Susan's Place Transgender Resources

"I think I'm a girl so I must be homosexual."

From what I understand this seems to be the line of though of gender ignorant therapists. Boggles my mind, totally.
Why would I want therapy for being homosexual anyway? I don't see heterosexual people getting such counseling, why would I want that if I were 'gay' ?
Of course, I claim to be an asexual bisexual so I'm probably more open-minded than most I suppose. But honestly, sexual orientation just does not seem like something to talk to a therapist about.

I suppose people do and that is why it comes up, but ... AHHHHH :eusa_wall: :icon_weirdface: !

i think right now im a hetrosexual nonfuctioning male, but when i have been on hormones i think i will be gay as even now im starting to notice men differently, so after i get srs i will be hetrosexual again , or at least bisexual , lol ... Ellen

  " I Think I'm a girl so I must be homosexual"  This statment I think comes from the childhood play ground and I belive we all can remember the rest of the comments yelled out . Unfortunatly I belive that the majority of humanity never learns any more about gender or sexual orientation then school yard thinking/nonthinking.  :-\

  Anywho I only know about myself and after years of not letting myself exporer the feeling I have had from childhood untill  I started this journey. Then it was like being cought in a flash flood. I remembered after being with each of my three wives and pleaseing them I had this  though blast into my mind "The things I had done for their enjoyment was what I wanted done to me". As much as I loved them sex was good at first but soon ended becuase I felt like I was with the same sex and I belived they did too, but nether of us could put it into words. There are a lot more examples, but you I am sure get the picture. :o

  Where dose that take me? Well I have always cought myself looking at men in a way a man shouldn't. But then I never have been a male so where dose that put me. I have been and allways will be a heterosexual woman. It just took me a long time to accept who I am.    oh well the dumb suffer alot :-[

Huggss Mishell

;)
This was not meant so much as a sexual orientation thread as we have one here (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82.0.html) already ;)

Rather more of a way to raise awareness of when it is time to find a new therapist, and or general conversation about therapists in general.

I figure that the gender ignorant, well meaning, therapists peg us into the homosexual slot is because they have no other basis to relate to. This I suppose is obvious.

*shrug*
Being second-guessed by someone (who does not understand) annoys me greatly, especially when they wield a great deal of influence.


Sand in the wind, don't mind me.

I've seen a few therapists, and that question usually pops up, which I've never understood the relavence of it. But like 4 years had said, if I were homosexual (which I am), why would I want therpy for that when the issue is being transgender./

Gina

Sorry I misunderstood your post I did not see the other therad

Really, biology has nothing to do with the topic, just as sexuality is not relevant.

It is easy enough to view the "want to be a girl" as a homosexuality phobia. (It's socially acceptable for woman to like men, so the patient wants to be a woman). If you have no other basis to go on the answer seems apparent, when in fact sexuality has nothing to do with the want.

The problem is that not all therapists are created equal. It is prudent to remember this.

My apologies for an unclear topic.

I have to agree.
My therapists has never brought up the subject of my sexual orientation, and I don't think that they should.  It is really of no consequence if I'm gay or lesbian.  I haven't asked either of them if they are gay or lesbian.  I think that studies have shown that you don't become gay you are born with it.  So I think it would be hard to explain my "becoming" gay because I'm trans.  My wife and I have spoken about this many times and she always tells me that she's not a lesbian, and that if I still like women then I must be lesbian.  Definitley something to think about.  I've never been attracted to men so I know I'm not gay.  So was I born a lesbian and didn't know it? I wouldn't have known it as I didn't know I was "trans" back then?

It's almost like the chiken and the egg thing.  I really don't think that sexual orientation has any bearing on who you are.  It's a lifestyle.

sadly, this is not some new weird belief, but a hangover of the old medical orthodoxy.

in fact, it was the case in the '60s where if you insisted, then you were deemed insane, and since homosexuality was illegal, that made you an insane criminal, and subject to legal torture, like electroshock, aversion therapy, high testosterone dosages, brain surgery and anything else that they wanted to try.

in 1966 i had a choice: be a "man" and forget all this, or be an insane criminal .... hmmmm, difficult choice - NOT.

so thank your lucky stars it's just some ignorant doctors now, and you can actually find some that know the facts.

Quote from: Stephanie Craxford on June 28, 2005, 10:16:13 AM
. I really don't think that sexual orientation has any bearing on who you are. It's a lifestyle.

You just used a word that kind of winds me up.  Lifestyle  My life is not a style, not now, never was.  To me style is something that is chosen, just like so many think being transexual is a life style.  They are half right, its a life.

I just cannot get my head around how being lesbian would be considered a lifestyle.

Leigh

Oooops, sorry Leigh, I didn't mean to offend anyone.  As many do, I used the word without thinking.

I wouldn't say I was offended so much as a feeling that lifestyle is not a good choice of words at least in my limited view.

In the womens group that I frequesnt on a weekly basis some of the participants are called stylers.  They come in to this part of the community only to take part in certain functions and then go back to their every day lives until the next party.  To them this is a momentary thing , not something that is a part of our loves every minute of every day.  Thats why they are called stylers while we are lifers.

Leigh

Nicely put  :)

Quote from: 4years on June 24, 2005, 10:06:14 PM
"I think I'm a girl so I must be homosexual."

This is the clasical "heterosexual matrix."  Physical body determines gender identity determines sexual orientation.  Time for that therapist to join the 21st century.

                 i certainly agree that transsexuality has nothing to do with orientation. i do see why some homosexuals would see a therapist. not because there is anything wrong with them but because lots of them are tortured by society much like we are and many have been raised in religious families and carry guilt from an early age that needs to be understood and eliminated.







beth             

My bathroom is giving way but thats another story. What does gay have to do with any of it.
I am bisexual but I dont go out and flaunt myself in public and chase every man down the street, as a matter of fact I cannot stand most men but every now and then I will say hey this guy is cute but that really has no bearing on my gender as a female or a male. I am dreading this therapy thing so bad, I bet that "gay" word is brought up cause it was with one of my doctors and he labeled me and didnt treat me correctly and was so rude, luckily I have found another doctor but the whole therapy thing will be a nightmare if the "gay" thing is brought up I think I would become even worse with my emotions if this were the case.

Sara.

That is exactly my point actually, our sexual preference is not relevant to gender dysphoria. Different beasts. If you find a therapist who knows what GID is, you won't have a problem. So, don't dread therapy, just make sure you have a therapist who knows what GID is, and has dealt with Transsexuals before. It's not so bad (=

That's the thing that got to me all these years.  I'd get enthusiastic about something -  and feminine mannerisms, body language and voice prosody would slip out. Then some group of alpha-males would start accusing me of being a flamin' faggot.  (I have recently shot video tapes where I'm babbling up a storm while videotaping an exciting event.  When I play the tape back I seriously sound like a low-voiced giddy girl.  I am not making this up.)

But I'm not, dammit.  I've seriously asked myself the question, "Am I really homosexual?" many times over the years.  The answer always comes back "...no..."  I can't fantasize having sex with a guy as a guy.  It doesn't work.  And god knows I've given it a chance, just to make sure ("I GOTS'ta know...")

But if I fantasize I'm female with a female body, it works like a charm.  Does that make me homosexual?  I myself think not.  And I don't give a rat's tuschie what the School of Constipated Thinking alumni think.

My two yen ;-)

Haz

Wow Hazumu, you really are on my wave length. I could never be gay, I get squirmish just thinking about a guy being with another guy (not that there is anything wrong with that if you are gay) but when I look at some guys I am looking at them through female eyes. Being married does pose one question that has already been brought up in another thread, are we gay (i'll use gay cause I hate the word lesbian) as a female to love another female, Im taking about a person that has had the op wanting to stay with her wife and loves her, is that gay. I have heard that it is called hetro for a TG but I am not sure if this is correct?


Sara.

Quote from: Sara on January 22, 2006, 06:17:37 PM
(i'll use gay cause I hate the word lesbian)

Be warned that you will never hear a woman refer to herself as gay--thats saved to the men.

A homosexual person; a gay man or a lesbian.
Usage Note: Many people now avoid using homosexual because of the emphasis this term places on sexuality. Indeed, the words gay and lesbian, which stress cultural and social matters over sex, are frequently better choices. Homosexual is most objectionable when used as a noun; here gay man and gay woman or lesbian and their plural forms are called for. It is generally unobjectionable when used adjectivally, as in a homosexual relationship, although gay, lesbian, or same-sex are also available for adjectival use.

Quote
as a female to love another female, Im taking about a person that has had the op wanting to stay with her wife and loves her, is that gay. I have heard that it is called hetro for a TG but I am not sure if this is correct?

You can call it whatever you want its your relationship.   If someone lives, works and presents as a female in a relationship with another female, society will see it as a lesbian one. 

Leigh, I dont like the use of any of any of those words to describe ones gender but society in general does. The word gay has many meanings and they do not have anything to do with gender. So who is the one that put the labels on gender, male or female. When I say gay I use it broadly (I myself am bisexual) a much kinder expression of the term liking two sexes but I dont even like using that word. SO WHAT ARE WE WITHOUT THE LABELS.

Sara.

Quote from: Sara on January 22, 2006, 06:59:48 PM...
SO WHAT ARE WE WITHOUT THE LABELS.
...

Basically the same as with them. (=

I'll add one thing.  If I found out I was gay, I'd be comfortable with the knowledge, the way I'm comfortable and accepting of myself as a TS girl (now I just gotta' get my therapist to agree with me ;-)

One thing I keep reading about transitioning transsexuals is that often they're surprised at the orientation they end up with, whether straight, lesbian or bi.  It's a separate factor from the desire to BE female.

And thank you Leigh for the correction of terminology.  It's just plain considerate to the people who have chosen to accept that label for themselves.

Haz

Hazumu, Exactly but what if just what if they said no you are definately gay. how do they know for gods sake. Who gives them the right to say to you, no you cannot go on hormones or you must stop because you are that way and then give you medication to control your brain into being wishy washy and confused even more. Some can be so wrong, then what happens?

Sara.

You find people who have a clue what GID is.

Presuming it was those people who don't think you suffer from GID then you and them need to talk because some connection isn't made.

So what happens after all that and you both know everything and they think you definitely do not suffer from GID?

One of you is right, but which? Presumably they have a lot of experience in the subject so perhaps they do know what they are talking about.

You go soul searching and perhaps a bit of experimenting if you like.

If that does nothing for you then you talk to your therapist more. A LOT more.

They (therapists) are not stupid nor are they malicious (the good ones anyway); Trust in them to a point but also trust yourself; Only you truly know, but you can so easily not understand what you know.

Quote from: Sara on January 22, 2006, 08:29:08 PM
Hazumu, Exactly but what if just what if they said no you are definately gay. how do they know for gods sake. Who gives them the right to say to you, no you cannot go on hormones or you must stop because you are that way and then give you medication to control your brain into being wishy washy and confused even more. Some can be so wrong, then what happens?

Okay, has your therapist told you you are gay?  I'm wondering if that is some sort of a test...

My mother, while she was alive, would from time to time tell me it was okay to be gay.  I'm glad we could comfortably have these conversations, but I always had to tell her, no, I've really considered it, I've looked deeply within myself, and even with your support and permission, I can't go there because I have no desire to go there.

Now, being around gays was an interesting experience for me.  I had no desire to be gay, I had no personal fear or revulsion of gays, but I had a fear of being seen associating with gays because of the predatory alpha males.  So in the locker rooms and amongst groups of alpha males I 'talked the talk', and felt badly afterwards for dissing fellow human beings.

Now, being anywhere near transsexuals -- that was a wholly different feeling.  Have you ever felt attracted and repelled at the same time?  My guess is my tyrannical superego was working overtime, trying to keep me away from the very thing some part of me desired -- needed -- very much.  It was a wonderfully designed Catch-22, too.  I could wish to be reincarnated as a girl, I could wish that I had been born female, but if I even thought about actually pursuing transition, the bad ole' superego would step in with 'You'll never be a FULLY functioning woman, you can't have it, so shut up and get over it!!"  But I remember watching with fascination an episode of the Phil Donahue show (back when it was the most controversial talks show on,) that had post-surgery Wendy Carlos as a guest.  But, as usual, I was told by me to 'get over it.'

There's a TG lady who just retired from her job here.  When I first saw her, I read her, because she wasn't trying to pass or anything (and I have to admire her comfort with and acceptance of herself.)  Superego stepped in and I spent over a year avoiding her.  But really, in retrospect, I was being made to avoid myself.  And realizing that was part of getting out of the full-nelson lock that my superego had me in.

Okay, what's this got to do with being told your gay by your therapist?  You've got to be honest with yourself -- really honest.  Do you have any feelings at all towards other men while you're still phisically male?  What's the character of the 'no' you hear inside yourself?  Is it a calm 'no' or a desperate, screaming "NOOO!!!"  That's a clue. 

If you're still sure you're not gay, try convincing your therapist.  Maybe it really is a test.  But if its not and your therapist insists you're really gay so no hormones for YOU, the problem may be with your therapist.  Thank him or her for their time, and go try another therapist.  Sure, it's a setback, and you've wasted all that time and money, but you'd just be sending bad money after good if you stayed.  Doctors and therapist alike sometimes develop god complexes, and feel they are infallable at spotting, labeling and pigeonholing people into different 'types'.  But diagnosing GID and TS are not exact sciences.

As to finding a new therapist, try to find one who recognizes that homosexuality and GID are not exclusive conditions -- that they can coexist, and who is willing to use a trial HRT as a diagnostic tool  -- basically at about four months as the effects of the estrogen and the testosterone blockers really take hold, it seperates the girls from the boys.

In my case, my superego did such a wonderful job of blocking me from my feelings that my therapist told me I hadn't crossdressed enough to be GID.  That's one of the things he said that session that sent me into a tailspin and prompted me to pour my spinning thoughts into a four page fax that he said caused him to re-evaluate me as being more likely to be GID.

Just remember GID is the diagnosis, but there's as many flavors of GID as there are people who 'suffer' from it (funny, I suffered more from running away from it, and thing have already got a whole lot better by accepting this part of myself.  go figure...)  Stay true to yourself.  Keep on pushing through.  And don't ever lose your spirit.

(Dang, Kimberly, I see you beat me to the post.  Your advice is good too.  I'm counseling that there may be a time to cut your losses.)

Sara, it's ultimately up to you.  But this message board is here, we're here to consult with.  Take a few steps, whatever you deem appropriate, then ask questions.  You'll make it, eventually.

Haz

Therapists are so darn stubborn... ::)

I simply just don't talk to them about it, in fact my last therapist check (like earlier this month) they signed me off as normal and happy... :o hehe, so fake... I'm not happy at all... I guess I did a good show of hiding it.

I'm not taking hormones or anything, and I'm starting to feel things for guys, but I feel things for girls too.

I'm soooo confused on which to like... so why not like both? LOL.

EDIT: I'm not saying it's my choice.

I'm not one to be influenced by society, but I was once... and that's how I started to like girls, thinking it was normal... but lately, finding out who I really am, all of those feelings kept short from growing now are...

and guys, appeal more to me. ;D

Gees Louise! that was inspiring.

Here is what I do know (in a calm low voice) No I am not gay, I am bisexual but only slightly. By that I mean it really has to be the right guy for me before I will have anything to do with them. (if that makes sense)
Yes I am definately a girl.
Yes I have been wearing blouses skirts dresses and nice underwear for many years.
Yes I wear makeup
Yes I have been on hormones for 5 years
Yes I am going to have surgery
Yes I have told my wife this
Yes she accepts that I will no longer be male
Yes I accept this

And I have had time off hormones due to ill health and have discovered that I am a mess without them, so I truly know that this is the right path for me.

It's not really about the gay part of it that bothers me, its just that some people can judge you a certain way before they even know you. I think that a session here and there with a shrink is good if you have issues of that nature but they certainly should not imply that you are one way or another without getting to know you first and that can take years... Do I have the money to go through therapy that long NOT A CHANCE!

The only reason why I am seeing a therapist is because of my problems with stress and depression caused by being off the hormones and of course to get the official papers needed to have the op. I have already prooved to my Endo that being off the meds is not good for my health and he agrees.

Sara.

Quote from: Hazumu on January 22, 2006, 11:03:24 PM...
Now, being around gays was an interesting experience for me.  I had no desire to be gay, I had no personal fear or revulsion of gays, but I had a fear of being seen associating with gays because of the predatory alpha males.  So in the locker rooms and amongst groups of alpha males I 'talked the talk', and felt badly afterwards for dissing fellow human beings.
...

Ouch.
Been there, done that for exactly the same reasons.
Have I mentioned I hate society lately? ^*shrug*

Quote from: Victoria on January 22, 2006, 11:29:00 PM
Therapists are so darn stubborn... ::)

I simply just don't talk to them about it, in fact my last therapist check (like earlier this month) they signed me off as normal and happy... :o hehe, so fake... I'm not happy at all... I guess I did a good show of hiding it.

I'm not taking hormones or anything, and I'm starting to feel things for guys, but I feel things for girls too.

I'm soooo confused on which to like... so why not like both? LOL.

EDIT: I'm not saying it's my choice.

I'm not one to be influenced by society, but I was once... and that's how I started to like girls, thinking it was normal... but lately, finding out who I really am, all of those feelings kept short from growing now are...

and guys, appeal more to me. ;D

Victoria, it is my opinion that you should find a qualified therapist and then talk to them ^*duck* No really, and trust me on this, it doesn't get any better. Hiding, in my honest opinion, is NOT A GOOD FREEKING IDEA! ^*giggle*
Actually I need to rephrase that, it is a good idea when you are surrounded by people without a clue and/or bad intentions. I feel strongly about hiding because I did, as the saying goes if I only knew then what I knew now...

As for sexual preference... bah, very definitely not society's business.

Just a few thoughts from a big sister (=

Tori is such a sweet name by the way.

Quote from: Sara on January 23, 2006, 12:03:09 AM...
I am bisexual but only slightly. By that I mean it really has to be the right guy for me before I will have anything to do with them. (if that makes sense)
...

To me, it makes perfect sense as my thoughts run similar.
FWIW (=

for many years I was concerned that I may have been homosexual.  I often wished I was a woman and had fantasies as a woman - taking a womans role with woman and men.  homosexual, lesbian who knows - I certainly did not.

Such were my worries that I stayed far away from transexuals and gay people.  When it was suggested that I may have been homophobic I response was I am not scared of them - I bloody well did not like them.  In truth I was scared, not of them, but of what contact with them may have revealed about me :(

I eventually saw a therapist, was such a worthwhile & uplifting experience.  She was not experienced/qualified in transgender issues, - she was prepared to refer me to those who were.  But, it did not matter - what she did show me was how to think about myself, question myself, view myself - that which was important.

Hazumu, I reckon fantasies are unimportant - its a way our mind explores.  The real test would be, Do those fantasies carry over in real life?  Do you see a man and think "He looks sexy, cute, etc. I wonder what it would be like if...... (that is you initiate the feeling, if a man comes on to you, other factors may play eg, confusion, curiousity  etc)
If you don't have those feelings when you see a man then I would say you are not.
homosexual. 

However, if you feel that you have reached a point where you no longer think of yourself as anything other than a woman :(  then I truely don't know.  My brain starts to ache :(

Starts spouting on only to realise
she knows bugger all :(

rana

What difference does it make if you are homosexual or not when you know you are a girl?

I think some guys are cute, some are definately not and most are hard to be around sometimes but then again I find myself saying I like females but I have found out this is purely because of the love and effection I lost as a child. So maybe I am gay, who knows but from where I sit, feeling like the way I do is sorta natural cause a female can choose who she wants to be with just the same as a man can.

Sara.

I remember when I came out to my therapist, one of the first questions she asked was, "do you consider yourself gay?"  And I said no.  Then she asked me, "so if you're straight, and a woman inside, that means you're attracted to guys?"  And I stopped to think about it.  She wasn't saying it to trick me, or because she felt that way, it was a question designed to get me thinking.

And it did.

From that point on, I stopped using the terms "straight" and "gay."  Whenever the question of my sexuality comes up, I use the absolute definition.  "I'm attracted to women."  There is no doubts left after that, except which label to throw on it.  And I could care less about labels.

So I'd suggest not thinking in relative terms, and define your sexuality (if it's ever needed to be defined) as an absolute.  You're either attracted to women, attracted to men, or attracted to both sexes.

Stephanie, you have made so much sense in what you have said. I never thought of it that way and to think I was scared to death on how to combat that question with the therapist if were ever to arise.

Sara.

I answered with "asexual bisexual" and clearly stated that I had no problems if I liked guys only, girls only or both. With both being what I currently thought (think still for that matter.)
Regardless, given that I'm still a virgin the entire topic went by rather fast ^*snicker*.

Quote from: stephanieremember when I came out to my therapist, one of the first questions she asked was, "do you consider yourself gay?"  And I said no.  Then she asked me, "so if you're straight, and a woman inside, that means you're attracted to guys?"  And I stopped to think about it.  She wasn't saying it to trick me, or because she felt that way, it was a question designed to get me thinking.

And this was the same question that went through my mine when I posted the topic "Ramblings - I'm Hetro - Right?"  here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,1950.0.html

Steph

Stephanie, I think its time these Doctors came up with a new word for those who have thought about it but cant decide if they are or if they are not. Im still very much confused as to who I am and where I fit in and the comment that I am in a grey area by my doctor didnt help any. Every day I battle with my emotions over this topic and yours and I shouldnt cause it takes up what little space I have left to worry about evrything else. Here is the question are we more tuned in to our emotions than others and is that why we get so confused not only about issues of sexuality but everything else as well?

Sara.

I think that at least some of the confusion comes from having to repress our feelings to be "socially acceptable".

re: "One of you is right, but which? Presumably they have a lot of experience in the subject so perhaps they do know what they are talking about."
what? they have a lot of 'experience' (they have no experience BEING this person) so they KNOW what they are talking about. This is deferring authority. Seems to be a person that is behaving as a girl, pretty darned convinced is a girl, the fact that this is not matching the gonads, indicates to this NON expert, that that girl is Dysphoric per her Gender Indentiy. Defer all the authority to an artificial source because of professional status, claimed authority, experience, dogmatically, don't question authority? I'm not buying it.

No, I say that because it is stupidly easy to be totally clueless. Yes, we SHOULD (keyword there) know who we are better than anyone else on this planet, however if people who are familiar with the topic see things differently than you then perhaps there is a good reason for it which should be examined.

Note how I said what I said... "Presumably they have a lot of experience in the subject so perhaps they do know what they are talking about." No definite statement is made, just because (for instance) they say I'm delusional does not make it so. As far as that goes, I've never condoned not questioning authority.

Quote from: Kimberly on February 15, 2006, 07:34:39 PM
Yes, we SHOULD (keyword there) know who we are better than anyone else on this planet, [...]

I managed to delude myself for years that I was a guy, I could never be a girl, and that was that - get over it...

My personal epiphany was realizing that I'd been living my life as a female trying to play the role of the male her body told her she was, and continually running up against the strains of trying to behave as I should, rather than as I am.  Realizing that and accepting myself as myself was probably the hardest part of my transition -- after all, it took me almost 50 years to do it!  I'll add that the benefits of accepting myself were almost immediate.  I'm much more at ease around people and more spontaneous, and I haven't even started HRT yet (maybe the package will arrive by next week...)

As to the straight-or-gay question?  I say with the transsexual it's as moot as the boxers-or-briefs question (at least for M-to-F'ers  >:D )

Haz

As a teenager the only source of information at hand for me was encyclopedias and dictionaries ( no Internet in 1983 hehe)).  I remember looking up "tranvestite"and finding it defined primarily as something done as an outlet for homosexuality.  Most reference books seemed to make the assumption that any male who dressed or behaved as a woman was by default, homosexual.  Consequently, in society most people would look at transgendered ladies as simply being gay, not considering that the matter was far more complex.

Now that male homosexuality is becoming (somewhat) less taboo, people are going to notice that most gay men (who are not otherwise transgendered) do not typically crossdress or identify as women, so hopefully society will gradually figure out that the two are not mutually inclusive.

Personally, I do not think anyone is 100% anything, be it "gay" or "straight". 

Jonna

Quote from: Jonna on May 10, 2006, 11:42:27 PM


Personally, I do not think anyone is 100% anything, be it "gay" or "straight". 

Personally I know of one person who 100%.

Leigh

Quote from: Kimberly on June 24, 2005, 10:06:14 PM
Of course, I claim to be an asexual bisexual so I'm probably more open-minded than most I suppose.

I reread this because it's been a while.  This perfectly describes me at the moment.  I prefer to use the term "confused" for my sexual orientation however.

Melissa

no dear a homosexual does not like to wear female clothing, they like being male and are attracted to other males.and they also like the body that they have, being a girl is what you feel inside of you,and has little to do with sex. luv terribeth

Quote from: terribeth on April 12, 2007, 05:19:35 AM
no dear a homosexual does not like to wear female clothing...

Drag queens?

Although I have no idea what the motivation there is if someone identifies as a man, is attracted to men and masculine things, and likes using male parts.

Kate