Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I just had "GRS like" surgery because of non-transgender reason. I had cancer in the root of my penis. Only treatment was total penectomy. So, I had to lose it anyway. After long discussions with doctors of different profiles, my friends and my girlfriend, I decided to go further: instead only losing a part, just to get something in return. So, I had my GRS-like surgery just one week ago. I am not a woman nor I fill a woman. I am just a man with female genitals. Maybe it is crazy, but... what was another option? If you think that I do not apply into this group, please tell me and I will withdraw.

Of course you are welcome, here, George.

I'm sure that this has been hard for you, and I hope that you won't run into prejudice and bigotry in the outside world. Many of us do not look upon such surgery as a problem, but I think most of us here will provide what support we can.

I know that we have at least one other member who had a similar problem but who has adjusted well as a female.

So talk to us and explore your feelings as you heal.

Robyn

Hi George, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 5300 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. :icon_hug:

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  

Hugs and Love,
Janet

There are lots of guys living with female like genitals. You may find some of the information in the ftm sections useful.

Remember genitals doesn't define gender so it's possible to make what you have now work for ya.

I'm curious though, the construction of female genitals require the use of a lot of the penis. How were they able to do that if it was full of cancerous material?

It sounds like you made a tough decision. You are, of course, welcome here. The struggles you will face will have similarities to some of us I think.

Make yourself at home, George.

Welcome George =] whether you end up deciding to transition or not should never be an issue =]

Welcome George. I'm really glad your here! Whats between your legs don't even matter here. Your more then welcome here. I hope your in good health now.

Welcome George, of course you are welcome here. :)

Welcome!

So now you have a vagina, instead of a penis. Well; if you ask me: It's a far better choice than the sadly lacking phalloplasty, but then... I may be biased. :P

I don't think you suddenly fit in the trans or intersex groups, if you are comfortable with your masculinity. And don't let anyone tell you you are not a man! Most of your gender/sex is in your head, and we define ourselves by that rather than what's between our legs. Sure; in a perfect world, everyone would have the genitals to fit our minds, but hey.. It's not a perfect world.

Whether or not you 'belong' at Susans is not for us to judge.. As far as I'm concerned, everyone's welcome! :D (Well; provided they're nice people, of course.) So if you feel comfortable with us, then we'll feel comfortable with you.
Like someone else has stated: The FtM section might have some interesting topics for you to read up on, even if your situation as a cisman is a bit different.

So: Make yourself at home. Welcome, George!

.... :-\

Seems the gods have put you in a unique situation......

Welcome aboard dude.

welcome! Everyone with an open mind belongs!

Samantha

Welcome to Susan's!

That is an interesting situation for sure. We don't have any problem with you staying, just stay as long as you'd like. If we don't have anything of interest to you then leave, otherwise you're welcome.

Dear friends. Thank you for so warm welcome. I cannot write much yet, because I am still healing from the surgery. I had my surgery less than a week ago, so I still can't stand or walk, and even seating is not yet comfortable. In few days when I recover enough, I will tell you more, and answer to some of your thoughts. I feel much better after surgery than I expected (I mean emotionally). But I am still sure how will feel in the future... I hope for the best.

Welcome George, take it easy, hope to hear more from you when you recover.

Hi George

Welcome to Susan's  :)

Finally, I am free to move (hard bandages off, urinary pipe too), so I have a time to write little more of my story. All that begun one month ago, when, during routine x-ray of my hips, something strange was found. My hips were ok, but some shadow was found just in the root of my penis. After further inspection they found small tumor, of the size of a peas. After test of the sample taken from it, it was clear that it is cancer. I had to go to the hospital out of my country to do further tests, and eventually surgery. After full week of tests and inspections, my doctor told me that the cancer is not too big, but still there is no other way to treat it but surgically. It is in what they call it "type II", it was encapsulated (no metastases) but in the worst possible place! I had three options, all surgical. The first one was total penectomy, what means complete amputation of the penis. That would give me highest "survival rate" – 95%, if combined with bilateral orchietomy (removal of testes). In most cases, orchietomy is recommended because it increase survival rate by 5-10%. Second option was similar, but with penis glans transplanted to the penis root. It will give same survival rate, but with advantage of not losing the most sensitive part of the penis. The third option was "wide local excision". This means that cancer would be removed along with a border of healthy tissue around it. Cavity formed would be filled by silicon foam to return normal look of your penis. That way, my penis would be preserved (but it would be inactive), but survival rate would be decreased by 10%. Life is more important than anything, so I was ready to accept the second option, even it was very painful to accept. However, surgeon told me about another option, which is not usual (he had only four patients who chosen it in his 25 years career), but I have to take it under consideration. It is penectomy combined with vaginoplasty. It would be similar to "usual" gender-reassignment surgery, just the part of the penis around its root would be removed together with a cancer. At first I didn't take that option at all as something realistic. I had free weekend to choose the surgery and to return to the hospital. After many discussions with my sister and my friends, as well as three ex-patients who had similar surgeries, I decided to try that last option!

I had my surgery last Wednesday in one of leading hospitals in UK. Just three days ago, I was released of that hard bandages, and this morning they removed me all, including peeing-pipe, so I can use my "new stuff" to pie. I am steel under sedatives, so I have no any feeling there, but at least I can see it. To be frank, it is very strange feeling. To see "object of your wishes" as part of your own body is really very strange feeling. Actually, the first look aroused me, and I nearly felt erection (in my brain only, of course), like it is not my own body. It is just the first impression, but really, it doesn't look bad, even deep scars are still visible. I am now very curious what will be feeling there when I stop with pain-killers? Would I feel that my penis is inside "reverted" or what? I still have that "gauze former" inside my "new vagina", and feel nothing because it is filled with pain-killers", but in a day or two it would be removed, and I will begun with dilating.

---

Post Merge: July 27, 2010, 03:54:01 AM

---

Quote from: Robyn on July 25, 2010, 09:51:38 PM
Of course you are welcome, here, George.

I'm sure that this has been hard for you, and I hope that you won't run into prejudice and bigotry in the outside world. Many of us do not look upon such surgery as a problem, but I think most of us here will provide what support we can.

I know that we have at least one other member who had a similar problem but who has adjusted well as a female.

So talk to us and explore your feelings as you heal.

Robyn

Really? Is her name Josephine? I met her as ex-patient of my doctor just to discuss options for my surgery. However, I don;t think I would ever want to be a woman. But, someone said... "never sway never" ;)

---

Post Merge: July 27, 2010, 04:57:04 AM

---

Quote from: Osiris on July 25, 2010, 10:26:14 PM
There are lots of guys living with female like genitals. You may find some of the information in the ftm sections useful.

Remember genitals doesn't define gender so it's possible to make what you have now work for ya.

I'm curious though, the construction of female genitals require the use of a lot of the penis. How were they able to do that if it was full of cancerous material?

I agree that genitals doesn't not define someone's gender. It is in his/her brain and soul!

I already explained in my long message that cancer was in the root of the penis, so only that part was really removed. Other parts, especially its tip, were transplanted to feel "labias" and to make sort of clitoris.

---

Post Merge: July 27, 2010, 05:58:05 AM

---

Quote from: Laura91 on July 25, 2010, 10:46:56 PM
Welcome to the forum, George. :)

My mom is half-Russian :)

Welcome. Hope you are feeling a bit better, and you have beaten your illness totally. 

I just read you recent recount of your surgery and I have to say I am just amazed at how well you seem to have adjusted. I pray that you have many, many happy years ahead of you.

Quote from: The Original Cami on July 27, 2010, 05:08:27 PM
I just read you recent recount of your surgery and I have to say I am just amazed at how well you seem to have adjusted. I pray that you have many, many happy years ahead of you.

Adjusted? Oh no... I am just trying to adjust... It is all so strange and new to me... having and seeing something what was "subject of your desire" all your life to be there as part of YOUR body is so strange that I feel crazy! But I hope with time I will really adjust. Thanks for your prays. All the results of the tissue removed shows that cancer was completely encapsulated and no metastases. But... you never know...

wow, well man.  I just wanted to remind you that you are still a man, and that genitals do not make you any less of a man.

stay strong.  hell, you may even like what you have now.

this is indeed a quite interesting situation if I may say so.

i feel like I have a lot to say, but I cant really put it in words... anyway good luck with healing and  you can always post here if you have troubles, or triumphs, we are here to support you.

Quote from: Elijah on July 27, 2010, 10:41:05 PM
wow, well man.  I just wanted to remind you that you are still a man, and that genitals do not make you any less of a man.

stay strong.  hell, you may even like what you have now.

this is indeed a quite interesting situation if I may say so.

i feel like I have a lot to say, but I cant really put it in words... anyway good luck with healing and  you can always post here if you have troubles, or triumphs, we are here to support you.

Thanks Elijah! I agree that I am a man, but... I hope other girls will share your opinion :) Anyway, thanks for support.

Quote from: George on July 27, 2010, 11:39:04 PM
Thanks Elijah! I agree that I am a man, but... I hope other girls will share your opinion :) Anyway, thanks for support.

well if there are girls who can love transguys and there are, then you will fond someone for you.  It may even be nice.. some girls dont like the pressure of oral sex etc.  Also.. think of it this way... now you can have any size penis you want with the many possibilities of strap ons.

Quote from: Elijah on July 27, 2010, 11:50:18 PM
well if there are girls who can love transguys and there are, then you will fond someone for you.  It may even be nice.. some girls dont like the pressure of oral sex etc.  Also.. think of it this way... now you can have any size penis you want with the many possibilities of strap ons.

So, I got an advantage?! HAHAHA, Thanks again Elijah! You make me laughing again after some time. I will take your words seriously, really
PS. Another advantage... strapon never fall down ;)

Quote from: George on July 28, 2010, 12:23:16 AM
So, I got an advantage?! HAHAHA, Thanks again Elijah! You make me laughing again after some time. I will take your words seriously, really
PS. Another advantage... strapon never fall down ;)

I'm glad to help. and hell yea.. you wont have to worry about staying hard ;)

also.. I dont recall the extent of your surgery.. but if it is possible for you to be penetrated, well that could lead to some really awesome, new things for you to explore.

so, its not all bad, try to think of the positives.

Another thought just came to mind too. You can have a fun time with the religo-fruitackes, no matter what they say you will have them stuffed!! >:-)

This is a most interesting story, George. I've never heard of a vaginoplasty for such a reason before. I certainly wish you all the best in your recovery.

I hope you can take a "life gives you lemons so make lemonade" attitude about your situation. The only constant in life is change. We just have to make the best of those changes. I think I know how I would deal with it, but you have to choose your own path.

While your situation is different from many on this board, there is much you can learn from persons here who have gone through similar procedures and adapted well. It's a good place to find a little support when you don't find it elsewhere, too.

I have to say I admire your courage. Good luck.

Lyric

Quote from: Elijah on July 28, 2010, 12:28:41 AM
I'm glad to help. and hell yea.. you wont have to worry about staying hard ;)

also.. I dont recall the extent of your surgery.. but if it is possible for you to be penetrated, well that could lead to some really awesome, new things for you to explore.

so, its not all bad, try to think of the positives.

Of course, I am always trying to think positive... even sometimes it is not so easy. but, you are right, there will be lot of new things to explore... Just needs some time to recover completely first and also top fully accept my new body. Let us see what will happen!

George:

I, for one, am thrilled to have you here at this website.  I'm sure many others here will agree that it's great to have you on board.

By profession, I do quality control for medical transcription at many major hospitals throughout the U.S.A.  You are by no means the only person to ever face this situation, I assure you.  I've been in the medical records biz for a long time, and I've encountered this very situation more than you might think anyone would.  Many people who go through this type of surgery have a very hard time beating depression.

What IS remarkable is your attitude to the surgery.  Your attitude is exemplary.  Your life will be happy because of it. 

You are willing to drop by and visit us, realize that we are people too, understand that we're not perverted or crazy and just want to live normal, happy lives ... just like you want to ... just like most people want to.  That's phenomenal!

I salute you, sir!  You are an open-minded man of courage.  Welcome to Susan's Place.  Drop on in anytime.  You are among friends here.

:)   Lacey Lynne

George,
How are you doing? I'm curious about how you are getting on. It took me 39 years to make the decision that you had a little over a month to consider. I greatly admire your courage.

Melody

George, it is great that you are here. You for sure prove that gender is indeed in the brain, and that you are not less of a man because of it. I do wish the best for you.

Quote from: LaceyLynne on July 29, 2010, 12:20:28 AM
George:

I, for one, am thrilled to have you here at this website.  I'm sure many others here will agree that it's great to have you on board.

By profession, I do quality control for medical transcription at many major hospitals throughout the U.S.A.  You are by no means the only person to ever face this situation, I assure you.  I've been in the medical records biz for a long time, and I've encountered this very situation more than you might think anyone would.  Many people who go through this type of surgery have a very hard time beating depression.

What IS remarkable is your attitude to the surgery.  Your attitude is exemplary.  Your life will be happy because of it. 

You are willing to drop by and visit us, realize that we are people too, understand that we're not perverted or crazy and just want to live normal, happy lives ... just like you want to ... just like most people want to.  That's phenomenal!

I salute you, sir!  You are an open-minded man of courage.  Welcome to Susan's Place.  Drop on in anytime.  You are among friends here.

:)   Lacey Lynne

Thank you for warm welcome. Lacey, I am sure I am not the only person who passed through the same situation. Just three weeks ago, I met a man who went through the same surgery after he had cancer surgery. However, he did it in two steps. He decided to have genital reassignment after he had penectomy because of cancer. His case was one of the man argument why I decided to go this way. He was happy with his new anatomy much more than other man, I met too, he just lost what he had. So, if I have to chose just lose something, or to lose something and get something else in return, I just decided for the second option.

My altitude is always to get what I have without complain, to try to be happy with, and to get the best of it. Sort of life optimism, and sort of believing... He must have a reason to do what He did to me, right? Better to try to be happy than to cry for rest of my life!

George

---

Post Merge: August 01, 2010, 07:52:58 PM

---

Quote from: Melody on August 01, 2010, 04:04:34 PM
George,
How are you doing? I'm curious about how you are getting on. It took me 39 years to make the decision that you had a little over a month to consider. I greatly admire your courage.

Melody

Actually, i had only one week to decide, after that option was given to me. But I had no choice. I had cancer and I had to do surgery urgently to save my life. What choices I had? Just two: to just lose important part of me to save life, or to lose it but get something else in return. It wasn't so difficult to chose later. When my doctor told me about that option, I was against only in the first moment, and just because it sounded so unusual to me. After that, when I put all arguments on the table, just all of them were for what I call "second option" (GRS). I will lose nothing what I would not lose if I chose the first option. But I will get something. I can be unhappy with? Right, but I always can "close" it, right? In the moment, two weeks after surgery, I don;t see any reason why would I be sorry because of my decision. I already like some aspects of having "female genitals", with time... maybe I will like it even more.Please, don't call it courage, I just had no choice, that's all :)

Don't sell yourself short. You made a tough choice that many men would not have made.

I'm curious. I know why I would love to have girl parts (and I will someday!), but if you don't mind me asking, what do you like about it?

Quote from: Melody on August 01, 2010, 08:41:49 PM
Don't sell yourself short. You made a tough choice that many men would not have made.

I'm curious. I know why I would love to have girl parts (and I will someday!), but if you don't mind me asking, what do you like about it?

Good question. First what I really like is that they are much more comfortable. No need too pack into your underwear, also, no pinching when in tight trousers... Also, peeing is going much smoother and quicker. Disadvantage is that I have to wipe now (what I often forget), and I think big disadvantage will be going to public toilet. Also, esthetically they look much prettier... okay... I cannot be objective in that, but really, man's genitals are all but not pretty :( However, still I cannot see them as part of me emotionally... I am watching them every morning, but still... I feel like  I am looking into some nude lady. And my reaction is just normal reaction of a man (still a man!!!). It is strange, I know it is crazy in my situation, but... I nearly feel an erection when watching them :) I hope it will disappear with time, because it is just pervert to be turned on by yourself :(
One question about that... would I have to wear ladies underњear (panties)? Man's doesn't fit no more :(

Quote from: George on August 01, 2010, 09:40:40 PM
Good question. First what I really like is that they are much more comfortable. No need too pack into your underwear, also, no pinching when in tight trousers... Also, peeing is going much smoother and quicker. Disadvantage is that I have to wipe now (what I often forget), and I think big disadvantage will be going to public toilet. Also, esthetically they look much prettier... okay... I cannot be objective in that, but really, man's genitals are all but not pretty :( However, still I cannot see them as part of me emotionally... I am watching them every morning, but still... I feel like  I am looking into some nude lady. And my reaction is just normal reaction of a man (still a man!!!). It is strange, I know it is crazy in my situation, but... I nearly feel an erection when watching them :) I hope it will disappear with time, because it is just pervert to be turned on by yourself :(
One question about that... would I have to wear ladies underњear (panties)? Man's doesn't fit no more :(

Good to hear things are going OK.. I'd suggest that you have a look at some of the more everyday, cotton underwear.. Here in Australia, Bonds have quite a selection that fit well, and won't instantly scream PANTIES if they happen to peek out over the top of your trousers.. Maybe a boy leg short might work for you too.. Hanes also have similar products that may work for you too..

I just wear plain ol' cotton boxers

they work fine for me, and they wont have that 'pocket' area like the tighter boxers


http://www.walmart.com/ip/Hanes-Men-s-Assorted-Boxer-Shorts-6-Pack/7694781?sourceid=1500000000000003260430&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=7694781 (http://www.walmart.com/ip/Hanes-Men-s-Assorted-Boxer-Shorts-6-Pack/7694781?sourceid=1500000000000003260430&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=7694781)

Quote from: George on August 01, 2010, 09:40:40 PM
Good question. First what I really like is that they are much more comfortable. No need too pack into your underwear, also, no pinching when in tight trousers... Also, peeing is going much smoother and quicker. Disadvantage is that I have to wipe now (what I often forget), and I think big disadvantage will be going to public toilet. Also, esthetically they look much prettier... okay... I cannot be objective in that, but really, man's genitals are all but not pretty :( However, still I cannot see them as part of me emotionally... I am watching them every morning, but still... I feel like  I am looking into some nude lady. And my reaction is just normal reaction of a man (still a man!!!). It is strange, I know it is crazy in my situation, but... I nearly feel an erection when watching them :) I hope it will disappear with time, because it is just pervert to be turned on by yourself :(
One question about that... would I have to wear ladies underњear (panties)? Man's doesn't fit no more :(

Interesting. Never heard anybody mention the peeing bit.  :D

I could see where being attracted to that part of yourself in the way you describe would be disorienting. I would think that would only be natural given that you are still a man between your ears. It sounds like a good thing to bring up to a therapist if you have one.

I don't have one yet, so I can't speak to it directly, but I imagine the erection feeling is partly because your penis isn't gone, it is just reconfigured. That and your brain hasn't yet learned to process the new position of things.

As for underwear, as Kelly mentioned, you could buy the more masculine women's underwear. I've even seen some that look pretty much identical to men's except the cut is a bit more feminine and there is less material in front since it doesn't need to accommodate male genitals. That might be the way to go if you feel you would be embarrassed to have other men see obvious women's underwear when you drop them down in the men's room stall. I have two solutions to that last part too. It has been my experience that you can usually pull both pants and underwear down at one time and hide the underwear deep enough in the pants so as to avoid other men seeing it. Also, the handicap stalls are usually remote enough and large enough that nobody will be able to see anything unless they are determined to look inside.

Anyway, good luck and keep posting updates. It is very interesting to me to read about what is almost the exact opposite of my girl between the ears and boy between the legs situation.

Quote from: kelly_aus on August 01, 2010, 11:21:06 PM
Good to hear things are going OK.. I'd suggest that you have a look at some of the more everyday, cotton underwear.. Here in Australia, Bonds have quite a selection that fit well, and won't instantly scream PANTIES if they happen to peek out over the top of your trousers.. Maybe a boy leg short might work for you too.. Hanes also have similar products that may work for you too..

I bought few different pairs, and really those Hanes "Comfortflex boy short" are the very comfortable, and "women's cotton boy brief" are even better. Calvin Klein "cotton cheeky boyshorts" and "seamless hipster" also comfortable.But, in the moment, I found Hanes "women's wlassics cotton brief" the most comfortable to me, as I nee to wear ladies pad because of little bleeding after dilating. Btw, dilating is so hurting!

Quote from: George on August 05, 2010, 03:38:51 AM
I bought few different pairs, and really those Hanes "Comfortflex boy short" are the very comfortable, and "women's cotton boy brief" are even better. Calvin Klein "cotton cheeky boyshorts" and "seamless hipster" also comfortable.But, in the moment, I found Hanes "women's wlassics cotton brief" the most comfortable to me, as I nee to wear ladies pad because of little bleeding after dilating. Btw, dilating is so hurting!

Bleeding would alarm me. Have you mentioned it to your Dr.? You might want to take your dilating concerns over to the post-op forum as they have much more first hand experience over there.

George, I think you are an amazing man! If only more men could be so open and accepting, this world could be so much better for everyone. People in general need to really learn that everyone is more than the sum of their parts, and no matter how our parts are configured, we are all still human beings with dreams, goals, beliefs, feelings, and rights.

I hope you can find true happiness with the results of your situation. It seems to me you are well on your way, as long as you keep thinking positively!

Quote from: Melody on August 05, 2010, 09:47:37 AM
Bleeding would alarm me. Have you mentioned it to your Dr.? You might want to take your dilating concerns over to the post-op forum as they have much more first hand experience over there.

Of course, I talked with doctor and he told me that it may happen after first few dilating sesions, but to be careful not to go to deep at the beginning. It is not real bleeding, just few drops of blood, but enough to mess my panties. That's good idea to look at post-op forum, thanks.

George.

I have a question, if I may.

If you are not TS, why did you elect to have an SRS?  You could have had another option to have a "male" reconstruction.

Please explain, even if it is in a PM.

Of course! I already said in my introduction, but let me repeat. I got penile cancer, and total penectomy was recommended as "highest chance to survive" cure. I didn't like it, but this life is only one I have, so I had no other choice. So, I have to lose my male genitals in any case, so getting something in return sounded as better option. I had an option to get later phalloplasty and to get something what looks like a penis. But, it will not be functional, just sort of ugly appendage usable for nothing but peeing. So, I decided for second option, to have vaginoplasty and clitoris reconstruction (using my penis glans which was cancer free; my cancer was located in the penis root). So, that way, I got something functional. True it is far from what I originally had, but better than nothing.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on August 06, 2010, 11:51:00 PM
George.

I have a question, if I may.

If you are not TS, why did you elect to have an SRS?  You could have had another option to have a "male" reconstruction.

Please explain, even if it is in a PM.

---

Post Merge: August 08, 2010, 02:51:51 AM

---

Thanks April! It is nice to hear such compliments :) But really, what can i do after all what happen to me but been accepting? I have still to learn much about my body and to try my best to adjust too. For now, it is going, more or less, smoothly.
Just one question to those experienced. How long it will take to get my sex drive again? Or, it will never return completely?

Quote from: AprilDawn on August 05, 2010, 12:31:45 PM
George, I think you are an amazing man! If only more men could be so open and accepting, this world could be so much better for everyone. People in general need to really learn that everyone is more than the sum of their parts, and no matter how our parts are configured, we are all still human beings with dreams, goals, beliefs, feelings, and rights.

I hope you can find true happiness with the results of your situation. It seems to me you are well on your way, as long as you keep thinking positively!

Quote from: George on August 08, 2010, 02:48:55 AM
Of course! I already said in my introduction, but let me repeat. I got penile cancer, and total penectomy was recommended as "highest chance to survive" cure. I didn't like it, but this life is only one I have, so I had no other choice. So, I have to lose my male genitals in any case, so getting something in return sounded as better option. I had an option to get later phalloplasty and to get something what looks like a penis. But, it will not be functional, just sort of ugly appendage usable for nothing but peeing. So, I decided for second option, to have vaginoplasty and clitoris reconstruction (using my penis glans which was cancer free; my cancer was located in the penis root). So, that way, I got something functional. True it is far from what I originally had, but better than nothing.

I find your story truly fascinating George and I hope you always feel as you do now.  :)

I don't understand though when you say 'you've gotten something in return?' Is this the way your doctor described your SRS procedure or is it yours?

Could I also ask what country you reside in?  Were the other cancer patients who had same SRS procedure from your country or in another part of the world? Thanks.

Quote from: George on August 08, 2010, 02:48:55 AMJust one question to those experienced. How long it will take to get my sex drive again? Or, it will never return completely?

Your sex drive depends on your sex hormone levels. In case you had your testicles removed, you won't produce any of your own and need to get testosterone from the outside, but your doctor probably told you this.

Another aspect for the sex drive is the psychology. You are really in a weird situation, man. Having suddenly ended up with a vagina instead of a penis is the least thing one would ever expect to happen in one's life. This might also affect your sex drive, at least until it becomes more or less normal for you to have what you have now.

The third aspect may be the pain from the sex reassignment surgery, if you still have some pain of course this might turn you off.

I really wish that the cancer won't return and you get along with your new body part. You have a lot of courage, man.

Actually, my doctor recommended me two procedures, total penectomy (with much higher survival chances) and wide incision (what would save my penis, but inactive, and with lower chances to survive). Just when I chosen the first one, he told me that there is another "sub option" of the first procedure, what would me give something more, but maybe too unusual to cope with, so it is up to me. That is when he introduced what he call "modification of srs surgery", but really i think he didn't really believe i will chose it. I didn't believe tooo, and it sounded as completely crazy idea. To get vagina instead a penis for a man... doesn't sound as a good prospect. However, after long time (full week) of thinking and analyzing all the aspects together with my sister and my best friends, i found that it can be some benefit, or at least some interesting "entrance into new world". To have at least part of my penis (the most sensitive part) saved in form of clitoris would be some advantage. Also, to be completely frank, I already had prostatic (anal) orgasm and enjoy it, so to have better (cleaner) way to have it would not be bad. All in all it would not be worse than no be able to have any sex at all, at least? So, I finally decided to try that "unusual" procedure. did I made mistake? I still don't know!

I reside at Cyprus, but I had my surgery in England. Cyprus is too small country to get so complicate procedure like cancer surgery. So, our doctors usually send patients to Israel or England. As I know, my doctor had only two patients in his career who had similar procedure.

Quote from: Hermione01 on August 08, 2010, 03:42:30 AM
I find your story truly fascinating George and I hope you always feel as you do now.  :)

I don't understand though when you say 'you've gotten something in return?' Is this the way your doctor described your SRS procedure or is it yours?

Could I also ask what country you reside in?  Were the other cancer patients who had same SRS procedure from your country or in another part of the world? Thanks.

I think I would have chosen the same procedure If I were you. At least you saved your glans, and if you don't like the rest, you can still concentrate on your glans and ignore the rest.

Did they also build inner and outer labias?

Yes, they were removed, so I don't have any production of the testosterone at all. Even not such small amount produced by ovaries in women. Of course, my doc told me that, and he also did not recommend me to get any hormones before at least 3 weeks after surgery. Even then, he is not sure what level to fix... just because lack of testosterone is very good anti-cancer cure. Not very nice, but true :(

You are right it was great change... and, btw, I am sure I have that other part, psychological, of the sex drive. I enjoy watching pretty women, and not only that, there is somehting strange... my own "new parts" have interesting effect to my psychology. Maybe it is not so strange, because I am so new in all that... but, still, I do not feel that "parts" completley as mine, so when I see it, its effect is nearly like i've seen some nude woman hahaha

Yes, pain still exists, especially afetr dilating :( So, my doc told me that there will be no sex at least for 2-3 months after surgery. Is it right period?

Quote from: Fencesitter on August 08, 2010, 04:39:21 AM
Your sex drive depends on your sex hormone levels. In case you had your testicles removed, you won't produce any of your own and need to get testosterone from the outside, but your doctor probably told you this.

Another aspect for the sex drive is the psychology. You are really in a weird situation, man. Having suddenly ended up with a vagina instead of a penis is the least thing one would ever expect to happen in one's life. This might also affect your sex drive, at least until it becomes more or less normal for you to have what you have now.

The third aspect may be the pain from the sex reassignment surgery, if you still have some pain of course this might turn you off.

I really wish that the cancer won't return and you get along with your new body part. You have a lot of courage, man.

---

Post Merge: August 08, 2010, 05:08:03 AM

---

Yes, it was just that - it was saved! And I know I can feel it there. That was just what make me to decide, I always can ignore it! But if I have nothing, I even cannot ignore ;)

Yes, they make it quite realistic, but maybe with little smaller outer labia then normal... but it is just what I asked for. I didn't want to be a woman nor to look lie a woman, I just wanted sensitive genitals!

Quote from: Fencesitter on August 08, 2010, 05:00:10 AM
I think I would have chosen the same procedure If I were you. At least you saved your glans, and if you don't like the rest, you can still concentrate on your glans and ignore the rest.

Did they also build inner and outer labias?

So if no testosterone is a good anti-cancer cure, it might be good for you to keep it out of your system until it's clear you have no metastases. Sex drive is less important than survival, and the sex drive will probably come back again once you get testosterone.

I don't know about the dilatation period for your vagina, but you might ask the girls in the MTF sector of this forum, they will probably know (provided your new vagina is pretty much like a MTF vagina and not something completely different).

Quote from: George on August 08, 2010, 05:04:47 AMYou are right it was great change... and, btw, I am sure I have that other part, psychological, of the sex drive. I enjoy watching pretty women, and not only that, there is somehting strange... my own "new parts" have interesting effect to my psychology. Maybe it is not so strange, because I am so new in all that... but, still, I do not feel that "parts" completley as mine, so when I see it, its effect is nearly like i've seen some nude woman hahaha

It might well be that you will never completely adapt to your new genitals and feel like they are "yours". After all, you had SRS but you are a guy in your head, so it can cause you exactly the same amount of gender dysphoria trouble which we FTM transsexuals still have to deal with if we don't choose to go the whole way, but have already gotten our other body issues "fixed" (testosterone + chest + being rid of the uterus + ovaries). Which over time is still way better than if you had ended up in a completely female body where nothing fits your self-image, plus everybody treating you as a female and saying you are crazy if you say you are a guy and want to be treated as such.

But your situation may be easily as hard to deal with as the FTM situation if not worse. As it came to you so suddenly and unexpected instead of you growing slowly into gender not fitting sex, so no time to adapt to it mentally. Plus the danger of death by cancer... Really, I don't envy you.

You might start a thread in the FTM section of this forum and ask the transsexual guys who are in this late stage of transition how they cope with their vaginas, it might help you get some good advice. Some never really cope with having a vagina, others are pretty cool with it, and many are in-between. Altogether, I get along with my vagina though it's a weird mind-->-bleeped-<- and feels a bit like I'm trapped in a weird surrealistic Sci-Fi movie by David Lynch or David Cronenberg. Plus I need to trick my mind to get along with the vagina and to be able to enjoy sex. But those tricks work very well (in my case) and sex can be fabulous, so don't give up too early. As long as you don't have testosterone, it might be difficult for you to find out how far you can adapt to your new genitals as they will just serve for peeing and hurt while you dilate and almost nothing else with your sex drive being low.

About the female parts being a turn-on while feeling like they don't belong to you at the same time, I know exactly what you mean and my body had the same effect on me. Before transition, when I looked into the mirror, I often thought, well, that's not me, but this chick here is really hot. But this effect was really not strong enough for me to cope with what's "wrong" with my body forever. The combination of turn-on and "it does not belong to me" is a weird mind-->-bleeped-<- on its own. And the more time will go by the weaker this turn-on might also be for you as your new genitalia will become "normal" for you in a certain way. At least, the turn-on may help as a little consolation, and it's less awful if the genitals don't match than if nothing matches.

Maybe it is also a little consolation for you that you are/will be one of the few people who can really understand transsexuals. At least, you experience some of the same things which trans people do.

You might also try to contact FTMs and MTFs in your area to meet them directly, this might help you.

Meaning of mind-->-bleeped-<-: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mind->-bleeped-<- (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mind-%3E-bleeped-%3C-)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgallery.burrowowl.net%2Findex.php%3Fq%3D%2Fimage%2F22349.png&hash=3d7899fee9720933f4d0346a6eea4d9896c3a901)

So let me get this straight, a full grown, cisgendered man had some cancer in his penis, so he had to cut it off. His doctors suggested getting GRS, to which he agreed, despite him being a man perfectly happy with himself as a man.

First, what the hell kind of doctor suggests that? To get GRS as a transwoman[/i], you must go through some extreme hurdles, and yet he suggests that to a perfectly normal man? Who would do that? Where the hell do you live?

Also, I wouldn't think that a guy that didn't feel at least slightly transgendered would consider that his best option. I really don't feel we're getting the entire story. Coming on to susans and stating how much of a man you are sounds like denial, possibly regret, or perhaps a longing for someone to relate to to me, for a few possibilities. Possibly a troll.