her mothers policy. We didn't learn this from the insurance agent and we had to call the insurance company directly to find this information. By the way, it was a Blue Cross policy if you want to know.

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it is in fact, my moms insurance that has said they cover til I'm 25.
ps: my mom is a teacher in California, and the insurance company is blue cross as well.

LOL! I had no idea this was the child's board and it says so very plainly. I have Autism, so, you have to be patient with me. I can't transition for many social reasons in my current situation. Is there an adult board for this and can someone move my post there?

Child board has nothing to do with age. It's a sub board of a another board much like a second or third level directory used to store files on a computer. You place the post in the correct location but if the topic drifts or you feel their is a more appropriate location for it, we will move it.

Quote from: Dena on June 17, 2018, 08:48:12 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place Lilly G. Actually insurance is a bit different than that. The law only requires that the insurance children cover to a certain age. The truth is many policies will now carry children beyond that age. My niece has aged out on her policy as far as the law goes but we discovered that the insurance company would be happy to continue covering her under her mothers policy. We didn't learn this from the insurance agent and we had to call the insurance company directly to find this information. By the way, it was a Blue Cross policy if you want to know.

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Could you tell me more about this maybe? I was on my mom's insurance (also Blue Cross) until I was 25 and they told me they couldn't keep me on it unless I was disabled and she was my primary caregiver and I was also living with her. I'm autistic and disabled but that wasn't good enough. I'm on Medicaid now. Were they lying?

Completely unrelated, but why does this sound like it could be a great song title from Panic! At the disco. 

Quote from: hellowombat on July 15, 2018, 04:56:03 PM
Could you tell me more about this maybe? I was on my mom's insurance (also Blue Cross) until I was 25 and they told me they couldn't keep me on it unless I was disabled and she was my primary caregiver and I was also living with her. I'm autistic and disabled but that wasn't good enough. I'm on Medicaid now. Were they lying?

Here is the story as I know it. We are located in Arizona and because of differences in state laws, each Blue Cross has it's own set of rules and they may not be the same as the other states. In addition, in each state they write different types of policies with different coverages. 

In our case, my niece is bouncing around on jobs so she may not be at a job long enough to qualify for the company policy. Our agent (who is very good) didn't realize that the policy could be extended util age 30 and the only place we were able to find this information is by calling Blue Cross directly.

I don't know if they are lying, uninformed or if the policy is different in your state than in Arizona. About the only advice I can give is don't give up until your sure of the answer.

Frankly I find any public bathroom a disgusting place I should never enter but when I do I get such dirty looks. I am a MTF who still presents as male but when my hair was to my butt I used to get the most strange looks so I cut it and stole Rey's hair cut from star wars. Even then because of my hips from behind I always get touched not sexually just a tap on the shoulder to which a man will say sorry this is the mens. To which I have to reply "yea I am a dude" in my most forced manly voice ever. This experience alone cause me such terror I have panic attacks if I need to use the rest room. Also I dont use the rightful bathroom because women given me even worse looks(my country has a very high rape rate and generally women are extremely distrusting of any male who enters such a safe).

I dont think we all share a dysphoria for the same reason but in a way just being who we are invites a dysphoria to exist.

I was a ladies room virgin up until a couple weeks ago. Was out for lunch with two of the local girls when I had no choice. So like any group of women we all went together and not a strange look or word was said and now Ive crossed that boundary I'll find a new one to break