Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I like to go as a male to the gym, because all that female gym stuff dos not look comfy to me and way to warm.
I try to make me looking as male as possible when I go.  Today I wondered if and for how long I will be able to still pass as a guy. 
As I said at other contributions, I do not have any dysphoria being male, because I do not have any real gender identity, but I prefer to be female.

What do you ladies think, can I still go as a guy to the gym?

https://imgur.com/a/BCpudIq

Oof, yes and no.... If the guys in the shower keep checking you out...No.  If the gals keep checking you out....Yes!

Quote from: Jessica on December 04, 2018, 02:33:50 PM
Oof, yes and no.... If the guys in the shower keep checking you out...No.  If the gals keep checking you out....Yes!

The answer would be:, drive home stinky and shower there?

The face yes from the side at least. You may want to put a tight fitting sports bra to conceal the girls though. I'd shower home in your case and bring car air fresheners.

Quote from: NatalieRene on December 04, 2018, 03:29:08 PM
The face yes from the side at least. You may want to put a tight fitting sports bra to conceal the girls though. I'd shower home in your case and bring car air fresheners.

That is a good idea.  My only concern here is that those girls grew without any HRT, and now that I am on the stuff for almost 4 weeks, they might explode (I hope not). 
But you all report that growth comes in episodes, and I don't know what to expect!  Who knows how they look like in a week or two?
But for the time being, I will try to push them back in with some bra type!

Dietlind, how fast and large your girls grew will probably determine when you can no longer go as a male.  New breasts are usually firmer and much harder to hide with a sports bra and then what do you wear over a sports bra to be comfortable and appear male.

Quote from: mm on December 05, 2018, 09:44:51 AM
Dietlind, how fast and large your girls grew will probably determine when you can no longer go as a male.  New breasts are usually firmer and much harder to hide with a sports bra and then what do you wear over a sports bra to be comfortable and appear male.

I wonder what HRT will do to my growth.  The picture here is without any HRT, just my intersex thing.  I am now on estrogen for almost a month, and if that kicks in with breast growth, I wonder how fast they will develop more.

The current girls can still be hidden under loose male shirts (breast pockets are ideal for hiding them) or large sweat shirts, I think t-shirts will not be good anymore to do a good hiding job (but I always could used the excuse and say they are man boobs).

Loose long sleeve shirts do work fine a lot of the time.  Man boobs is a good idea since you are older and that is when many guy get them; this can be a problem if you start to get more erect nipples which happen with normal female puberty.  You will just have to wait and see how they grow.

Quote from: mm on December 05, 2018, 10:04:40 AM
Loose long sleeve shirts do work fine a lot of the time.  Man boobs is a good idea since you are older and that is when many guy get them; this can be a problem if you start to get more erect nipples which happen with normal female puberty.  You will just have to wait and see how they grow.

I am growing my boobs for about 3 years now, and my nipples are always erect for ll those years.  That is why shirts with breast pockets are nice, because the pockets hide the nipples pretty well.
Long sleeve shirts are pretty out of the question here in SW Florida, it is simply to warm here to wear them.

But it is not a real problem, because most of my time I present female only, and go male only for car stuff and DIY stuff.

The real problem is the gym, I prefer the male gym outfits over the stylish female ones, because the male stuff is more comfy and allows more airflow to the body!
Once my breasts will get a growth spurt from estrogen, my male gym days may be over!

How long...not much longer if now is even possible.

Showering at the gym is always a challenge for us when we are in the middle of transition. If we have a large chest but still are genital pre-op, we really are not comfortable in either locker room.

If possible, ask your gym owners if they have a private shower. If not, then the only safe option is to go home and shower there.

Quote from: Dani on December 05, 2018, 09:47:15 PM

If possible, ask your gym owners if they have a private shower. If not, then the only safe option is to go home and shower there.

I think that is what I will do.  The driving time between the gym and my house is less tan 5 minutes, and I can keep the car windows open all year round!

Even though I'm post-op and present as female most of the time, when we go to square dances my S.O. wants me to present in male mode as her partner ... So with a man's western shirt and a bandana neck tie & jeans ... I'm just a "guy" with longer hair ... Or so I thought.  But then I needed a bathroom break, and on my way into the mens room (an uncomfortable and unusual thing for me) I was turned away at the door by a man coming out who said "no, the women's room is over there" ... So there you have it.  Even when you try, if you can't "pass" in male mode, you're beyond the "limit" as to how much longer you can go as a male, and you have to recognize that point yourself.  I failed at that I guess!

Quote from: Roberta W on January 05, 2019, 08:34:42 AM
Even though I'm post-op and present as female most of the time, when we go to square dances my S.O. wants me to present in male mode as her partner ... So with a man's western shirt and a bandana neck tie & jeans ... I'm just a "guy" with longer hair ... Or so I thought.  But then I needed a bathroom break, and on my way into the mens room (an uncomfortable and unusual thing for me) I was turned away at the door by a man coming out who said "no, the women's room is over there" ... So there you have it.  Even when you try, if you can't "pass" in male mode, you're beyond the "limit" as to how much longer you can go as a male, and you have to recognize that point yourself.  I failed at that I guess!

That is your mental self image. When you don clothes from a past life it's hard not to feel back where one was. However ones mental image of themselves and what other people can physically see are occasionally contrasted by vast margins.

I found my old leather jacket from just before I transitioned. I have a feeling if I put it on now people would assume that I'm wearing my boyfriends jacket and wonder where he is.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 05, 2019, 11:17:38 AM
That is your mental self image. When you don clothes from a past life it's hard not to feel back where one was. However ones mental image of themselves and what other people can physically see are occasionally contrasted by vast margins.

I found my old leather jacket from just before I transitioned. I have a feeling if I put it on now people would assume that I'm wearing my boyfriends jacket and wonder where he is.

I have no dysphoria or anything like this if I go as a male.  But I slowly have to get a binder to be able to hide my breasts.  But once I am in a male outfit, only my voice would give me away as not being that really macho guy.  But I never had a deep voice anyway, and am used to make up for that wimpy guy voice by acting macho like.  I still can do that without any problem, because I still don't have a clearly defined gender identity.
Every morning when I wake up, I have to decide new if I want to be a man or a woman the upcoming day.  99% of the mornings I decide to be a woman, and go as man only if it is of benefits to me.

I talked with my psychologist about this, and she is of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with, some people are just like this, intersex may play a role with it.
Sometimes I feel like a kind of a super person, who just can change gender at will, but most of the times it is a burden, not knowing who or what one is, and having to decide it every day new again.

Quote from: Dani on December 05, 2018, 09:47:15 PM
Showering at the gym is always a challenge for us when we are in the middle of transition. If we have a large chest but still are genital pre-op, we really are not comfortable in either locker room.

If possible, ask your gym owners if they have a private shower. If not, then the only safe option is to go home and shower there.

I agree with Dani 100%. As I read this thread, my mind immediately jumped to safety concerns as it relates to how you present at the gym. I think you need to do whatever makes you the most comfortable and happy, but also bear in mind that showering may be best done at home so as not to cause any safety issues from fellow gym members who are less-than-tolerable.

Maybe you should ook at this in another way. My daughter in law would not be seen dead in woman's clothes even in the gym. She cannot hide anything if you know what I mean. Just continue going to the gym dressed male. I think it is so much easier to present male if you are a woman or pass as such then the other way round. Society excepts it as a norm
Oh and of course shower at home. I never used the gym showers

I miss going to the gym. Used to go with a girl friend from work. Now I live in a small UK village and the gym is miles away, no one to go with and working late makes it impractical

Love Jessica

Quote from: Dietlind on January 06, 2019, 12:08:12 AM
I have no dysphoria or anything like this if I go as a male.  But I slowly have to get a binder to be able to hide my breasts.  But once I am in a male outfit, only my voice would give me away as not being that really macho guy.  But I never had a deep voice anyway, and am used to make up for that wimpy guy voice by acting macho like.  I still can do that without any problem, because I still don't have a clearly defined gender identity.
Every morning when I wake up, I have to decide new if I want to be a man or a woman the upcoming day.  99% of the mornings I decide to be a woman, and go as man only if it is of benefits to me.

I talked with my psychologist about this, and she is of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with, some people are just like this, intersex may play a role with it.
Sometimes I feel like a kind of a super person, who just can change gender at will, but most of the times it is a burden, not knowing who or what one is, and having to decide it every day new again.

Ok but I was talking about Roberta's man card getting cut up despite presenting as a guy for her wife.

To be able to pass both ways and not one or the other would require being androgynous. However to be too far in the middle would simply confuse people and their reactions would probably be telling as to if they read you or not. I suspect since it doesn't sound like this is happening you look more female then you think. Maybe not enough to be read as female yet but the time could be soon when you too will get read as a woman even when it would have benefited you to be read as male.

Quote from: Loved_PrincessMPLS on January 06, 2019, 01:05:59 AM
I agree with Dani 100%. As I read this thread, my mind immediately jumped to safety concerns as it relates to how you present at the gym. I think you need to do whatever makes you the most comfortable and happy, but also bear in mind that showering may be best done at home so as not to cause any safety issues from fellow gym members who are less-than-tolerable.

Safety at my gym is not an issue, we became all kind of "buddies" there over time.  And at the time of day when I go there, we are "old folks" only anyway.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 06, 2019, 03:12:27 AM
Ok but I was talking about Roberta's man card getting cut up despite presenting as a guy for her wife.

To be able to pass both ways and not one or the other would require being androgynous. However to be too far in the middle would simply confuse people and their reactions would probably be telling as to if they read you or not. I suspect since it doesn't sound like this is happening you look more female then you think. Maybe not enough to be read as female yet but the time could be soon when you too will get read as a woman even when it would have benefited you to be read as male.

I am pretty sure that the day will come, which calls for the end of my "man roll play".  I do it less and less now already, because it is more and more work to be male looking  (hair, fingernails, makeup, hiding the girls which seem to have a growth spurt currently).  But the interesting thing is that being male or being female, will not cause any dysphoria for me.  I seem to be able to really care less, which set of sex characteristics I have (or display), and I still have to make the decission every morning, what I would like to be during the upcoming day.  I still seem not to have any clear gender identity, and am floating around more or less in a gender free vacuum.
It might sound interesting to be that way, but it is not really fun, but that it is how it was most of my life (or at least for the last wo decades, because society cannot pressure me into being a certain gender anymore).

And you are right, I am starting to confuse people a lot now.  My friends hate it when they see me as a male instead of a female, and I get scolded about it, which I do not like a lot.  This is the reason that I present about 99.5% of my time as a female, and only go as a male when it is of advantage to me.  But I still have to make this decision every morning new, because I really don't know what gender I am!

When I signed up for gym they set me up as female even though my ID stated male. I pass reasonably well but I am always on alert in the locker room and seek out areas where I am mostly by myself. I have showered once there but in general I will shower at home and only change before from normal cloths to gym cloths, on the way out I only buy on my street shoes. I do think this will all change later this year after I had surgery.

So far I have not had any problems and no one has ever given me any looks.

I did research the gym chain and while they do not have a written policy, one of their executives has defended a trans woman using the female locker room in a different town a few years back.

I do make one big exception: if I have hair removal week and need to grow a beard I show up fully dressed and skip the locker room altogether. But that is soon over since I am on the home stretch.

Hugs,

Sarah

Quote from: Dani on December 05, 2018, 09:47:15 PM
Showering at the gym is always a challenge for us when we are in the middle of transition. If we have a large chest but still are genital pre-op, we really are not comfortable in either locker room.

If possible, ask your gym owners if they have a private shower. If not, then the only safe option is to go home and shower there.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 06, 2019, 03:12:27 AM
Ok but I was talking about Roberta's man card getting cut up despite presenting as a guy for her wife.

To be able to pass both ways and not one or the other would require being androgynous. However to be too far in the middle would simply confuse people and their reactions would probably be telling as to if they read you or not. I suspect since it doesn't sound like this is happening you look more female then you think. Maybe not enough to be read as female yet but the time could be soon when you too will get read as a woman even when it would have benefited you to be read as male.

You're right.  I've given up an ever trying to present as male ... I have my permanent makeup, I have no facial hair and my head-hair is longer ... And my nails are always painted ... So no matter what clothes I wear, people always read me as female.  I'm sure we've all see a girl working in overalls somewhere, but we still read that person as female.  So for the dances where my wife wants me to "present as male", the best I can do is wear jeans & a top instead of a dress, but everyone will still read me as a woman dancing the man's part.  I'm good with that!

Quote from: Roberta W on February 25, 2019, 03:17:01 PM
You're right.  I've given up an ever trying to present as male ... I have my permanent makeup, I have no facial hair and my head-hair is longer ... And my nails are always painted ... So no matter what clothes I wear, people always read me as female.  I'm sure we've all see a girl working in overalls somewhere, but we still read that person as female.  So for the dances where my wife wants me to "present as male", the best I can do is wear jeans & a top instead of a dress, but everyone will still read me as a woman dancing the man's part.  I'm good with that!

I am slowly approaching this point, too.  I male failed several times over the course of the last two weeks, and depending what being without testicles now is doing to me, my guy days might be over sooner than I want them to be over!