Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So today I got asked this for the second time and thus, for the second time, I've realized that I don't know how to answer it. I bind, have what looks like a 5oclock mustache shadow, my ponytail can go either way, but I still use female locker rooms/bathrooms. It was a pretty stupid guy who asked so I just said, "I'm both," in a joking-except-not-really way. He just looked confused [which he always looks, he's just that slow] and dropped it.

I feel uncomfortable with really coming out of the closet. I don't mind telling people I'm transgender, but it doesn't feel like coming out unless I insist on proper pronouns and such, and I don't want to do that until I get a haircut. I'm not really sure why, I just don't feel it's fair to do that when I just look very ambiguous.

What exactly am I supposed to say?

:-\

I've always preferred the one-word answer. Either "yes" or "no."

When you do you plan to get that haircut?

usually i just tell people its complicated...  ive never really come up with something good to say back.  somehow i feel like im "lying" if i say im a guy.  but im definitely not a girl.

sorry im not really helping.... im in the same boat. :(

Hmmm... A few random thoughts...

If he's THAT dumb (grin) he might not have noticed which locker room/bathroom you use. Guys do sometimes ask other guys "Are you a guy or a girl?" when there's not actually any doubt about it in their mind, as a sort of backhanded way of calling him gay. It might be meant as a hostile challange to a (perceived) gay guy, or hostility towards a potential rival for the ladies. There are some dudes that just feel threatened by any guys who's "man-pretty". I've even seen it used as a test, a sort of "are you cool enough to take a little hazing" kind of thing.

Haircuts can be very symbolic, so it makes sense to me you'd feel that way, but I don't think the ponytail's necessarily too ambiguous. A lot of guys have ponytails (shrug), it's really more of a fashion choice. And you could always just take the scissors and cut it off.

There really isn't a "supposed", but if you feel you'll be physically safe, then I'd say just answer in way that's true to who you really are, not what the world expects you to be. Coming out... it's not as much about insisting on pronouns as carrying yourself with pride and dignity. I'm going to be patient with caring people who try but need many pronoun reminders to break the "she/her" habit, (my guy's trying hard, it's very cute really!) but those who do it continually out of nastiness, (shrug) I'd just tell 'em that since I expect the world to accept me for the man I am, I guess I ought to expect the world to accept them for the (explative deleted!) that they are.

I envy you actually... (sigh) at least people have doubt, and that would be a huge step forward to me. I've ordered my first binder, but even with that (shrug)... I'll prob need T, before I get that.

A few suggestions:

1. If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

2. Use your imagination.

3. Neither, I'm actually a highly advanced lifeform from the planet X-134-M17, but I'm in disguise here on this little planet. The human concept of gender is fascinating, if rather limiting.

4. I'm <your name>, pleased to meet you.

Probably best to go with #4. ;)

Arch: As soon as I can. But I get the feeling my parents will have a major problem with me getting a haircut. So. Probably not for a few years as I won't be moving out for a while.

Chet: Well then, you can lurk this thread and maybe there will be a line you can use. :)

James: -pats- You don't need T to raise some doubt, I'm not on T. Have no idea where I got the shadow moustache though, it just kinda...grew. Not that I'm complaining or anything. Also, a huge factor is how you carry yourself and behave, rather than how you actually look. It's more of a subconscious thing that people don't really -notice- persay, but it greatly influences their analysis of your gender haha.

Leiandra: Those are really good haha. Thanks! ;D

Diggin the new avatar bro! Beanies ftw  ;D

Personally, I hate that question so I'm just mean enough to say "yes"

Thanks for the pat on the head (grin)! I've always carried myself in a masculine way but even when I dress as a guy too, it just seems "cute" to people. I don't look even look male enough for them to be hostile! I've just got a really femme build and features. Maybe I'll feel different when I get my binder, but these things are so big (looking at chest with a sigh) And I'm short, got a big butt, a little waist, a girly voice and birdy-little delicate bones...   (shrug) so I'll be a sissy-looking little gay guy. (grin) A proud one, though.

I thought of another insulting, annoying question actually I'm looking forward to! (grin) When a bunch of straight guys see two men together, you know how some smart-mouth's just got to ask "Which one's the girl?"....

"What's it to you?"

Quote from: James on October 19, 2008, 08:51:04 PM
I thought of another insulting, annoying question actually I'm looking forward to! (grin) When a bunch of straight guys see two men together, you know how some smart-mouth's just got to ask "Which one's the girl?"....

Oh man, with my ex-girlfriend, it was like every day someone asked me if I was the man in the relationship. ::) Next time I get asked that, I will firmly say YES.

that does not even begin to answer the question?  Did you support her?  Provide for her?  Were you the person bringing home the bacon.  Or were you just one more macho jerk thinking you get to call the shots when in fact, you brought little to nothing more to the relationship?  To be the man, you got to pay the bills, make the jack, provide and all that.  Otherwise its just a stupid power deal.

 ??? Tekla, I think maybe you missed what I meant. I meant yes, I am a man. Regardless of who takes the male gender role.

I hate that question, my response was usually are you and smartass or a dumbass...

>-bleeped-<boy

Men provide.  My GF lives rent free, did you're GF?  Do you support her?  Do you provide for her?  Or do you just walk in and think since you feel you are male you get to call the shots?  He who pays the piper gets to call the tune.  Do you work?  Do you bring home enough for people to live on?  Or is the difference between you and a large pizza is that the pizza feeds four?  You know what I mean?  What is is you do?  Men do.  That's the deal.  Its not the dick, its the work.

umm.... wow... going off much?  wtf, he was making a joke.

plus, to say that stuff is to also say that only men provide.  you support your GF, youre aparently one hell of a MAN.

I have an androgynous friend and she always responds 'is it REALLY that important?' XD i just say guy in a low voice and walk off but i dont get asked much because strangers dont talk to me much i guess  :P

No, what makes me one hell of a man is that I put 2 kids through college.  Honor Role.  That's the real deal.  Paying rent is no big shakes.  And women look for people their are able to count on.  That's the other deal.  Fun is fun, and risk free games and sex are fine, but when you start playing for keeps, life looks a whole lot different.

I compare myself to a 'stray cat' a lot actually, i have a lot of love and affection to give to the right person that decides to take me home one of these years but for now i'm at large. settling down is in the unforeseeable future for me, but when i do i'm sure i'll do well.

My 2 previous gf's lived "rent free". I made enough to provide for us both, but expected for her to at least TRY to find a job. Wasn't enough I worked 40+ hours a week, bought all the food, and still took her out..alls I ever wanted was to come home to a clean place, no dishes, no mess to pick up. Long story short, she (both) were lazy, and I had choice but to be the MAN and kick them both the f*$# out :)

And one is trying to come back on a "I'll get a job and pay half" note, sorry beeeeeeeeeeeeeezy! You've been replaced.

As far as the "Are you a boy or girl" scenario, I haven't been asked in years, but I always said "I'm a boy..and you?". Or if you really want to be a jerk "How about I pull down my pants so you can suck my DICK". < Only used that once, and it was answered with a odd/confused/frightened stare.

I just felt I wanted to comment on something someone said earlier on about "MEN" being providers.

I honestly don't and never have looked at it in that way.  I personally really don't like constricting labels that say men must provide and women must do the dishes.  Who says either should or shouldn't do either? Why are they correct or incorrect?  Doesn't it depend on situation, the individual, personal choice and preference?  A woman may not want a man who provides, may feel personally insulted if she cannot be the one to bring home the bacon.  Does that make her partner any less of a "man" if he chooses to be with that person?
And what about gay guys?  They are both men after all or is one the real "MAN"?


I know that everyone on here is obviously going to have very differing views on how they conduct their lives and relationships but I mean come on in some way all of us on here are pushing the boundaries of what mainstream society considers "normal" whatever the heck that is and therefore I feel it makes sense for us to want to smash what are frankly suffocating gender stereotypes in my opinion.

You can argue that you can be trans/ androgyne/ whatever and still subscribe to the idea that there should only be traditional gender stereotypes that men or women behave in accordance to but what I would say to you and it is just my opinion, I'm not saying I'm right is that most of those same sterotypes would keep you (as a member of the trans community) down by default.
Those stereotypes, if adhered to would deny you the very right to be who you are. 

Hi Tekla, you say you were such a good provider as the man of the house, putting 2 kids through college and enough money left over for what ever and the rent being no biggie. Then could you kindly tell me what the F**K are you doing on a transgender forum if you are such a successful a cisgender male?

When I was supposed to be a male I tried my best to keep a home together pay the bills buy food and look after three kids. Sent the kids to school in the morning, worked delivering mail door to door for four hours per day, then hurry home to get the kids off the bus, make supper, clean house, wash dishes, put away the toys and bathe the kids, and change the diapers on the youngest one. And then sit in a chair and watch my half blitzed abusive wife harassing me and sometime with some physical abuse involved.

I am certainly happy and thank God and all my lucky stars that I wasn't a man or there may be someones body in a grave somewhere and me rotting in some prison someplace for life. Oh yea all those years drinking alcoholically in an attempt to escape reality, and then ending up living ten years on the street, and I will not get into the rapings. I will go no further.

Cindy

I believe in providing for my woman but I think things like rent and such should be halfed. Why because automatically I am man I have to pay for everything... eh no. Everyone is equal at the end of the day.

I have been asked that once. But I said guy which I possibly shouldn't have done. If I dont know the people I say guy now. Or "what is it to you" or I just laugh at them and walk away.

This really shouldn't turn into a battle of "roles". I respect 9 out of 10 of Telka's posts. They're never sugar-coated, and I respect that 100%. But as far as "roles" go, it can truly go both ways.

After a 25 year marriage, my parents split, where as my father was pretty wealthy, married, with stocks, he isn't single, with no kids to claim. And my mother has helped me 1000000000000% in the past 5 years. She inched her way up the "mans world" scale, and after being a office b*%*# for 10 years, she now runs her own little team, and works from home, doing half the work, twice the money..

Let's not make this a gender thing..Now a days, plenty of women are making equal, if not more than the average man.

Quote from: tekla on October 19, 2008, 10:49:01 PM
Men provide.  My GF lives rent free, did you're GF?  Do you support her?  Do you provide for her?  Or do you just walk in and think since you feel you are male you get to call the shots?  He who pays the piper gets to call the tune.  Do you work?  Do you bring home enough for people to live on?  Or is the difference between you and a large pizza is that the pizza feeds four?  You know what I mean?  What is is you do?  Men do.  That's the deal.  Its not the dick, its the work.

Wow, you're such a man's man aren't you?  Sometimes I think you step over the line with your comments.  These are young guys here, and you talk like sh*t to them.  I'd hate you to be my father that is for sure.   >:(

Hi GQjoey Don't worry about me I rarely come into the F-M groups I am not usually confrontaional. But it just irritates me when someone makes it sound like, "Hey!" Look at me man!" me big warrior, look at all the mastodon's I killed today with my club. Sorry if offended but this transition journey is not a bed of roses, nore is it like dancing tip toe through the tulips with me game, for either gender dysphoric.
Cindy holds hat with long plume in both hands and bows respectfully then saunters off the stage gracefully.

Cindy 

While Janis might have sang, that 'freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose' she was most likely wrong.  I know all sort of women who have done very well.  Lawyers, executives, professors, even craft persons.  I know all sorts of guys who sat wondering 'why?' when the real question was always 'why not?'

For years I was, as you were with the hippies.  To a degree I still am.  What scared me then, and scares me now as I see another crop coming along is just what you describe.  Lots of lost little indians in that tribe.  They wandered from place to place, from person to person, from drug to drug until it all caught up with them.  But there were many who asked that 'why not' question and if not finding a way out, at least found a way through.  In the seventies I know several who took the path I did, into and through entertainment, where the rule were somewhat lax.  But I also know a bunch who were the original freaks at Atari and Apple, smoking dope, listening to the Dead and writing code.  They had that anchor, that thing they wanted to do, write code, or put on the show, or just sit and study.

I've lost a lot of people in my life through crossdressing and gender play.  Some were pretty important to me.  Its just that in keeping my eyes open, I've gained just as many.  In all desolation there is a measure of liberation.  So I wasn't going to be a big hit at the office with my painted nails, my clothing choices and mannerisms, I managed to find a place where no one cared about it, or even kind of liked it.  Or in doing research and writing, I found that the books didn't care at all, and the words on the printed page did not carry that onus with them.

With or without GID, if its severe or mild, life will go on anyway.  And you have to find a way to keep on living, and if you can find a way that is not just mere existence, that might provide you a life, isn't that better?  Isn't it a positive to think that you don't have to wash your life in drugs and crawl out of that hole?  And indeed, your the lucky one if you found that way out, for most its a one way death trip.  I don't want to see another generation walking the streets of the tenderloin looking for crack, or drunk on cheep vodka, or all methed out and tweeking.  I would like to think we can teach and encourage success just as easy as we could teach and encourage failure.

I'm not great white hunter, I just liked money.  I thought that money could (and it did) provide a certain level of if not freedom, at least security.  And you obligations, no matter how you come to bear them, are your obligations.  Living up to them, regardless of who you are, or how you are, is just part of being human in the greater world.

Karl Marx once said that history repeats itself, 'first as a Tragedy, and the second time as a Farce."  And we, in this community, everyone from drag queens to crossdressers to TS are crossing that borderline now.  Where what happened to a lot of us was tragic, what's going on is moving a different direction.  As more and more TG persons of all stripes find success, its going to be a lot harder for those that do not to find sympathy. 

In our own ways, many of us have been a part of that.  Making it all OK.  But it makes the road that others have to follow a bit harder in some ways.

So sure, plan for your HRT, or SRS, or find a place where you can express yourself, but be sure that you also have to have a life plan, goals, a way to make it in the world, GID or not.

The roles you take on, the roles you play, the roles you choose are not set in stone, but they all have consequences, many of them long term. 

For those who take some sort of counter path they get to invent them, but those that want to mainstream their lives, will be required to play by the same rules as everyone else.

Quote from: freespeechz on October 17, 2008, 07:33:24 PM

What exactly am I supposed to say?

"I'm a vampire. Now run before I eat your face, grub"

Posted on: October 20, 2008, 12:19:01 pm

---

Quote from: tekla on October 19, 2008, 09:14:05 PM
that does not even begin to answer the question?  Did you support her?  Provide for her?  Were you the person bringing home the bacon.  Or were you just one more macho jerk thinking you get to call the shots when in fact, you brought little to nothing more to the relationship?  To be the man, you got to pay the bills, make the jack, provide and all that.  Otherwise its just a stupid power deal.

Teks, I think he was commenting on how when he and his GF are seen as a lesbian couple they get asked the silly question of "who's the man/who's the woman" and now that he is discovering his emerging masculinity, he will respond he's the man. He was not claiming any sovereignty over her, it was a jest. Besides, your ideas of what being a male and a female are seem slightly outdated.

Eeek, I seem to have inadvertedly started all this (How do I always manage that?) but when I brought up the "Who's the girl?" question I meant a situation where the phrase is used to harass two gay men... I thought that was obvious. and I'm sorry Tekla, I'll try to be more clear in the future.  It was a joke, based on the fact that it seems ironic to me that whai is typically harassment would actually make me happy to hear applied to me, as it would mean they saw me as a gay MALE, not a female.
As to the rest, yeah, you have to pay your bills like everybody else does regardless of your gender, it'll likely be harder for us to find jobs than other people, if you want to achieve something you need a plan, the gender roles assigned to us by society or ourselves aren't inflexable and unchangable, choices have consequences, and (in the words of Mr. Mackie) drugs are bad, m'kay... (shrug) good advice, but obvious, especially for most of us and I'm not sure what it has to do with the topic, which is basically about how best to respond when people question your gender.

I HATE when people ask this question. I haven't come out to my friends yet, so I flounder around for an answer, not willing to admit I'm a girl, but not having enough guts to say I'm a guy and explain to my friends. I always end up shrugging if there's a lot of people around, or if I'm feeling rebellious, I'll ask 'Why does it matter?', sort of as a rhetorical question, but also kinda curious.

Just the other day, I was on my way home on the city bus with a whole bunch of people from my school, I was listening to my iPod real loud to drown out the noise and my thoughts (which I never succeed in drowning the latter), when I saw the guy sitting in the row in front of me (I was standing near the middle door) ask if I was a boy or a girl. I could barely hear him (my ears are really sensitive, even when listening to loud rock/metal music), but I knew the mouthing of the words. I was floundering again, because one of my friends was standing a few feet away from me, and the question had caught her attention. I just ended up shrugging, and then she turned on me. She was like 'Did you just tell that guy that you didn't know if you were a boy or a girl?' I was totally screwed, so I just made a face and turned around to look out the door.

Anyway, long story short, this happens a lot, and it's impossible to come up with an answer.

Although, if I really thought about it, I might be able to come up with a formidable response, but my mind always goes into panic. I guess I'll try Arch's idea; I'll bet that'll sound funny. 'Are you a boy or a girl?' 'Yes'.

I resolved that the next time someone asked me that, I'd say, 'Guess'.

Honestly, I'd ask them, as I said earlier, 'what it to you?'  But if I'm in a good mood, I might just give them an increadbily long winded answer that goes nowhere when you parse it out.  Kind of like Grandpa Simpson, who is my hero in that regard.

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I took the fairy to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter you'd say. Now where were we, oh ya. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because if the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones."

Tekla kicks ass!  Too bad she's taken.  ;)


Jay

Just remember, the goal is to have them walking away thinking "Gee, I'm sorry I asked."

Quote from: tekla on October 21, 2008, 05:31:15 PM
Just remember, the goal is to have them walking away thinking "Gee, I'm sorry I asked."

Good point.

(to the original topic)

I've never been asked this before..but honestly, I don't know what I will say if I'm ever asked because I don't really look male and it will just rub me the wrong way to say "I'm a girl" because that's not how I feel I am. If it ever happens I guess I'll just say "It's complicated"

I got to use my 'Guess'. It's actually pretty effective. He guessed I was a guy. So I just left it there, so my friends would think I was just being sarcastic (which mostly I was, but I was also curious) but I wouldn't have to admit to the truth.

Quote from: milliontoone on October 20, 2008, 02:02:50 AM
I just felt I wanted to comment on something someone said earlier on about "MEN" being providers.

I honestly don't and never have looked at it in that way.  I personally really don't like constricting labels that say men must provide and women must do the dishes.  Who says either should or shouldn't do either? Why are they correct or incorrect?  Doesn't it depend on situation, the individual, personal choice and preference?  A woman may not want a man who provides, may feel personally insulted if she cannot be the one to bring home the bacon.  Does that make her partner any less of a "man" if he chooses to be with that person?
And what about gay guys?  They are both men after all or is one the real "MAN"?


I know that everyone on here is obviously going to have very differing views on how they conduct their lives and relationships but I mean come on in some way all of us on here are pushing the boundaries of what mainstream society considers "normal" whatever the heck that is and therefore I feel it makes sense for us to want to smash what are frankly suffocating gender stereotypes in my opinion.

You can argue that you can be trans/ androgyne/ whatever and still subscribe to the idea that there should only be traditional gender stereotypes that men or women behave in accordance to but what I would say to you and it is just my opinion, I'm not saying I'm right is that most of those same sterotypes would keep you (as a member of the trans community) down by default.
Those stereotypes, if adhered to would deny you the very right to be who you are. 

*standing fvkk3n ovation*

I'm in pretty much the same place as the OP.
I can hide it well for pictures, but in reality, right now, my hair is so long that it is just about at my ass.
It is like this because until recently, I was not in a place in my life where I could start transitioning, and if I had to pass as female then, well, I would grow it out because I have a soft spot for really long hair on both girls and boys and thought maybe I'd like it that way (it's a pain in the ass, I tell you).

When I go out now, I braid it, the only thing I really can do.
Duo Maxwell-esque, for anyone that might happen to be a GW fan in these parts, though I don't do it purposefully to be like that.

I intend to get my hair cut, finally, to a more convincing boy-style in December, when I visit my parents for Christmas (and have hopefully lost a little weight).
I have no reason not to go out and do it right now, except, well.  My mother is a professional hair dresser, and is the only person to ever have touched my hair.
She "gets me," so even when I give her crappy, "Well, I want it...  like this...  *waves hands, wiggles fingers, crosses eyes, makes no sense*" she just knows.  Hair grows out, but man am I paranoid about going to a random shop and ending up with something hellish and awful.
Maybe that's a sissy reason, but yeah.  I've heard, and seen, the horror stories, man.


Also, just a quick touch on the "men providing" and "outdated standards" and all of that -- my grandfather was an absolute pussy and my grandmother did everything and supported everyone all on her own.  She controlled the house, the rules, the income, the spending, with an iron fist.
My grandfather did not have free access to any of their money -- he was given an allowance, like a teenager.  When she would send him out for grocery shopping, she would give him a specific amount to spend, and expected both the receipt and any remaining cash (to the cent) returned to her.
She had a job in law, and worked until the day she was forced to retire.  He did things around the house.
They've both passed, my grandfather years ago, and my grandmother months ago...  and my grandmother is still providing.
My mother received her house (the house that had always been in my grandmother's name, not my grandfather's) and generous inheritance, and I received an annuity that provides me with a certain amount of money every month no matter what.
Having lived most of my life in the house with my grandparents, I have to agree with milliontoone about "never having looked at it that way".
I don't mean to say any of the opinions or statements are wrong, just that I grew up with a different viewpoint.  :)

Quote from: tekla on October 19, 2008, 10:49:01 PM
Men provide.  My GF lives rent free, did you're GF?  Do you support her?  Do you provide for her?  Or do you just walk in and think since you feel you are male you get to call the shots?  He who pays the piper gets to call the tune.  Do you work?  Do you bring home enough for people to live on?  Or is the difference between you and a large pizza is that the pizza feeds four?  You know what I mean?  What is is you do?  Men do.  That's the deal.  Its not the dick, its the work.

::)

It takes a real man to date a woman who makes more than he does.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on October 27, 2008, 03:23:18 PM

Quote from: tekla on October 19, 2008, 10:49:01 PM
Men provide.  My GF lives rent free, did you're GF?  Do you support her?  Do you provide for her?  Or do you just walk in and think since you feel you are male you get to call the shots?  He who pays the piper gets to call the tune.  Do you work?  Do you bring home enough for people to live on?  Or is the difference between you and a large pizza is that the pizza feeds four?  You know what I mean?  What is is you do?  Men do.  That's the deal.  Its not the dick, its the work.

::)

It takes a real man to date a woman who makes more than he does.

Oooo!!! Ooooo!!! Pick me Pick me!!!!

I would LOVE  a suga mama :D <3

I got my sugar mommy, her name is Wing Walker.

Cindy

Quote from: cindybc on October 20, 2008, 07:28:47 AM
Hi GQjoey Don't worry about me I rarely come into the F-M groups I am not usually confrontaional. But it just irritates me when someone makes it sound like, "Hey!" Look at me man!" me big warrior, look at all the mastodon's I killed today with my club. Sorry if offended but this transition journey is not a bed of roses, nore is it like dancing tip toe through the tulips with me game, for either gender dysphoric.
Cindy holds hat with long plume in both hands and bows respectfully then saunters off the stage gracefully.

Cindy 

YES THIS. And a lot of "you're not a real man if you don't x" which, due to being CRIPPLED!!!!! I am unable to do. As you provided the work example above--

I know when to swallow the immaturity. I am your typical type-a worker, I take ask questions and take notes when instructed and refer to them to make sure I get it right the first time, I'm enthusiastic, always up for something more to do or learn, etc. And regardless of my personal feelings, my boss is my boss. But I have a husband and child at home and if I give work the attention and energy deserving of employment and a paycheck, I become exhausted, enraged, eventually abusive (yes to my deep shame this is something I have done--NEVER again).

Oh and then there's the physical illnesses (like my renal system failing... getting pneumonia from a simple cold and taking 2 Z-packs in a row and STILL taking 2 months to recover basic functionality). Of course the exhaustion rage above by that time will have already made people around me uncomfortable, so between the two "it's just not working out" is something I've heard more times than I care to talk about.

And of course that revolting justification: I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE TACT OR APOLOGISE, I AM A MAN. That is so much CRAP. Males, especially caucasian males, need to be mindful of privilege and conscientious toward others.

Someone who poses as a role model could be considered downright abusive for forcing bullsh-- standards like that down the throat of one like me who's so early in their journey and has so many other things to contend with. I may not be a butch man, but I DO have the courage (again, lack of sexist language) to admit that 1) There are things I cannot do. 2) My identity is fragile right now. I don't need that kind of push, it'll only crush me.

Ever wonder why the more a man is loud and bullying and insistent, the less he can apologise? Why does that threaten so? Why can't a guy like that "Man it up" (OH MAH GAWD DID I SAY THAT I THINK I DID) and "take responsibility"?

Quote from: trapthavok on October 27, 2008, 10:04:21 PM
Oooo!!! Ooooo!!! Pick me Pick me!!!!

I would LOVE  a suga mama :D <3

Awww!

Sorry, dude, you're not my type -- I'm more into girls. ;)

Plus, I'm a grad student -- you could make more than I do working as a clerk at Kroger! :laugh: I'm the one who needs a sugar mama! But for now, all I've got is my rich uncle, Sam.

~Alyssa

Hi iFindMeHere, I do so hear you loud and clear. Why do there have to be those who seem only to live to prove who is the big boss, and enjoy shoving the runt around to show off to his buddies how big a he man he is. or make the runt the butt of a joke at the expense of the victim. Big chief, the man, red neck, macho, chauvinist pigs etc. OK I'll stop right there. I could go on and on and even come out with worst metaphors but it wouldn't make me any better then they were if I did.

I'm just glad it's in my past and that my life as a woman has been well worth it and much more rewarding, and I have purpose in my life, not just an aimless transient life like I did before.

I will send prayers that all goes well in your journey through the balance of your transition.

Cindy

If any one asks i go for the approach that'll make them back away slowly and wont ask again.
Like
'eee what are yuo a boy or a girl'
Me: what ever it is, you have to promise me yuo have to suck or
or
meet me behind the bins in 5.

Shuts em up and they dont ask again =]

Quote from: cindybc on October 28, 2008, 08:49:09 PM
Hi iFindMeHere, I do so hear you loud and clear. Why do there have to be those who seem only to live to prove who is the big boss, and enjoy shoving the runt around to show off to his buddies how big a he man he is. or make the runt the butt of a joke at the expense of the victim. Big chief, the man, red neck, macho, chauvinist pigs etc. OK I'll stop right there. I could go on and on and even come out with worst metaphors but it wouldn't make me any better then they were if I did.

I'm just glad it's in my past and that my life as a woman has been well worth it and much more rewarding, and I have purpose in my life, not just an aimless transient life like I did before.

I will send prayers that all goes well in your journey through the balance of your transition.

Cindy

Please yes. Today has been horrid.

tekla, it is honor ROLL.
sheesh.

well then, Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!

Quote from: tekla on October 21, 2008, 05:31:15 PM
Just remember, the goal is to have them walking away thinking "Gee, I'm sorry I asked."

QFT :P

Sometimes it is awesome being able to read French.
Oh yes, and here are three answers good for almost any question, and apply in an especially amusing way here:
That's for me to know and you to find out.
Takes one to know one.
I know you are but what am I?

Quote from: soldierjane on January 07, 2009, 02:57:11 PM

QFT :P

dumb boy says "wuh?"

Haha Lane, Quoted For Truth.

Quote from: freespeechz on January 07, 2009, 07:54:07 PM
Haha Lane, Quoted For Truth.

i'm so dumb i thought you were quoting me. HAHAH Thanks man

QFT (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_field_theory)