Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: BlueJaye on December 28, 2018, 09:45:40 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Dealing with objections and negotiations from wife...
Post by: BlueJaye on December 28, 2018, 09:45:40 PM
Post by: BlueJaye on December 28, 2018, 09:45:40 PM
My wife now understands that I am very serious about wanting to transition and we have been having deeper conversations about it. Reality is starting to hit her. At first she was all "I love you and want you to be safe and well". But now it's hitting her that things will change majorly for us.
She asks questions like whether I could just hide the changes to my body and continue essentially as I am to the outside world. She doesn't seem to want to accept that hiding who I am is what has driven me close to suicide many times. I don't want to just continue hiding myself but doing it while on HRT.
I seriously don't think I can keep the suicidal thoughts and crippling depression under control for the rest of my life. That's why I had to come out. I had to tell the truth and take action to make changes.
She asks questions like whether I could just hide the changes to my body and continue essentially as I am to the outside world. She doesn't seem to want to accept that hiding who I am is what has driven me close to suicide many times. I don't want to just continue hiding myself but doing it while on HRT.
I seriously don't think I can keep the suicidal thoughts and crippling depression under control for the rest of my life. That's why I had to come out. I had to tell the truth and take action to make changes.
Title: Re: Dealing with objections and negotiations from wife...
Post by: Jessica_Rose on December 28, 2018, 10:16:11 PM
Post by: Jessica_Rose on December 28, 2018, 10:16:11 PM
My wife was mad as hell when I came out to her. I knew she was unhappy, but I simply did not giver her a choice. I never even told her when I started HRT because I knew she would be upset. I did what I needed to do, and on the rare occasions when she was receptive I provided updates. For the most part I left her alone, I nudged her at times but didn't push too hard. We slept in separate rooms quite often. After about 18 months, including several visits with a therapist, my wife finally began accepting this change. After a few more months she realized that I am now a much better person then the one I used to be. She is still getting used to it, but now she even supports my decision for GCS.
From your post it seems that hiding no longer works, which leaves very few options. I know some people may be content with presenting as their preferred gender on weekends, or outside of work. Of course there are others who know their only option is to go full-time. You are the only person who can answer that question. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
From your post it seems that hiding no longer works, which leaves very few options. I know some people may be content with presenting as their preferred gender on weekends, or outside of work. Of course there are others who know their only option is to go full-time. You are the only person who can answer that question. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
Love always -- Jessica Rose