I ask, because last year at Cornwall Pride I decided to go in M&S to pass some time. I found a shirt i liked and made my way to the mens changing area having been pointed that way by one helpful staff member. I came out ready to purchase my shirt and another older woman who worked there asked me not to go into the mens changing room again as it was for men only and it was against policy to let anyone else use it. Then she made some quip about i know its gay pride but its against our rules!
I felt like a freak! And very insulted.
Anyone else ever had this problem?
I've gotten odd looks going into the women's changing, as I pass quite well. I've even come out of the actual female cubicle and still been thought cismale...
I've never tried going into the man's...if I'd had trouble with that older woman I would have said to her 'excuse me, but I'm male...I find your comment very insulting, as I'm not gay. I'm sure if you have a real problem we can take that to your manager next time...'
From what I've experienced, people back off if you so much as mention going over their head.
Quote from: akitokitoast on July 15, 2011, 05:15:55 PM
I've gotten odd looks going into the women's changing, as I pass quite well. I've even come out of the actual female cubicle and still been thought cismale...
I've never tried going into the man's...if I'd had trouble with that older woman I would have said to her 'excuse me, but I'm male...I find your comment very insulting, as I'm not gay. I'm sure if you have a real problem we can take that to your manager next time...'
From what I've experienced, people back off if you so much as mention going over their head.
they do indeed , and what you said is pretty much a zapper , and fairly polite, most retail stores management wont hassle you they just want your money and thats a pretty soild green, maybe she was jelous ?
I would have looked at her and said ... need to drop my drawers and show you my dick???? Confidence dude .. confidence ... you have nothing to be ashamed of --- you have a birth defect and you can't help it
Have you checked the laws regarding segregated dressing rooms/bathrooms/etc in your area? It's possible that it's illegal to keep people out based on birth sex.
Nope. I mean, at Walmart once the Guardian of Dressingrooms (as I call them) lead me to once of the women's cubicles, despite my carrying typically male clothing (and I figured I passed well enough). I didn't really care all that much, I don't even understand why they're separate, seeing as it's not a walk-in room with little cubicles. Just two opposite walls with cubicles attached.
I didn't correct her or anything. XD Wasn't getting hassled, so I didn't care. The next time it happens, I'll just say something like, "Oh, that's new. Haven't been in the women's dressing rooms since I was a little boy! 8D"
But if people try and correct me with bathrooms or dressing rooms, I'll just tell them I'm a guy and laugh it off. Walmart and JC Penney's are the only stores in my town with gendered dressing rooms, though.
That lady was very rude, though. Should've told her you would use the women's, but it makes your penis uncomfortable. XD Or just, "I'm a guy. o_o."
Thanks for the replies. Has i had already tried the shirt on at that point i couldn't be bothered making a scene. She really annoyed me though! I couldn't get out of there fast enough!
I've not been out as a female enough to have that experience but I have tried on (and bought) women's clothes while shopping as a male. Nothing to femme but like shorts and pants. I get some looks taking women's clothes into the men's changing rooms but no one has said anything. Rachael
Never any problems... I first (as in, first time in my life) shopped for women's clothing two weeks after I went full time and found dressing rooms to be beautiful safe havens. It took about another two weeks before I was able to shop alone, but after four months, I've still never had an issue with dressing rooms.
Of course, not wanting to do anything halfway, my first solo shopping excursion was to Victoria's Secret. :laugh: No pressure or anything! But when I told the girl I was trans, hadn't owned a bra in my entire life, and needed to be measured, she gave me this shocked look and said she couldn't tell. That gave me all the confidence I needed to shop anywhere and everywhere.
I was in boy clothes last weekend asked to try on a dress. The assistant opened the change door for me and came back after afew minutes and asked if I was OK. Told her it was too small and she came back with the next size up. The she wanted to see me in it and said it looked great but I neded black leggings with abd she went and got them as well.
She made a sale :laugh:
Cindy
nobody ever told me it's wrong for a woman to use the men's changing room. maybe because we don't care as much about an occasional woman in the wrong place here in norway. i've even taken women's clothes to the men's changing room simply because that was closer
but i might think twice before using the women's changing room if i actually happened to be passing as a guy. unless i were shopping for women's clothes, then i wouldn't care
and if anyone commented on me being in the wrong place i'd simply tell them i could just as well go shopping somewhere else if they can't give me any better service than that
Dude! That is very frustrating and disrespectful! I have not run into such problems before exactly. I was with my mom picking out clothes and she told me to use the women's. So I kinda wandered over, confused and such (I didn't have my glasses so I couldn't see far very well to know where things are). I circled around and said to the attendant I found, "This is the fitting area, yeah?" to which the person replied that the men's was 'over there'. I put on a half-faked surprise face and looked over in the direction he pointed and thanked him promptly. I later had to explain to my mom when I wanted to try on stuff again that it's "weirder" if I use the women's because I look like a guy. I put that down as a personal win in my book; ya gotta celebrate those small things, ya know?
Quote from: Cindy James on July 17, 2011, 01:57:44 AM
I was in boy clothes last weekend asked to try on a dress. The assistant opened the change door for me and came back after afew minutes and asked if I was OK. Told her it was too small and she came back with the next size up. The she wanted to see me in it and said it looked great but I neded black leggings with abd she went and got them as well.
She made a sale :laugh:
Cindy
That sounds like a cool experience. It made me smile.
Story:
Today, my mom came with me into the JC Penney's men's dressing room because they were closing soon and I had to show her how these two shirts looked on me. Two employees saw her come in with me, and there's no real way to mistake my mom as male.
The only person who cared was the "alarm" above the door that goes off when you make any sudden movements near it.
Nope, but the stores I tend to go to are pretty open.
Here in Colorado, it is black letter law.
Rule 81.2 - Sexual Orientation Definitions
(A) The term "sexual orientation," as defined in the Law, means a person's orientation toward heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, transgender status or another person's perception thereof.
(B) The term "transgender" means having a gender identity or gender expression that differs from societal expectations based on gender assigned at birth.
(C) The term "gender identity" means an innate sense of one's own gender.
(D) The term "gender expression" means external appearance, characteristics or behaviors typically associated with a specific gender.
(E) The term "covered entity" means any person, business, or institution required to comply with the antidiscrimination provisions of the Law.
Rule 81.11 - Gender-Segregated Facilities
(A) Nothing in the Act prohibits segregation of facilities on the basis of gender.
(B) All covered entities shall allow individuals the use of gender-segregated facilities that are consistent with their gender identity. Gender-segregated facilities include, but are not limited to, restrooms, locker rooms, dressing rooms, and dormitories.
So no.
Quote from: Silas on July 28, 2011, 10:41:58 PM
The only person who cared was the "alarm" above the door that goes off when you make any sudden movements near it.
Yeah, the first time I went into the dressing room at Penny's, that alarm scared the crap out of me, until I saw it went off whenever anybody came in.
Quote from: GinaDouglas on July 30, 2011, 12:18:02 AM
Here in Colorado, it is black letter law.
Just one reason I love living there... ;D I'd say "here" but I'm still in Illinois and won't be home until tomorrow. So can't wait!
I love Colorado. Especially now that there is a push to put a measure on the ballot to reverse the ban on same-sex marriage here, which can only help transpeople as well, regardless of apparent or actual orientation. As it is, it's unclear how to define (under law) a marriage involving a transgender spouse.
Colorado; being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. :D
Ive never had a problem with staff or customers in the changing rooms but im very tall and some stall doors are not, meaning i feel rather exposed sometimes!!!!!
Quote from: El on July 30, 2011, 04:38:27 AM
Ive never had a problem with staff or customers in the changing rooms but im very tall and some stall doors are not, meaning i feel rather exposed sometimes!!!!!
Like in TJ Maxx...? :laugh: I'm 5'11" and even I have to squat when I'm trying on shirts there. I guess one way to keep clothing costs down is not budgeting for changing room doors that can accommodate women over 5'5".
I was just thinking about this today too. I haven't shopped for clothes in years, but I'm going to the mall with friends today. I guess I'll just see what happens.
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on July 30, 2011, 06:42:14 AM
Like in TJ Maxx...? :laugh: I'm 5'11" and even I have to squat when I'm trying on shirts there. I guess one way to keep clothing costs down is not budgeting for changing room doors that can accommodate women over 5'5".
lol actually TK maxx (the european version of TJ Maxx) was the shop i had in mind when i wrote that XD
Not quite what's being discussed here, but... there's one young men's clothing chain here that I am wary about shopping in. When I was younger, I went in and went to try on a jumper and was told I wasn't allowed as the changing rooms were for men only. There was no separate female changing rooms — in fact, unisex changing rooms are the norm here.
I wasn't trying to pass at all, so I didn't say "But I am a man!" or anything. I live in a different city now, so perhaps I'd have more luck these days and/or it isn't a nationwide policy. Even so, it puts me off shopping there! All the staff were women, and they were allowed in the changing rooms, so why only male customers? I know it's a men's clothing shop, but they sell some fairly unisex clothing... ??? I don't see why it was such a big deal.
Quote from: Silas on July 28, 2011, 10:41:58 PM
Story:
Today, my mom came with me into the JC Penney's men's dressing room because they were closing soon and I had to show her how these two shirts looked on me. Two employees saw her come in with me, and there's no real way to mistake my mom as male.
The only person who cared was the "alarm" above the door that goes off when you make any sudden movements near it.
I work at Jc Penneys and we really do not mind whoever uses what dressing rooms since all of our doors are full enclosure doors.
The only time we may have an issue is if someone is presented male and brings a lot of swimsuits or lingerie into the fitting room. I wont go into detail but we have busted quite a few people "doing things" with those type of clothing. It happens more often than not. Since February, security asked people to leave on 11 separate occasions because of ruining the clothing. So, this may be where some employers may have some hesitation with opposite gender presentation fitting rooms.
Other than that, we let anyone use whatever fitting rooms.
My personal opinion on the matter is this: If you are presenting male (regardless of your gender identification) then go to the men's fitting rooms. If you are presenting female (regardless of your gender identification) then go to the women's fitting room. i use the same logic for bathrooms and I haven't run into any troubles whatsoever.
I am hesitant to ask, but morbid curiousity overwhelms me.
How do you catch the ones who ruin clothes?
However they do it, it has a high 'ewwww' factor. Let it be.
As for fitting rooms so far no problem. AT work it is a different story. I was told when I come out MTF that I would still have to dress with the boys and could not use the female locker room or restroom. I am working on trying to change this.
I'm thinking the only way would be to go into the next fitting room and listen.
And really, it's a serious sex crime. They let them walk? Until they start doing it in places even more public, or a little kid walks in on it? Hmmmm.
Quote from: GinaDouglas on August 02, 2011, 08:56:18 PM
I'm thinking the only way would be to go into the next fitting room and listen.
And really, it's a serious sex crime. They let them walk? Until they start doing it in places even more public, or a little kid walks in on it? Hmmmm.
As far as I can recall, its only a crime if you have a reasonable expectation that someone would actually see you doing anything. On the other hand, JC Penney has the right to remove anyone from their property at any time, for any reason. I'm not even sure how "a little kid" would "walk in on 'it'", but there again is the "accidental" exclusion.
Icky? Yes. Sex Crime? That's stretching it a bit...
Quote from: GinaDouglas on August 02, 2011, 08:56:18 PM
I'm thinking the only way would be to go into the next fitting room and listen.
And really, it's a serious sex crime. They let them walk? Until they start doing it in places even more public, or a little kid walks in on it? Hmmmm.
We have security escort them to the doors of the store. From what I understand, they are force to pay for the clothes they ruin or they may face charges. But when it comes to sex or anything else sexual in the fitting rooms, the store does not usually press charges because are doors are full private doors with locks. We have not had one child walk in on something like that. It is usually reported because the "noise" some of the people make.
I hope I do not have a problem. I am going shopping for female clothes for the first time this month. I forsee one problem I will be going presenting as a man since I have no nice clothes to wear there.
I never had a problem in a store, but I have a friend who went into a Macys and wanted to try on a dress, she was told by the clerk they wouldn't let her, she asked to talk to a supervisor and she was told it was company policy not to let men into the womens changing room.
usually Macys has a better track policy for fitting rooms (except the peeping tom thing).....but like I always tell transgender people....if you wanna try on clothes you may want to go into the store with that gender presentation that matches the gender of clothing you want try on. Same with Bathrooms.
I would think the last thing they want to do is piss off a paying customer. Spend enough money and they'll let you do just about anything in the store you want (with in reason). As for the risk of offending a cisgendered woman, it's not worth it. If you're "borderline" they're going to err on the side of caution. As long as you hold your head up and don't act suspicious (and yes nervous counts), I can't imagine they'd risk losing your hard earned money - especially given the economy.
Quote from: Annah on August 02, 2011, 03:35:57 AM
The only time we may have an issue is if someone is presented male and brings a lot of swimsuits or lingerie into the fitting room. I wont go into detail but we have busted quite a few people "doing things" with those type of clothing. It happens more often than not. Since February, security asked people to leave on 11 separate occasions because of ruining the clothing. So, this may be where some employers may have some hesitation with opposite gender presentation fitting rooms.
Ew, people use the clothes
IN THE STORE?! D8 And then try to leave?! WTFFFF. I think there's laws against that? I have no idea. Ick.
Little-little kids I've always seen go in with parents and such. And since it's full-enclosure I can't see how they'd "see" anything, unless someone's making too many noises, or they just left the ruined clothes around. Even then, I can't see them knowing what it is. Still squicky, though.
Well, I went to Matalan today to get some new trousers and a shirt...
I was kinda nervous but I just walked up to the men's changing, the attendant lady was just all 'here's your number!' and I tried the clothes on and stuff in there. I was kind of paranoid mabout someone seeing my binder through the gap between the curtain and the wall, but lets be honest, who's gonna intentionally look?
I went in there three times to try on various things and had no problem whatsoever - no weird looks or comments or anything! It felt good.
First time in men's changing room = good
So next on the agenda is mustering the courage to use the men's bathroom...right now I just kinda hold.
I was directed to the men's fitting room yesterday. Just thought I'd share the joy. :)
Quote from: Lee on August 12, 2011, 05:17:12 PM
I was directed to the men's fitting room yesterday. Just thought I'd share the joy. :)
YAY!!!
Quote from: Lee on August 12, 2011, 05:17:12 PM
I was directed to the men's fitting room yesterday. Just thought I'd share the joy. :)
That's awesome!! ;D
I always fear this, haven't had a problem yet. I have used the men's and womens fitting rooms to try things on. If there is no fitting room attendant that makes it easier. But if im just trying on jeans there is nothing wrong with men wearing women's jeans or t shirts, its actually a teen fashion trend (or was). But they never check what items i have just how many.
I used to. Then I always went with another woman for a while and had no more issues. In fact that was always a help by receiving honest advice on some clothes before making a potentially unwise purchase!
Now I can go myself but I do tend to order more online than ever. But is it still nice to shop with another woman and maybe also go to a meal too.
Chrissy
When going out and about as a MTF, a good rule is "safety in numbers"
Having a supportive female friend along while shopping in the women's
sections of stores and using the changing rooms and even the rest rooms
is a good idea.... particularly if not reliably passing.
HUGS, DanielleQuote from: ChrissyRyan on September 05, 2024, 01:48:33 PMI used to. Then I always went with another woman for a while and had no more issues. In fact that was always a help by receiving honest advice on some clothes before making a potentially unwise purchase!
Now I can go myself but I do tend to order more online than ever. But is it still nice to shop with another woman and maybe also go to a meal too.
Chrissy
Had it once and it was with a pervert. I was trying on a dress noticed a probe from a camera come through the bottom of the front door. The guy whom did it got his butt kicked.Two of the customers were off duty cops and wrestled him to the ground.Held him until the cops came arresting him.I bought the dress and he got 10 years in prison plus having to register as a sex offender after he got out