Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Editing: I realize that I am ranting but I got quite emotional when writing and thinking about this, so please bear with me...

In this site it is definitely preaching to the choir, but 50 years of denial and suppression does come with a considerable cost and the weight of denial has now been lifted. Without detailing things I can say that it came down to a very clear and very brutal realization about where things were heading for me, and the direction was really (really!) bad. This made me find the courage to finally dig deep inside of me and be brutally honest with myself and admit what I have always known/suspected/feared: That I am not wired like the average person, that I am trans. What an immense relief it was to really accept that for myself and what a feeling to discover that all those weird thoughts, sick behaviours and self-harm disappeared just like magic.

Now, my coming out is still a bit new, just a few months ago and so far only to my wife but her reaction was about as good as you can possibly hope for. I am not totally convinced that she has really understood/accepted that I am a woman but she definitely knows that I am at least partly woman and she is very supportive, even welcoming and encouraging, since she gets the benefits of me being a lot softer, a lot more emotional, so much more in tune with her wants and needs, physically closer, and the list goes on...

As she said: So, you are a girl that likes girls...but you are so much more like you were when we met, the soft and sensitive you that I fell for has come alive and I am in love again.

She loves that really soft me that I have always been deep down, but that had been buried under a ton of "life happened" and accompanying denial/suppression, but is now coming to life again.
Of course, now is now and later is later and I am not (yet) on the transition wagon so I don't make myself any illusions. There's lots of things yet to come, but I/we will cross those bridges when we get to them. So far, I am immensely grateful for her reception and for how super-good I feel.

💕

Anna, this is amazing and wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing. I especially love this part:

Quote from: Finally Anna on Yesterday at 02:03:04 PMAs she said: So, you are a girl that likes girls...but you are so much more like you were when we met, the soft and sensitive you that I fell for has come alive and I am in love again.

She loves that really soft me that I have always been deep down, but that had been buried under a ton of "life happened" and accompanying denial/suppression, but is now coming to life again.

That is so similar to what my wife and I have experienced (beginning last year).

I wish you both immense joy in this new life together.

WOW that is amazing. I have hidden who I am for 50 years too and hope to some day find acceptance in the real work like you are experiencing. Your wife is amazing to be so open to accepting this new reality for her, I think that is rare in this world.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Quote from: Finally Anna on Yesterday at 02:03:04 PMyou are so much more like you were when we met, the soft and sensitive you that I fell for has come alive and I am in love again.

This is the key. She did not fall in love with a man, nor a body. She saw YOU, and that touched her heart. That is such wonderful news.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Hugs to both of you.

Oh Wow Anna!

That is one of the best reactions from a significant other I've read yet. It is really beautiful. Your wife must be an amazing person.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on Yesterday at 05:09:31 PMOh Wow Anna!
That is one of the best reactions from a significant other I've read yet. It is really beautiful. Your wife must be an amazing person.

Thank you! 💕
Of course she is ☺️ but even so I couldn't even have dreamed about her welcoming reaction.

In hindsight I think it mattered a lot that I became so obviously softer/better immediately on coming out to myself. So she got to experience the "new and better" me before having to face that I am a transbian. I think that was key, she wanted the "new and better" me, loved that part of me, and that it turned out to come with a label was then a bit secondary.

Congratulations Anna,

Like you I have more than 50 years of denial, or perhaps 50 years of not really knowing myself.

I sometimes wonder how my wife stayed with me through my mood swings and at times irrationality.

Quote from: Finally Anna on Yesterday at 02:03:04 PMAs she said: So, you are a girl that likes girls...but you are so much more like you were when we met, the soft and sensitive you that I fell for has come alive and I am in love again.

The above is probably the most beautiful reaction anybody could hope for.

You're back and your relationship can reset.