so, i was thinking more about my genitals. for the most part, i'm indifferent to what i have between my legs, even though it's male genitals. i do sit down to urinate. i've been doing that for years now. i think i have some form of dysphoria about my genitals, but it doesn't affect my daily living by any means. is anyone else the same way?
My situation is similar for the most part. I have a set of homemade gaffs, so the only time my "eyesore" is anything but virtually nonexistent is for various functions, where it's most often ignored. I see how it can be a huge source of dysphoria for others, but I'm honestly more affected by more conspicuous things like my voice and facial hair.
Quote from: Amaranth on September 17, 2011, 07:29:07 PM
My situation is similar for the most part. I have a set of homemade gaffs, so the only time my "eyesore" is anything but virtually nonexistent is for various functions, where it's most often ignored. I see how it can be a huge source of dysphoria for others, but I'm honestly more affected by more conspicuous things like my voice and facial hair.
unlike most of society, i don't believe in a penis being one's "manhood." i just think of it as genitals. then there's women who believe their breasts are a symbol of their "womanhood," which i don't believe either.
Yeah, I'm more concerned about my shoulder-to-hip ratio.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on September 17, 2011, 07:39:56 PM
Yeah, I'm more concerned about my shoulder-to-hip ratio.
that should balance out with enough time on hrt.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on September 17, 2011, 07:39:56 PM
Yeah, I'm more concerned about my shoulder-to-hip ratio.
Same here...I've been thinking about getting a waist cincher and/or hip pads to make my body more passable until I can start HRT.
I feel the same way pretty much. I tuck (nothing "serious" like duct tape..) it away and don't think about it. Actually don't think about it much anyway, it's just sorta in the way. After being on HRT for a bit there isn't a lot left to hide and never really was anyway. Even like in the shower I've never been -omg I don't wanna touch it- but I can understand some people are. For me my face, voice and developing my style are much more important. Honestly right now the only thing that would prompt me to get GRS would be for legal status. I hope this stuff changes so I don't end up having to get surgery just to deal with that. Like I said, I understand some people REALLY hate that part of themselves and I feel for them. I'm glad I don't have that problem, I just have other parts of myself I hated that I had to fix.
I'm fairly ambivalent about my genitals.. I get up, shower, get dressed and tuck them away in the process.. I deal with them as needed.. But I do want them gone..
I dislike my genitals. Rather, I have copious amounts of hate for my genitalia. However, I have come to terms with them, knowing that while they're there, it is only temporary and they will soon be corrected to appear as the proper genitalia. It's that fact that keeps sane.
I would rather not have my male parts if I would have a choice. Many , many years ago I used to imagine that I would be like a girl. Today I just try to deal with it.
Samantha
I'm semi-indifferent to them.
They only bother me when I am in a situation where they have to be visible to me, like during intimacy, or the shower. Out of sight, out of mind, really. HRT seems to be making my genitals smaller and less of an issue over time, so that's a help.
I have confidence that I'll have SRS one day. I'm nowhere near financially ready, but I'm optimistic.
Hopefully this optimism continues. ;)
the nightmare will end one day with srs, its something to look forward to, but the day-to-day endurance of it wears me down, just being wrongly configured for the most basic functions of life is a grind and one I can't wait to be done with.
I feel like the odd-man-out, I don't hate my junk at all. My genitals work, and brink pleasure to both me and my partner.
Would I get GRS? Yes, but not with things the way they are, now. I'd much rather wait until Buccal cells can be grafted and performed on a regular basis. Or until a rat can grow a vajayjay on its back like an ear. In fact, I'd pay good money just to see that, alone....
Sorry to be a freak. *shrug
I'm not at odds with mine either, they just seem irrelevant, or like a placeholder :). At some point soon, I'll get them turned inside out, and then I can start growing potatoes :). But for now, me and my girlfriend enjoy what's there (and my imagination fills in the "gap").
Sure, I'm missing what I'm, er, missing... but I'm very firmly headed in the direction of sorting that out, so I'm enjoying the journey meanwhile.
I have no issues with my genitals. I'm a chick with a penis... But recently I've had men telll me, "I'd bonk you if you had a vagina" or "if you had srs, I'd marry you in a second". Of course, these men love vagina but don't want children.
But my gender identity was *never* about the genitals. To me, it is assuming another form of style...yes, I relate more to females and consider myself one. But getting srs won't fix the problem.
I hate the fact that I can't have children by natural means. The fact that I can never hold a child of my creation and look into her as a part of me. After carrying her for 9 months. I certainly miss that part of me, that has always been present...I've always been maternal.
So that being said, I have no problem with my boy parts. I've opted for no srs...But I wish I could produce a child...someway...somehow.
Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 03:45:25 AM
Everyone always talks about what they've got at the moment. Isn't anyone bothered about what they haven't got, about what they are missing? I don't really care what's there that much. If I had nothing there it would be just as bad. What bothers me is not the skin tag, but the lack of proper female parts.
i just can't understand you there. i'm not one into material possessions. i don't want something just for the fact of owning it. i want something if it will do something for me. what i have between my legs is always covered with clothing unless i'm urinating/showering, which no one sees except myself. i don't notice my male genitalia otherwise, and i don't think much of it in the situations i do notice it. i would like to be able to have sex with a male with female genitals, and i would like to feel like i've put the cherry on top of the sundae, and completed my journey. other than that, i'm able to live in my social gender, and feel more female from the hormones. the vulva is a just a cherry on top of the sundae to me, no pun intended.
I kind of feel the same way. While I want the correct equipment, for now I can usually put my genitals out of mind. What is or isn't there is rarely on my mind when not in use. My overall physique, my skin, face, facial hair, and skeletal structure all bother me a lot more on a regular basis.
Quote from: FullMoon19 on September 18, 2011, 02:32:59 PM
i just can't understand you there. i'm not one into material possessions.
Unless you have this hatred for your birth genitals, you can't understand how they feel. I had a lesser hatred of my nose, which is why FFS was at the top of my list of things to fix. Every time I saw a picture of myself or looked in a mirror I cringed. I can see how if someone felt this way about their genitals, they would HAVE to do something about it. Clearly some of us don't feel this way so don't have this same strong desire to do something about it.
Quote from: Stephe on September 18, 2011, 06:00:55 PM
Unless you have this hatred for your birth genitals, you can't understand how they feel. I had a lesser hatred of my nose, which is why FFS was at the top of my list of things to fix. Every time I saw a picture of myself or looked in a mirror I cringed. I can see how if someone felt this way about their genitals, they would HAVE to do something about it. Clearly some of us don't feel this way so don't have this same strong desire to do something about it.
the way Sarah7 phrased it didn't come off to me like that. she said "Isn't anyone bothered about what they haven't got, what they are missing?" that would imply desiring something as a material possession which sounds like the wrong reasons to me.
Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 10:33:47 PM
I can't imagine thinking it was just "the cherry on top." The idea is entirely foreign to me. If surgery wasn't available to correct the birth defect, I wouldn't have transitioned.
And for people such as myself, I transitioned knowing that in all likelihood I medically might never be able to "fix" what's in my pants. I NEEDED to transition socially not that I transitioned to be able to get GRS.
I do totally understand your point about it's more about what's not there than hating what is there. Makes sense.
I NEEDED FFS to make me feel at home with myself. I honestly feel like my GID is gone now. I hear about TS's having GRS before they have FFS or other stuff to really look more female and I can't fathom that. I'm thinking "What's the point in changing something very few people would ever see and not doing the things everyone will see including yourself on a daily basis?" You said you are mapped to have a vagina and it's f'd up that you don't. For me I feel I am a woman but to look in the mirror and see a guy looking back at me f's me up.
I could live without GRS but it would be nice to have. Honestly, mostly I would like to legally be female which is the wrong reason to do this. I'm not holding my breath that the religious right would ever allow someone like myself to be legally female without surgery... The whole "you're doing this so you can have a gay marriage.." I honestly would be fine if they left the requirement for GRS to marry a man, just let me legally be female in all the other respects.
Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 11:11:24 PM
I don't want to risk the endless ID debate eating this thread. But let me at least express my sympathy that you have no accommodations where you live. That really ->-bleeped-<-ing sucks. :(
Well the ID debate seems to always be what happens. I hate it seems like the thing seems to always turn into some sort of either "I'm more trans than you" or "You should learn to accept yourself" type thing or something.. Like you said if we can all find our way to ending the GID feelings, then that's what matters! I may not share the exact same issues as someone else but I try to find a way to relate to how they feel.
But I am a bit lost on the "no accommodations where you live" part?
Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 10:33:47 PM
That's not what I meant at all. My body is not a possession, it is an extension of myself - for a part of it to be missing, especially a part that is so intimate, so fundamental to my identity is... painful. I was just pointing out that it isn't only a dislike of what is currently there, it is a need for what is MEANT to be there. My mind is mapped to have a vagina, not having one ->-bleeped-<-s me up.
I can't imagine thinking it was just "the cherry on top." The idea is entirely foreign to me. If surgery wasn't available to correct the birth defect, I wouldn't have transitioned. I'd just be dead. To suggest that I am doing it for the "wrong reasons" seems very silly. I'm having the surgery in order to survive.
if it's what you need to do, do it. i'm really only concerned with what i need to do anyway. you made your original post in a question format, so i answered from my point of view.
Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 11:29:29 PM
Where I live, you can change the gender marker on every piece of ID except your birth certificate prior to surgery. And of course we have marriage equality, so the gender marker on the birth certificate really doesn't do anything. Not perfect, but at least it doesn't interfere with peoples' daily lives.
That would be great! For being a "free country" as the USA claims to be, I find my freedoms more and more limited as I venture away from married with 2.4 children "normal". What's sad is finding people in the trans community here supporting these restrictive regulations...
You need to have srs to change your gender marker? Why?
What about those of us who don't want srs?
Quote from: Mahsa the shark on September 19, 2011, 01:39:14 AM
You need to have srs to change your gender marker? Why?
What about those of us who don't want srs?
I'm sure someone will be along shortly with a pithy comment on how not wanting SRS means you are not a woman.. Which I don't think is entirely fair - can I get a subscription to the gender binary with that, please?
Where I live in Aus, the law has just been changed to enable Aus citizens to have a M, F or X (indeterminate) gender marker.. Only a letter from your specialist is required to change the marker.. With my passport, I can then change all sorts of other things..
Quote from: Mahsa the shark on September 19, 2011, 01:39:14 AM
You need to have srs to change your gender marker? Why?
What about those of us who don't want srs?
Good questions. In the US some seem to believe this invalidates their post-op "status" and seem not to care what negative impact this has on others..
But I'm sure a few of the binary gender crowd will be along in a moment to explain to us how we aren't women since we don't schedule regular gynecologist visits..
Let's take it easy here, people - there's no need to react to inflammatory statements that haven't even been made yet(!) and it would be great if we could have a discussion that didn't turn into a "who's a real woman, then?" bunfight.
Let's stay on topic, talk about our own experiences, and not judge (or prejudge) each others'.
Hi,
I never did like my genitals,/// every time I got out of the shower I would put them between my legs/// also
I was married to a beautiful women for 32 yrs/// I only which I was that women///
Janis
Quote from: Stephe on September 19, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Good questions. In the US some seem to believe this invalidates their post-op "status" and seem not to care what negative impact this has on others..
But I'm sure a few of the binary gender crowd will be along in a moment to explain to us how we aren't women since we don't schedule regular gynecologist visits..
This is entirely inflammatory and uncalled for.
Quote from: Steph on September 19, 2011, 10:36:21 AM
This is entirely inflammatory and uncalled for.
So Steph did you say this same thing to the people who made those statements to me? Just curious..
Seriously? We're just going to ignore a request for civility?
locked!