Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: 123trans on April 08, 2019, 03:32:28 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: 123trans on April 08, 2019, 03:32:28 PM
Post by: 123trans on April 08, 2019, 03:32:28 PM
I'm kind of in a difficult place in my life right now and I'm kind of stressed about it. I'm a trans woman and I don't have much experience sexually. I was seeing another trans woman recently for only about a month. Things were great physically, but I won't get into details of why I broke up with her.
One part of it though, and I stress just one part, is that I've never had "regular" sex with a cis woman, and it's something I want to experience before deciding on bottom surgery. I'm almost 30 and I'm just really embarrased that it's never happened and the further I go into my transition I feel like the less I'd be able to perform anyways, but I am happy with the physical changes overall, besides how it might affect this one thing.
I guess I'm just looking for some sort of encouragement or validation. I am getting therapy but I seem to worry a lot about this one thing.
One part of it though, and I stress just one part, is that I've never had "regular" sex with a cis woman, and it's something I want to experience before deciding on bottom surgery. I'm almost 30 and I'm just really embarrased that it's never happened and the further I go into my transition I feel like the less I'd be able to perform anyways, but I am happy with the physical changes overall, besides how it might affect this one thing.
I guess I'm just looking for some sort of encouragement or validation. I am getting therapy but I seem to worry a lot about this one thing.
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: GingerVicki on April 08, 2019, 03:40:13 PM
Post by: GingerVicki on April 08, 2019, 03:40:13 PM
I would suggest to let things happen naturally.
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on April 08, 2019, 04:05:51 PM
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on April 08, 2019, 04:05:51 PM
Call an escort and sort it out. Nobody gets hurt that way and it will remove the what if factor.
Kirsten x.
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Kirsten x.
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: Maddie on April 08, 2019, 04:37:05 PM
Post by: Maddie on April 08, 2019, 04:37:05 PM
Seems totally valid for you to want this.
Personally don't want to encourage or discourage you.
plz b careful
Personally don't want to encourage or discourage you.
plz b careful
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: krobinson103 on April 08, 2019, 06:36:56 PM
Post by: krobinson103 on April 08, 2019, 06:36:56 PM
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on April 08, 2019, 04:05:51 PM
Call an escort and sort it out. Nobody gets hurt that way and it will remove the what if factor.
Kirsten x.
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
If it was me and I just wanted to see what it was like this sounds like a good plan.
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: 123trans on April 08, 2019, 06:38:56 PM
Post by: 123trans on April 08, 2019, 06:38:56 PM
I'm pretty uncomfortable with this honestly but I do support sex work. I feel like it won't mean anything to me. I'd rather know someone first.
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on April 08, 2019, 07:22:41 PM
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on April 08, 2019, 07:22:41 PM
Quote from: 123trans on April 08, 2019, 06:38:56 PMYou will have to tell them up front. There is no such thing as no strings attached.
I'm pretty uncomfortable with this honestly but I do support sex work. I feel like it won't mean anything to me. I'd rather know someone first.
With kind regards, Kirsten.
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Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: krobinson103 on April 08, 2019, 07:28:17 PM
Post by: krobinson103 on April 08, 2019, 07:28:17 PM
Quote from: 123trans on April 08, 2019, 06:38:56 PM
I'm pretty uncomfortable with this honestly but I do support sex work. I feel like it won't mean anything to me. I'd rather know someone first.
I found my forever partner (cis gender female) but I was honest from the first. You will find that there are many who will run a mile...
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: 123trans on April 09, 2019, 05:42:23 PM
Post by: 123trans on April 09, 2019, 05:42:23 PM
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on April 08, 2019, 07:22:41 PM
You will have to tell them up front. There is no such thing as no strings attached.
With kind regards, Kirsten.
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
I don't think this is a hard rule. For some women it's a turn off/or they're put off by it for various reasons.
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on April 09, 2019, 08:06:30 PM
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on April 09, 2019, 08:06:30 PM
Quote from: 123trans on April 09, 2019, 05:42:23 PMIn any case her long term satisfaction and feelings matter. I have made the mistake of thinking its only a fling. I wish I could have done certain romances better.
I don't think this is a hard rule. For some women it's a turn off/or they're put off by it for various reasons.
Kirsten
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Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: Maddie on April 10, 2019, 10:24:10 AM
Post by: Maddie on April 10, 2019, 10:24:10 AM
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on April 09, 2019, 08:06:30 PM
In any case her long term satisfaction and feelings matter.
Yes.
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: 123trans on April 10, 2019, 11:44:36 AM
Post by: 123trans on April 10, 2019, 11:44:36 AM
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on April 09, 2019, 08:06:30 PM
In any case her long term satisfaction and feelings matter. I have made the mistake of thinking its only a fling. I wish I could have done certain romances better.
Kirsten
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Yes for sure, glad you clarified. Wasn't as sure what you meant on your prior post.
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: 123trans on April 11, 2019, 07:44:16 AM
Post by: 123trans on April 11, 2019, 07:44:16 AM
I am very open to a relationship too in general and things progressing naturally. I'm just anxious this hasn't happened yet.
What's wrong with exploring my sexuality before I make a big decision?
Title: Re: Wanting to have experiences before further transitioning
Post by: GingerVicki on April 11, 2019, 10:16:35 AM
Post by: GingerVicki on April 11, 2019, 10:16:35 AM
Quote from: GingerVicki on April 08, 2019, 03:40:13 PM
I would suggest to let things happen naturally.
OH geez! I wouldn't call an escort not because you could catch something, but because it is not a true experience. It is a paid experience and they will do what you pay them to do.