Hey guys, so normally I try to avoid negativity but I know throughout the boards I occasionally see people frustrated about something they can't/choose not to wear or do & to still "pass". So I thought maybe a thread to vent about the little things that you don't think are worth a new thread might be cool. Any other situations that don't fit into that scenario are cool too. Then follow it up with anything positive about your day, your life, anything really.
I might have also created this to vent my annoyance too >:-)
So here goes- I choose not to shave my head even though I love having it shaved because it kills my passing rate by more than half the tradeoff of loving my hair not equal to the uncomfortableness of not passing.
The positive aspect? Between losing weight and T I think I might be able to pass with a shaved head in the next year :)
Just doing a mental search of people with shaved heads, I think the shaved head look usually works better with a goat-tee to balance it out. T will help with that.
As for my rant, I would like the option of being able to transition and go back into the Army. I had many complaints about the Army itself, but I really liked my job and if I were to go to a job in the same field here in the outside world, I'd have to start at the bottom.
Cool, I like the idea. Oddly, mine is a hair thing too:
I would really, really like to cut my hair back to my jawline or above, but my jaw is still too sharp to do it. So I'm stuck with an inch or two longer than that unless I want to look awful which means my hair is forever getting in my face and trying to convince me to eat it. However, if I can gain 10 pounds my jaw might soften enough that I can do as I like with the hair. Fingers crossed!
Give birth. :( :( :( :( :(
Dress femmy. I always wanted to be that boy who wore lip gloss and nail polish. :/
Quote from: Sarah7 on September 15, 2011, 10:52:11 PM
which means my hair is forever getting in my face and trying to convince me to eat it.
Bangs aren't just for aesthetics. My hair goes 6-8 inches down past my shoulders. I was always having that problem till I trimmed in some bangs. They give me a more feminine look and are very effective in keeping my hair out of my face, not perfect but it's rare instead of common now.
Idk if this fits here, but-
I feel like I can't act 'natural'. My body language is VERY feminine and sexual, even when I'm around someone I can't stand. When I try to be aware of it and change it, it only makes me look more awkward. x_x
Quote from: Renee_ on September 15, 2011, 11:13:17 PM
Bangs aren't just for aesthetics. My hair goes 6-8 inches down past my shoulders. I was always having that problem till I trimmed in some bangs. They give me a more feminine look and are very effective in keeping my hair out of my face, not perfect but it's rare instead of common now.
Thanks for the advice. :) It's something I've considered, and I'll probably do it if I end up stuck with hair this long.
I can't say a word when I use any public bathroom without freaking out because I don't have the voice down. And I'm pre-everything so I won't be able to go swimming or use dorm showers or locker rooms for a long time. T_T
Quote from: Lily on September 15, 2011, 11:01:01 PM
Give birth. :( :( :( :( :(
That's hardly "little", but true all the same :(.
Spreading my legs in public. It's so uncomfortable to keep them so close together all the time, and it just looks so un-feminine! Heck, even cis-women can't do that, but at least they feel comfortable having their legs close together...I think...I need more female friends so I can get answers to questions like that >_>.
Going swimming in public - I feel like I won't be able to do that again until I get "debulged", and I love swimming.
I cannot fight in a war because everyone is bigger, stronger and faster than me...
I'm tired of having to tuck every single day. It's a pain to have to go through. And unless I'm using duct tape, I have to wear certain clothes that will sort of hide that area.
The positive..I will have SRS, hopefully within the next 1-2 years. Then I'll be able to wear whatever I want including a bikini for swimming. Oh, and I'd love to be able to wear a thong, hehe. That may have been TMI. :P
I don't mean to offend anyone with this statement but it's interesting to see how similar in some ways our troubles are even with being opposite genders. The females not able to swim due to their lower half, the males unable to swim because of their upper half. I can remove this comment if it offends anyone.
I'd love to respond to everyone but this is quite a busy thread already. I'm glad it has been of use to some :)
Quote from: Futura on September 16, 2011, 07:32:06 AM
I cannot fight in a war because everyone is bigger, stronger and faster than me...
Having been there and done that multiple times, unless you are a full-on dwarf, you can go to war.
Audie Murphy was only 5'5".
Quote from: xAndrewx on September 16, 2011, 08:21:31 AM
I don't mean to offend anyone with this statement but it's interesting to see how similar in some ways our troubles are even with being opposite genders. The females not able to swim due to their lower half, the males unable to swim because of their upper half. I can remove this comment if it offends anyone.
I'd love to respond to everyone but this is quite a busy thread already. I'm glad it has been of use to some :)
That was not offensive at all. It's the complete truth. And yes, great topic!
Quote from: xAndrewx on September 16, 2011, 08:21:31 AM
I don't mean to offend anyone with this statement but it's interesting to see how similar in some ways our troubles are even with being opposite genders. The females not able to swim due to their lower half, the males unable to swim because of their upper half. I can remove this comment if it offends anyone.
Certainly no offence here - I know the day my friend first went to a public pool with his top off, post-top surgery, was the happiest day of his life :D.
Not being able to go to the beach or swim, totally.
One little thing that bothers me right now is having to avoid guys in cis clubs when I go out. They obviously want a cis girl, and even if they don't realise I'm TG at first, I feel if I make out with them they would easily find out. Heck, all it takes is a bit of pressure in between my legs and he would notice something is not quite right.
So, not being able to go on proper dates at the moment annoys me.
On another hand... I want to say I'm actually enjoying being TG because I absolutely love the good moments.
Thought I'd pop in on this thread.
I hate not being able to swim in public - or walk around in summer topless. It annoys the heck out of me and hugely triggers my dysphoria when I go to the beach with my dog and all those college boys are out in the water. I wanna go!
The positive? I may have finally found a therapist, so maybe I can start T sometime in the nearish future. :) yay!
move to a new state be homeless and be safe
I was just thinking about this earlier today. I have been wanting to join a club or organization at my university, so I can meet people and put something on my resume. Every club on the list was either something in which I have absolutely no interest, or is something that would be difficult to participate in since I'm pre-T and trans. Then I noticed a flyer for a study abroad program in Spain for next summer, and realized that I won't be able to change my legal name or start T before then, and I don't want to travel while my gender appears to be in limbo.
Also, I hate binding, and I wish I could go swimming. And I'm apathetic about dating because I know I'll have to out myself, and gay cis guys usually aren't interested in trans guys.
Peeing at the urinal. Pre-surgery, it wouldn't matter how well you passed. I have strong doubts an STP device would go unnoticed.
Haven't been swimming in years. Miss it. But being forced into the female changing areas, and then into female swimming gear, is an absolute nightmare.
I wanna join the army. :icon_sad:
Like most people here i'd love to be able to go swimming but even though i'm still male I couldn't go into a mens changing room without feeling like a fraud & a pervert.
Swimming would be great for my asthma but i'll have to wait a few years before I can take the plunge.
I also hate seeing attractive men as i'm constantly afraid that they'll notice how i'm looking at them & take offence.
This isn't a little thing & it's tearing me apart right now. I can't keep my dog because I can't afford a big enough place with the upcoming costs of elecrolysis, travel to appointments in London & a new wardrobe.
In exacly 2 weeks he's going to my ex girlfriend when I move to a shared house, i'll still be able to visit him whenever I want but it wont be the same going to bed each night with him taking up 3/4 of the bed whilst I hang on to the edge.
Here's some pictures of my dog on my facebook profile http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.145458425493142.17809.100000869560195&l=7bba9fb6c2&type=1 (http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.145458425493142.17809.100000869560195&l=7bba9fb6c2&type=1)
I don't know what my security settings are for photos being viewed so if you need to send a friend request to view them then please include a message saying that you are from this forum, I tend to ignore friend requests from people I dont know.
Swimming is a big one for me too.
I *never* took my shirt off when I swam, I never felt comfortable going bare chested. I would come up with these elaborate plans whereby I could keep my clothes on and swim without drawing much attention. The most successful one would be to sit by the pool with my feet in the water and wait for my friend to sneak up and push me in (which he loved to do) and then I'd say "oh no, my clothes are all wet... well since they're wet no point in taking them off now."
Lily, I covered my discomfort with stripping off as a child by saying that I didn't like people seeing my excema.
I avoided the problem of changing for school sports by having my parents write a note excusing me from all PE lessons due to exercise aggravating my skin, whilst others were running around sweating I would pass the time with my head in a book.
Being able to walk around the house topless. Or sit at my laptop (the window looks into those across the road), let alone walk down the street like that :( Damn house-mates/goldfish bowl of a house.
Also, peeing in the gents is still a bit of a problem. Work's fine, but when out with a friend recently, I came across the lack of lock on door - or just no door - for the first time. Was a harsh reminder to practice with the Peecock, or at least remember the Snee-kee next time :-\
Oh yes, and wearing form-fitting shirts. I love them, but until I get the twin peaks flattened, I have to hide in baggy shirts.
1. Not being able to produce sperm
2. Not being able to get who I want
3. Not being able to walk around shirtless. It kills me when cis guys walk around without their shirts on.
4. Not being able to use a urinal.
5. Not being able to join the army and be in special forces
6. Not being called "he" 98% of the time.
A couple of armies (e.g. British, Canadian) let you join if you're trans. I strongly hope that more armies will adopt this attitude in the future.
AFAIK, you need to fulfil the eligibility requirements of your gender, e.g. FTM must fulfil the male requirements.
Quote from: blake on September 18, 2011, 10:52:41 AM
A couple of armies (e.g. British, Canadian) let you join if you're trans. I strongly hope that more armies will adopt this attitude in the future.
AFAIK, you need to fulfil the eligibility requirements of your gender, e.g. FTM must fulfil the male requirements.
That's interesting. I never knew that. I'm going to be a half Canadian citizen soon so that means I could actually enlist haha you just kinda made my day! ;D
Quote from: Jasper on September 18, 2011, 11:32:17 AM
That's interesting. I never knew that. I'm going to be a half Canadian citizen soon so that means I could actually enlist haha you just kinda made my day! ;D
Which half are you nationalizing?
Er... I couldn't resist. :eusa_silenced:
But on the topic at hand, the biggest one for me is dating. Sure wish I could find someone and date, but I'm way too upset about my body. And I could never get close to anyone with the parts I still (unfortunately) have.
I miss swimming a lot, ever since puberty started swimming became a no-no for me. Things will improve once surgery its done for sure (and once I lost a LOT of weight)
Quote from: Jasper on September 18, 2011, 11:32:17 AM
That's interesting. I never knew that. I'm going to be a half Canadian citizen soon so that means I could actually enlist haha you just kinda made my day! ;D
Here's the information if you're interested:
http://blogout.justout.com/?p=25100 (http://blogout.justout.com/?p=25100)
It made my day, and I ain't even Canadian!
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on September 18, 2011, 11:54:39 AM
Which half are you nationalizing?
Er... I couldn't resist. :eusa_silenced:
But on the topic at hand, the biggest one for me is dating. Sure wish I could find someone and date, but I'm way too upset about my body. And I could never get close to anyone with the parts I still (unfortunately) have.
I'm becoming partially Canadian. I'm from the US.
I like the new avatar, btw. :)
@Blake: Thanks!
Quote from: blake on September 18, 2011, 03:53:29 PM
Looking back at the original post, I realise I forgot to mention a positive thing about my situation.
Whoops, knew I forgot something :embarrassed:
Positive aspects of transitioning? Confidence. Even without the other surgeries, I feel so much more able to stand up for myself, go out etc. - I even have a social life these days! That never happened before!