It's been two years since I've started HRT. In the 2 1/2 since I started transitioning, I've never been called sir. I've had a few people point out I was a man(err about 6 times) and had some action figure fanboys on a fanboy message board tear me apart on my old LJ...But that was due to some horrible stuff I did on the board and deserved that completely. My old LJ was when I first started and for the first year...things were bad in my opinion.
But living in the burbs of the SF bay area. Everyone calls me "ma'm"...even people I've talked to tell me, "I didn't know til you told me, how is that possible?". I've "fooled" several of my coworkers at my old job who had no idea of my prior life. I go to gay bars and no one asks me if I am a drag queen. Some gay man bought me a drink because he thought I was a "lonely ->-bleeped-<- hag whose ->-bleeped-<- deserted her" one night... then proceeded to get freaked out when I showed him my old pics.
I am not saying people don't know. I am sure many of them do. If the message board was any indication, people can spot...But say nothing. Teenage boys ask me out.. Now when I am out in public, women ask me about clothes...Men ask me for my number/rides/dates...I've used the women's bathrooms with no problems, and people are never confused about my gender. I am female to everyone. Men stare at me and check me out... Homies who used to call me a "->-bleeped-<-got" "fairy" "she/he/it" "->-bleeped-<-" now ask for my number. I got asked out by a guy who had tear drop tattoos who was tough as hell and he wasn't on the DL... The guy had no idea.
I mean I can tell my own kind. Even the most passable, passively attractive mtfs I can tell. It might be my background in cosmetics and anatomy, but I can tell due to facial structures. I look at my face and see masculine features.... I mean yeah, I had the "femme" gay boy face before..But it doesn't change the fact that my face is mannish...I've accepted it. Can no one else see it?
But how do you know if you're getting clocked? Is it because I live in the bay area and people are used to it?
You're face isn't mannish at all, you're very pretty. Maybe when you say you can tell, you're just looking too much into it lol. I can guarantee that there are ciswomen with slightly masculine facial structures or whatever.
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 20, 2011, 01:28:04 AM
You're face isn't mannish at all, you're very pretty. Maybe when you say you can tell, you're just looking too much into it lol. I can guarantee that there are ciswomen with slightly masculine facial structures or whatever.
Well the one time I was clocked severely, this gay black kid said I had "masculine features" and the men on the board said I was "fugly". But they were toy collectors... Guys who are still mentally 12.
I mean I don't see it and yes, I've seen pretty transgirls..... But someone being attractive and passing as a GG are two separate concepts. I was once told I looked like a boy dressed as a girl by this toy shop owner and I asked why and he said, "boobs aren't big enough and the face is different than womens" then told me, "You aren't convincing"
But convincing in his view are transsexuals who look like HOOTERS girls apon further discussion with him. He was 31, good looking uy who loved Jesus.
Well from your photo your face looks great, and I don't see any masculine features at all. If all I saw was that pic and knew nothing else about you I would never clock you as trans.
Those guys are just crazy. I bet if they didn't know you were trans they would never suspect a thing.
And maybe your voice training was still bad at the time, lol
Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on October 20, 2011, 01:48:12 AM
And maybe your voice training was still bad at the time, lol
Meh...no matter how femme, we have the awkward stage while HRT does it thing. First impressions stick. I am 5'5", have tiny hands, tiny feet, etc..
But I no longer tell anyone...for the very reason I want an objective opinion.
Quote from: Lily on October 20, 2011, 01:45:08 AM
Well from your photo your face looks great, and I don't see any masculine features at all. If all I saw was that pic and knew nothing else about you I would never clock you as trans.
Those guys are just crazy. I bet if they didn't know you were trans they would never suspect a thing.
But I can generally spot other trans... Straight men avoid "traps" as such.
But some men have unrealistic views of women and that links into how they choose to view MtFs. I remember at wondercon, guys hit on me because I wasn't a geek girl...But I wasn't unobtainable like many of the hot girls there.
If a guy has realistic expectations on what women should look like, I get persued. I've dated my fair share of muscle/jock types...But the guy I'd end up marrying would look "perfect"...he'd look "just right" because thats a realistic view of everyday people. Real people have imperfections which make them beautiful and I like someone who is aesthetically pretty...I don't date based on personality alone. But yeah, I am realistic and won't be hookin up with a male dancer anytime soon.
But I feel a lot of people on the board see what they want to see when it comes to transwomen... which is why it is hard for me to comment on photos and why my commentary is sometimes harsh. I see what I see, non objectively.
i go through the same things mahsa. Ive been full time for like maybe 7 months and have not dealt with anyone that seemed to know. ive gotten a job at a nightclub where it was nothing but beautiful girls and noone had a clue about my past. When i left my last job guys that were mocking me seemed to forget that i used to be a boy by the time i had left. haha, life is soooo weird.
As far as getting clocked recently, it only seems to happen when somehow i forgot to tuck,( it happens sometimes) its only happened twice in the last 7 months tho. i member seeing a guy checking me out while i was walking in a mall and i saw his jaw hit the floor. I have learned that i cant really act likei always know what people are saying or thinking. To me though when you walk past a guy and smile and he smiles back, you pass. When i just started living as a girl i smiled at a guy once and he responded with this look of horror on his face, so thats always been my judging scale. if people treat you like a girl then there isnt a question about your gender, but when u get strange looks ( you know wut i mean,not just people staring at you ) or people kinda laughing at you, then you might need to reajust how your presenting yourself. oh and i always seem to get read at a nail salon getting my eyebrows done. they dont realize it until after they have asked me if i want my facial hair waxed the 7th time, they kinda figure it out.... but then again i was at the place i get my nails done ( where i thought my ts status was well known ) and the lady kept asking me y no bf or kids ? lolol sheesh :D
unless they tell you they clocked you, i wouldn't worry about it because no one can read minds! Plus, you'll go crazy trying to figure out what people are thinking.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 20, 2011, 01:15:23 AM
It's been two years since I've started HRT. In the 2 1/2 since I started transitioning, I've never been called sir. I've had a few people point out I was a man(err about 6 times) and had some action figure fanboys on a fanboy message board tear me apart on my old LJ...But that was due to some horrible stuff I did on the board and deserved that completely. My old LJ was when I first started and for the first year...things were bad in my opinion.
But living in the burbs of the SF bay area. Everyone calls me "ma'm"...even people I've talked to tell me, "I didn't know til you told me, how is that possible?". I've "fooled" several of my coworkers at my old job who had no idea of my prior life. I go to gay bars and no one asks me if I am a drag queen. Some gay man bought me a drink because he thought I was a "lonely ->-bleeped-<- hag whose ->-bleeped-<- deserted her" one night... then proceeded to get freaked out when I showed him my old pics.
I am not saying people don't know. I am sure many of them do. If the message board was any indication, people can spot...But say nothing. Teenage boys ask me out.. Now when I am out in public, women ask me about clothes...Men ask me for my number/rides/dates...I've used the women's bathrooms with no problems, and people are never confused about my gender. I am female to everyone. Men stare at me and check me out... Homies who used to call me a "->-bleeped-<-got" "fairy" "she/he/it" "->-bleeped-<-" now ask for my number. I got asked out by a guy who had tear drop tattoos who was tough as hell and he wasn't on the DL... The guy had no idea.
I mean I can tell my own kind. Even the most passable, passively attractive mtfs I can tell. It might be my background in cosmetics and anatomy, but I can tell due to facial structures. I look at my face and see masculine features.... I mean yeah, I had the "femme" gay boy face before..But it doesn't change the fact that my face is mannish...I've accepted it. Can no one else see it?
But how do you know if you're getting clocked? Is it because I live in the bay area and people are used to it?
Ok, ok...We get it. Do you really have to rub your passability in our faces??? Hehe, just kidding. :P
From your pic, you look great. I don't see anything trans about you. Maybe that's the reason why no one is clocking you. You just look like another woman. Maybe Some people notice because they have a really strong transdar, like you state you have.
Quote from: angelfaced on October 20, 2011, 01:05:49 PM
i go through the same things mahsa. Ive been full time for like maybe 7 months and have not dealt with anyone that seemed to know. ive gotten a job at a nightclub where it was nothing but beautiful girls and noone had a clue about my past. When i left my last job guys that were mocking me seemed to forget that i used to be a boy by the time i had left. haha, life is soooo weird.
As far as getting clocked recently, it only seems to happen when somehow i forgot to tuck,( it happens sometimes) its only happened twice in the last 7 months tho. i member seeing a guy checking me out while i was walking in a mall and i saw his jaw hit the floor. I have learned that i cant really act likei always know what people are saying or thinking. To me though when you walk past a guy and smile and he smiles back, you pass. When i just started living as a girl i smiled at a guy once and he responded with this look of horror on his face, so thats always been my judging scale. if people treat you like a girl then there isnt a question about your gender, but when u get strange looks ( you know wut i mean,not just people staring at you ) or people kinda laughing at you, then you might need to reajust how your presenting yourself. oh and i always seem to get read at a nail salon getting my eyebrows done. they dont realize it until after they have asked me if i want my facial hair waxed the 7th time, they kinda figure it out.... but then again i was at the place i get my nails done ( where i thought my ts status was well known ) and the lady kept asking me y no bf or kids ? lolol sheesh :D
I do cosmetics. Several of the girls there had no idea I was trans. Yes, drags work there... But they say, "you look like a normal girl" which is kind of awesome. Of course, the downside is now that I am another member of girl world and things shall get catty.
Yeah, I definitely think I've reached the point where there is no question in peoples mind I am female. But I rarely see the "look of horror". Men do stare at me, but its never that judging, clocking stare. I used to think people were questioning my gender...But my friends told me, "Yeah, you're hearing things that aren't there". I think because we have people paying attention to us, it makes things a lot worse. But my female coworkers had told a few of the guys at work who found me attractive that I was a TS and I told HR. The guys were flirting with me and they had heard I was a TS, but no one believed it.
But yeah...I think the eyebrow thing may have been because the brows are soooo red after the plucking/waxing.
Quote from: JenJen2011 on October 20, 2011, 01:17:06 PM
Ok, ok...We get it. Do you really have to rub your passability in our faces??? Hehe, just kidding. :P
From your pic, you look great. I don't see anything trans about you. Maybe that's the reason why no one is clocking you. You just look like another woman. Maybe Some people notice because they have a really strong transdar, like you state you have.
I was waiting for this reply. No I want to have a discussion on people being clocked.
I am not shameless self promoting! LOL
Mahsa
I go through the same thing on a daily basis (except I have not been asked out). I think once one of us gets to a point where we are passing, it is hard to tell when we are clocked. It is a bit tough because a woman can be looking at you just to check how you are dressed like, and a guy can be just checking you out.
Usually when someone does a strange face, like with a frown or jaw hits floor thing, I know I have been clocked. This has only happened to me in my first week of full time. Otherwise, I don't think it is possible to tell. The best example I can give, is once when I was washing hands at the hospital, I remember you read that post and know what happened. Another time, when I was at a nightclub, I had a guy looking at me while I was asking for a drink at the bar, I thought I was clocked but he went on to start small talk with me.
So, getting stares doesn't means you are clocked. I think we have this impression because women are checked out more often than guys are and for more reasons. A guy will hardly ever look at another one to check his clothes out, as a example.
But! Once at lunch I saw two gay guys, one looked at me and went to say something to the one next to him who then looked at me with a smile. That IMO is clocked. I think gay men clock me easily :P
So, in conclusion, I think only the judgemental face is a giveaway of "you are clocked" or being called a sir. In any other situation, we are just overanalyzing.
Good thread! Getting clocked is a very stressful topic to talk about, well, for me at least. Why is it always assumed that if someone sort of does a smilesmile face at you, they have you clocked? I've been full time for two weeks, and if a guy looks/stares at me then I assume it's because he thinks I'm cute! If a girl stares, it's like "Oh no, is she seeing something male about me?" I think we tend to over-judge situations like people looking at us. I think the way to know if someone clocked you is if they keep looking back at you, maybe with a weirded out face; or if you see a group of people pointing at you or something. Obvious signs like that. It's hard to know, though, because everyone reacts differently to people who are trans.
Also, Mahsa, I don't see how ANYONE could ever clock you. You look a bit like Krysten Ritter. Do teenage boys really ask you out? lol. I've yet to have that happen, but it must feel awesome.
Quote from: ZeldaHeart on October 20, 2011, 03:16:37 PM
Good thread! Getting clocked is a very stressful topic to talk about, well, for me at least. Why is it always assumed that if someone sort of does a smilesmile face at you, they have you clocked? I've been full time for two weeks, and if a guy looks/stares at me then I assume it's because he thinks I'm cute! If a girl stares, it's like "Oh no, is she seeing something male about me?" I think we tend to over-judge situations like people looking at us. I think the way to know if someone clocked you is if they keep looking back at you, maybe with a weirded out face; or if you see a group of people pointing at you or something. Obvious signs like that. It's hard to know, though, because everyone reacts differently to people who are trans.
Also, Mahsa, I don't see how ANYONE could ever clock you. You look a bit like Krysten Ritter. Do teenage boys really ask you out? lol. I've yet to have that happen, but it must feel awesome.
I would think staring would be the obivious sign. I remember when I used to see people I knew were I would keep looking back and stuff. That was before I knew what transpeople were...
Yeah, its happened a few times. Like I was walking to the train station...I have a socal girl style. So I stick out... This 16 year old Mexican kid was like, "Baby your hot, give me your number" he was in his car and I was on the median trying to cross the street.... Then this other time, this 18 year old guy saw me at the thrift store and he was like, "want to go out?"...
I mean I remember being really perceptive at that age and would see transpeople and think, "Wow, that girl is nice looking but there's something different about her" or "ohmygod...that woman is yikes" ... But men tend to think hormonally and have that primal instinct to go after women regardless if they are trans or not. I've found a lot of men don't care either...a beautiful girl is a beautiful girl regardless of what she was born as.
Quote.a beautiful girl is a beautiful girl regardless of what she was born as.
I hope to meet a lot of men who think like that :P
@Zelda
Well they were gay, so it is different. And damn Zelda, if your avatar is anything to go for, If you told me you were trans I would say it is BS.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 20, 2011, 01:15:23 AM
But how do you know if you're getting clocked?
I'd look for someone holding a stopwatch. No, but seriously, there's basically no way to know unless someone pipes up. Or if you develop telepathic powers.
Quote from: Bird on October 20, 2011, 04:08:35 PM
I hope to meet a lot of men who think like that :P
@Zelda
Well they were gay, so it is different. And damn Zelda, if your avatar is anything to go for, If you told me you were trans I would say it is BS.
Agreed about meeting men like that! Also, sorry if I came across as insensitive with what I said about people smiling. If two gay guys did that to me, I'd probably be totally hoping that I turned them straight! Just kidding, that's just plain wishful thinking. I'd be thinking they clocked me and go home and be sad. Also, thanks a BILLION for saying that, bird. You're too kind.
Marsha i luv your threads, always so interesting. I think you're looking way to much into this though, you look lovely and totally passable in my opinion & i'm totally jealous of your makeup skills!
When people laugh and whisper while looking at you then THAT'S YOUR SIGN! lol. Voice is what gets most ts girls clocked, for awhile i wouldn't talk like at all while i was out and about. Takes alot of practice but anyone can achieve a passable female voice.
Quote from: Rukia87xo on October 20, 2011, 05:36:33 PM
When people laugh and whisper while looking at you then THAT'S YOUR SIGN!
Jan, you win the prize! :)
QuoteEven the most passable, passively attractive mtfs I can tell
I used to think I could tell. Then I met some people and had my whole idea of transdar blown out of the water.
Quote from: Sunnynight on October 20, 2011, 08:46:56 PM
I used to think I could tell. Then I met some people and had my whole idea of transdar blown out of the water.
I saw one of my gay friends tonight. He said, "I think some people spot you, but a lot of people have gotten over being freaked out over it. It's a different time now, people are seeing more of them"
He pretty much told me that awkwardness and ugliness freak people out. I mean I know from being a drag queen, there are those who pull it off well and those who don't. But we give them stars for being fabulous. I suppose there's a difference between the DIVINES and the Carmen Carerras.
^
Before I get hate mail for the above statement. I know transsexual women are women... But what you do with makeup, hair, personality, exercise, raw elements effect how people perceive you post transition. Hormones are only a small part of the equation
This may sound pessimistic, but I just assume that I don't pass at all, learn to relax, and love the bomb.
But I'm six foot million, and over 200lbs. You crazy people may think I look pretty, but I am anything but a huge guy. But I am learning to get over it. Also, some of you know that my voice is atrocious. I get customers telling me I should be a radio announcer all the the time. But, like I said, I'm forcing myself to relax, hold my head high when I can, and act like nothing is wrong.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 20, 2011, 08:58:15 PM
I saw one of my gay friends tonight. He said, "I think some people spot you, but a lot of people have gotten over being freaked out over it. It's a different time now, people are seeing more of them"
He pretty much told me that awkwardness and ugliness freak people out. I mean I know from being a drag queen, there are those who pull it off well and those who don't. But we give them stars for being fabulous. I suppose there's a difference between the DIVINES and the Carmen Carerras.
^
Before I get hate mail for the above statement. I know transsexual women are women... But what you do with makeup, hair, personality, exercise, raw elements effect how people perceive you post transition. Hormones are only a small part of the equation
I think you and I might be on the same wavelength with regards to presentation. BTW I loves me some drag queens.
Quote from: Sunnynight on October 20, 2011, 09:43:42 PM
I think you and I might be on the same wavelength with regards to presentation. BTW I loves me some drag queens.
I mean my drag queen friends have told me, "You're like us, but 24/7"...it takes a lot to look the way you do everyday". I'd rather drag queens give the girls here fashion tips than the older transitioners. I mean in theory, the presentation is very similar..
When I started transitioning, the older woman in my group told me "You need training from me on how to pass and act like a woman" and I was like, "take lessons from a 59 yr old who just started...umm :icon_yikes:"
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 20, 2011, 01:33:33 AM
Well the one time I was clocked severely, this gay black kid said I had "masculine features" and the men on the board said I was "fugly". But they were toy collectors... Guys who are still mentally 12.
I think you give them too much credit. :laugh:
I think that we usually know when we've been clocked because people always seem to want us to know. But if a fellow trans person clocks us, I don't know what usually happens. We don't have a secret nod or tattoo or handshake, and I think most of us are considerate enough not to out others whom we think are trans.
Quote from: Arch on October 20, 2011, 10:27:24 PM
I think you give them too much credit. :laugh:
I think most of us are considerate enough not to out others whom we think are trans.
If I am not doing anything, I will go up to them and talk to them. i really don't care... I mean thats how my friend Erin and I met...I straight up asked her, "You're trans, right?"
I want to point out that one thing I've noticed is that as soon as someone finds out you're trans, suddenly, EVERYTHING is a masculine feature. For example, my shoulders are 16 inches across, which is below average even for cis females, yet I still have people say I have broad shoulders. Their perception of you becomes so ridiculously biased that even if you had a 40E-23-40 figure, they will still be saying you have a masculine body shape. They say that because it challenges their pre-conceived notions of gender so they say you look masculine to rationalize it to themselves. It really sucks because then what happens is that you internalize that biased perception, and you come down with what I call "femmarexia", analogous to how someone with anorexia or bulimia nervosa always sees themselves as fat even if they are severely underweight, you will always see yourself as masculine looking no matter how feminine you actually look.
You can't unless someone openly expresses said doubts with you somtimes you might think you know when you walk past someone and they stare at you as you walk past if it happens alot you can generally assume somthing is up... However I did this once and I thought "do I really look that bad today?" it was when I looked down and realized I had a huge hole in my leggings... and pepole stopped staring at me once I got changed.
somtimes however you think somone might have clocked you when they stare at you but you don't know what they are really thinking "Is that a guy in a dress?" or "I like how she looks"
Somtimes you know those days are usually when I've not shaved for eletrolysis.
I personally live as a female full time at work and apart from HR I don't think anyone knows at least I've not been gendered as a male by anyone. When I pointed out in my interview that I'd changed my name recently on my passport the manager responded with. "did you get married?" where I had to say. "No... umm change of gender."
Quote from: pebbles on October 20, 2011, 11:31:18 PMWhen I pointed out in my interview that I'd changed my name recently on my passport the manager responded with. "did you get married?" where I had to say. "No... umm change of gender."
This is fabulous.
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 20, 2011, 09:52:50 PM
When I started transitioning, the older woman in my group told me "You need training from me on how to pass and act like a woman" and I was like, "take lessons from a 59 yr old who just started...umm :icon_yikes:"
ROFL :laugh: Yeah i know what you mean, it was the same deal with the women in my support group. They told me listen up and i'll pass one day, problem with that is none of them passed and they got clocked alot. :icon_crazy:
Quote from: Rukia87xo on October 21, 2011, 12:00:55 AM
ROFL :laugh: Yeah i know what you mean, it was the same deal with the women in my support group. They told me listen up and i'll pass one day, problem with that is none of them passed and they got clocked alot. :icon_crazy:
Passing under what notion? You look cute...and seem very very femme. Some women here will pass as geeks, others as renfair/gothy women, other as babes... We're not all the same.
I mean I am not saying some guys don't think I am fugly...they probably do. Doesn't show in their faces...doesn't show in their behavior when even the homliest of nerds are sweet to me. The same kind of guys who would tear into me on a message forum. But hardly amounts to being clocked, when I said I was trans on my LJ...if they know, they will find a way to tear you apart.
If you ever talk to me...I am very bitchy, aggressive, and blunt honest. I think it challenges a lot of the older trans communities notions on how women should act.
I'm obviously under the babe category.
/sticks out bare leg
forgot to shave btw ::)
Quote from: JoeyD on October 21, 2011, 12:21:44 AM
I'm obviously under the babe category.
/sticks out bare leg
forgot to shave btw ::)
:D
You and me both tootz. Only going by
what people tell me.
:D You two always manage to make me laugh. <3
I don't think i fall into the babe category.......more like the FOXY category!! *Plays hendrix foxy lady* O0 << never thought i'd get to use that smiley
<3
Quote from: A_Dresden_Doll on October 20, 2011, 09:34:07 PM
This may sound pessimistic, but I just assume that I don't pass at all, learn to relax, and love the bomb.
But I'm six foot million, and over 200lbs. You crazy people may think I look pretty, but I am anything but a huge guy. But I am learning to get over it. Also, some of you know that my
The Commodores - Brick House (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5EmnQp3V48#)
she's a brick...
HOWZE
Quote from: Rukia87xo on October 21, 2011, 01:06:16 AM
:D You two always manage to make me laugh. <3
I don't think i fall into the babe category.......more like the FOXY category!! *Plays hendrix foxy lady* O0 << never thought i'd get to use that smiley
Why do I imagine Garth from waynes world going up to you doing that song?
One would think that after transitioning/currently in the process, you sort of develop this heightened sense of awareness of the environment around you. And you can sort of tell usually if people clock you from the way they look at you; not even necessarily outright say something to you (Though I have witnessed it MANY times from hanging out with fellow sisters who didn't pass very well.), but the double takes are also a good indicator that you most likely got clocked (Unless you're far into your transition, then they were probably just checking you out! ;) ). I can't say i've ever been clocked personally. Then again, I started around my late teens and often dressed very neutral in the beginning so people weren't sure what gender pronouns to use, and that actually got me a lot more unwanted attention than normal, but I generally passed as female even in "awkward girl mode". And there is also one's voice! This in my opinion, will either make or break you in terms of passing. I know a few girls that pass super well and are mega pretty and then when they open their mouths to talk it's like, "WHOA! CLOCKZILLAAAAAAAA!!!! RUUUUUN!!!"
There are also a few girls I know that pump themselves with silicone and have done a whole lot of "drag" shows (Because in some places here in Orlando, you practically have to go full blown ->-bleeped-<- if you wanna do "drag" in some places here. But thankfully not all of them.) and a great deal of them carry themselves like sassy flaming gay men and that usually gets them clocked right away. Aside from passing physically, I believe that a great deal of our success in passing comes from the way you carry yourself in public. Take notes from cis girls(Mother, sister, best friend), because most of them have done it a lot longer than you have and you'd be an dummy if you didn't head their advice/observe how they act and socialize.
It does happen to me still, that I get what I'd call an 'inquiring' look.
That could be because I do not look the usual female at my age (65) i.e. biggish bottom, comfort shoes, no make-up, big bosom, etc.
It could mean just - hey, you look interesting... it is never disapproving though I must say.
(Some thought I was Sharon Stone under cover, oh yeah?)
And with most any folks I speak to, I NEVER get anything remotely disapproving either. In fact quite the opposite in deed.
So, am I being clocked?
Hey, most people have not even an idea what transsexualism is... I don't know your part of the world, and it may be VERY different there.
At present I do not pass with my passport and/or ID card picture anymore, and had some fun when coming back from Thailand SRS in SA.
Only my post-op doctor's letter saved the day - and then I got some very friendly smiles from the passport control lady and was waved through :-)
Axelle
If you don't know what it is, how do you know what you are looking for?
I'm sure that the Bay Area has a very high percentage of people (much higher than say Omaha) who 'know' someone who is transgendered. Be it someone they work with, someone who works in a store where they shop, or who rides the same bus as they do - some sort of casual familiarity. And the more you know.... So it makes sense that more people in that area are conditioned to know what they are looking for, and at.
Quote from: Mariposa on October 21, 2011, 06:10:49 AM
There are also a few girls I know that pump themselves with silicone and have done a whole lot of "drag" shows (Because in some places here in Orlando, you practically have to go full blown ->-bleeped-<- if you wanna do "drag" in some places here. But thankfully not all of them.) and a great deal of them carry themselves like sassy flaming gay men and that usually gets them clocked right away. Aside from passing physically, I believe that a great deal of our success in passing comes from the way you carry yourself in public. Take notes from cis girls(Mother, sister, best friend), because most of them have done it a lot longer than you have and you'd be an dummy if you didn't head their advice/observe how they act and socialize.
Yeah, if I go to BADLANDS and act quiet. None of the gay men pick up on it, if I start changing my intonation to my "gaycent" they pick up on it right away. As for the drag queen ones, they all work at Macys, Bloomies, etc...the voices gives them away right away.
I mean I act very femme and relaxed in public. Being in the bay area, people still pick up on who is trans and who isn't. But voice is extremely important, I know if combined with a femme appearance no one will say anything.
Quote from: tekla on October 21, 2011, 10:56:05 AM
If you don't know what it is, how do you know what you are looking for?
I'm sure that the Bay Area has a very high percentage of people (much higher than say Omaha) who 'know' someone who is transgendered. Be it someone they work with, someone who works in a store where they shop, or who rides the same bus as they do - some sort of casual familiarity. And the more you know.... So it makes sense that more people in that area are conditioned to know what they are looking for, and at.
My GG friends can generally spot TS people, because we all work in cosmetics. But out in suburbia, it's not that easy. I mean there is definitely a higher proportion in Concord, Contra Costa county and the South bay than in Alameda county. I never see any who are... and I am out often. I already went on about how I can spot them...especially since I hang out at the LGBT center and go to LYON MARTIN clinic.
But in general...those are the ones who stick out. There are plenty who could be the person next to me and I wouldn't know in a casual interaction with them.
To the original question...
Julie and I were just talking about this yesterday. I said, "If someone doesn't look at you funny, suddenly change their attitude towards you or treat you like you have leprosy, you probably passed."
She agreed and then said, "That's kind of sad."
Yes it is. But after one experiences the kind of rejection so typical when one transitions, what else can one conclude?
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on October 21, 2011, 11:56:07 AM
My GG friends can generally spot TS people, because we all work in cosmetics. But out in suburbia, it's not that easy. I mean there is definitely a higher proportion in Concord, Contra Costa county and the South bay than in Alameda county. I never see any who are... and I am out often. I already went on about how I can spot them...especially since I hang out at the LGBT center and go to LYON MARTIN clinic.
But in general...those are the ones who stick out. There are plenty who could be the person next to me and I wouldn't know in a casual interaction with them.
I can't speak for everyone who sticks out. In my personal experience I never know if people are looking at me because they are clocking me, or they are looking at me because the style of clothes I wear. Or maybe because something is on my face :D. I've only had one experience where people clocked me and they were rather vocal about it, but that was in another country. But generally no one says anything to me after looking. Even if they do clock me, I just go about my business.
i've actually had more trouble being a convincing male. anyway, if people find out your transsexual, who cares? it's just a lesson learned. i saw a ticket lady at the grand ole opry with tons of yellowish facial hair. at first i thought she was transsexual, and it kind of catches you off guard to see someone who doesn't hold up the gender binary. next, i thought it could've been many things like hirsuitism, polycystic ovary syndrome, or something like that. you can't know for sure unless you get strip searched. people are just rude and have poor manners, but they'll learn to get over it some day.