I think I'm a girl so I must be homosexual.

[4years]

"I think I'm a girl so I must be homosexual."

From what I understand this seems to be the line of though of gender ignorant therapists. Boggles my mind, totally.
Why would I want therapy for being homosexual anyway? I don't see heterosexual people getting such counseling, why would I want that if I were 'gay' ?
Of course, I claim to be an asexual bisexual so I'm probably more open-minded than most I suppose. But honestly, sexual orientation just does not seem like something to talk to a therapist about.

I suppose people do and that is why it comes up, but ... AHHHHH !

[Ellen]

i think right now im a hetrosexual nonfuctioning male, but when i have been on hormones i think i will be gay as even now im starting to notice men differently, so after i get srs i will be hetrosexual again , or at least bisexual , lol ... Ellen

[mishell]

  " I Think I'm a girl so I must be homosexual"  This statment I think comes from the childhood play ground and I belive we all can remember the rest of the comments yelled out . Unfortunatly I belive that the majority of humanity never learns any more about gender or sexual orientation then school yard thinking/nonthinking. 

  Anywho I only know about myself and after years of not letting myself exporer the feeling I have had from childhood untill  I started this journey. Then it was like being cought in a flash flood. I remembered after being with each of my three wives and pleaseing them I had this  though blast into my mind "The things I had done for their enjoyment was what I wanted done to me". As much as I loved them sex was good at first but soon ended becuase I felt like I was with the same sex and I belived they did too, but nether of us could put it into words. There are a lot more examples, but you I am sure get the picture.

  Where dose that take me? Well I have always cought myself looking at men in a way a man shouldn't. But then I never have been a male so where dose that put me. I have been and allways will be a heterosexual woman. It just took me a long time to accept who I am.    oh well the dumb suffer alot :-[

Huggss Mishell

[4years]

This was not meant so much as a sexual orientation thread as we have one here already

Rather more of a way to raise awareness of when it is time to find a new therapist, and or general conversation about therapists in general.

I figure that the gender ignorant, well meaning, therapists peg us into the homosexual slot is because they have no other basis to relate to. This I suppose is obvious.

*shrug*
Being second-guessed by someone (who does not understand) annoys me greatly, especially when they wield a great deal of influence.


Sand in the wind, don't mind me.

[gina_taylor]

I've seen a few therapists, and that question usually pops up, which I've never understood the relavence of it. But like 4 years had said, if I were homosexual (which I am), why would I want therpy for that when the issue is being transgender./

Gina

[mishell]

Sorry I misunderstood your post I did not see the other therad

[4years]

Really, biology has nothing to do with the topic, just as sexuality is not relevant.

It is easy enough to view the "want to be a girl" as a homosexuality phobia. (It's socially acceptable for woman to like men, so the patient wants to be a woman). If you have no other basis to go on the answer seems apparent, when in fact sexuality has nothing to do with the want.

The problem is that not all therapists are created equal. It is prudent to remember this.

My apologies for an unclear topic.

[stephanie_craxford]

I have to agree.
My therapists has never brought up the subject of my sexual orientation, and I don't think that they should.  It is really of no consequence if I'm gay or lesbian.  I haven't asked either of them if they are gay or lesbian.  I think that studies have shown that you don't become gay you are born with it.  So I think it would be hard to explain my "becoming" gay because I'm trans.  My wife and I have spoken about this many times and she always tells me that she's not a lesbian, and that if I still like women then I must be lesbian.  Definitley something to think about.  I've never been attracted to men so I know I'm not gay.  So was I born a lesbian and didn't know it? I wouldn't have known it as I didn't know I was "trans" back then?

It's almost like the chiken and the egg thing.  I really don't think that sexual orientation has any bearing on who you are.  It's a lifestyle.

[kitten]

sadly, this is not some new weird belief, but a hangover of the old medical orthodoxy.

in fact, it was the case in the '60s where if you insisted, then you were deemed insane, and since homosexuality was illegal, that made you an insane criminal, and subject to legal torture, like electroshock, aversion therapy, high testosterone dosages, brain surgery and anything else that they wanted to try.

in 1966 i had a choice: be a "man" and forget all this, or be an insane criminal .... hmmmm, difficult choice - NOT.

so thank your lucky stars it's just some ignorant doctors now, and you can actually find some that know the facts.

[Leigh]

. I really don't think that sexual orientation has any bearing on who you are. It's a lifestyle.

You just used a word that kind of winds me up.  Lifestyle  My life is not a style, not now, never was.  To me style is something that is chosen, just like so many think being transexual is a life style.  They are half right, its a life.

I just cannot get my head around how being lesbian would be considered a lifestyle.

Leigh

[stephanie_craxford]

Oooops, sorry Leigh, I didn't mean to offend anyone.  As many do, I used the word without thinking.

[Leigh]

I wouldn't say I was offended so much as a feeling that lifestyle is not a good choice of words at least in my limited view.

In the womens group that I frequesnt on a weekly basis some of the participants are called stylers.  They come in to this part of the community only to take part in certain functions and then go back to their every day lives until the next party.  To them this is a momentary thing , not something that is a part of our loves every minute of every day.  Thats why they are called stylers while we are lifers.

Leigh

[stephanie_craxford]

Nicely put 

[Lisbeth]

"I think I'm a girl so I must be homosexual."

This is the clasical "heterosexual matrix."  Physical body determines gender identity determines sexual orientation.  Time for that therapist to join the 21st century.

[beth]

                 i certainly agree that transsexuality has nothing to do with orientation. i do see why some homosexuals would see a therapist. not because there is anything wrong with them but because lots of them are tortured by society much like we are and many have been raised in religious families and carry guilt from an early age that needs to be understood and eliminated.







beth             

[Sara]

My bathroom is giving way but thats another story. What does gay have to do with any of it.
I am bisexual but I dont go out and flaunt myself in public and chase every man down the street, as a matter of fact I cannot stand most men but every now and then I will say hey this guy is cute but that really has no bearing on my gender as a female or a male. I am dreading this therapy thing so bad, I bet that "gay" word is brought up cause it was with one of my doctors and he labeled me and didnt treat me correctly and was so rude, luckily I have found another doctor but the whole therapy thing will be a nightmare if the "gay" thing is brought up I think I would become even worse with my emotions if this were the case.

Sara.

[Kimberly]

That is exactly my point actually, our sexual preference is not relevant to gender dysphoria. Different beasts. If you find a therapist who knows what GID is, you won't have a problem. So, don't dread therapy, just make sure you have a therapist who knows what GID is, and has dealt with Transsexuals before. It's not so bad

[Hazumu]

That's the thing that got to me all these years.  I'd get enthusiastic about something -  and feminine mannerisms, body language and voice prosody would slip out. Then some group of alpha-males would start accusing me of being a flamin' faggot.  (I have recently shot video tapes where I'm babbling up a storm while videotaping an exciting event.  When I play the tape back I seriously sound like a low-voiced giddy girl.  I am not making this up.)

But I'm not, dammit.  I've seriously asked myself the question, "Am I really homosexual?" many times over the years.  The answer always comes back "...no..."  I can't fantasize having sex with a guy as a guy.  It doesn't work.  And god knows I've given it a chance, just to make sure ("I GOTS'ta know...")

But if I fantasize I'm female with a female body, it works like a charm.  Does that make me homosexual?  I myself think not.  And I don't give a rat's tuschie what the School of Constipated Thinking alumni think.

My two yen ;-)

Haz

[Sara]

Wow Hazumu, you really are on my wave length. I could never be gay, I get squirmish just thinking about a guy being with another guy (not that there is anything wrong with that if you are gay) but when I look at some guys I am looking at them through female eyes. Being married does pose one question that has already been brought up in another thread, are we gay (i'll use gay cause I hate the word lesbian) as a female to love another female, Im taking about a person that has had the op wanting to stay with her wife and loves her, is that gay. I have heard that it is called hetro for a TG but I am not sure if this is correct?


Sara.

[Leigh]

(i'll use gay cause I hate the word lesbian)

Be warned that you will never hear a woman refer to herself as gay--thats saved to the men.

A homosexual person; a gay man or a lesbian.
Usage Note: Many people now avoid using homosexual because of the emphasis this term places on sexuality. Indeed, the words gay and lesbian, which stress cultural and social matters over sex, are frequently better choices. Homosexual is most objectionable when used as a noun; here gay man and gay woman or lesbian and their plural forms are called for. It is generally unobjectionable when used adjectivally, as in a homosexual relationship, although gay, lesbian, or same-sex are also available for adjectival use.

as a female to love another female, Im taking about a person that has had the op wanting to stay with her wife and loves her, is that gay. I have heard that it is called hetro for a TG but I am not sure if this is correct?

You can call it whatever you want its your relationship.   If someone lives, works and presents as a female in a relationship with another female, society will see it as a lesbian one.