Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: DebbySoufflage on May 11, 2019, 08:51:27 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Envious of girls who get penetrated vaginally
Post by: DebbySoufflage on May 11, 2019, 08:51:27 AM
Post by: DebbySoufflage on May 11, 2019, 08:51:27 AM
I don't know how to bring this up...
So, I'm non-op MtF, HRT for 4 years.
In the beginning I only had a desire to be penetrated anally, but since a couple months I find myself getting envious and sad when I watch porn where the girl gets penetrated vaginally.
It makes me feel jealous, bitter, envious and upset.
Sometimes I also have this when I read SRS diaries. When the woman describes her new anatomy and her feeling of peace and completeness, I have mixed feelings. Happy for her on one hand, jealous on the other hand.
But the thing is that I don't want SRS. Both the physical and psychological to be expected feelings and hurdles scare me like nothing else when it goes about that surgery.
The surgery is too harsh and the psychological effects too invasive for me to be able to deal with.
And my religious parents would be devastated if I got SRS. Which also factored in my decision.
So why am I dealing with these confusing feelings of envy towards vagina-owners?
I will see a therapist to solve these irrational feelings of mine.
Other non-ops who recognise the feelings I described?
Luv,
Debby
So, I'm non-op MtF, HRT for 4 years.
In the beginning I only had a desire to be penetrated anally, but since a couple months I find myself getting envious and sad when I watch porn where the girl gets penetrated vaginally.
It makes me feel jealous, bitter, envious and upset.
Sometimes I also have this when I read SRS diaries. When the woman describes her new anatomy and her feeling of peace and completeness, I have mixed feelings. Happy for her on one hand, jealous on the other hand.
But the thing is that I don't want SRS. Both the physical and psychological to be expected feelings and hurdles scare me like nothing else when it goes about that surgery.
The surgery is too harsh and the psychological effects too invasive for me to be able to deal with.
And my religious parents would be devastated if I got SRS. Which also factored in my decision.
So why am I dealing with these confusing feelings of envy towards vagina-owners?
I will see a therapist to solve these irrational feelings of mine.
Other non-ops who recognise the feelings I described?
Luv,
Debby
Title: Re: Envious of girls who get penetrated vaginally
Post by: Faith on May 11, 2019, 06:33:49 PM
Post by: Faith on May 11, 2019, 06:33:49 PM
very much so .. except I don't watch porn. for me, I would have surgery tomorrow if it were on the table (HAH!) .. I can't due to monetary restrictions. I stop reading the SRS diaries after a certain point. I'm happy for them yet, nope, can't read it.
Title: Re: Envious of girls who get penetrated vaginally
Post by: amandam on May 11, 2019, 11:19:48 PM
Post by: amandam on May 11, 2019, 11:19:48 PM
Part of me wants to be a woman during sex. A complete woman, vagina and everything. I think it comes with the territory.
Title: Re: Envious of girls who get penetrated vaginally
Post by: Danielle Kristina on May 12, 2019, 01:22:47 AM
Post by: Danielle Kristina on May 12, 2019, 01:22:47 AM
Quote from: amandam on May 11, 2019, 11:19:48 PM
Part of me wants to be a woman during sex. A complete woman, vagina and everything. I think it comes with the territory.
I have always felt this way! I've always wanted to be a woman during sex since even before I knew what sex was. Ok, so I had the "Birds and the Bees Talk" with my parents when I was little and knew about sex, but since this was before puberty, I really didn't know anything about sex. Nor did I know that I was trans. I still fantasized about being the woman during sex. After I knew what sex was and how it was done, I still wanted to be the woman even to today. I never knew why I felt this way until I discovered my gender identity.
Danielle
Title: Re: Envious of girls who get penetrated vaginally
Post by: F_P_M on May 12, 2019, 05:15:35 AM
Post by: F_P_M on May 12, 2019, 05:15:35 AM
Oh ladies, I know how you feel. I'm envious of prostates lol. I mean anal is kinda just.. meh when you have a female build down below and it's disappointing.
I'm very much a switch though, with an intense desire to penetrate which I can't do because you know.. I don't have the bits, technology isn't good enough to give me the bits exactly how I want em and a strap on feels pointless because then I couldn't feel it so what's the point man?
Bah.
Just.. BAH.
Like a few of you mentioned, my fantasies are of being the guy despite my biology. I admit I didn't give much thought to it prior to figuring out my gender identity but now I have it makes a heck of a lot of sense that I never ever ever closed my eyes and imagined myself as the female.
*hugs* My own wants may be sort of the complete opposite of you lovely ladies, but at the same time come from the same sort of place. That desire to have what you dont and feel you can't have for various reasons (technology, the fear of surgery, life obligations, etc etc). It's disappointing and it's sad but I suppose we just gotta work with what we've got right? Least that's my plan. To make do.
I guess I console myself in reasoning that it's sort of like a cis guy with a really small dick. He's gotta just make do with what he has right? And many do.
Or cis women who have that condition that means they can't be penetrated vaginally without intense pain.
Point is, a lot of cis people can't have PIV sex either. I remind myself of that when i'm feeling annoyed about my lack of equipment.
Maybe one day we'll have the technology to do things properly but not yet. Least not from the ftm side.
I'm very much a switch though, with an intense desire to penetrate which I can't do because you know.. I don't have the bits, technology isn't good enough to give me the bits exactly how I want em and a strap on feels pointless because then I couldn't feel it so what's the point man?
Bah.
Just.. BAH.
Like a few of you mentioned, my fantasies are of being the guy despite my biology. I admit I didn't give much thought to it prior to figuring out my gender identity but now I have it makes a heck of a lot of sense that I never ever ever closed my eyes and imagined myself as the female.
*hugs* My own wants may be sort of the complete opposite of you lovely ladies, but at the same time come from the same sort of place. That desire to have what you dont and feel you can't have for various reasons (technology, the fear of surgery, life obligations, etc etc). It's disappointing and it's sad but I suppose we just gotta work with what we've got right? Least that's my plan. To make do.
I guess I console myself in reasoning that it's sort of like a cis guy with a really small dick. He's gotta just make do with what he has right? And many do.
Or cis women who have that condition that means they can't be penetrated vaginally without intense pain.
Point is, a lot of cis people can't have PIV sex either. I remind myself of that when i'm feeling annoyed about my lack of equipment.
Maybe one day we'll have the technology to do things properly but not yet. Least not from the ftm side.