Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Roberta_Italy on April 14, 2025, 09:24:46 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Roberta_Italy on April 14, 2025, 09:24:46 AM
Post by: Roberta_Italy on April 14, 2025, 09:24:46 AM
Hi friends,
as some of you already know, I'm italian (italian passport), i trave time by time to US (but I've mssing for a while) and I can only figure out how the situation is from press and from what I read in this Forum.
I still have all my ID's with M gender mark and masculine name, even though the photos show something like a "neutral" gender, which represents me quite well without make up.
Currently, even though i tie my hair, remove the make up and wear casual (like jeans and t-shirt) I still look quite feminine (let's say 60% would address me as madam, 40% as sir).
I should be travelling to Texas (apparently one of the worst states to go to, being a transgender) this summer for business reasons and I am seeking for advice about how to behave.
Can I be free to present myself as a female, or should I "disguise" myself and try and pass as a (someow feminine) male?
WHat about bathroom? do I really risk to be arrested if female ones ? only in state owned premises (e.g. airport) or also in other places like restaurants, malls ?
Please, give me any advice, as I am really scared and I don't really know if I'd better give up to travelling or coming and present myself as a male which really hurts me (as you can very well understand) .
thanks for any support
Roberta
as some of you already know, I'm italian (italian passport), i trave time by time to US (but I've mssing for a while) and I can only figure out how the situation is from press and from what I read in this Forum.
I still have all my ID's with M gender mark and masculine name, even though the photos show something like a "neutral" gender, which represents me quite well without make up.
Currently, even though i tie my hair, remove the make up and wear casual (like jeans and t-shirt) I still look quite feminine (let's say 60% would address me as madam, 40% as sir).
I should be travelling to Texas (apparently one of the worst states to go to, being a transgender) this summer for business reasons and I am seeking for advice about how to behave.
Can I be free to present myself as a female, or should I "disguise" myself and try and pass as a (someow feminine) male?
WHat about bathroom? do I really risk to be arrested if female ones ? only in state owned premises (e.g. airport) or also in other places like restaurants, malls ?
Please, give me any advice, as I am really scared and I don't really know if I'd better give up to travelling or coming and present myself as a male which really hurts me (as you can very well understand) .
thanks for any support
Roberta
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 10:43:52 AM
Post by: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 10:43:52 AM
Quote from: Roberta_Italy on April 14, 2025, 09:24:46 AMhanks for any supportHi Roberta. I live in Montana, which is probably a lot like Texas just not as big. If you were traveling to Missoula or Bozeman, Montana. No one would even notice you. Just about anywhere else in the state? You might be well advised to hire a bodyguard (police escort won't help; they're among the greatest threats) Hope that helps. I've been to Texas. And so much of it is so beautiful. Be safe.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Maid Marion on April 14, 2025, 12:33:17 PM
Post by: Maid Marion on April 14, 2025, 12:33:17 PM
https://www.refugerestrooms.org/
Here is a directory of bathrooms for transgenders.
Last time I went traveling most of the time I just went back to my hotel room.
Here is a directory of bathrooms for transgenders.
Last time I went traveling most of the time I just went back to my hotel room.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Lori Dee on April 14, 2025, 02:26:26 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on April 14, 2025, 02:26:26 PM
I can't speak for the situation in Texas, but when going through Customs at the airport, I would suggest that you look as shown on your passport. Where people run into trouble is if their gender marker has an X, or if they present differently from what their passport shows. If your passport shows M, then my advice would be to travel as an M. Once you leave the airport, the risks decrease... but are never zero.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on April 14, 2025, 02:43:16 PM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on April 14, 2025, 02:43:16 PM
I have not experienced anything bad that is out of line from the past.
Chrissy
Chrissy
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Sarah B on April 14, 2025, 04:56:03 PM
Post by: Sarah B on April 14, 2025, 04:56:03 PM
Hi Everyone
The following is a map of America and it assesses how safe each state is.
It is provided by "Erin in the Morning" (https://www.erininthemorning.com/)
Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
The following is a map of America and it assesses how safe each state is.
It is provided by "Erin in the Morning" (https://www.erininthemorning.com/)
Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: KathyLauren on April 14, 2025, 04:59:15 PM
Post by: KathyLauren on April 14, 2025, 04:59:15 PM
My identification, including birth certificate and passport, have all been updated, so I am an F everywhere. But from my understanding of the situation now in the US, I am not admissible, because I was born as an M.
They would have no way of knowing that, since all my documentation is in order, but I am not 100% passable. If they suspected I was trans, I would be detained. In the men's jail of course. Supposedly, my original birth certificate is sealed and only accessible on a need-to-know basis. But maybe a US Customs officer has a need to know. At which point, if I was lucky, I wold be sent back home. If I was unlucky, I could be sent to a concentration camp.
It is so not worth it that nothing would get me to travel to the US.
They would have no way of knowing that, since all my documentation is in order, but I am not 100% passable. If they suspected I was trans, I would be detained. In the men's jail of course. Supposedly, my original birth certificate is sealed and only accessible on a need-to-know basis. But maybe a US Customs officer has a need to know. At which point, if I was lucky, I wold be sent back home. If I was unlucky, I could be sent to a concentration camp.
It is so not worth it that nothing would get me to travel to the US.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 05:09:46 PM
Post by: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 05:09:46 PM
Quote from: KathyLauren on April 14, 2025, 04:59:15 PMIt is so not worth it that nothing would get me to travel to the US.That is so sad, Kathy Lauren, and so true. The Orange boy is more bluster than fire, but I think there's enough fire to burn all the trans people living in the good ol' US of A. And any trans person brave enough to travel from whatever country they call home to the country I call home. I love America. And I'm not saying that because I'm afraid some dude with a badge will someday subpoena this website, though I tend to choose my words carefully. I keep telling myself: this too, shall pass. And pray I'm right.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Jessica_Rose on April 14, 2025, 06:06:49 PM
Post by: Jessica_Rose on April 14, 2025, 06:06:49 PM
If you want to avoid issues with others, dress and act according to the societal norms matching the gender on your documentation. The less androgenous, the better. Once you've passed through customs and are out of the airport, it will be a little easier to be yourself. I would avoid cowboy bars.
I travel through northern Texas several times a year, and I have never had any issues. No one has ever questioned my gender or my presence in the ladies room. There aren't roving gangs of people looking for members of our community. For the most part, if you don't go looking for trouble, trouble won't find you.
@KathyLauren , if I didn't live here, I wouldn't travel here either!
Love always -- Jessica Rose
I travel through northern Texas several times a year, and I have never had any issues. No one has ever questioned my gender or my presence in the ladies room. There aren't roving gangs of people looking for members of our community. For the most part, if you don't go looking for trouble, trouble won't find you.
@KathyLauren , if I didn't live here, I wouldn't travel here either!
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 07:25:43 PM
Post by: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 07:25:43 PM
I'm just saying that if the US Department of State issued a travel advisory not to travel to Australia, I would probably go to New Zealand. Are foreign trans people safe traveling to the U.S.? I don't know. I don't go anywhere. But I would love to see New Zealand.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Sarah B on April 14, 2025, 08:05:12 PM
Post by: Sarah B on April 14, 2025, 08:05:12 PM
Hi Everyone
Australia and New Zealand are both regarded as generally safe destinations for transgender travellers. Each country has protections against discrimination based on gender identity in various areas of public life. Individuals can usually expect respectful treatment.
Both countries are notable for their vibrant cultural diversity including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities in Australia Māori communities in New Zealand and a wide range of immigrant populations. Carrying identification that matches your name and gender is recommended.
If documents do not align with your appearance or name additional paperwork may be helpful. It is also wise to consult official government resources in advance since regulations can change.
Australia is widely regarded as safe with anti-discrimination laws in effect. New Zealand enforces laws against discrimination based on gender identity.
Visa Requirements for Australia:
Taking basic precautions and carrying proper identification can help ensure a smooth journey. Both Australia and New Zealand maintain inclusive policies and are generally welcoming to diverse travellers
Come one and all and I will put a shrimp (prawn) on the barbie.
Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Australia and New Zealand are both regarded as generally safe destinations for transgender travellers. Each country has protections against discrimination based on gender identity in various areas of public life. Individuals can usually expect respectful treatment.
Both countries are notable for their vibrant cultural diversity including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities in Australia Māori communities in New Zealand and a wide range of immigrant populations. Carrying identification that matches your name and gender is recommended.
If documents do not align with your appearance or name additional paperwork may be helpful. It is also wise to consult official government resources in advance since regulations can change.
Australia is widely regarded as safe with anti-discrimination laws in effect. New Zealand enforces laws against discrimination based on gender identity.
Visa Requirements for Australia:
- Canadian Citizens: Typically need an Electronic Travel Authority (ETA) or an eVisitor visa obtained online before departure
- UK Citizens: Usually apply online for an eVisitor (subclass 651) visa ahead of traveling
- New Zealand Citizens: Normally receive a Special Category Visa on arrival if they meet health and character requirements
Taking basic precautions and carrying proper identification can help ensure a smooth journey. Both Australia and New Zealand maintain inclusive policies and are generally welcoming to diverse travellers
Come one and all and I will put a shrimp (prawn) on the barbie.
Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 08:38:47 PM
Post by: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 08:38:47 PM
Quote from: Sarah B on April 14, 2025, 08:05:12 PMCome one and all and I will put a shrimp (prawn) on the barbie.Sarah B, you are awesome! And I meant no offense to the Land Down Under. Please, allow me to change my hypothetical to the UK and Ireland. Ireland does have a travel advisory. Fortunately, I'm Scottish (though we're the same thing as Irish, we just live on different sides of the coast).
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: darksou on April 16, 2025, 03:35:57 PM
Post by: darksou on April 16, 2025, 03:35:57 PM
I don't live in the US, so take this with a grain of salt. I heard that european countries are advising against travelling to the US unless your documents are 100% okay, but there is one person from France that was stopped for having negative opinions on the current administration of the country and I heard of some scary cases of people being detained or put to jail without having any issues with their documents. Some weren't allowed to get in just because they had negative opinions of the country's president.
Basically, it seems the US has been currently isolating itself from other countries in general. I wouldn't be able to travel there as I pass as a man 99% of the time and all my documents are marked with M, however, I was assigned female at birth. I also happen to be a latino which would be enough reason for them to not want me in the country. My name is clearly not in English and I look like a latino.
Basically, it seems the US has been currently isolating itself from other countries in general. I wouldn't be able to travel there as I pass as a man 99% of the time and all my documents are marked with M, however, I was assigned female at birth. I also happen to be a latino which would be enough reason for them to not want me in the country. My name is clearly not in English and I look like a latino.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Lori Dee on April 16, 2025, 03:51:25 PM
Post by: Lori Dee on April 16, 2025, 03:51:25 PM
Quote from: darksou on April 16, 2025, 03:35:57 PMthere is one person from France that was stopped for having negative opinions on the current administration of the country and I heard of some scary cases of people being detained or put to jail without having any issues with their documents. Some weren't allowed to get in just because they had negative opinions of the country's president.
It has happened. While going through the security screening, they checked the person's phone and saw negative comments on the social media app. We live in scary times.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: MaryXYX on April 17, 2025, 02:59:20 AM
Post by: MaryXYX on April 17, 2025, 02:59:20 AM
I'm in the UK. Our Supreme Court has just enacted a measure that a person's "sex" means the sex as declared at birth and can't be changed. It's too early to know how this will work out but I might have to emigrate. New Zealand looks like a good place but you can't get any further from home!
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Maid Marion on April 17, 2025, 08:29:29 AM
Post by: Maid Marion on April 17, 2025, 08:29:29 AM
Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 14, 2025, 10:43:52 AMHi Roberta. I live in Montana, which is probably a lot like Texas just not as big. If you were traveling to Missoula or Bozeman, Montana. No one would even notice you. Just about anywhere else in the state? You might be well advised to hire a bodyguard (police escort won't help; they're among the greatest threats) Hope that helps. I've been to Texas. And so much of it is so beautiful. Be safe.Many of these states also allow you to carry a firearm without a permit.
Maybe a visible firearm would work as well as a bodyguard?
I once did the last presentation at a conference in the Midwest,
After I was done there was a show and tell of the concealed firearms members of the audience were carrying.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Jessica_Rose on April 17, 2025, 09:31:02 AM
Post by: Jessica_Rose on April 17, 2025, 09:31:02 AM
'Concealed' means just that, 'concealed'. If you have a valid concealed carry permit, or are in a 'constitutional carry' state, and 'flash' your weapon (temporarily make it visible), you can be arrested. Some states allow 'open carry', which means it must be visible at all times. If you are in an open carry state, and are carrying a concealed weapon, 'flashing' it is most likely illegal. The laws vary greatly from state to state. Please do your research on this. Our community is already under enough scrutiny right now.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Lori Dee on April 17, 2025, 10:28:24 AM
Post by: Lori Dee on April 17, 2025, 10:28:24 AM
Quote from: Jessica_Rose on April 17, 2025, 09:31:02 AMThe laws vary greatly from state to state. Please do your research on this. Our community is already under enough scrutiny right now.
A very good point. Here in South Dakota, we have constitutional carry as a state law. Concealed carry permits are available for residents who might need one while traveling to other states that require them. But South Dakota is hardly a trans-friendly place.
The problem with carrying is what police call "weapon focus". People naturally focus their attention on a weapon. This is why many eye-witness accounts are unreliable, because the victim was so busy looking at the gun that they ignored other identifying features of the perpetrator.
So you might have been "passing" and no one noticed you, but your weapon will draw attention, even from others who also might be carrying. We don't need extra attention coming our way.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: D'Amalie on April 17, 2025, 01:23:21 PM
Post by: D'Amalie on April 17, 2025, 01:23:21 PM
I'm more concerned about being me, traveling comfortably in style. So what If I get clocked. Just "Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave."
I travel frequently in the U.S, and been back and forth to Europe a few times in the last 5 years. Not that today's environment is the same as last year's. My documents are all M, yet because I travel androgynously I've not experienced trouble. I wear women's slacks or jeans, shoes, bra, V-neck sweaters or T's, long hair femme styled, mascara and both ears pierced, but no lipstick (a bit of gloss if my lips are dry.
I don't exhibit fully F or M. Never had trouble, but I did get a second look and a query at a random pat down leaving Baltimore last month because they felt my bra clasp. All I had to say, looking them squarely in the eye with innocence, is "It's my bra" leaving out the smarty pants rejoinder, "Why, don't you wear one?" Not that today's environment is the same as last year's. I think confidence measurably affects your treatment by officialdom. Be polite, don't argue, if you get clocked don't make an issue of it. Travel with M or F documents not X. My understanding is that the X marker gets you stopped hard on US entry. There is no easy way to deal with bigots. But in public its hard to way what the local populace opinion is.
Look as close as you can to your passport. Todays facial recognition stations at TSA are really good. Lipstick won't disturb that technology. Just travel incognito as they used to say. Dressing "to the Nines" isn't a normal cultural thing in the US except fancy do's at any rate. Be confident and polite. I wouldn't expect to be confronted. Don't over think it. If you have F docs then you are F. If you have M docs, don't hide it. Get on with your life.
I travel frequently in the U.S, and been back and forth to Europe a few times in the last 5 years. Not that today's environment is the same as last year's. My documents are all M, yet because I travel androgynously I've not experienced trouble. I wear women's slacks or jeans, shoes, bra, V-neck sweaters or T's, long hair femme styled, mascara and both ears pierced, but no lipstick (a bit of gloss if my lips are dry.
I don't exhibit fully F or M. Never had trouble, but I did get a second look and a query at a random pat down leaving Baltimore last month because they felt my bra clasp. All I had to say, looking them squarely in the eye with innocence, is "It's my bra" leaving out the smarty pants rejoinder, "Why, don't you wear one?" Not that today's environment is the same as last year's. I think confidence measurably affects your treatment by officialdom. Be polite, don't argue, if you get clocked don't make an issue of it. Travel with M or F documents not X. My understanding is that the X marker gets you stopped hard on US entry. There is no easy way to deal with bigots. But in public its hard to way what the local populace opinion is.
Look as close as you can to your passport. Todays facial recognition stations at TSA are really good. Lipstick won't disturb that technology. Just travel incognito as they used to say. Dressing "to the Nines" isn't a normal cultural thing in the US except fancy do's at any rate. Be confident and polite. I wouldn't expect to be confronted. Don't over think it. If you have F docs then you are F. If you have M docs, don't hide it. Get on with your life.
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 14, 2025, 02:26:26 PMI can't speak for the situation in Texas, but when going through Customs at the airport, I would suggest that you look as shown on your passport. Where people run into trouble is if their gender marker has an X, or if they present differently from what their passport shows. If your passport shows M, then my advice would be to travel as an M. Once you leave the airport, the risks decrease... but are never zero.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on April 17, 2025, 08:37:11 PM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on April 17, 2025, 08:37:11 PM
I wish all of us ease of travel.
It would likely be very good "to modestly dress as the gender" as mentioned on your travel documents when going through travel security. That is what I do.
Chrissy
It would likely be very good "to modestly dress as the gender" as mentioned on your travel documents when going through travel security. That is what I do.
Chrissy
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Lexxi on April 17, 2025, 11:42:07 PM
Post by: Lexxi on April 17, 2025, 11:42:07 PM
I'm not sure which county it is in Texas that does this, but it's against the law for a trans person to go into the bathroom of their gender identity. As crazy as it sounds one of those Texas counties but out a $10,000 bounty for people to collect if they find a transgender person in a bathroom that doesn't match their birth gender.
So please be very careful.
So please be very careful.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Jessica_Rose on April 18, 2025, 07:08:16 AM
Post by: Jessica_Rose on April 18, 2025, 07:08:16 AM
Quote from: Lexxi on April 17, 2025, 11:42:07 PMI'm not sure which county it is in Texas that does this, but it's against the law for a trans person to go into the bathroom of their gender identity. As crazy as it sounds one of those Texas counties but out a $10,000 bounty for people to collect if they find a transgender person in a bathroom that doesn't match their birth gender.
So please be very careful.
It's Odessa, TX. There may be others.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: MistressStevie on April 18, 2025, 11:25:29 AM
Post by: MistressStevie on April 18, 2025, 11:25:29 AM
Urban Texas should continue to be safe. The Rural Texas divide with Austin is age old and showing up in this battle today. This fall will be telling though as we digest this years Texas legislative session. That is based on experience earned having worked in Austin. Maybe relocation needs to be added to many planning lists. I had long thought UK safer then Texas until this week in their Supreme Court.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Roberta_Italy on July 03, 2025, 04:24:13 AM
Post by: Roberta_Italy on July 03, 2025, 04:24:13 AM
So, here I am, almost ready to fly to USA: I'll be landing in Houston Texas in a week , for a business related trip. While Erin in the Morning marks Texas as a "don't travel" state for foreign transgender people, and I'm quite worried.
Traveling with M passport, and a personal appearance that can vary from somehow androgynous to frankly feminine dependint on outfit, hair style makeup etc...
For the border control I think I'll go for the androgenous look, minimum makeup tied up hair, but what to do after, in day by day life (I'm planning to stay one week) ?
The most prudent solution should be misgender myself and present as a male, but that hurts !!! I wish to show the real me, as a woman, and I ask you firends, do I risk being arrested ? for instance if I enter into a ladies bathroom in a restaurant ?
sorry to bother you, any advice would be helplful at this time
ciao
Roberta
Traveling with M passport, and a personal appearance that can vary from somehow androgynous to frankly feminine dependint on outfit, hair style makeup etc...
For the border control I think I'll go for the androgenous look, minimum makeup tied up hair, but what to do after, in day by day life (I'm planning to stay one week) ?
The most prudent solution should be misgender myself and present as a male, but that hurts !!! I wish to show the real me, as a woman, and I ask you firends, do I risk being arrested ? for instance if I enter into a ladies bathroom in a restaurant ?
sorry to bother you, any advice would be helplful at this time
ciao
Roberta
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Athena on July 03, 2025, 06:27:02 AM
Post by: Athena on July 03, 2025, 06:27:02 AM
Hey Roberta as apparently a passing trans woman, I live about 10 minutes from the Michigan border which is apparently a relatively trans friendly state and I still will not risk travel to the U.S. anymore. My passport is listed as female.
If there is no way to avoid travel to the U.S. then sanitize your electronics. If you have anything criticizing Trump or even anything showing that you are trans then get rid of it before travel to the U.S.
Looking at your profile picture you pass very well but with "M" on your passport be very careful, I wouldn't even bring clothes that are even slightly feminine. It's a terrible situation but I.C.E. is terrible and they look for any reason to at best refuse entry at worst take into custody to foreign nationals. Expect that they will be looking through your electronics, they may even ask your opinion on the current administration.
I know as a trans woman I am very paranoid but currently I believe there are 55 Canadians in ICE custody at the moment and 1 died last week in custody. I don't know the reason that they are in custody but even if I wasn't trans I would be concerned about travel to the U.S. in this environment.
Anyways as I said I am extremely paranoid but stay safe and don't give them a reason.
If there is no way to avoid travel to the U.S. then sanitize your electronics. If you have anything criticizing Trump or even anything showing that you are trans then get rid of it before travel to the U.S.
Looking at your profile picture you pass very well but with "M" on your passport be very careful, I wouldn't even bring clothes that are even slightly feminine. It's a terrible situation but I.C.E. is terrible and they look for any reason to at best refuse entry at worst take into custody to foreign nationals. Expect that they will be looking through your electronics, they may even ask your opinion on the current administration.
I know as a trans woman I am very paranoid but currently I believe there are 55 Canadians in ICE custody at the moment and 1 died last week in custody. I don't know the reason that they are in custody but even if I wasn't trans I would be concerned about travel to the U.S. in this environment.
Anyways as I said I am extremely paranoid but stay safe and don't give them a reason.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Pema on July 03, 2025, 11:51:46 AM
Post by: Pema on July 03, 2025, 11:51:46 AM
Quote from: Roberta_Italy on July 03, 2025, 04:24:13 AMSo, here I am, almost ready to fly to USA: I'll be landing in Houston Texas in a week , for a business related trip. While Erin in the Morning marks Texas as a "don't travel" state for foreign transgender people, and I'm quite worried.
Traveling with M passport, and a personal appearance that can vary from somehow androgynous to frankly feminine dependint on outfit, hair style makeup etc...
For the border control I think I'll go for the androgenous look, minimum makeup tied up hair, but what to do after, in day by day life (I'm planning to stay one week) ?
The most prudent solution should be misgender myself and present as a male, but that hurts !!! I wish to show the real me, as a woman, and I ask you firends, do I risk being arrested ? for instance if I enter into a ladies bathroom in a restaurant ?
sorry to bother you, any advice would be helplful at this time
ciao
Roberta
Honestly, I think anything is possible in Texas. Some of it depends on where in Texas you're going. Places like Austin, San Antonio, and other cities with universities are likely to be "safer," but all it takes is one redneck or a small group of them to have an ugly situation.
I'm someone who feels a strong responsibility to share my authentic self with the people in my life. My mother lives in Texas, and I would not take the risk of exposing myself there.
If you can, I recommend trying to stay close to people who will defend you if necessary.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Roberta_Italy on July 31, 2025, 06:37:14 AM
Post by: Roberta_Italy on July 31, 2025, 06:37:14 AM
Hi friends,
first of all let me thank you all who gave me support in getting ready for my trip to USA.
Eventulally I did it: I was one full week in Houston - Texas and all went well.
Having the M gender marker in my passport, for the immigration procedures only I removed any trace of makeup and strictly tied my hair; I was wearing kind or genderless baggy throusers and T-shirt, and I had no issues in the passport control.
In the following days I was back in feminine mode, also during my working days in a mechanical workshop in the neighborood of Houston (my role was kind of advisor). I made clear with the local management that I was a Transgender person, asked about their bathroom policy and I was allowed to use the Ladies.
Most of the times I was addressed as Ma'am, occasionally I was misgendered and it's annoying but ok, I can survive. I didn't record any aggressive o discriminating action by anybody.
So in conclusion, I was a very positive stay, no issue at all, even though I was always aware that law was under several points of view against us transgender community and I was very careful in all my actions
cheers
Roberta
first of all let me thank you all who gave me support in getting ready for my trip to USA.
Eventulally I did it: I was one full week in Houston - Texas and all went well.
Having the M gender marker in my passport, for the immigration procedures only I removed any trace of makeup and strictly tied my hair; I was wearing kind or genderless baggy throusers and T-shirt, and I had no issues in the passport control.
In the following days I was back in feminine mode, also during my working days in a mechanical workshop in the neighborood of Houston (my role was kind of advisor). I made clear with the local management that I was a Transgender person, asked about their bathroom policy and I was allowed to use the Ladies.
Most of the times I was addressed as Ma'am, occasionally I was misgendered and it's annoying but ok, I can survive. I didn't record any aggressive o discriminating action by anybody.
So in conclusion, I was a very positive stay, no issue at all, even though I was always aware that law was under several points of view against us transgender community and I was very careful in all my actions
cheers
Roberta
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Lori Dee on July 31, 2025, 08:06:54 AM
Post by: Lori Dee on July 31, 2025, 08:06:54 AM
Thanks for the update, Roberta!
Good to see you back here. We are happy that you had no issues with your trip.
Good to see you back here. We are happy that you had no issues with your trip.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Courtney G on August 01, 2025, 04:19:02 PM
Post by: Courtney G on August 01, 2025, 04:19:02 PM
As an aside, "transgenders" is considered a slur. Using that noun to describe transgender people (or even to say "transgendered people") is not advised. I'm older, as many of us are, and terms change. I know it's sometimes hard to keep up, but we need to try.
Roberta: I'm very happy that the trip went well for you. Unfortunately, people from outside of the U.S. have been led to believe that we're all living in a dystopian hellscape. I can tell you that while our current federal administration is indeed horrific, there are many states, counties, cities and towns here that DO respect LGBTQ people. Unfortunately, a significant portion of our population has been mislead. They've been fed lies and misinformation and most remain plugged into an information network that reinforces their biases. I do wish people would educate themselves and learn about what's going wrong here, but most don't want their beliefs challenged. And blaming "others" for their perceived problems is a go-to strategy, one that is largely paid for by wealthy folks who are happy to pit us against one another while they cheat on their taxes, destroy the planet and pick our pockets.
But I digress.
I have an "X" gender marker on both my driver's license and passport. It most accurately reflects how I feel about my gender right now. I present as male but years of HRT have softened my looks to something neither male nor female. I know that my choice has made it potentially difficult for me, but I haven't yet run into any trouble. There are definitely a few countries to which I cannot travel!
The searching of electronic devices at the border is relatively rare and no, customs officers are not asking if people "like Trump." This is one of those urban legends that has grown legs. If anyone has DIRECTLY experienced something different, I'd love to hear about it, but the stories always come from "my uncle's employee's mother-in-law, so be wary of stuff you read online.
Roberta: I'm very happy that the trip went well for you. Unfortunately, people from outside of the U.S. have been led to believe that we're all living in a dystopian hellscape. I can tell you that while our current federal administration is indeed horrific, there are many states, counties, cities and towns here that DO respect LGBTQ people. Unfortunately, a significant portion of our population has been mislead. They've been fed lies and misinformation and most remain plugged into an information network that reinforces their biases. I do wish people would educate themselves and learn about what's going wrong here, but most don't want their beliefs challenged. And blaming "others" for their perceived problems is a go-to strategy, one that is largely paid for by wealthy folks who are happy to pit us against one another while they cheat on their taxes, destroy the planet and pick our pockets.
But I digress.
I have an "X" gender marker on both my driver's license and passport. It most accurately reflects how I feel about my gender right now. I present as male but years of HRT have softened my looks to something neither male nor female. I know that my choice has made it potentially difficult for me, but I haven't yet run into any trouble. There are definitely a few countries to which I cannot travel!
The searching of electronic devices at the border is relatively rare and no, customs officers are not asking if people "like Trump." This is one of those urban legends that has grown legs. If anyone has DIRECTLY experienced something different, I'd love to hear about it, but the stories always come from "my uncle's employee's mother-in-law, so be wary of stuff you read online.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Tills on August 02, 2025, 11:42:59 PM
Post by: Tills on August 02, 2025, 11:42:59 PM
Quote from: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 08:38:47 PMIreland does have a travel advisory.
Hi Dances. What is the travel advisory for Ireland?
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Tills on August 02, 2025, 11:57:12 PM
Post by: Tills on August 02, 2025, 11:57:12 PM
Quote from: Dances With Trees on April 14, 2025, 07:25:43 PMI'm just saying that if the US Department of State issued a travel advisory not to travel to Australia, I would probably go to New Zealand. Are foreign trans people safe traveling to the U.S.? I don't know. I don't go anywhere. But I would love to see New Zealand.
I loved Australia and have a booking to go back there this autumn, although I may remain in Ireland.
NZ was great too but somewhat over-hyped in my humble opinion, apart from the Milford Sound which exceeded everything and is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Mind you, so is Lake Louise and that's not so far. The Canadian Rockies are every bit as beautiful as the Southern Alps, more so in my opinion.
The visa info given earlier isn't quite correct. As a UK citizen you must apply for an e-visa before visiting either Aus or NZ and for NZ you have to fill out a biosecurity section.
Both countries were a breeze. Go as a woman, live as a woman. No one gives a sh*t ;) Aussies were super friendly and super-chilled. Kiwis were marginally more reserved imho but that's nothing to do with your gender: more of a settler spirit in tough terrain and true for all-comers.
If you want to live the rest of your life forgetting you were ever born into the wrong body and relaxing that you won't ever again need to discuss the issue or face discrimination ... go and live in Sydney.
xx
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Tills on August 03, 2025, 12:03:10 AM
Post by: Tills on August 03, 2025, 12:03:10 AM
Now, I don't mean to be offensive to my US friends but personally I thought the US was an awful mess long before the orange oik was elected.
The cities are imho horrendous and there's so much homelessness and crime. I never felt safe walking around and was on the receiving end of fraud and crime. Even walking 400 metres I was followed by gangs of homeless people clearly high. They were bussing people in from rural areas and dumping them in the city centres. As Brian Cox so memorably put it in Succession, 'I don't like being away from the US for too long. There's a mercilessness I miss.'
Beautiful in parts but regardless of gender I wouldn't go anywhere near the US again. When I made my circumnavigation last year I flew from Fiji to Vancouver to avoid touching down back in the USA.
Sad to see such a great country go downhill so much. But I guess that's why (uneducated) people elected Trump.
xx
The cities are imho horrendous and there's so much homelessness and crime. I never felt safe walking around and was on the receiving end of fraud and crime. Even walking 400 metres I was followed by gangs of homeless people clearly high. They were bussing people in from rural areas and dumping them in the city centres. As Brian Cox so memorably put it in Succession, 'I don't like being away from the US for too long. There's a mercilessness I miss.'
Beautiful in parts but regardless of gender I wouldn't go anywhere near the US again. When I made my circumnavigation last year I flew from Fiji to Vancouver to avoid touching down back in the USA.
Sad to see such a great country go downhill so much. But I guess that's why (uneducated) people elected Trump.
xx
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Tills on August 03, 2025, 12:29:05 AM
Post by: Tills on August 03, 2025, 12:29:05 AM
A question.
If you're travelling to the US on an overseas passport marked F and you are wearing makeup and let's throw in that you are post-op and have a gender recognition certificate with F on your birth certificate ...
... how do they decide that you are not who you say?
I was chatting to my hairdresser the other day whose cousin is 6' 3" and who body builds. She has been challenged and misgendered even though in TERFdom she was born "biologically" female*
*This "biological sex" reductionism as currently deployed for haters is something we must challenge
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,251026.0.html
If you're travelling to the US on an overseas passport marked F and you are wearing makeup and let's throw in that you are post-op and have a gender recognition certificate with F on your birth certificate ...
... how do they decide that you are not who you say?
I was chatting to my hairdresser the other day whose cousin is 6' 3" and who body builds. She has been challenged and misgendered even though in TERFdom she was born "biologically" female*
*This "biological sex" reductionism as currently deployed for haters is something we must challenge
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,251026.0.html
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: KathyLauren on August 03, 2025, 07:08:48 AM
Post by: KathyLauren on August 03, 2025, 07:08:48 AM
Quote from: Tills on August 03, 2025, 12:29:05 AMIf you're travelling to the US on an overseas passport marked F and you are wearing makeup and let's throw in that you are post-op and have a gender recognition certificate with F on your birth certificate ...
... how do they decide that you are not who you say?
If you are 100% passable, you might get away with it. Maybe. If there is any doubt in their minds, I don't think there would be a presumption of innocence.
I would be in the situation you describe if I were stupid enough to try to cross the border. If they look at you and wonder if you might be trans, there will likely be no presumption of innocence. Your birth certificate will be evidence against you, since its date of issue will not correspond to your age. A gender recognition certificate would be the kiss of death. You would be accused of travelling with false documents (On a passport, an "F" gender marker for an AMAB person or vice versa is considered fraud). If you are on US soil, you would be arrested and detained. Possibly in El Salvador or Aligator Auschwitz, and certainly in the population of your birth sex.
Canadians have a slight advantage in that, when travelling by air, we clear US Customs and Immigration on Canadian soil, at the departure airport. So if they find you inadmissible, all they can do is not let you on the plane. That doesn't apply when crossing the border by car.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Dances With Trees on August 03, 2025, 04:56:04 PM
Post by: Dances With Trees on August 03, 2025, 04:56:04 PM
Quote from: Tills on August 02, 2025, 11:57:12 PMgo and live in Sydney.Sorry, Tills, you caught me a bit off guard with the Ireland travel advisory thing. Truth be told, I have no idea what I was talking about. But I have no argument concerning your perception of travel to the U.S.A. The Orange Man is a symptom, not a cause.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on August 03, 2025, 05:30:42 PM
Post by: ChrissyRyan on August 03, 2025, 05:30:42 PM
I think it can be somewhat bad for some of us in some parts of the country.
If you can usually pass / get by that helps a lot. We need to try to stay safe as possible and be aware of our surroundings.
In terms of local attitudes, that too can vary. I guess I have been overall very fortunate so far. It has been better the longer I have transitioned. I can speak only for me though.
Chrissy
If you can usually pass / get by that helps a lot. We need to try to stay safe as possible and be aware of our surroundings.
In terms of local attitudes, that too can vary. I guess I have been overall very fortunate so far. It has been better the longer I have transitioned. I can speak only for me though.
Chrissy
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Tills on August 03, 2025, 11:47:24 PM
Post by: Tills on August 03, 2025, 11:47:24 PM
Quote from: KathyLauren on August 03, 2025, 07:08:48 AMIf you are 100% passable, you might get away with it. Maybe. If there is any doubt in their minds, I don't think there would be a presumption of innocence.
I would be in the situation you describe if I were stupid enough to try to cross the border. If they look at you and wonder if you might be trans, there will likely be no presumption of innocence. Your birth certificate will be evidence against you, since its date of issue will not correspond to your age. A gender recognition certificate would be the kiss of death. You would be accused of travelling with false documents (On a passport, an "F" gender marker for an AMAB person or vice versa is considered fraud). If you are on US soil, you would be arrested and detained. Possibly in El Salvador or Aligator Auschwitz, and certainly in the population of your birth sex.
Canadians have a slight advantage in that, when travelling by air, we clear US Customs and Immigration on Canadian soil, at the departure airport. So if they find you inadmissible, all they can do is not let you on the plane. That doesn't apply when crossing the border by car.
I must confess that I switched off the so-called "News" 18 months ago for the first time in my life, although I did once live in a rainforest for 6 years without contact with the outside world. I realised "News" wasn't helping my wellbeing and as I felt powerless to do anything about world events decided to create my own wellbeing bubble. It's a bit of an ostrich mentality but hey-ho.
I am deeply shocked by what you and others have described here. Oh my goodness. What a horrendous state of affairs.
As a point of principle I would not wish to mask who I am just to appease evil. I will not travel again to the US for as long as this lasts but I am also extremely concerned and sorry for all who have no choice.
I send to all of you in the US love and hope you can stay as true but also as safe as possible.
xx
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Faith on August 04, 2025, 07:31:30 AM
Post by: Faith on August 04, 2025, 07:31:30 AM
@Roberta_Italy
I didn't follow this topic from the start
As some know, I recently went to Canada and back - no issues. it likely helped that, as a US citizen (and also white) no one dug any deeper than facial recognition. All my markers are changed, from birth cert and up. I did not get a passport until after all my markers (and name) were changed. That gave no past passport history for them to pull up.
If I was not a US citizen (and also white) I would not come here. I don't feel the odds are in any non-citizen's favor regardless of gender status.
I am glad that you didn't encounter any serious issues.
I didn't follow this topic from the start
As some know, I recently went to Canada and back - no issues. it likely helped that, as a US citizen (and also white) no one dug any deeper than facial recognition. All my markers are changed, from birth cert and up. I did not get a passport until after all my markers (and name) were changed. That gave no past passport history for them to pull up.
If I was not a US citizen (and also white) I would not come here. I don't feel the odds are in any non-citizen's favor regardless of gender status.
I am glad that you didn't encounter any serious issues.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Maid Marion on August 04, 2025, 09:54:34 AM
Post by: Maid Marion on August 04, 2025, 09:54:34 AM
Effective June 15,1994, the code requires new or newly renovated food establishments to provide public toilet facilities. The facilities must be separated by sex unless the total occupant load is 15 or less. Take out facilities with an occupant load less than 150 do not have to have public toilet facilities (BOCA National Building Code, Sec. 1202.5).
Small restaurants in Connecticut may have unisex toilets.
Another law prohibits gender discrimination for public toilet facilities in Connecticut.
Small restaurants in Connecticut may have unisex toilets.
Another law prohibits gender discrimination for public toilet facilities in Connecticut.
Title: Re: Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?
Post by: Tills on August 07, 2025, 08:15:33 AM
Post by: Tills on August 07, 2025, 08:15:33 AM
Quote from: Lexxi on April 17, 2025, 11:42:07 PM... in Texas ... it's against the law for a trans person to go into the bathroom of their gender identity.
... So please be very careful.
That's now the law in the UK.
This law is an ass.
I ignore it and always will.
xx
p.s. But then, I wouldn't be incarcerated in a male penitentiary.
For those able to do so, we may need to begin to fight for our rights. Other women have done so before us, like Suffragettes.